Wasting time

Time is bittersweet. So much possibility in the future, and pieces of regret from the past. As my youngest daughter pulled out of the driveway after being home from college for almost two weeks, I was overwhelmed with how fast time flies. And, time lost with my girls due to my drive to be successful. During those years, I was focused on what I wanted to achieve. How I would give the girls a better life than I had. I didn't consult Jesus once. The noise in my head was so loud with my own desires, Jesus could barely get a word in edgewise. In the Heaven Speaks About Stress booklet, Jesus teaches us how to de-stress our lives by focusing on His desires for us, not multi-tasking with unnecessary thoughts and actions of our own:

"My children, why do you hurry so? Why do you feel you must move so quickly through your days? This is not the way I intended the children of God to live. You may tell Me that you have many things to do. I respond to you by saying that you are trying to do too much. You will not be holy if you move so quickly. I want My beloved apostles to move more slowly and thoughtfully through their days. I want you to make decisions on what I am asking you to do and what you are busying yourself with that is not from Me. I want your way of life to change and I am asking you to make this change now. In the next week, think about each activity and decide, with Me, if it is something I want you to do or something you want to do. My dearest apostles, I ask that you begin to remove activities that do not further My will."

I see my drive for success in each one of my daughters. The biggest difference between them and me at their age is an intimate relationship with Jesus because of this mission. This week, take some time to sit in silence with Jesus, especially if you are overwhelmed with multi-tasking. The more time you spend in silence, the easier it is to hear Him.

Thank you, Lord, for providing me with the tools and direction I need on a daily basis. I know how hard it is to quiet the noise in my head, so please continue to prompt me to slow down and listen to You!

God bless,

Bonnie

Admitting mistakes

Boy do I hate it when I screw up! Especially when making the mistake and realizing, in the moment, the potential consequences of my actions. Lies are told to protect yourself from ridicule by those potentially hurt by your temporary weakness. The last thing you want is for anyone to know you are fallible. But, we all are. We all screw up. Sometimes minutely, sometimes on a grander scale. We see our weakness as something to be ashamed of, to hide from the world. Jesus wants us to live in humility for Him. To take the ridicule and angst the world can throw at us . . . all for Him and His Passion (Agony in the Garden, Scourging at the Pillar, Crowning of Thorns, Carrying the Cross, and the Crucifixion). In Anne a lay apostle's book Whispers from the Cross, she describes how Jesus wants us to accept our weakness and be brave in admitting our mistakes.

"Admissions of mistakes are imperative for each of us, that is, unless we never make mistakes. In the same way, false admissions and false self-examination is as distasteful as everything false and is as putrid as all deceit. There is nothing more off-putting than one who claims to be self-examining when in fact he is simply putting on a show of self-examining. It is not good to witness someone who lays a claim to small mistakes to distract from sinister emotions and large acts of malice. Such falseness is an attempt to hold up a mask of humility which conceals writhing and angry pride. The word haughty comes to mind. With this we will always see rage. The one who tries to tear the mask aside will face an outpouring of hatred that is chilling but God protects."

I am ready to tear the mask aside and face anything the world wants to throw at me. Let's all strive for transparency and honestly admit our mistakes. God will protect us through it all.

Thank you, Lord, for providing the grace of bravery in admission of my blunders when they occur (I will need ALOT of bravery, Lord!). You are guarding me from harm, and I know I can survive anything.

God bless,

Bonnie

Betrayal

Betrayal. It can take your breath away. It can cause your mind, your heart, your soul to feel bruised. Temptation to invoke justice is usually my first reaction. Something to ease the pain. But, in Anne a lay apostle's new book Whispers from the Cross, she addresses an alternative to lashing out:

"In the course of each life, we can expect to be betrayed. We can expect others to turn against us and be false, even perhaps while they pretend to be our friends. Falseness hurts the most. A proclaimed enemy at least allows us to be on guard. When one pretends to be a friend, we allow love to flow through us to them. We give. Our guard is down. When this love is exploited and it is found that person has abused love, one's trust can be badly shaken. Such hurt. The only place to take it is to the foot of the Crucified Christ. That is the only place where it will make sense. And, when we deliver this hurt to Jesus, He is able to console us and guide us through the temptations that accompany betrayal. Now, there can be a grave temptation to slap back. This is a grave temptation for many reasons, the first and most being that we will do further injury to God's plan if we behave like God's enemy."

As difficult as it is to step back from the initial insult, I don't want to interfere with God's plan for me. By withholding my own poisonous darts, I rely more on Jesus' consolation. Grant it, I am human and very flawed. But, in viewing attacks and suffering as challenges to increased holiness, somehow the wound heals at an accelerated pace. Fight bitterness. Fight revenge. Love more. Forgive faster.

Thank you, Lord, for being patient with my human flaws. Continue to help me rebound faster from betrayal, running to you always for consolation.

God bless,

Bonnie

Letting go

Have you ever wanted something or someone so desperately you evade all the obvious warning sirens going off in your brain? I tend to quiet the cautionary alarms with thoughts of what could be. I cling to moments which created the desire, dismissing harmful side effects. Sooner or later, your fantasy of bliss begins to chip away pieces of your soul.

"We must accept, believe, and trust that Jesus supports the soul as it is being filled and stretched to a seemingly unbearable limit. And then, the Lord Himself, at His pleasure and in accordance with His holy plan, opens a valve and love begins to flow out to others, on and on, further and further into the world, creating the most delightful and inexplicable divine ripple effect." Anne, a lay apostle, Lessons in Love, page 91.

The lesson is, continue to love with all my heart. Bad things happen. I can either choose to let it bring me down or just let go and move on. I know Jesus is in control. It has taken me a while, but the sirens don't go off for very long anymore. I ask for what I want from Him, and if I don't get it, I know He is protecting me from a debilitating side effect.

Thank you, Lord, for being my cure for every ill. No one makes me feel better faster than You!

God bless,

Bonnie

The Grace to Love Completely

Happy New Year!!! I can hardly believe it's 2012. Seems like just yesterday my oldest daughter told me I was going to be a grandma for the first time and now my grandson is going to be here in a little over 3 months!

Reflecting back on 2011, it was a year of loss, disappointment, bad decisions, good choices, love, peace and lessons learned. But isn't life always like that? Situations can be devastating, even disastrous to my ego, my soul, my physical being. Just when I'm about to wallow is self-pity, Jesus steps in to pull me out of the muck. He picks me up, dusts me off, and redirects me back to following His path, not mine. If I continually stay focused on Jesus, my choices become His choices, which ultimately lead me to greater holiness.

