Monday, March 25, 2019

Gospel Thoughts Today: Mary's Incredible Faith

There is a song by Amy Grant called Breath of Heaven . . . a song for Our Blessed Mother Mary. Here are some of the lyrics:

I have traveled many moonless nights
Cold and weary with a babe inside
And I wonder what I've done
Holy Father, You have come
And chosen me now to carry Your Son
I am waiting in a silent prayer
I am frightened by the load I bear
In a world as cold as stone
Must I walk this path alone?
Be with me now, be with me now
Breath of Heaven, hold me together
Be forever near me, Breath of Heaven
Breath of Heaven, lighten my darkness
Pour over me Your holiness for You are holy
Breath of Heaven
Do you wonder as you watch my face
If a wiser one should have had my place?
But I offer all I am
For the mercy of Your plan
Help me be strong, help me be, help me

This song is stunningly beautiful, especially sung by Ms. Grant. It depicts exactly what must have been going through Mary's mind as she carried our Lord and Savior. Today's Gospel (Luke 1:26-38) is about her complete trust in God:

The angel Gabriel was sent from God to a town of Galilee called Nazareth, to a virgin betrothed to a man named Joseph, of the house of David, and the virgin’s name was Mary. And coming to her, he said, “Hail, full of grace! The Lord is with you.” But she was greatly troubled at what was said and pondered what sort of greeting this might be. Then the angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God. Behold, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you shall name him Jesus. He will be great and will be called Son of the Most High, and the Lord God will give him the throne of David his father, and he will rule over the house of Jacob forever, and of his Kingdom there will be no end.” But Mary said to the angel, “How can this be, since I have no relations with a man?” And the angel said to her in reply, “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. Therefore the child to be born will be called holy, the Son of God. And behold, Elizabeth, your relative, has also conceived a son in her old age, and this is the sixth month for her who was called barren; for nothing will be impossible for God.” Mary said, “Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord. May it be done to me according to your word.” Then the angel departed from her.

In Volume One, Jesus asks us to trust, even if we aren't sure:

"I need obedient servants. Again, I tell you, study the Bible. Read the Gospels. My children in the past did not always understand why they were asked to do things. Even My mother, Mary, did not always understand the value of her actions. Saint Joseph, My foster father, is a beautiful example of the reverence a soul must possess for the Divine Will in his life. Ask St. Joseph to help you with obedience and the trust necessary to obey. He will hear you. And you will progress. This is a time, now, for heeding My messages, children. I say this with all solemnity. Be advised. Your God wishes to save you through your obedience."

Lay apostles, think about Our Lady today and the incredible faith she had in God. It takes courage and humility to rationalize what others may deem as wrong or bad, even though it is Our Father's will. There is only One Person we need to please in this life. Stay focused on what He thinks rather than what the world thinks.

Thank you, Lord, for the courage and humility You have given me in times of disappointment or confusion. Remind me to remember the huge leap of faith Your Mother showed when she became Your first Tabernacle on earth.

God bless,
Bonnie

Thursday, March 21, 2019

Gospel Thoughts Today: Suffering For Peace

Suffering . . . the word itself is enough to send anyone running in the opposite direction! While contemplating this "word" from the Gospel today, my thoughts shifted to caring for my parents at end of life. Dad's end was distinctly different from Mom's. Dad always had a pretty good attitude and never once complained after surrendering his once independent life to living in my home full time. He accepted his suffering like a champion (metastatic malignant melanoma), and when he asked for pain medication, which he rarely did, I knew it was pretty bad. Every day for those precious four months I had with him (24/7) were filled with routine . . . morning coffee, out to the patio to smoke, and 10am Price is Right during the week! Afternoons were spent watching sports and occasional rides to Target (his favorite store!) just to get him out of the house. Despite the good days, the suffering was mutual. To see my strong, sports-loving father wither away into a thin, frail man broke my heart at times. His last moment on Earth was exactly what he had asked for and what my sister and I promised . . . we would be holding his hand when he took his last breath. It was as calm and peaceful as he had lived most of his life.

Now, my mother on the other hand . . . well, let's just say her end of life was consistent with her life on earth. A lifetime of mental illness was full of highs and lows. I know, in my heart, she suffered her purgatory on Earth. Always tormented by her traumatic childhood, her last weeks in hospice seemed she would leave this earth just as tormented. It was Lent and a visiting priest came in to see her. After he left, my sister and I read to mom (she wasn't responding at this point, but constantly scowling) from a Lenten devotional which happened to be on forgiveness that day. There were so many people who had hurt my mom as a child, and I believe she had held those hurts close. We encouraged her to forgive her tormenters so she could move on to paradise. That evening, something had changed . . . Mom had the most peaceful look on her face. And it remained until she passed away a few days later. Not only was she relieved of her earthly suffering, but now my sister and I could release ours too.

