Brutal Honesty Within Ourselves

No one wants to admit their sins out loud (except in the Sacrament of Confession with a priest [if you are Catholic] . . . which is still tough but full of graces!). There is a book called A Million Little Pieces by James Frey. Now, this book has been questioned if it is truly a work of non-fiction, but honestly, I really didn't care. It is brutal and beautiful and eye-opening to the world of addiction. I read it long ago, but will never erase the part where he admits all his sins . . . literally lists every one of them. My point is . . . healing will never take place if we aren't brutally honest within ourselves first. How can we avoid judgement if we haven't taken a good look at our own behavior? How can we forgive if we haven't forgiven ourselves for our imperfections? Admitting your sins is the first step to true realization of how much we all need God in our lives. He is the Great Forgiver and loves us despite our transgressions. Never mind what the world defines us as. In His Eyes, we are beautiful, smart, protected and loved. 

In todays Gospel (Luke 4:16-30), Jesus brilliantly gives the crowd an opportunity to be brutally honest within. Alas, some are just not able to:

Jesus came to Nazareth, where he had grown up, and went according to his custom into the synagogue on the sabbath day. He stood up to read and was handed a scroll of the prophet Isaiah. He unrolled the scroll and found the passage where it was written:

The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he has anointed me to bring glad tidings to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim liberty to captives and recovery of sight to the blind, to let the oppressed go free, and to proclaim a year acceptable to the Lord.

Rolling up the scroll, he handed it back to the attendant and sat down, and the eyes of all in the synagogue looked intently at him. He said to them, “Today this Scripture passage is fulfilled in your hearing.” And all spoke highly of him and were amazed at the gracious words that came from his mouth. They also asked, “Is this not the son of Joseph?” He said to them, “Surely you will quote me this proverb, ‘Physician, cure yourself,’ and say, ‘Do here in your native place the things that we heard were done in Capernaum.’” And he said, “Amen, I say to you, no prophet is accepted in his own native place. Indeed, I tell you, there were many widows in Israel in the days of Elijah when the sky was closed for three and a half years and a severe famine spread over the entire land. It was to none of these that Elijah was sent, but only to a widow in Zarephath in the land of Sidon. Again, there were many lepers in Israel during the time of Elisha the prophet; yet not one of them was cleansed, but only Naaman the Syrian.” When the people in the synagogue heard this, they were all filled with fury. They rose up, drove him out of the town, and led him to the brow of the hill on which their town had been built, to hurl him down headlong. But he passed through the midst of them and went away.

In Anne a lay apostle's book Serving in Clarity, she gracefully gives us a nudge to look within first:

"When we face God and account for our life, we will not be able to produce other people’s sinfulness as evidence of our holiness. We will stand alone, accounting for the way in which we behaved. As apostles, we must flee from any type of smug thinking. I have said this before in other places but I will continue to say it because it is dangerous and destructive in terms of both our personal movement to holiness and the coming of God’s Kingdom. When we find ourselves considering the unworthiness, sinfulness, or mistakes of another, we must get silent immediately, lest we do damage to the other person or to his reputation. Then we must beg Jesus to enlighten our own soul in order that we see where we need to improve. If we do this, we will become as holy as we should. Consider a woman examining her neighbor’s garden with the greatest disdain. She remarks to others that her neighbor has weeds around her rose bushes, overgrown grass, and unswept and untidy sidewalks. She tsk tsk tsks that women today do not seem to care about their duty. She points to one small area of her own garden that is tidy and uses this to show others how dutiful she herself is. The back of her house, however, is a disastrous mess with overgrown bushes, tall grass, and refuse strewn all over. Additionally, the inside of her house is disorderly and cold. Does she see to her own mess? No. She stands facing her neighbor’s garden. She points continually to the one small area of her yard that looks clean so that others will both admire her and denounce the neighbor. To be clear, I am speaking in a metaphor. The garden I refer to is actually the soul of the woman in question. She is so busy criticizing her neighbor that she pays no heed to the work she herself needs to do. Before any of us enter heaven, we will have to be honest about our flaws. We can do the work here or in the hereafter but God is clear that He wants us to do this honesty work here."