The January Monthly Message was on target, as usual!

January 1, 2012

Jesus

"May the peace of heaven continually surround each of my beloved apostles. My friends, there are times when the peace of heaven must pursue you, because, despite its best efforts, you elude peace. My peace then follows you, waiting for you to pause long enough to accept it. When you bring yourself into My presence, then My peace can absorb you and saturate you so that where you go, it can follow. If you are alert to Me, you will see that others are blessed by Me through you. Dear apostles, please accept that this is happening and be reverent about what I am seeking to do. Are you with Me in this effort of renewal? Do you seriously consider that I am determined to bring light to others through you? If you will accept this more fully, I can work more freely. If you move too quickly through your days, convinced that you are not achieving as many actions and tasks as you would like, then you may be missing what is obvious to heaven, that is, that you are surrounded by grace and protected by light. When you rest into this reality, you will see how effectively I am serving the world through you. Truly, I am loving people and comforting them through your soul because each day, Heaven moves into the world through the souls of those who are willing to serve. Allow Me please, to continue, and allow Me please, to sustain you personally. It is not My plan that you become dispirited and hopeless. It is My plan that if you suffer, you suffer peacefully, confident about My presence in your cross. I want you to work calmly, confident of My effectiveness in your work. You must be brave enough to love completely, confident of the benefit the world feels because of your decision to serve Me in whatever place you have found yourself on each day. Rejoice, dear apostles. Look forward with Me to greater holiness. I will protect My plan for you, but you must make a decision to accept heaven's peace."

Thank you, Lord, for pursuing me with Your Peace! Please continue to supply me with the graces needed to be brave and love completely!

God bless,

Bonnie

Christmas shopping

I don't know if it's just me, but do you hear people making a point of saying Merry Christmas to employees told to say Happy Holidays? I refuse to make light of what Christmas really is by saying Happy Holidays. Luke 2:7 tells us:

"She gave birth to her first-born Son and wrapped Him in swaddling clothes and laid Him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the place where travelers lodged."

Let's bring back the true spirit of Christmas and take back our beloved Christian holiday, the birth of our Savior.

Have a blessed Christmas and New Year!

Thank you, Lord, for giving me the gift of faith. Best present ever!

God bless,

Bonnie

Gumption

The Holiday is one of my favorite movies. I am always a sucker for love stories. But watching it last night, I could really identify with Kate Winslet's character. She is in love with a man who says and does all the right things in her mind. She brushes off and makes excuses for his bad behavior. Then out of the blue finds out he is engaged to another woman! A great line from this movie is,

"He let you go. This is not a hard one to figure out. Iris, in the movies we have leading ladies and we have the best friend. You, I can tell, are a leading lady, but for some reason you are behaving like the best friend."

Loneliness is difficult and we tend to accept bad behavior to feel connected to someone romantically. We all want to be loved, and when we don't have a significant other to provide that love, we tend to lower our expectations. But, we don't have to!!! There is one Man who will never let us down and love us unconditionally . . . Jesus! In Volume One, Jesus tells us:

"I am here, dear soul. You need only look into your heart. I ache for you, for your pain, for your loneliness, for your isolation. Each soul feels alone at times and understands that human consolation is empty. They must seek spiritual or heavenly consolation. If you feel a stirring inside, it is your soul, seeking Me. Answer your soul, My dear lost one, for you will find Me waiting and I will solve all of your problems. I can work in you in miraculous ways if only you will allow Me. You have sought other consolations, which have disappointed you. Now try Me. I am here. I love you. I await you."

Kate Winslet's character develops what they call gumption. She begins to value herself and her eyes are opened. We all need to be the Leading Ladies (or Men) of our own life. We will always have a spiritual partner in Jesus despite our marital status. Let's live in His Light and know we are loved despite our faults.

Lord, thank you for reminding me I am valuable and worth loving. My gumption is now restored!

God bless,

Bonnie

Accepting Hardship

Reality can be glorious! And, it can really suck . . .

Discovering the truth can be so painful at times, it actually causes physical suffering. And, it detracts from all the blessings going on around you. Answered prayers which are so much more important than the uncovered lie seem to be temporarily forgotten. The initial sting, for a short time, impacts how you perceive yourself and your gullibility. After a period of beating yourself up for being fooled, if you let Him, Jesus will step in to put the salve on your gaping wound:

I want you to tell yourself that your hardship and suffering is an opportunity to give something to God the Father and that is your loyalty and faith. Say often, “I trust you, God. I offer you my pain in the spirit of acceptance and I will serve you in every circumstance.” Volume Four, Jesus the King, January 20, 2004

Thank you, Lord, for bringing me around so quickly now, the sting doesn't consume my thoughts of self-worth for very long.

God bless,

Bonnie

Feast of the Immaculate Conception

Today we celebrate the Solemnity of The Immaculate Conception of the Blessed Virgin Mary. When I pray the Joyful Mysteries of the Rosary, which begins with the angel Gabriel visiting Mary to let her know she will give birth to the Son of God, I always think about her initial reaction. Was she scared? Worried what others would think about her becoming pregnant when she and Joseph weren't married yet? Yes, she was scared and troubled by what the angel told her. Then the angel said to her, "Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God. Behold, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you shall name him Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High . . ." How did she respond after she was given the news as to how this was going to happen? Mary said, "Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord. May it be done to me according to your word." (Luke 1:26-38)

She said yes. And didn't look back. No regrets. Obeyed God. Ready for whatever life threw at her. She didn't try to control the situation saying, "Hey wait a minute, Gabriel. Can't Joseph and I get married first?" Her steadfast faith is worth striving for.

In Volume Two, Mary provides motherly comfort and advice:

"Dearest children, nestled in my Immaculate Heart, you must live your lives joyfully. Jesus, my beloved Son, has given you everything you need to become true servants. In order to have peace on this earth, you must serve Him, who is all light, all goodness. I am His mother. I am also your mother. Call on me often, little children of this world. I have helped many souls reach heaven and I will help you. Confide your fears to me and I will console you. A motherly heart understands each weakness in her children and can help her children overcome habits that distract them from their union with God."

Thank you, Lord, for blessing me with a heavenly Mother who keeps constant vigil over me and all her children. Help me to trust in You as Mary did.