Today's Gospel (Luke 16:19-31) reminds us that suffering on earth is worth our eternity in heaven:

Jesus said to the Pharisees: “There was a rich man who dressed in purple garments and fine linen and dined sumptuously each day. And lying at his door was a poor man named Lazarus, covered with sores, who would gladly have eaten his fill of the scraps that fell from the rich man’s table. Dogs even used to come and lick his sores. When the poor man died, he was carried away by angels to the bosom of Abraham. The rich man also died and was buried, and from the netherworld, where he was in torment, he raised his eyes and saw Abraham far off and Lazarus at his side. And he cried out, ‘Father Abraham, have pity on me. Send Lazarus to dip the tip of his finger in water and cool my tongue, for I am suffering torment in these flames.’ Abraham replied, ‘My child, remember that you received what was good during your lifetime while Lazarus likewise received what was bad; but now he is comforted here, whereas you are tormented. Moreover, between us and you a great chasm is established to prevent anyone from crossing who might wish to go from our side to yours or from your side to ours.’ He said, ‘Then I beg you, father, send him to my father’s house, for I have five brothers, so that he may warn them, lest they too come to this place of torment.’ But Abraham replied, ‘They have Moses and the prophets.

Let them listen to them.’ He said, ‘Oh no, father Abraham, but if someone from the dead goes to them, they will repent.’ Then Abraham said, ‘If they will not listen to Moses and the prophets, neither will they be persuaded if someone should rise from the dead.’“

The quote by Anne below from her book Staying in Place correlates so well with my thought process today and spotlights my Lenten objective:

"For our Apostolate, let us focus on the people God has placed in our care. For us, Church must be found in the needs of God’s children around us. If we become temporarily discouraged by mistreatment in the Church, then we will look to the people in whom God has placed the Church around us, and we will persevere. The Church as the Bride of Christ is a spiritual institution. The most severe temptations will not sway us if we focus on our work, studying people’s pain and asking ourselves where love wants to go in the moment. The inevitable ups and downs of our experience as Catholics in the Church will not shake our resolve because we do not stare into the Church demanding something but stare into the people around us offering something. The sacramental graces of the Church sustain us along with our relationship with Christ in the Eucharist. Contemplation of people and their wounds will inspire us to give generously of all that we have.

Christ was not usually thanked and blessed. He was usually rejected and distorted. He is the One we follow. His experience will be ours, undoubtedly, to a greater or lesser degree. Suffering should not alarm us, but confirm us in our service."

Lay apostles, we all have suffered spiritually, mentally, emotionally or physically to one degree or another over the span of our lives so far. I love the last line in the above quote by Anne, "Suffering should not alarm us, but confirm us in our service." Suffering is not unique to certain people. My suffering is exclusive to me. As much as I would like things to go differently at times, it's not the path Jesus has in mind. The older I get, the more my eyes are opened to the reality that life is full of ups and downs. Mentally preparing for any kind of suffering can be done on a daily basis . . . by trusting Our Lord is maneuvering us on our path for His Glory!

Thank you, Lord, for the preparation you have done in my heart and mind leading me to where I am today. Although I have so much more to learn and practice, I know trusting in You will sustain me.

God bless,
Bonnie


Wednesday, March 20, 2019

Gospel Thoughts Today: Who Is In Charge?

My book, Heavenly Healing, not only made me an author for the first time but taught me many lessons in the process. After reading today's Gospel and contemplating why the word "authority" spoke to me, Anne a lay apostle immediately came to mind. Heavenly Healing is a book of testimonies from lay apostles all over the world who have been blessed by the Apostolate of Jesus Christ the Returning King. The first time I heard Anne speak, it was like drinking water from a fire hose! Jesus grabbed my heart that day, truly beginning my journey toward eternity. A few years later, after devouring every Volume, every Heaven Speaks booklet, Climbing the Mountain and The Mist of Mercy, I wanted to write. I needed to write. After publishing a few articles in Christian magazines, I felt the Lord leading me to something bigger . . . I just wasn't sure what that was.  Soon I found myself sitting across from Anne, interviewing her with one of my daughters sitting next to Anne (we attended the Eucharistic Day of Renewal together in Illinois). As I left the interview, I felt the need to tell Anne I'd do my best in writing about the apostolate (this was prior to the concept of Heavenly Healing). She looked at me and said, "Bonnie, you are going to do great things for Jesus." This was the confidence I needed to spread the love of Christ and Direction for Our Times.

So, why did I think of Anne when I contemplated the word "authority" in today's Gospel? Because she gives God the authority He deserves in everything she does, says and writes. It's never been about her, it's about what Jesus desires. She is constantly seeking His Will, encouraging everyone to do the same.

Today's Gospel, Matthew 20:17-28:

As Jesus was going up to Jerusalem, he took the Twelve disciples aside by themselves, and said to them on the way, "Behold, we are going up to Jerusalem, and the Son of Man will be handed over to the chief priests and the scribes, and they will condemn him to death, and hand him over to the Gentiles to be mocked and scourged and crucified, and he will be raised on the third day."

Then the mother of the sons of Zebedee approached Jesus with her sons and did him homage, wishing to ask him for something. He said to her, "What do you wish?" She answered him, "Command that these two sons of mine sit, one at your right and the other at your left, in your kingdom." Jesus said in reply, "You do not know what you are asking. Can you drink the chalice that I am going to drink?" They said to him, "We can." He replied, "My chalice you will indeed drink, but to sit at my right and at my left, this is not mine to give but is for those for whom it has been prepared by my Father." When the ten heard this, they became indignant at the two brothers. But Jesus summoned them and said, "You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and the great ones make their authority over them felt. But it shall not be so among you. Rather, whoever wishes to be great among you shall be your servant; whoever wishes to be first among you shall be your slave. Just so, the Son of Man did not come to be served but to serve and to give his life as a ransom for many."