Lay apostles, have you been brutally honest with yourself and all your beautiful imperfections? As the author does in the above mentioned book, write them down for your eyes only. Say them out loud (preferably in Confession or in the privacy of your own home!). Take responsibility for each realizing we are all sinners. If writing all of them seems a daunting task, start with one or two. Soon the realization of judging others and their imperfections seems unjustified. Remember, Christ brutally died for our sins. Love Him as He loves us.

Thank you, Lord, for giving me the ability to face my imperfections with honesty and grace. 

God bless,

Bonnie

Cleaning Up the Inside

Have you read The Whole30: The 30 Day Guide to Total Health and Food Freedom? Two of my sisters and one of my nieces began this about 6 weeks ago. The changes they saw were not only on the outside, but on the inside, too. Here is The Whole30 in a nutshell:

Established by Dallas Hartwig and Melissa Hartwig (of Whole9) in April 2009, the Whole30® is our original nutritional program designed to change your life in 30 days. Think of it as a short-term nutritional reset, designed to help you put an end to unhealthy cravings and habits, restore a healthy metabolism, heal your digestive tract, and balance your immune system.

Certain food groups (like sugar, grains, dairy and legumes) could be having a negative impact on your health and fitness without you even realizing it. Are your energy levels inconsistent or non-existent? Do you have aches and pains that can’t be explained by over-use or injury? Are you having a hard time losing weight no matter how hard you try? Do you have some sort of condition (like skin issues, digestive ailments, seasonal allergies or fertility issues) that medication hasn’t helped? These symptoms may be directly related to the foods you eat—even the “healthy” stuff.

So how do you know if (and how) these foods are affecting you? Strip them from your diet completely. Cut out all the psychologically unhealthy, hormone-unbalancing, gut-disrupting, inflammatory food groups for a full 30 days. Let your body heal and recover from whatever effects those foods may be causing. Push the “reset” button with your metabolism, systemic inflammation, and the downstream effects of the food choices you’ve been making. Learn once and for all how the foods you’ve been eating are actually affecting your day to day life, and your long term health.

Jay and I have committed to this program beginning September 15th (so pray for us!). We have a wedding and a 1st birthday party to attend before this date, so we wanted to make sure nothing got in our way of changing our lives for the better! Now, I am a planner . . . and I don't like surprises. So, I decided to start eliminating sugar, dairy and gluten over a week ago to prepare myself for the 30 days. Jay joined in and I have to tell you, not only are we experiencing more energy, but clearer thinking. Cleaning up the inside first is a must. If our minds are focused on Christ and His Will for us, everything else seems to fall into place. 

The Gospel today (Matthew 23:23-26) teaches us to spend more time cleaning up the inside, our souls, than our outward appearances:

Jesus said: “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, you hypocrites. You pay tithes of mint and dill and cumin, and have neglected the weightier things of the law: judgment and mercy and fidelity. But these you should have done, without neglecting the others. Blind guides, who strain out the gnat and swallow the camel!

“Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, you hypocrites. You cleanse the outside of cup and dish, but inside they are full of plunder and self-indulgence. Blind Pharisee, cleanse first the inside of the cup, so that the outside also may be clean.”

In Volume Seven, St. Philomena assures us a little courageous cleansing of our own souls will attract others to do the same:

"Dear brothers and sisters, you must be joyful during this time. Whenever you are tempted toward despair, you must think of heaven and how Jesus is making the earth like heaven by allowing this cleansing. Jesus is reclaiming the earth. That is a wonderful thing and will ensure that your children’s children will not have to contend with the darkness of sin that surrounds your children. It would please Jesus if you would be thankful to Him, despite any circumstances. A saint conducts herself this way and finds that she is joyful regardless of any and all hardships. Dear friends of heaven, the enemy will not prevail. You know this because you have been told this. At the end of this time, Jesus will return and the earth will be beautiful again. Before that, there will be a time when it will appear that the enemy has taken control of the world. The darkness of sin will reign and our beloved Church will suffer even more. Followers will face grave and constant attacks for their faith in many areas of the world. They will persevere and set the most beautiful example for others. This will draw others back to the faith in great numbers, so you see, the enemy’s strategy will backfire. The more God’s enemies persecute His children, the more children will choose God and remain true. It has always been this way, sadly. God’s children should serve Him faithfully in good times also, but many do not. Many become worldly when the times are easy. Be brave. Your courage will come from heaven and inspire many."