God bless,

Bonnie

A Difficult Request From Our Lord . . . Humility

Humility. What does it really mean? Merriam-Webster dictionary says the definition of humble is not proud or haughty; not arrogant or assertive; reflecting, expressing or offered in a spirit of deference or submission. This is a hard one for me. It's the submission part I struggle with . . . keeping my mouth shut and not reacting to difficult situations or people. In Volume Seven, St. Gertrude gives us this advice about humility:

"If you spend time with Christ each day you will remain humble. Many convert to Christ and then feel they are above all of mankind. They think they have reached sainthood merely by their altered path. I assure you, little servants, it is through the ascent that you achieve sainthood. The higher you climb, the more humble you will become. Do not hold yourself above anyone, ever. You will not make friends for Christ this way. You will confirm the enemy’s propaganda that Christians hold themselves above others. True Christians, of course, do not. You will know these things by your Spirit, but I, Gertrude, am giving you advance warning of a snare that could trip you up. Practice humility. The battle is won in the silence of your soul, my dearest friend."

The Litany of Humility is a prayer I pray every morning. The first time you read this you may think, "why would I pray this?" I promise, the more you read it, the more sense it makes and the easier difficulties and disappointment are.

Litany of Humility

O Jesus, meek and humble of heart, Hear me.

From the desire of being esteemed,

Deliver me, Jesus.

From the desire of being loved…

From the desire of being extolled…

From the desire of being honored…

From the desire of being praised…

From the desire of being preferred to others…

From the desire of being consulted…

From the desire of being approved…

From the fear of being humiliated…

From the fear of being despised…

From the fear of suffering rebukes…

From the fear of being calumniated…

From the fear of being forgotten…

From the fear of being ridiculed…

From the fear of being wronged…

From the fear of being suspected…

That others may be loved more than I,

Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.

That others may be esteemed more than I…

That, in the opinion of the world, others may increase

and I may decrease…

That others may be chosen and I set aside…

That others may be praised and I unnoticed…

That others may be preferred to me in everything…

That others may become holier than I,

provided that I may become as holy as I should…

Thank you, Lord, for showing me what true humility looks like. As prayed in the Litany of Humility, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.

God bless,

Bonnie

Lord, I need patience NOW, please . . .

When I want something, whether it be person, place, animal, thing, or even heavenly virtues, I want it now. I will do whatever it takes to achieve my goal morally and ethically, but anything less then the speed of light is just not good enough. Then Jesus steps in and reminds me EVERYTHING is in His time, not mine. As much as I like to think I can control my environment, I can't. Searching the Volumes for some heavenly wisdom, I found the following regarding patience.

Volume One, Thoughts on Spirituality, Jesus

"My little chosen souls of this day have a hard time with both suffering and patience. Remember, My time is perfect. If we were to change over and do things according to your desires, it would not be My plan but yours. Remember how your life felt without Me, little soul, and renew your pledge to serve Me, not yourself. My time is perfect. All will occur as it should, but I need souls to convert and be faithful now."

I am a recovering control freak. I admit it openly. And, as with all those recovering from some form of addiction, it takes time to heal. Remember Jesus has an abundance of patience and welcomes us with open arms any time.

Thank you, Lord, for all the hiccups you have placed in my life. I am a slow learner when it comes to patience, but my eyes are finally opening.

God bless,

Bonnie

December 1st Monthly Message from Jesus through Anne, a lay apostle

"Dear apostles, it is with hope that I come to you today, speaking these words to your heart. I am hoping that the plans I have for your life will come to fruition. Do I require that you be powerful? Important? Do I need you to be people of great wealth or great influence in the eyes of the world? Will My plan be threatened by your imperfection or your difficulty maintaining holiness in every moment? Do I need only angels? Or do I need apostles of good will serving exactly where I have placed them? You were created to persevere and even flourish with limited understanding of all that is happening around you and through you. Yes, dear apostles, I am filled with hope. I am hoping that you accept My love. I am hoping that you allow Me to bring you healing, daily. I am hoping that through you I can love and heal others whom you will encounter in your daily experience. I bring you so many gifts of knowing Me, both directly and indirectly. Sometimes, I bring these gifts directly into your soul. Sometimes I send these gifts to you through the soul of another. I am saying that sometimes you will be the recipient of My gifts and sometimes you will be the one delivering My gifts. We are so united, you and I. We are together now and when you are finished on earth you will understand how closely I worked with you. You will be so happy when you understand the extent to which I blessed others through you. Dear friends, I come at Christmas as an infant in a manger and you rejoice. Truly, understand, that each time you cooperate with Me in your day, you are bringing Me into the world. When you see how others were blessed through your fidelity, you will understand the fullness of rejoicing. Yes, today, your Infant King comes to you with heavenly hope. Beloved apostles, I instruct you to bring this hope to others, regardless of the circumstances around you."

The task of bringing hope to others despite personal circumstances can be daunting. At times I think, 'What about me? What about my hope?' Thank Jesus within minutes of wallowing in my selfishness, I am reminded of how giving hope to others draws me closer to Him. The more I focus on loving others, the lighter my crosses feel. We live in an egocentric society. Today, let's make it a point to give someone love and hope with a kind gesture, a smile, a compliment. Let's shift the focus from what we want to what Jesus asks of us as lay apostles.

Thank you, Lord, for accepting all my imperfections. Grant me the ability to see what You see in others ready to provide hope at a moment's notice.

God bless,

Bonnie

Back on track

Tumultuous. This word best describes the last year of my life. Divorce, death of my beloved dog Disney, a new job, and news I was going to be a grandma for the first time (the best news ever!). Major life changes . . . bad and good. The words of Jesus in the Volumes and Monthly Messages provided comfort and the perseverance to stay focused on the most important thing . . . pleasing our Lord. The April 1, 2011 Monthly Message particularly gave me strength:

April 1, 2011

Jesus

"Dearest apostles, you are serving Me despite trials and temptations. That is why you are called apostles, because you follow Me and serve Me. No life is easy or without strife, and I know, dear apostles, that you experience your share of difficulty. These difficulties are important for you because through the suffering of them you gain mastery over yourself. When you conquer a difficulty, using the holiness you have received from Me, you become stronger spiritually and then when the next difficulty comes, you both view it differently and treat it differently. You view it as expected, because your experience tells you that in life in general, and service to Me specifically, will include these difficulties. You treat it differently because you know that I am with you today as I have been with you in the past. Additionally, you understand that all difficulty passes. What is it that remains, dear apostles, when the difficulty passes? Your commitment to Me remains and the work I will for you remains. You are not overcome and I need your help. And so we go on, Jesus and His apostles. The work continues and comfort and salvation are brought to God's children. Be at peace, dear friends. I am with you and I am factoring in your presence as I plan for the advancement of the Renewal."