In Anne a lay apostle's book Staying in Place, she reminds us that desiring Truth is ultimately our path to knowing God:

"Perhaps what is needed is a firmer connection to the mind of God. What is the mind of God? Well, any encounter with the Father would bring one to understand authority. The Father radiates authority. Real authority, of course, comes from Truth. Full Truth, that is. Not shades of the Truth, not self-serving slants on the Truth and certainly not the Truth arbitrated for any one given historical point of history. The Truth never changes but here is the reality of our relationship to the Truth. At given historical points, God seems to allow us to go deeper into the Truth, to discover in greater detail its unchanging elements. And it is those true elements that withstand the test of time, as Divine Mercy has withstood the test of time. It has proved itself to be a true revelation for all times. But people were not ready for it prior to its revealed moment and possibly only through time will we absorb and apply it more fully."

Lay apostles, how connected do you feel to God right now? Are you taking time this Lent to develop your relationship with Him? How does today's Gospel speak to you? My connection to Him is through our morning/spiritual readings, prayers at meals, weekly Adoration, praying the Rosary and going to Mass. The more I get to know Him, the more I feel the need to give up self-will . . . to let Him take the reins.

Thank you, Lord, for being the Authority in my life. It seems so much easier when I let You lead!

God bless,
Bonnie


Tuesday, March 19, 2019

Gospel Thoughts Today: What Are You Afraid Of?

Today the word "afraid" spoke to me in the Gospel, as it perfectly relates to a conversation I recall from a few years ago. Out to lunch with two women, the topic of martyrs came up. I recalled a dream I had while writing Heavenly Healing. I was in our local church, praying in front of the Blessed Sacrament. There were about 5 other Adorers scattered throughout the pews when I heard scuffling in the back of the church. I turned around and saw a few masked men coming toward me. One of them came right up to me, pointed a gun at my forehead and asked, "Would you die for Him?" I didn't hesitate. I said, "Yes." He pulled the trigger and the impact of the bullet woke me as if actually shot. I was a bit disoriented as I jumped out of bed . . . the dream felt so real. That dream was a key moment in my life. Just years earlier, I would have been too afraid to say yes, and probably would have lied to stay alive.

As I was telling the two women this experience, one of them said, "But you wouldn't actually say 'yes' if it really happened, would you?" With no hesitation, I said "Of course I would say yes and die for Him!" She was shocked, going on further, "So if a demented person walked in this door right now, and you knew he was mentally ill and pointing a gun, you wouldn't say something to save your life?" I then told her I would never deny Him, ever. The look on her face made me realize how important it is to spread the Gospel messages and words from all of Heaven in the Volumes.

We are all heading to the same place, and I know He controls the day I am called home. Whether I am shot, drown, or die peacefully in my sleep, I am ready. Not that I am asking Him to take me now! But, if we fear death, are we really trusting God? It has taken this apostolate to form me, to learn to trust in Christ, no matter what is happening in my environment. It's not always easy and I can't say human fear wouldn't take over if confronted with the scenario from my dream. But my answer will always be "yes." Be not afraid!

In today's Gospel (Matthew 1:16, 18-21, 24A), Joseph had to overcome his human concerns about Mary, and follow the Lord's plan:

Jacob was the father of Joseph, the husband of Mary. Of her was born Jesus who is called the Christ.

Now this is how the birth of Jesus Christ came about. When his mother Mary was betrothed to Joseph, but before they lived together, she was found with child through the Holy Spirit. Joseph her husband, since he was a righteous man, yet unwilling to expose her to shame, decided to divorce her quietly. Such was his intention when, behold, the angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, "Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary your wife into your home. For it is through the Holy Spirit that this child has been conceived in her. She will bear a son and you are to name him Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins." When Joseph awoke, he did as the angel of the Lord had commanded him and took his wife into his home.

In Anne a lay apostle's book Staying in Place, she illuminates how important it is to stand firm in our love of God and commitment to Him:

"Many people remain in place, offering God’s love to others long after they have ‘felt’ an experience of love. Those children of the Father understand, in simplicity, that the best response they can make to God’s love is to bring it to others. Those who accept God’s love simply, need the least amount of persuasion and maintenance. God, in a real sense, gives them everything. They have been given the whole inheritance. They do not feel this, yet they serve on because they know this to be true intellectually. Really, whatever it takes to keep us serving is available to us in the moments we need help. On one day, one thing will provide what we need. On another day, it will be something else. This is important because if something consoles us one day and we lose it another day, we must not be afraid that we can no longer persevere. Instead, we should rest in the certainty that we no longer need that type of glue, and the newest type will be offered to us so that we can stick out our commitments to the spread of the Father’s love."

Lay apostles, do you let fear control your life? Not just the fear of death, but fear of what others will think of you? If your answer is yes, dig into the Bible. Read about the lives of Saints. Read the Volumes. I promise the more you understand Our Lord, the easier it is to let go of fear.

Thank you, Lord, for teaching me love and commitment to You trumps everything!

God bless,
Bonnie

Monday, March 18, 2019

Gospel Thoughts Today: Making U-Turns

It's easy to get caught up in noise. It's easy to try to predict the reasons behind erratic behavior. Analyzing every possible scenario is exhausting. So why try? Well, it's just how my brain works. Luckily, I have learned that when my brain starts calculating the worst case and best case scenarios, it's time to call in the Big Guy. My job is to love and be merciful, leading by example. And, set very clear boundaries.