Lay apostles, I don't know about you, but I sure have some soul housecleaning left to do! I strive to be better every day by keeping Christ as my center . . . knowing He is by my side always. I do forget at times when my thoughts drift to the worldly view, but He gets my attention aligned with His very quickly these days. In what area do you need a little soul cleansing today? Maybe you can achieve that cleansing with #ActionsofCompassion? Just a thought . . .

Thank you, Lord, for leading me to a better life. Please continue to assist with the mind clutter that sometimes distracts me from Your Will.

God bless,

Bonnie

Greed Creates Contempt

Keeping up with the Joneses. Where exactly did this phrase come from? Curious, I googled it. From Wikipedia:

"Keeping up with the Joneses" is an idiom in many parts of the English-speaking world referring to the comparison to one's neighbor as a benchmark for social caste or the accumulation of material goods. To fail to "keep up with the Joneses" is perceived as demonstrating socio-economic or cultural inferiority.

The phrase was popularized when a comic strip of the same name was created by cartoonist Arthur R. "Pop" Momand. The strip debuted in 1913, distributed by Associated Newspapers. The strip ran in American newspapers for 26 years, and was eventually adapted into books, films, and musical comedies. The "Joneses" of the title were neighbors of the strip's main characters, and were unseen characters spoken of but never actually seen in person.

I was surprised it had been a comic strip! And, ran for 26 years! Why are people so obsessed with having more than their neighbor? A bigger house, a prettier wife, or a fancier car reflect what is on the outside. Do people really think about the blood, sweat and tears it took to acquire the big house or the heartbreak endured behind closed doors with a beautiful mentally ill wife? Usually not. About 3 years ago, after we had finished with patients one day (I was working in clinical research at the time), I showed a video book trailer my daughter Taylor had just produced and directed on my computer to one of my young co-workers. After watching the very impressive video, with a sigh she commented I had such an exciting life with so many good things happening to me. I looked at her, gave her a hug, and said, "I am 50. You are 19. I better have some exciting things happening by this age!" She smiled and said that made sense. She doesn't know what I've been through in my life. She is only able to see what I reveal externally. There will always be someone with more or less than we possess.  We must be thankful for what God has given us. Whether we are blessed with good health, a job, or food and shelter . . . appreciation is key. Becoming greedy and wanting what others have can generate negativity leading to disrespect or dislike for nothing more than someone is driving a fancy car and we drive a lemon. Is that really worth stealing, hating or criticizing for?

In todays Gospel (Matthew 20:1-16), Jesus uses a parable which may find greedy people agreeing with the first laborers. But look deeper into what Jesus is explaining:

Jesus told his disciples this parable: "The Kingdom of heaven is like a landowner who went out at dawn to hire laborers for his vineyard. After agreeing with them for the usual daily wage, he sent them into his vineyard. Going out about nine o'clock, he saw others standing idle in the marketplace, and he said to them, 'You too go into my vineyard, and I will give you what is just.' So they went off. And he went out again around noon, and around three o'clock, and did likewise. Going out about five o'clock, he found others standing around, and said to them, 'Why do you stand here idle all day?' They answered, 'Because no one has hired us.' He said to them, 'You too go into my vineyard.' When it was evening the owner of the vineyard said to his foreman, 'Summon the laborers and give them their pay, beginning with the last and ending with the first.' When those who had started about five o'clock came, each received the usual daily wage. So when the first came, they thought that they would receive more, but each of them also got the usual wage. And on receiving it they grumbled against the landowner, saying, 'These last ones worked only one hour, and you have made them equal to us, who bore the day's burden and the heat.' He said to one of them in reply, 'My friend, I am not cheating you. Did you not agree with me for the usual daily wage? Take what is yours and go. What if I wish to give this last one the same as you? Or am I not free to do as I wish with my own money? Are you envious because I am generous?' Thus, the last will be first, and the first will be last."