Jesus understands our trials and temptations. He experienced it Himself on earth. He triumphed over evil, the same evil you and I face every day as followers of Christ. He knows our weaknesses and that we may fail once in a while. But, He promises He is by our side all the way, loving and forgiving us through thick and thin. Keep your eyes looking toward heaven, lay apostles, as it will make us stronger Christians, more compassionate, less judgmental, creating mastery over ourselves and how we behave.

Thank you, Lord, for continuing to love me despite my failures. Help me to remember Your Presence during my trials and temptations.

God bless,

Bonnie (future grammy of Connor!)

Heavy crosses

The cross of my mother's mental illness didn't lighten with her passing. It just got replaced. I really thought I paid my dues and life would be easier after her death. But, didn't Jesus pay the ultimate dues when He died for us? For me, Bonnie, in 2010? He knew what I needed to survive in the long run . . . the love, support, and kindness of three incredible young women, my daughters. I have many weaknesses, I admit it. And I know He has given me a huge gift. My daughters are all healthy, in love, successful in their chosen careers, and lovers of Jesus Christ. If everything were to fall apart around me, I know the four of us will still be standing, holding on tight to each other. This is what makes carrying some pretty heavy crosses easier. When the weight of a cross is almost more than I can bare, I get a phone call, an email, or a note on my Facebook page from one of my girls. Jesus is always ready to lighten my load when I ask. I just need to remember to ask Him before I'm on my knees.

Thank you, Lord, for knowing me so well and loving me so much. I promise to consult You in everything, as long as you remind me!

God bless,

Bonnie

Visit to Seattle lay apostle prayer group

My trip to Seattle last week included a “Meet and Greet” with the Everett, WA lay apostle prayer group. Richard, the group leader, invited my husband and I for a light meal and fellowship at his home. I had spoken to Richard several times on the phone, hearing his love for Christ and this apostolate radiate from his voice. It was no different in person. Prior to meeting with the group, I had been editing Heavenly Healing for the next printing with Jane Miller (DFOT). The section we were editing included the testimony of Yolanda T. from the state of Washington. I sent Yolanda an email asking how close she was to Seattle and invited her to join us at Richard’s. After several emails back and forth, we discovered that Yolanda attended the same church as Richard and had been wanting to join a lay apostle prayer group in her area. And, when I contacted Richard about Yolanda joining us, he knew exactly who she was and said she was one of his prayer warriors. Our Lord is at work here, uniting His lay apostles to climb the mountain together, picking up strength in each step we take.

“Consider a mountain. On that mountain is a path that has been marked out carefully for each of us by Jesus. Jesus is at the top. The world is at the bottom. If we get on that path and begin to climb, we will reach Jesus. We climb the mountain through our daily ‘yes’ to Jesus.” Climbing the Mountain, Page 5, Anne, a lay apostle

Thank you, Lord, for placing lay apostles in my life. With each person I meet, my love for You and Your mercy deepens more than I could have ever imagined.

God bless,

Bonnie

March for Life, Washington, DC 2010

There are two words that come to mind when I think about participating in the March for Life January 22, 2010 in Washington, D.C....humility and freedom. My oldest daughter Mallorie joined me in the march. She works and goes to grad school in D.C., close to the White House at The Institute of World Politics. With my fully stocked backpack (extra sweaters, a scarf, etc.), we headed for the metro, along with one of the interns, Pawel. The forecast was dreary...high in the 40's with a chance of rain. Not exactly the weather this Floridian wants to be exposed to. Determined not to be a whiner, and comfy with my Wellies on, I was ready to brave the elements.

As we approached the crowds, some young people were handing out signs to carry once the march had started. So, Pawel and I each took one. They were two sided. One side said, "Women Do Regret Abortion" and the other, "Men Regret Lost Fatherhood." Seeing so many young people was overwhelming. (I read recently there were over 400,000 people marching that day.) A large group of women carrying signs that read, "I Regret My Abortion" made a significant impact on me. The bravery to carry that sign, announcing to the world one of the worst choices you made in your life, was humbling. Yet, their faces beamed of Christ's love and forgiveness.

Mallorie had been asked to find a friend of the Institute, the Lepanto Foundation, who had traveled here from Rome, Italy to participate in the march. After searching through the massive crowds, we saw their banner and made our way over to them. A woman representing the Foundation, Virginia, greeted us with a big smile.

The march was very peaceful with some groups singing hymns and others chanting "Pro-Life." To be in the middle of it all is an experience I will never forget and will always make an effort to participate in every chance I get. (I just pray for the ability to withstand the cold!!). I felt I was among friends. And, I was so proud of Mallorie for her commitment to Christ and her faith. I just wish the media would have portrayed the march as it truly was - beaming with so many young people, old people, women, and men who care about saving lives.

Thank you, Lord, for giving me the opportunity to experience what true humility feels like. I am forever grateful.

God bless,

Bonnie

Publication of Heavenly Healing

I am truly humbled with graces the Lord has so mercifully given to me despite mistakes I've made in this journey called life. As I sit today, contemplating something introspective to write, I find myself reflecting on my past. Immediately my thoughts turn to caring for my parents as each departed this earth, going Home to where they belong. At the time, my own wants and desires were on the back burner. But, it was MY choice to delay or even give thought to what I needed or aspired to in life. All I honestly cared about were: surviving each day with my sanity in check; hoping my daughters understood the importance of honoring mother and father; making sure each parent felt loved and cared for; and thankful that my sister Diane agreed to deal with vomiting as long as I dealt with bowel movements! Remembering the hard times makes where I am now seem almost...miraculous. I think if I would have known four years ago what my life would be like now, as an author, I wouldn't be as appreciative or humble as I feel now. But all my "adventures" that led up to this moment make sense. I wouldn't be who I am today were it not for the profuse craziness over the last 47 years. And for every person and every experience in the past, present and future, I thank the Lord for His abundant blessings. If He asked, I would do it all over again.