Reminds me of an incident when my three girls were teenagers. It was around the time Ricky Martin was the big teen heartthrob. He had just opened a restaurant in Miami, so we decided it would be a fun day trip. (The girls were hoping they would get a glimpse of him, although it was highly unlikely). We were on the highway for about 20 minutes, when my oldest Mallorie was arguing with her youngest sister Taylor. The first "girls, stop the fighting" calmly escaped my lips. They quieted for about 5 minutes. Then, the bickering began again. Now my voice was a little louder. "Girls, if you argue one more time we are turning around and going home," I said (regretfully after I realized I would have to follow through with the threat!). "Noooooo, mom, we won't fight anymore. We promise!"  I was actually pretty excited to visit the restaurant, too, so I hoped they would get along for the next hour. Mind you, my middle daughter Whitney stayed out of the conflict. After the first warning, she reiterated my words to her sisters. After the second warning, she was starting to get upset with them. We were about 10 miles from Alligator Alley and turning around wasn't an option for quite a while. Then from the back seat, it happened. I can't remember who started it. "OK, no Ricky Martin today! You guys blew it!" Got off at the next exit and turned around with three girls crying and apologizing and begging for another chance, although they knew I almost always followed through with my threats (I did let some things slip once in a while!). The lesson is, stop the noise. I am completely aware teenagers = drama. But as adults, unacceptable behavior is just that . . . unacceptable.  With clear boundaries intact, it takes a lot to disturb my peace anymore. I love unconditionally, with mercy, but won't hesitate to pull off the highway and head back home!

In today's Gospel (Luke 6:36-38), Jesus talks about U-Turns:

Jesus said to his disciples: "Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.
Stop judging and you will not be judged. Stop condemning and you will not be condemned. Forgive and you will be forgiven. Give and gifts will be given to you; a good measure, packed together, shaken down, and overflowing, will be poured into your lap. For the measure with which you measure will in return be measured out to you."

In Anne's book Staying in Place, she reminds us of Our God's great mercy and patience:

"People tend to put their past sins in the front seat, blocking their spirituality. In truth, God understands more than anyone why that person committed the sins he or she committed. People might believe that a harsh God has turned away from them but it will never be true. And if human beings judged them for mistakes or for sins, people do not forget that and they believe God is the same. God waits patiently, up the road, pointing to a hope-filled future, waiting to be noticed as a merciful, loving and understanding force for healing and change."

Lay apostles, Jay has an analogy I love when things become chaotic. An American gentleman one day goes to India. He's meeting with an Indian executive on the first floor of a high rise building. Behind the executive is a large glass window through which he observes people outside the building spinning in circles. Finally, he interrupts the executive and asks what the people outside were doing. The executive explains it is part of a religious sect called the Whirling Dervishes. They whirl because it's part of their belief system. The American asked him "how do you deal with them whirling directly outside your building?" He responds, "I don't do anything.  I leave them alone. Don't allow them to disturb me. I allow them to whirl because they are going to do it wherever they are." The moral of the story is even though some people choose to whirl, we can allow them to do so without getting caught up in their vortex of chaos. We can choose to detach with love and mercy. In doing so, we will obtain more clarity, peacefulness, and energy to do His Will.

Thank you, Lord, for getting me through the teenage years and now enjoying my adult daughters and grandchildren! If I would have known grandparenting was this wonderful, I would have been a much calmer mother!

God bless,
Bonnie

Friday, March 15, 2019

Gospel Thoughts Today: It's Only a Flesh Wound!

The Litany of Humility saved me again. Just as my heart and mind were about to “go there,” the words in this beautiful prayer came alive as if Jesus Himself was reciting them in my head. From the desire of being loved, Deliver me, Jesus. From the fear of being forgotten, Deliver me, Jesus. That others may increase and I may decrease, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it. Those three verses get me over the initial sting every time. Most people don’t intentionally hurt us. They become absorbed in themselves and what they want. And that’s ok. We all have the right to choose options benefiting our own needs. But words can hurt. Yet, as the Black Knight says to King Arthur (after Arthur has cut off both his arms) in Monty Python and the Holy Grail, “It’s just a flesh wound!” Lay apostles, insults are only superficial. Remember the Litany of Humility and I promise, over time, you will learn not to take things so personally.

In today's Gospel (Matthew 5:20-26), Jesus reminds us not to hold grudges lest we are judged accordingly by the Father:

Jesus said to his disciples: “I tell you unless your righteousness surpasses that of the scribes and Pharisees, you will not enter into the Kingdom of heaven. You have heard that it was said to your ancestors, 'You shall not kill; and whoever kills will be liable to judgment. But I say to you, whoever is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment . . .'

In Volume Two, The Eucharistic Heart of Jesus, He tells us the ability to forgive is only a prayer away:

"Dear children of this one true God, seek out people who have hurt you, especially in your family, and offer your forgiveness. You don’t need to look for it. Ask Me where it is, dear child, and indeed, I will hand forgiveness to you. If you do this, you will heal. You may say, “Jesus, it is too hard. I cannot do this as I have been hurt too badly.” My child, again I counsel you to practice. Say these words of forgiveness in your head. Then say them aloud. Become used to the sound of them. With My graces, it will not only be possible, it will be easy. Trust Me, who loves you with a genuine love and seeks your peace. I want no barrier of bitterness between Us. I want to heal you. I want to heal families. Do not be afraid. If someone rejects your forgiveness, that is his loss. You will heal, and you will be rewarded. It matters not to Me what a recipient does with a gift you have given. I look only at the fact that you have given when I examine your life."