In Volume One, Anne a lay apostle has some good advice when it comes to our role on earth:

"I often compare my parenting of my children with God’s parenting of us on earth. He hates us to fight. He loves us to give in and make peace, forgive, and console each other. He must get so aggravated when we fight over possessions, thinking, I gave you that and it is Mine. I can easily take it away. If you want to know how to please our God, just consider a child, and what that child would have to do to please his parents. Be good. Be nice. Be obedient. Take direction when it is given. Laugh a lot. Smile. And clean up your messes. Don’t be greedy or unkind and whatever your job is, do it cheerfully."

Lay apostles, no matter what our circumstances, praise God. The Lord knows what is required to get to heaven. Have faith He knows what He's doing. Don't look at others for their value on the outside. For within each of us is something priceless . . . we are children of God!

Thank you, Lord, for helping me focus on being thankful for what I have, not wanting what others have. I will continue to build my worth internally in anticipation of the day You call me home!

God bless,
Bonnie

The Dreaded Last Pick

Yes, I was one of those kids usually chosen last for the kickball, dodgeball or softball team. P.E. class was something I dreaded in my younger days. I was short and thin . . . and sucked at most sports.  I think it was more a lack of confidence than skill, but I tried. In kickball, I usually sent it flying right into the arms of the opposing team. In dodgeball, I was usually the target as I wasn't as fast on my feet. In softball, by the time I ran with all my might to first base, I was already out and the opposing team heading to the dugout for their turn at bat. As you can imagine, as I matured I had an aching desire to be first . . . the best at whatever I attempted. To the point of being a perfectionist. An over the top perfectionist. Whenever things didn't turn out my way, the wounded little girl who was always chosen last emerged and she was not a happy camper! With time (and this apostolate!), the concept of humility and rejoicing for those chosen over me, those loved more than I, and trusting Christ with every outcome has become the way I try to live my life. Being last means lifting others up . . . remaining small so my ego doesn't get in the way. I have learned being the dreaded last pick is actually a place of honor in the Lord's Eyes. 

Todays Gospel (Matthew 19:23-30) spells it out . . . the first will be last and the last will be first:

Jesus said to his disciples: “Amen, I say to you, it will be hard for one who is rich to enter the Kingdom of heaven. Again I say to you, it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for one who is rich to enter the Kingdom of God.” When the disciples heard this, they were greatly astonished and said, “Who then can be saved?” Jesus looked at them and said, “For men this is impossible, but for God all things are possible.” Then Peter said to him in reply, “We have given up everything and followed you. What will there be for us?” Jesus said to them, “Amen, I say to you that you who have followed me, in the new age, when the Son of Man is seated on his throne of glory, will yourselves sit on twelve thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel. And everyone who has given up houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or lands for the sake of my name will receive a hundred times more, and will inherit eternal life. But many who are first will be last, and the last will be first.”

In Volume Seven, St. Gertrude advises us to compare ourselves to Christ, not the world:

"Dear brothers and sisters, along with detachment you must practice humility. You have words from heaven, but what will you do with these words? Will you understand that God is calling you to be an apostle? Truly, that is the case. Have you answered that call? You will be first in heaven, my friends, but you must allow yourself to be last on earth. You have been given great spiritual food, along with many spiritual graces. You will not want to waste these graces by continuing to march to the tune of the enemy. Step out of that group that follows the world and follow us, your heavenly friends. We are humble because we compare ourselves to Christ. Compare yourself to Him and you will also feel humble. When you are humble, He can make you great. It is not hard to understand if you are detached from the world. Heaven is so different. When you consider worldly thinking, just reverse it and often you will find yourself thinking in heavenly terms."

Lay apostles, there are times when our hard work doesn't get rewarded. How do we react when this occurs? Our human instinct is to be hurt, upset, feel abandoned, or angry. If we attempt what St. Gertrude is suggesting, when considering worldly thinking, just reverse it! Strive to be humble in everything. Look at hurtful events as blessings. Remember He will never abandon us. Be joyful instead of angry . . . 

Thank you, Lord, for all the lessons and especially for Your Words in the Gospel today. I promise to strive for humility over ego! Please continue to remind me when I start thinking as the world thinks!

