Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Trusting in Him

An amazing thing happened to me a few weeks ago.  Now, get ready, I am going to reveal something about myself that not many know about.  After my first marriage ended in divorce, I ducked the issue of annulment for the last ten years.  I justified, in my own mind, that it WAS a valid marriage and didn't want my three daughters to be considered "illegitimate" in the eyes of the church.  I just couldn't do it.  Period.  The thought of not receiving communion for the length of time it takes for the annulment to come through was unbearable.  

But, as my relationship with Jesus becomes stronger, and the more trust I put in Him, the better things work out in the long run.  So, after the nudging of a woman I confided in from my prayer group, I decided it was time.  That Sunday I had to start doing the right thing in the eyes of my Catholic church.  And receiving communion without the annulment didn't feel right.  So, I let the others in my row pass as they made their way to the alter.   This was heartwrenching as communion has always been special to me.  After leaving church, I knew I made the right decision.  

I scheduled time with my priest to talk about a few things.  As he will be officiating at my daughter's wedding, I suppose he thought I wanted to talk about that.  I was so nervous to tell him about my situation, but a good friend calmed me down as I sat in the parking lot of the church.  I walked in Father's office and blurted out everything!  He sat there calmly listening and asked a few questions.  When I answered "no" to all three, he said "you don't need an annulment, you just need to file a 'lack of form' document."  WHAT????  He pulled out his book of Canon laws to make sure, and lo and behold, no annulment needed!  I began crying tears of joy and relief.  I can't tell you how heavy that cross was for ten years.  I think the news was a gift from Jesus that day.  No, I KNOW it was.  He is so good to me.  I must remember and give thanks daily for the strength he has bestowed upon me to make it through each and every challenge I face.  Trusting Him is becoming easier and easier the more I let Him handle things.  Trust comes in when accepting whatever happens as His will.  

Thank you, Lord, for showing me I CAN trust You in everything.  Your will be done.

Blessings,
Bonnie S.




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