Lay apostles, I struggle on my path just as much as you. All I can do is continue following Christ through the Bible, Volumes and any other spiritual reading I can get my hands on. The more immersed I become, the closer I feel to the holiness He expects of me.

Thank you, Lord, for the strength to move past hurt quickly and painlessly. The closer I get to You, the easier life becomes.

God bless,
Bonnie


Thursday, March 14, 2019

Gospel Thought Today: Ask, Then Accept His Answer

In today's Gospel (Matthew 7:7-12), the word "ask" caught my eye:

Jesus said to his disciples: "Ask and it will be given to you;
seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives; and the one who seeks, finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. 

Which one of you would hand his son a stone when he asked for a loaf of bread, or a snake when he asked for a fish? If you then, who are wicked, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good things to those who ask him.

"Do to others whatever you would have them do to you. 
This is the law and the prophets."

Jesus makes it so simple to ask Him for what we need. Now, the key is accepting what happens after we ask as His Will, not ours! The Gospel spells it out clearly . . . TRUST in Him and He will provide. It's so easy to fall into the trap of believing God doesn't hear your prayers when they are left unanswered. Alas, here is a question to ponder: Do I calmly go about my life, consciously aware He will guide me in the right direction to answer my prayer? Or, do I anticipate immediate change, becoming impatient with God when it doesn't occur fast enough? Believe in the Gospel. Believe in Jesus. He is in control.

In Anne a lay apostle's book Staying in Place, Jesus asks us to open our hearts and minds to the love of God. For when we do, He is able to give us everything we need and pray for:

"I am extending to you now a gift of calm, along with a gift of certainty. Ask me for these gifts and they shall be yours. You will be glad of your commitment to me. The cost to you is the relinquishment of self-will. The benefit to you is sublime and goes out to the whole world. You are standing in a place of conviction. Talk about conviction. Talk about your certainty of My presence in the world and My plan for the children of the Father who both radiates love and creates love. When you receive His love and offer it to others, it grows and grows and grows. But you must accept love. Perhaps that is another question for you to answer.

Do you believe that you are loved? Contemplate this question often. You are loved infinitely. When others hate you because of Me, the Father’s tenderness for you reflects His tenderness for Me during My passion. Believe this because you will then rejoice at your sufferings. Each opportunity to endure ridicule will be for you an indication of how close you are to Me. I love you. You are a part of Me and without you the body of Christ on Earth is less. Please remain steadfast in My plan for you."

Lay apostles, WE ARE LOVED! Every one of us. Develop the confidence to fully follow the journey Christ has laid out for you and the courage to ask Him for graces in times of weakness or uncertainty. The more I trust Him, and I mean REALLY trust Him with my whole heart, the easier it is to handle the ups and downs I am faced with on a daily basis.

Thank you, Lord, for Your beautiful words above . . . both in the Gospel and Staying in Place. Please be quick to remind me of Your Passion and all You suffered for me so I can get back on track when I have gone a little off course!

God bless,
Bonnie

Tuesday, March 12, 2019

Gospel Thoughts Today: Immersed in Jesus

I am an insomniac.  Have been since my first semester of nursing school many years ago. When I decided to go back to school to pursue a BSN, my youngest daughter was two.  My first semester consisted of the following courses: College Algebra, Marriage and Family, Communications, and the culprit causing my insomnia, Microbiology.  Early in the semester, we were given the task of determining the bacterial species of the organism distributed to each team of two. My partner Brian and I spent hours in the lab using different identification techniques to figure out what the little sucker was.  Our professor was one of the toughest in the program, and also one of the most brilliant men I had ever met.  Both Brian and I wanted to impress him. As the due date for our project approached, my stress level soared. I remember going to bed one night running all the test results through my head on our dear little bacteria sample. We had it down to two. I tried to fall asleep but gram staining and phenotypic differences kept me drifting in and out.  Then, I remember sitting up in the middle of the night yelling "Staphylococcus aureus!"  Brian had come to the same conclusion I discovered the next day.  We proudly handed our brilliant findings to our esteemed professor, feeling we just rocked the Microbiology world!  He took our precious research, smiled, stuck it in a pile, and went back to what he was doing. Not exactly the cheering we expected, but a much-needed lesson in humility!

It's so easy to become distracted in this world.  We have jobs, school and/or families. We have the internet, iPhones, TV, and every other form of entertainment at our beck and call. Don't you wish there was a switch you could flip to turn off the world and focus solely on Jesus?  The closest I have found to flipping a switch is going to Adoration and praying the Rosary. Indeed, I still find myself drifting at times to worldly thoughts, but I get back on track faster when immersed in Him and His Life on earth.

After reading today's Gospel (Matthew 6:7-15), Jesus teaches us it's quality, not quantity when praying:

Jesus said to his disciples: "In praying, do not babble like the pagans, who think that they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them. Your Father knows what you need before you ask him.

This is how you are to pray:

Our Father who art in heaven,
hallowed be thy name,
thy Kingdom come,
thy will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread;
and forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us;
and lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.

If you forgive others their transgressions, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, neither will your Father forgive your transgressions."