Thank you, Lord, for seeing my potential and making me live up to it on a daily basis.

God bless,

Bonnie

Another wedding!

December 19, 2009, my beautiful daughter Whitney married the love of her life, Kevin May. They have been together for six years and both finished grad school this past May, moving to Ft. Myers for employment. Which, I must say, is where I live! It has been such a joy to see the love they have for each other through thick and thin, especially over the last five months while living so close. I had the privilege of escorting my daughter down the aisle. The look on her face was enchanting. I could hardly take my eyes off her as we walked down the aisle to Ave Maria. When we began our walk to her future husband, I could see the look on his face from across the room. Sheer joy, excitement, and anticipation of marrying the woman he calls his MOO (my one and only!). As I kissed my daughter's cheek, telling her I loved her, my soon to be son-in-law came to take her hand. But before he escorted her off to a whole new life, he hugged me and said he loved me, and I him. I am thankful every day for the husbands God has sent for my two oldest daughters (of which both are named Kevin!). I couldn't have handpicked better men to love and cherish them. I pray every day for my youngest Taylor to have the same love as her sisters. And I think that young man has surfaced, both starting to fall in love. All I ask is a year off from weddings (my oldest got married last year!) and a college degree in her hand! But if he is the one, he is another man I would be proud to call my son-in-law! (Boy, I sure hope he doesn't read my blog! Taylor would shoot me!).

Thank you, Lord, for the beauty and love I see in my daughters' eyes and the eyes of the men they love. You are so good to me!

God bless,

Bonnie

Heavenly Healing

I can hardly believe Heavenly Healing is going to be a reality December 28th! The support I have received from DFOT, lay apostles and my family is humbling. One of the biggest blessings through all of this is my publisher, Jim Gilboy and CMJ Marian Publishers. Jim is one of the kindest, God-loving men I have ever met. I feel protected by him. How many authors can say that about their publisher? I know he has my best interest at heart. Thank you, Jim, for being placed directly in my life by Our Lord and Savior to publish this book of love and hope. Heavenly Healing can be pre-ordered on CMJ's website: cmjbooks.com.

With love,

Bonnie

Temptations

As much as I want to believe I can resist temptation through my faith and love of Jesus, I am only a weak human being. But Lucifer (a very devout Catholic man told me to never call him satan or the devil as Lucifer is his angelic name and he hates to hear it!) knows when we are vulnerable and seeks to distract us with temptation at any given moment. A few months ago, I found myself going down a path that would only lead to mortal sin. Although I kept praying the Rosary every day, going to daily Mass, and reading from the Volumes, my heart was being pulled in a different direction. Insecurities derived from my childhood were being fed a poisonous piece of chocolate cake. So, instead of praying for my own strength, I kept reminding Our Lord of how weak I was. I needed the mindset of others to change, be distracted away from me. I called in the assistance of my two favorite saints, St. Faustina and St. Therese of Lisieux. Slowly, circumstances began changing; attitudes were shifting; and relationships were morphing into positive friendships. I am in awe, to say the least, at the power of heaven's assistance in protecting us while climbing the mountain. They saved me from stumbling back to where I began, with my eyes blinded by the worldly view. Despite the few steps backward, I am charging full force up that mountain to heaven with the confidence knowing I have some pretty powerful Friends!

Thank you, Jesus, for allowing me to know the true power of prayer. You are so merciful.

God bless,

Bonnie

Yes, prayers can be answered...in God's time, not ours!

Please forgive me for the lack of blogging last month as I was in the middle of having my prayers answered! My middle daughter Whitney and her fiance Kevin finished their Master's degrees and were looking for employment. With all my daughters grown, in college, and even married, it has been quite lonely without them. They are my life, my joy and most of all, a precious gift from God. Whitney and Kevin talked about moving back to Ft. Myers but would go where the jobs were. I had been going to Eucharistic Adoration once a week and praying for a job to open up for them here, close to home (God willing). To make a long story short, my future son-in-law got a job offer...guess where? Ft. Myers!! God is so good to me! They will temporarily be living with us until they purchase a home. This is going to be a fun ride!

Thank you, Lord, for listening to my prayers and giving me the patience to wait for them to be answered.

God bless,

Bonnie

Proud to be a Catholic!

I am still on cloud nine...My youngest daughter Taylor (age 20) and I (along with my friend Karen and her son Tim) went to the Eucharistic Day of Renewal in Justice, IL this past weekend. Friday night we attended the Re-Charge event, the youth division of DFOT headed by Nora McCarthy. I couldn't have asked for more seeing my daughter enjoy hanging out with a group of young discerning men and women (who, by the way, I adore!). Keith, Patrick, Ryan, Tim, Karen Anne, Emma, Kathleen, and Janie are young people discerning for the priesthood and religious life. They are full of energy and make it cool to be Catholic.

I was asked to do the first reading at the Mass on Saturday. Now, I don't have a problem getting up in front of a huge crowd to speak when I know the subject VERY well. But, doing a reading with some words in the bible that are foreign, that's a whole other cup of tea! Genesis 18 was the reading. I'm not sure which Bible I was reading from, but words like "womanly periods dried up" and "sexual pleasure" were in this version!! And, it was so long!! I could feel my voice shaking, but kept my pace slow while reading. But, I survived and my daughter said I did a great job. Well, what else could she say?

As expected, Anne's talk was, to say the least, inspiring. One point driven to the core was how much we hurt our beautiful Savior when we sin. Whether that be by addictions, pornography, even lying, He is with us in every moment. Something I need to remember when I am tempted by choices that will only benefit me, not the Heavenly Kingdom. But, I am only human and I sin. I am a sinner. There is only one perfect person that walked the face of this earth sinless. And He died for us so that our sins would be forgiven. Could you say you would die for someone so that their sins would be forgiven? People you don't even know?

Thank you, Jesus, for the sacrifice of Yourself, for me, Bonnie Shoemaker and everyone walking the face of this earth.

God bless,

Bonnie

Oh, the people you will meet...

