Trust issues

I am a recovering trust issues addict.  Basically, there are very few people I trust.  My young life had its challenges which created an ultra sensitive awareness of imbalance. I immediately begin assessing body language, eye movements, and tone of voice in every person I meet. It's just how my mind works.  I can determine my trust level within minutes.  With my mother's bipolar disorder, there was a fine line between mania and depression.  Saying or doing the wrong thing could send her over the edge.  Hence my keen sense of mood and behavior.  Can you see where I went wrong and why I am a recovering trust issues addict?  I was placing all my trust in people.

In today's first reading (Jer 17:5-10), the Lord tells us who to trust:

“Cursed is the man who trusts in human beings, who seeks his strength in flesh, whose heart turns away from the LORD. He is like a barren bush in the desert that enjoys no change of season, but stands in a lava waste, a salt and empty earth. Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose hope is the LORD. He is like a tree planted beside the waters that stretches out its roots to the stream:

It fears not the heat when it comes, its leaves stay green; In the year of drought it shows no distress, but still bears fruit. More tortuous than all else is the human heart, beyond remedy; who can understand it? I, the LORD, alone probe the mind and test the heart, to reward everyone according to his ways, according to the merit of his deeds.”

Let me tell you, when you trust in Him, you become much more compassionate to those who let you down.  You learn to see human frailty and understand others are doing the best they can with what they have and know.  And, you learn to take a look inside to see where you have failed others.  When you become illuminated with the Truth, the world looks quite different than it did before.

In the March 2009 Monthly Message, Jesus reiterates where our trust should be placed:

“. . . You have come to trust My loving compassion, My forgiveness and My uninterrupted affection. That is because you have come to know Me. If others do not know Me as well as you do, they will trust Me less. If they trust Me less, they will experience fear and this will cause them difficulty which moves out from the fear to greater and greater pain. If My apostles will accept that fear of being unloved is the source of great pain for others, My apostles will view the mistakes of others with compassion, as I do. Yes, the pain of humanity can only be remedied by loving compassion. This is why you are sent out by Me. You move into the world with heaven’s healing compassion. My apostles, perhaps you do not feel this compassion from others. Perhaps you feel that you are in need of compassion and find only condemnation. I make two remarks about this. One, please be willing to ask for understanding from other holy apostles and then accept what they offer to you in humility. Next, ask Me if I am judging you. Ask Me if I view you harshly. You know that I do not. I am pleased with whatever you offer Me in terms of fidelity and service. I am pleased with whatever you give to Me in terms of prayer and silence. I work so well in your little soul when you allow Me. I feel the greatest compassion for you. I am happy with your efforts to be holy and to love those around you. I rejoice in you. I rejoice in your commitment to Me. I urge you today in the most serious way to trust Me and trust in My plan for you.”

Trust in God completely and it will rock your world.  Don't beat yourself up when you fail at trusting Him once in a while.  Like me, recovering takes time.  Time He patiently waits for everyone of His children.

God bless,

Bonnie