In Volume Two, Jesus asks us to rely on Him when having a flurry of thoughts:

“It is not in My nature to confuse, so you must believe that confusion does not come from Me. Fear, anxiety, restlessness do not come from Me. Bitterness, hatred, deceit do not come from Me. Does that mean you will never experience these things? No. It is part of your earthly cross that you will encounter these things. What I am telling you is that you must bring these things to Me. I will then take them from you and you will be free of them. You may encounter these things again, perhaps within the hour. Come back to Me, in your heart, where I remain, and I will take them from you again. You see, My little dear one, your struggles are Mine now. I am stronger, wiser, more able for these things and I want to remove any negative thoughts from you. I seek to heal you and renew you. I can do this if you will let Me. I do not make this promise for now, this moment. I make this a lifetime pledge to you. When you experience a difficulty with your emotions, you bring it right to Me. And that’s where it will end.”

Lay apostles, do you struggle with prayer?  If you do, just pray the Our Father.  As you grow deeper into your relationship with Christ, prayer becomes as easy as talking to your best friend.

Thank you, Lord, for teaching me reliance on You for everything will ease my mind of useless anxiety and distractions.

God bless,
Bonnie



Monday, March 11, 2019

Gospel Thoughts Today: On the Right Side

March 9th was the 12th anniversary of my mother's death. Hard to believe the time has flown by so quickly. My mother suffered many tragedies as a child, inducing a lifetime of mental illness. But there was one thing she was very clear about . . . her heavenly inheritance. She would always say considering she was an orphan and a widow (after my father died), she surely would have the greatest of riches in heaven. I remember thinking she might be spending a bit of time in purgatory before seeing those riches, but nevertheless, I knew she was right. So many seek their inheritance here on earth . . . thinking more money in their bank account means a better life. I've seen and heard about families feuding over an item left behind . . . coveting a material object instead of comforting each other for their loss of a loved one. It's time to let go of material things and start focusing on our heavenly inheritance. I will leave you with this quote from the movie Bella. The main female lead, Nina, says "I've done the research and ten out of ten people die." We are all heading in the same direction toward eternal life . . . we only have this one chance to do it right. The time to start is now.

Today's Gospel (Matthew 25:31-46) couldn't be any clearer, and make my choice any easier . . . I want to be on the right side:

Jesus said to his disciples: “When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit upon his glorious throne, and all the nations will be assembled before him. And he will separate them one from another, as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. He will place the sheep on his right and the goats on his left. Then the king will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father. Inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, a stranger and you welcomed me, naked and you clothed me, ill and you cared for me, in prison and you visited me.’ Then the righteous will answer him and say, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? When did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? When did we see you ill or in prison, and visit you?’ And the king will say to them in reply, ‘Amen, I say to you, whatever you did for one of these least brothers of mine, you did for me.’ Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you accursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the Devil and his angels. For I was hungry and you gave me no food, I was thirsty and you gave me no drink, a stranger and you gave me no welcome, naked and you gave me no clothing, ill and in prison, and you did not care for me.’ Then they will answer and say, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or ill or in prison, and not minister to your needs?’ He will answer them, ‘Amen, I say to you, what you did not do for one of these least ones, you did not do for me.’ And these will go off to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life.”

In Volume Three, God the Father calls us to accept the Truth of our inheritance:

"My little ones feel great joy in communicating with Me. That is the smallest foretaste of heaven. In heaven, you will have instant and constant communication with Me. We will take such joy in each other, dear children. There is a complete absence of want in heaven. You will search in vain for the poor, the troubled, and the sick. Everywhere you look you will view another tableau of peace and serenity. Souls will seek knowledge and find it. Souls will seek wisdom and obtain it. Souls will seek understanding from others and others will instantly understand
them. Such sympathetic listening will take place in heaven, My children. You will know nothing of anxiety for loved ones in heaven because all will be well and all will be decided. There will be no uncertainty in the hearts of My children. Dear ones, this is your destiny. This is your inheritance for which you were created. Your time on earth is a small capsule of time designed to give you the opportunity to obtain your place in heaven. Use the gifts I have given you and you will find no limit to what you can achieve on earth. All heavenly help is available. 'But we cannot see it,' reply My children in their poor little hearts. Dear children, as you have been told, you cannot see the wind, but you see the power of the wind and you see the beautiful things that can be achieved when you harness that power. I am the same."

Lay apostles, we can learn so much from the Gospels! Listen to Jesus. Believe His words. Add the messages in the Volumes and all of Anne a lay apostle's books. The combination will open your eyes to a world you never imagined.

Thank you, Lord, for clarifying in the Gospel today the path leading to my heavenly inheritance. And thank you for sending the messages through Anne to assist where I lack understanding.

God bless,

Bonnie

Friday, March 8, 2019

Gospel Thoughts Today: Right in Front of My Eyes

Grocery shopping is always full of temptations when Lent begins. Chocolate Easter bunnies and their shiny pink foil catch my eye every time I walk into my local grocery store. A few days ago I realized how chocolate is strategically placed throughout the store. On the end cap of the ice cream aisle . . . every kind of chocolate topping one can imagine (so even if you weren't planning on buying ice cream, you now must do so in order to have something to pour your jar of Dove chocolate upon). Just a few feet down from all the bread choices . . . chocolate donut gems. Walking by the bakery . . . chocolate cake, chocolate iced donuts, chocolate chip cookies. And of course, the ultimate chocolate temptation for me . . . beautifully stacked rows on both sides of the check out lane which include my favorite Reese's Peanut Butter cups! I have been going to this grocery store for over 19 years and on any given day I don't even notice it (probably because I have a bag of the Enjoy Now chocolate chips - diary, nut and soy free mind you!). But it got me thinking . . . am I overlooking Christ at times when I should be focused on Him? Just like the chocolate, He is everywhere. In Jay's kiss after a long day at work; in the tight hug my granddaughter gives me as she says "I love you, Mimi . . . you are one of my favorite girls!"; loving words from a friend despite her challenges; kind gestures from a stranger; in the pages of the Volumes. The list is endless. Lent is all about reprogramming our wandering minds to focus on the beauty and graces available in the Gospels.  To fast from behaviors drawing you away from Christ into sin. To grow closer to Jesus, becoming more of Him, less of me.