My life as a lay apostle has been fruitful. Not only has my faith life grown tremendously, but the friendships I've made through writing Heavenly Healing are blessings. This morning is a shining example of God's goodness. The first time I met Judy, it was to record her testimony for the book. She lives close, so I met her for morning Mass in her parish. Little did I know when I saw this ray of sunshine she would become one of my very dear friends. A friend with the ability to understand me on a level many don't. After Mass, we decided to drive to Dunkin Donuts, the closest place to grab a cup of coffee. The connection was immediate. We talked for over 3 hours, only stopping because Judy had an appointment she was already late for. In parting, we both felt like we had known each other for decades, saying I love you to each other as we hugged goodbye. Judy volunteers full-time, glorifying God in everything she touches. She runs the parish store, serves at the local soup kitchen, leads many prayer groups, and started the first Lay Apostle prayer group in Florida. She takes on anything the Lord asks of her. She has enriched my life and filled a place in my heart that only she can fill. I am forever grateful to Our Lord and Savior for one of the truest friendships I have ever had.

Thank you, Lord, for filling the holes in my heart with friends like Judy, giving me added strength to follow in Your footsteps.

God bless,

Bonnie

Completed manuscript!!

Just a quick note...MY MANUSCRIPT IS COMPLETED!!!!! Yeah! I handed it off to Jane at Direction for our Times as she heads to Ireland tomorrow. She and Anne will hopefully get a chance to edit and read it. I can't tell you how good it feels to have completed my first book! I just pray it is what Jesus wants from me. Thank you to all for the love and support, and testimonies! I am forever thankful!

I must have done something good...

I love that song from The Sound of Music, don't you?  

But it rings true for me.  Some days I sit in amazement at the task the Lord has handed me in writing the testimony book for this apostolate.  He has entrusted me with the words of those who have been changed by Anne's messages from heaven.  I have traveled to meet lay apostles all over, Denver, Loveland, Dallas, Kailua, and in my own home state of Florida.   I have received beautiful testimonies from all over the world.  My love for Jesus and all of heaven grows stronger every day.  I have made so many new friends through this project.  Friends I will be in contact with forever.  They have all touched my heart and I am so thankful they let me into their lives.  

And, I finally have a title for the book:  Heavenly Healing.  Perfect, isn't it?  The title wasn't all my idea.  I knew I wanted the word "healing" but couldn't get it right.  So, I emailed Fr. Darragh (Anne's spiritual director) and asked for some Divine Intervention.  I asked for Anne to pray about it.  Then, a few days later, I received an email from Father with Anne's suggestion.  It was exactly what Jesus wanted it to be called.  It's perfect.

Thank you, Lord, for seeing past all my flaws and mistakes I've made.  I couldn't imagine working for anyone else!

Blessings, 

Bonnie S.

P.S.  As I promised the Lord, I have quit Botox injections.  I'm going on 7 months now.  I keep praying for Him to make it a gradual transition!

Clarity

The Lord has a great sense of humor.  I wanted some clarity in my life.  Sitting in the small chapel of Holy Trinity Abbey in Balleyjamesduff, Ireland for New Years Eve mass, I told the Lord I was ready to see whatever He was ready to reveal to me.  Anything.  I could handle it.  Father Jarrod began mass and welcomed my husband Steve and I to the Abbey.  We had spent a few hours with Father earlier that day, eating lunch with him, Fr. Killian, and Brother Brian.  After receiving the Holy Eucharist, I returned to my pew, kneeling in prayer.  

Then, out of the blue, I hear loud and clear, "Stop the Botox."  Huh?  Where did that come from?  It was so random. I hate to admit to my vanity, but years ago a friend talked me into getting Botox in my forehead.  It took years off my aging face.  I was hooked.  Like an alcoholic needing a drink or an addict needing a fix, I faithfully got my injections every four to five months.  Now, Jesus was asking me to stop?  I began negotiating with Him - anything else, Lord, I will gladly do.  The thought of discontinuing something that made me feel better about myself was disturbing.  Maybe it wasn't Jesus talking, just my mind wandering.  Uh huh.  

The next evening we attended the monthly lay apostle prayer group at St. Anne's in Bailieboro.  This is Anne's parish and she was there to give her talk before praying the Luminous Mysteries.  I again began to pray about clarity.  Did You really want me to stop the Botox?  Then, I felt the Lord's presence.  Within my soul I heard, "it's not about what's on the outside.  It's about what's on the inside for my lay apostles."  Ok, Lord, I hear You.  How could I refuse the request?  

Thank you, Lord, for speaking to me with words (aka Botox!) specifically to make me hear You.  

Blessings,

Bonnie S.

The Test of Faith

First, I want to wish all a very Merry Christmas.  This past week has been exhausting, to say the least.  I'm not referring to last minute shopping, which was the distraction I needed at the time.  In taking a stand for my faith and love of our Lord on a delicate issue within my family, an avalanche of wounding words and attacks on my Christianity materialized.  My heart was wounded.  In a way it had never been before.  After apologizing for causing waves via email, the attacks continued, one hurtful email after another.  My daughters were amazing and supportive, outraged at the slurs thrown at their mother.  As I carefully constructed an email defending myself and my faith, I felt the Lord prompt me to walk away from the computer before I hit the send button.  I found myself walking into the garage and pondering what the defensive email could evoke in those attacking.  After a few minutes, I went back and deleted the email.  In my second attempt at responding, the Lord placed graces in my heart to show His love and compassion.  

I have to give credit where credit is due.  The Volumes, Climbing the Mountain, Mist of Mercy and Serving in Clarity have changed my heart.  For those who know me, my family is my lifeline.  I would never have imagined such a huge rift would occur when taking a stand for decency.  But, the evil one knows where your vulnerabilities are, and will pounce when he sees the opportunity.  All I can say is, if this is all he has, bring it on!  The love and support of my daughters, husband, younger sister and fellow lay apostles through this difficult time has shown me what is most important in life.  The road of a Christian is a bumpy one.  And those that truly love you with the same goal of climbing the mountain to our beautiful Jesus' arms make the bumpy road a little less jolting.

Thank you Lord, for allowing others to refuel me with Your Love when I am down and in need of encouragement.  

Blessings,

Bonnie S.

Off to Ireland for the new year

Good morning, fellow (and future) lay apostles!  

I heard someone say the start of your new year sets the course for the year to come.  Well, I am going to have one amazing 2009!  My husband and I will be traveling to Ireland December 29th to visit Holy Trinity Abbey and attend the Lay Apostle prayer group at St. Anne's January 1st in Bailieborough.  To hear the monthly message from Jesus as given to Anne, a lay apostle will be the highlight of my trip.  I anticipate the first of every month, as do all lay apostles.  To hear the message firsthand, before the rest of the world, feels like a privilege.  January 2nd I will be meeting with Anne and Fr. Darragh (Anne's spiritual director) at the DFOT mission office to discuss the testimony book and determine a timeline.  I know Jesus has a plan for me, and I couldn't be more thankful He chose this apostolate as my destiny.  