Todays Gospel (Matthew 9:14-15) is a lesson in spending as much time as you can with Christ:

The disciples of John approached Jesus and said, “Why do we and the Pharisees fast much, but your disciples do not fast?” Jesus answered them, “Can the wedding guests mourn as long as the bridegroom is with them? The days will come when the bridegroom is taken away from them, and then they will fast.”

In Volume Seven, St. Christopher supplies us with a unique perspective on fasting:

"Fasting is a good way to let your body understand that it is not in charge. When you fast you deny your body and nourish your soul. Your soul grows strong and confident during these periods. The enemy becomes weak and ineffectual in your life if you are fasting. Can I ask that you take two days in each week and give up a little something that your body would like to have? You do not have to begin with a strict fast and if you are not used to fasting I do not encourage you to do so. Begin small, with little sacrifices. Keep busy and do not think about your body. Think about Jesus, heaven, our beautiful Blessed Mother, angels, and what you would like to discuss with us, your heavenly friends, when you arrive here. Think of the questions you have for Jesus. Think of what you would like to learn about when you arrive in heaven. Think about the beauty of participating in a worldwide mission of mercy. That is what you are doing, you know. You have become part of Christ’s team and we are working together to save many souls before the changes come."

Lay apostles, don't you LOVE the quote above from St. Christopher? Contemplating how fasting strengthens our soul and weakens the enemy is powerful.  We can either blow it off as something unimportant or, we can begin to use fasting to eradicate the enemy from our lives. Which do you choose?

Thank you, Lord, for Your assistance in the grocery store temptations! Please help me to remember, each time I'm tempted, to focus on You, not something as insignificant as a little chocolate!

God bless,
Bonnie


Thursday, March 7, 2019

Gospel Thoughts Today: Lent - The Journey Has Begun

It was a rush to get to Ash Wednesday Mass last night. Yesterday was a "Mimi" day (as the grandkids so lovingly call it!) filled with love, booboos and drawing a chalk road down our very long driveway for my grandson to navigate with a bike. Once Jay and Whitney each arrived at the house, a quick dinner was served, then out the door to Mass by 5:45pm. We arrived at the church a few minutes late and made our way along the back to a fairly empty pew. Behind us sat parents with two small children (both looked to be under 2 years old) who were non-stop crying, talking (loud!) or laughing. My grandson was sitting next to me (6 1/2 years old) and kept looking back at the noisy children. He leaned over to me and said, "Mimi, I can't stand babies!" The more noise projected, the more irritated Colt became. Finally, after his protests were becoming louder, I leaned over and told him he was just as noisy when he was their age! He stared at me for a few seconds as if contemplating what I said, then grabbed the hymnal to occupy himself by finding the next song in the queue. My sweet bubba! At one point, he was leaning up against me as we stood for prayer and I placed my hand over his outside ear to block any insulting sounds coming from behind!

This experience from last night and when reading today's Gospel, I began thinking about my Lenten journey. Where I have been lax in carrying my crosses, I will be much stronger. I will tolerate distractions with prayer instead of protests (no promises of perfection here!). And, I pray I can help my grandson to see Christ in everyone, including noisy babies!

In today's Gospel (Luke 9:22-25), Jesus tells us to take up our crosses . . . with no fear:

Jesus said to his disciples: “The Son of Man must suffer greatly and be rejected by the elders, the chief priests, and the scribes, and be killed and on the third day be raised.”

Then he said to all, “If anyone wishes to come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it. What profit is there for one to gain the whole world yet lose or forfeit himself?”

In Volume Five, Jesus the Redeemer is asking us to repent now, for HIs Mercy is abundant:

"Any person who makes an act of sorrow and contrition for his sins will know Me instantaneously and be the recipient of My Light and guidance. I am a God of mercy, first and foremost, but I am also a God of justice. My justice, tendered with mercy, will flow into your world. Be joyful, followers of heaven, for your prayer will be answered and your souls liberated."

Lay apostles, where is your Lenten journey beginning this year? What are you focusing on? For me, there are a few things:

1. Pray the Rosary every day.
2. Take time to meditate with Contemplative Prayer.
3. Less time watching TV; more time reading.

Pray for me to achieve the above as I will be praying for your success!

Thank you, Lord, for allowing me to begin my Lenten journey yet another year. Please grant me the graces and persistence to spend more time in the prayer and reflection needed to lead to my eternity with You.

God bless,
Bonnie

Tuesday, March 5, 2019

Gospel Thoughts Today: Giving Up Control

Seven years ago I could never have imagined my life today. Prior to meeting my husband Jay, I tried to stay focused on Jesus and His will for me after my divorce. The more I gave up control to Christ, the more peaceful I became. The more I strived to climb the mountain of holiness, the more intimate my relationship with Him became. I finally reached the point of no return . . . no amount of criticism could take the calm out of my heart. No situation could bring back the old control freak Bonnie (well, there have been instances causing my ire to percolate!). When I immerse myself in the Sacred Heart of Jesus, I am completely protected. Writing this blog for Him, putting into practice what He tells us in Scripture and in the messages through Anne . . .  prepared me to be the woman I needed to be that day I met Jay, almost seven years ago. And, every day we are together is one more day to give thanks and praise. Everything for His Glory!