Thank you, Lord, for the overflowing graces and Your loving guidance as I embark on the most important work of my life.

Blessings, 

Bonnie S.

A Time For Thanksgiving

I have been an "empty nester" for almost 2 years now.  I am adjusting to the quiet life and actually enjoy it at times.  This Thanksgiving two of my daughters are not able to come home to celebrate with us.  So, this year, it's just three of us.  Last night my youngest daughter arrived as she and her sisters normally do, honking the horn relentlessly until I come running out the door to greet them.  She jumped out of her car and headed right for my outstretched arms.  Oh, what a feeling!

We entertained ourselves most of the evening creating goofy pictures of the two of us on Mac Photo Booth.  I don't think I have laughed that hard for a long time.  I went to bed last night asking the Lord how I was worthy enough to be so blessed.  My youngest was so full of joy and light it was infectious.  She gave me the laughter I missed so much and I gave her the warmth and comfort of her mother's arms.  I have so much to be thankful for.  

Thank you, Lord, for the joy, laughter and love of my daughters.  May Your light shine within each of them forever.

Blessings, 

Bonnie S.

Change

When the monthly message for November 1 arrived, my stomach tensed a bit.  I reread it again.  Then, my phone rang.  "Mom," said my oldest daughter in a panicked voice.  "Did you read the monthly message from Jesus?  Does this mean Obama will be elected?"  My gut instinct as I read it for the first time duplicated my daughter's.  She is employed full time and a grad student at The Institute of World Politics in Washington, D.C.  And, I might add, a very conservative Republican.  I tried to console her, explaining it could mean any kind of change, not specifically Obama's potential presidency.  My words pacified her for the time being.  

Election night proved more challenging.  Nothing I said eased her disappointment or mine.  The next morning I located the monthly message and began to read it to her as she inched her way in D.C. traffic.  I repeated this part several times to etch it in her brain, and mine:  

In seeking the good of all of God's children, I must allow changes to come which will 

impact all of God's children.  I do this to bring about the goodness and peace I refer to but the change will be gradual in terms of the benefits to come.  Trust Me in every-

thing.

I must admit the words that once caused panic now comfort me.  Jesus continues to tell us the same thing over and over, TRUST ME!  Now, more than ever, is the time to heed His advice.

Thank you, Lord, for continually reminding me to trust You.  Bless me with the graces to pass Your peace on to others.

Blessings,

Bonnie S.

 

Tolerance

Where do we draw the line when others treat us with disrespect?  

Tacked to the corkboard I stare at every day while writing is a small pamphlet I received in the mail from the Oblates of St. Frances de Sales.  There is a section called "The Little Virtues."

There are "little virtues" to practice every day of the week.  Here they are:

God, throughout this week, grant me the grace to become more Christlike.  Each day, a step at a time, help me to become a saint through the practice of

The Little Virtues

Sunday:  A cheerful bearing with our own imperfections and limitations.

Monday:  Patient endurance of the small acts of selfishness and injustice of others.

Tuesday:  A gentle voice and a calm manner.

Wednesday:  An agreeable manner of answering those who speak disagreeably to us.

Thursday:  A cheerful tolerance of the tiresome tempers of our neighbors.

Friday:  A pleasant manner of accepting a refusal.

Saturday:  Showing appreciation even if we dislike being indebted.

These aren't easy to execute on a daily basis.  It takes practice.  I do see small changes in my behavior from daily reading of the virtues.  But the question still remains, after tolerating disrespect, what is the next step to heal our wounded heart?

The younger me would blow up on the spot and point out the impolite behavior.  But the older me tries to see the bigger picture.  I can't remember how many times I explained to my daughters growing up that when others say mean things or treat you badly, maybe someone treated them worse earlier and that hurt is being taken out on you.  Looking at the bigger picture helps the immediate pain, but sometimes it continues to linger until a resolution is achieved.

As hard as it can be, I am trying to kindly approach those that offend me in word or action.  No matter the outcome, I find peace in having done my part to get closure.  

Thank you, Lord, for St. Frances de Sales and his "little virtues."  

Blessings,

Bonnie

Back to the land of the living

As I slowly crawl my way back to reality, it is hard to believe my daughter's wedding quickly came and went faster than the blink of an eye.  She is now a happily married woman on her honeymoon with the man of her dreams.  Love at its best.  She was the most beautiful bride I have ever seen (of course, I'm not prejudiced!) and helping her adorn her wedding gown and veil in the small room provided at the church was overwhelming.  I stepped back and for an instant I saw my little curly headed blonde looking to me for comfort from a bad dream.  Now, 25 years later, she looks at me searching for that same comfort.  The tears in my eyes and smile on my face assure her everything will be ok.  

I knew all along that my son-in-law was heaven sent.  He adores my daughter and I have never doubted that.  But to see his face when she appeared to walk down the aisle, sheer love and joy (and a huge grin) took over his whole being.  What more could a mother ask for?

Thank you, Lord, for allowing me the privilege of raising three daughters who love You and for the men You have sent to love them.

Blessings,

Bonnie S.

Living our Faith

There is a church in Lafayette, Colorado called Immaculate Conception we attend when my husband and I visit monthly.  For years the church operated out of a small building close to downtown (Lafayette is a VERY small town, one main street running through the center).  A new church has been erected about a mile away from the old building.  I enjoyed the services and Father Amundsen in the small church, but never really felt a connection to this parish.  The first time I attended mass in the new facility, I was immediately drawn to the passion and power the Lord had infused in my absence.  The sanctuary is beautiful and full of life.  But, most importantly, the people seem different.  Happier.  Maybe it's just me, but the Light of the Lord is present in smiles as we greet each other and offer peace. Maybe I wasn't paying attention before.  I didn't think I would ever find a church as wonderful as St. Cecilia's.  Immaculate Conception is my home away from home.  

In the sermon this weekend, the parable of the two sons whose father made a request of each was told.  One son replied "no" to his father and later decided to comply with the request. The other son said "yes" to his father's request and never complied.  Which son was worse?  

In living our faith, we must not only say we are Christians, but act like Christians in everything we do.  We need to say yes to Our Father and follow the path His Son has laid out for us.  We are only human and we will falter at times.  And when we do, the Lord is always there with a loving embrace to put us back on track again.

Thank you, Lord, for leading me back to the path when I tend to stray.

Blessings,

Bonnie S.

Good friends

Driving away with Starbucks in my rearview mirror, I couldn't help wonder how I got so lucky.  

Four of us met for coffee after our Lay Apostle prayer meeting today.  We laughed, discussed serious issues and, I believe, solved all the world problems in just a few hours!  Well, maybe on a local level, for now.  Our discussion was focused on a conflict that had arisen in our group.  First and foremost was navigating a path to resolving the issue as Jesus would want us to...with kindness and love.  If only everyone approached difficult situations with the compassion and insight displayed today...

Allocating time in their busy schedules to meet for coffee, these women have shared a piece of themselves with me over the last nine months and enriched my life more than they will ever know.  The beauty that exudes in abundance from each of them is blinding at times.  I feel privileged to be a part of this group.  

Thank you, Lord, for leading me to a place where my crosses become a little lighter.

Blessings,

Bonnie S.

Trusting in Him

An amazing thing happened to me a few weeks ago.  Now, get ready, I am going to reveal something about myself that not many know about.  After my first marriage ended in divorce, I ducked the issue of annulment for the last ten years.  I justified, in my own mind, that it WAS a valid marriage and didn't want my three daughters to be considered "illegitimate" in the eyes of the church.  I just couldn't do it.  Period.  The thought of not receiving communion for the length of time it takes for the annulment to come through was unbearable.  

But, as my relationship with Jesus becomes stronger, and the more trust I put in Him, the better things work out in the long run.  So, after the nudging of a woman I confided in from my prayer group, I decided it was time.  That Sunday I had to start doing the right thing in the eyes of my Catholic church.  And receiving communion without the annulment didn't feel right.  So, I let the others in my row pass as they made their way to the alter.   This was heartwrenching as communion has always been special to me.  After leaving church, I knew I made the right decision.  

I scheduled time with my priest to talk about a few things.  As he will be officiating at my daughter's wedding, I suppose he thought I wanted to talk about that.  I was so nervous to tell him about my situation, but a good friend calmed me down as I sat in the parking lot of the church.  I walked in Father's office and blurted out everything!  He sat there calmly listening and asked a few questions.  When I answered "no" to all three, he said "you don't need an annulment, you just need to file a 'lack of form' document."  WHAT????  He pulled out his book of Canon laws to make sure, and lo and behold, no annulment needed!  I began crying tears of joy and relief.  I can't tell you how heavy that cross was for ten years.  I think the news was a gift from Jesus that day.  No, I KNOW it was.  He is so good to me.  I must remember and give thanks daily for the strength he has bestowed upon me to make it through each and every challenge I face.  Trusting Him is becoming easier and easier the more I let Him handle things.  Trust comes in when accepting whatever happens as His will.  

Thank you, Lord, for showing me I CAN trust You in everything.  Your will be done.

Blessings,

Bonnie S.

Reflections

If I only knew then what I know now.  How many times have you uttered those words when contemplating your past?  Sometimes when I think of all the mistakes I've made in my lifetime, it makes me shudder.  But then I see my oldest daughter dreamily float out of the dressing room in her wedding gown and I know God has forgiven my past and blessed me with more riches than I could possibly imagine.  The beauty in moments of joy is usually brief due to worry about one thing or another, distracted by the worldly pull.   But as I prepare for my daughter's upcoming wedding, amid the stress of my role as wedding coordinator, God continually reminds me to stay focused on what is important about this event - the Sacrament of Marriage.

Please, Lord, help me to see Your beauty in everything, despite challenges along the way.

God bless,
Bonnie

  

Time passes quickly

Life has been a whirlwind for me lately and blogging was, unfortunately, on the back burner.  The last few weeks have given light to the evangelization of the DFOT mission.  The need for prayer can show up in the strangest places and when you least expect it.  One of my prayer group members, Veronique, and I met at the Blackhawk Coffee shop in Bell Tower so I could fill her in on what was discussed the prior day at a group meeting.  We were engrossed in conversation and Veronique, in her beautiful French accent, asked if I would be comfortable praying in public. "Absolutely," I told her and she quickly grabbed both of my hands.  Now, let me stop here for a moment before I go further.  I have to tell you, Veronique is one of those people able to articulate a spontaneous prayer so eloquently that it is mesmerizing.  As she prayed for me, I began to get choked up.  All I could think was the Lord sure answered my prayers when I asked Him to surround me with friends who love Him as I do.   He has blessed me in abundance.  

Now, back to the coffee shop.  When Veronique finished praying, an older woman approached us and asked Veronique if she was a healer.  We just looked at each other and giggled.  "No, she said, we were just praying." She asked if we could pray for her as she was struggling with life at the moment.  The woman sat down between us and began describing her situation.  She was Islamic and Veronique clarified she would be praying in the name of Jesus Christ.  The woman had no problem with that and Veronique began.  After thanking and hugging both of us, she left, hopefully with some peace in her heart.  We were amazed, agreeing the Lord put her in our path that day.  The Lord never ceases to amaze me!

On another note, I am still looking for testimonies to be posted or emailed to me as I have told the publisher we would have the book together by the end of September or October.  So...I REALLY need the testimonies soon!  Here is an example of how Volume One affected my thirteen year old niece:

This Book Has Changed My Life By:

1. I have a closer relationship with God, Jesus and Mary.

2. I have learned a lot about living by not to be mean to anyone because they are God's child.

3. I believe in God, Jesus and Mary so much more than I did a long time ago.

4. Anne has inspired me to learn more about God, Jesus and Mary.

5. My Aunt and my Mom have inspired me to read more of Anne's books.

6. Now that my Mom has been reading Anne's book I pray every night.

7. I feel I am closer to God, Jesus and Mary.

8. I am more thankful for my life.

There is more to her testimony, but this says it all.  One small book opened a new world for a young girl in desperate need of the Lord.  Just think of how this can touch everyone in your life.  All you need to do is plant the seed and let Jesus work within that soul from there.  

Thank you, Jesus, for the opportunity to do Your work here on earth.  Guide my path today and everyday so that I may provide the smallest bit of comfort to those in need of Your love and compassion.

Blessings,

Bonnie S.