Today's Gospel (Mark 10:28-31), Jesus tells us to live for Him while we are on this earth:

Peter began to say to Jesus, ‘We have given up everything and followed you.” Jesus said, “Amen, I say to you, there is no one who has given up house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or lands for my sake and for the sake of the Gospel who will not receive a hundred times more now in this present age: houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and lands, with persecutions, and eternal life in the age to come. But many that are first will be last, and the last will be first.”

In Anne a lay apostle's book Climbing the Mountain, she encourages us to keep focused on climbing:

"We serve where Christ has placed us, some in obscurity, others in the eyes of the world. We accept our crosses and carry them with the certainty that Jesus draws great graces from our cooperation and uses these graces for the conversion of sinners and the good of the Kingdom. Indeed, the renewal is being fueled by the small daily sacrifice and service of each lay apostle. Consider a mountain. On that mountain is a path that has been marked out carefully for each of us by Jesus. Jesus is at the top. The world is at the bottom. If we get on that path and begin to climb, we will reach Jesus. We climb the mountain through our daily “yes” to Jesus. People say that they do not know the will of God, but God will not hide His will. We must spend time in silence and ask Jesus and He will tell us where our path lies on this mountain of holiness. Most of us need look no further than to our vocations. Our path is usually marked out with the daily duties of these vocations and it is always best to begin at that point. In this time of transition, Jesus needs souls to find their path and start climbing. The higher we climb, the more grace and light Jesus flows through us into this world and the greater the number of souls saved. We praise God for the way He allows us to participate in this renewal."

Lay apostles, we aren't guaranteed tomorrow. Sometimes life seems to be going in one direction and takes a complete U-turn when you least expect it. We never know what He has in store for us right around the corner . . . trust Him and thank Him for everything going on in your life. And He will take you to new vistas you never dreamed possible.

Thank you, Lord, for the grace of love with Jay. I never imagined this was in store for me. I'm so thankful I let You take control!

God bless,
Bonnie


Monday, March 4, 2019

Gospel Thoughts Today: Sacrifice - Willing or Unwilling?

Our U.S. military. Our ICE/Border Patrol. Our men/women in blue. They are all shining examples of what we, as Christians, must bravely do for Christ on a daily basis . . . sacrifice. Sacrifice time, money, and even death. As lay apostles, we are an army rising up to prepare the world for the return of Our King. Read about the lives of the saints. We don't know what Jesus has in store for us, but whatever it is, I will fight to the end for Him. I am willing.

In today's Gospel (Mark 10:17-27), Jesus answers bluntly to a young man desiring to follow Him. Sometimes we are not prepared for the sacrifice it takes:

As Jesus was setting out on a journey, a man ran up, knelt down before him, and asked him, “Good teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?” Jesus answered him, “Why do you call me good? No one is good but God alone. You know the commandments: You shall not kill; you shall not commit adultery; you shall not steal; you shall not bear false witness; you shall not defraud; honor your father and your mother.” He replied and said to him, “Teacher, all of these I have observed from my youth.”  Jesus, looking at him, loved him and said to him, “You are lacking in one thing. Go, sell what you have, and give to the poor and you will have treasure in heaven; then come, follow me.” At that statement, his face fell,  and he went away sad, for he had many possessions.

Jesus looked around and said to his disciples, “How hard it is for those who have wealth to enter the Kingdom of God!” The disciples were amazed at his words. So Jesus again said to them in reply, “Children, how hard it is to enter the Kingdom of God! It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for one who is rich to enter the Kingdom of God.” They were exceedingly astonished and said among themselves, “Then who can be saved?” Jesus looked at them and said, “For men it is impossible, but not for God. All things are possible for God.”

In the booklet Heaven Speaks to Those Who Suffer from Financial Need, St. Augustine tells us despite where we are financially, we must be thankful for what we have and use it for His Glory:

"Dear brothers and sisters, we in heaven remember being on earth. We remember having great wants and suffering from poverty. Some of God’s saints were wealthy on earth, of course, but many were not. The time in which you live is a time of great abundance for some. It would make God happy if this abundance were shared so that few experienced hunger that resulted in disease and death. There will always be poor people, it is true, but this fact does not excuse anyone from failing to assist them. If you are wealthy, you may say, “What can I do?” I will answer you today. Give. Give often and give more. Work for others with your power and influence. Spread holy principles of responsible use of material and financial wealth. Also, deprive yourself of something. Sacrifice. Perhaps you are in a situation where you were accustomed to a high standard of living and now you find that you have had to reduce your standard. Praise God for this. Rejoice because in this circumstance you will learn many things. You will learn to trust God. You will learn to have compassion for others. You will learn that not everything has to do with bodily comfort."

Lay apostles, whether you have money in the bank or live paycheck to paycheck, remember spiritual wealth is what we strive for . . . not a bigger house, a cooler car or designer clothes. Take the advice of St. Augustine above . . . give and serve others.

Thank you, Lord, for opportunities to grow in faith and love of others. Help me to be aware of where you need me to give and serve at all times.

God bless,
Bonnie