God bless,
Bonnie

It's Just Stuff

My purse collection is extensive. Maybe not the volume of Imelda Marcos (after she and her family fled Malacanan Palace, they found 1,000 handbags left behind!), but I have accumulated a nice assemblage in an array of colors. One thing you must know, I don't collect designer bags. I go for cheap and unique. If Macy's is having a 60% off sale and I have an extra 20% off coupon . . . well, let's just say I love a good deal. But as much as I delight in the rainbow displayed on hooks in my closet, I would give any one of them away in a heartbeat. One insight (among many!) I have taken away from this apostolate is detaching from worldly possessions in order to focus on accumulating heavenly assets. This is an easy task when we are talking about handbags. But what about our homes? Our cars? What would we do if our creature comforts were taken away? Well, whine and complain a bit, I suppose. Perhaps fear would ensnare our minds causing unethical decisions to be made in order to retrieve what we had lost. I'm not saying give up everything you have worked hard to achieve. I'm saying don't place such a high value on material things you can't take with you . . . after all, it's just stuff.

In todays Gospel (Matthew 19:16-22), Jesus honestly answers what appears to be a simple question:

A young man approached Jesus and said, "Teacher, what good must I do to gain eternal life?" He answered him, "Why do you ask me about the good? There is only One who is good. If you wish to enter into life, keep the commandments." He asked him, "Which ones?" And Jesus replied, "You shall not kill; you shall not commit adultery; you shall not steal; you shall not bear false witness; honor your father and your mother; and you shall love your neighbor as yourself." The young man said to him, "All of these I have observed. What do I still lack?" Jesus said to him, "If you wish to be perfect, go, sell what you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me." When the young man heard this statement, he went away sad, for he had many possessions.

In the February 2005 Monthly Message, Jesus provides guidance in regard to possessions on earth:

"I wish to tell the world of My love. Dearest children of God, you will be welcomed in heaven. You have a family here who prepares for your arrival. Each soul on earth is steadily making progress in their earthly journey in that you are steadily approaching the end of your life, even if you will live to a very old age. If we begin with that thought, My next thought will make even more sense to you: I wish you to consider what it is you will bring Me when I come for you. Will you bring Me kindness to others? Will you bring Me service to your family? Will you bring Me a duty fulfilled in obedience and dignity? You see, little souls, I will not ask you for your material possessions because they will have no value here, unless you use these possessions to help others. Only then can material possessions acquire heavenly value. I have placed you in the world to serve. I am with you in each day but you must also be with Me. Dearest children, ask Me for guidance and I will tell you how I wish you to serve."

Lay apostles, are you placing a higher value on your material possessions than on your spouse or children? On accumulating rather than loving? What's the worst thing that could happen if you lost a treasured item? You would be sad; you would miss it; and then life goes on, right? Why spend precious time and energy fretting over "things" when there are plenty of people around us needing kindness and love?

Thank you, Lord, for showing me earthly "things" aren't as important as love and kindness. Continue to place people in my life to love and show accumulating heavenly virtues is much more important than handbags!

God bless,
Bonnie

Bound in Heaven

Wednesday's Gospel (Matthew 18:15-20) couldn't be any clearer . . . in marriage, in relationships, in business . . . be honest and trustworthy. What we give on earth will be given to us after our death. So, let's do our best to put our ego aside and serve others. It's a new day and a new opportunity to focus on the end result . . . an eternity in the presence of Christ!

Jesus said to his disciples: “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have won over your brother. If he does not listen,  take one or two others along with you, so that every fact may be established on the testimony of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell the Church. If he refuses to listen even to the Church, then treat him as you would a Gentile or a tax collector. Amen, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. Again, amen, I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything for which they are to pray, it shall be granted to them by my heavenly Father. For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.”

In Anne a lay apostle's book Serving in Clarity, the following quote provides a visual worth remembering when the climb is steep:

"Today I found myself back at the mountain of holiness. I saw many people ascending at quite a high level. These ones made steady progress and seemed to exhibit great joy. I found myself among them for a moment in that I had the experience of how they felt. The mountain at this height was steep and there would be a risk of falling back but I sensed the most secure support at my back. It was like a solid structure against which to rest and it felt perfectly safe and absolutely sound. I saw, in looking around, that something bound us all together at this level and everyone around me was as secure as I was, which is what contributed powerfully to our freedom and subsequent joy. I said, 'Jesus, what binds us together?' Jesus said, 'It is obedience to My Church, Anne. The solid support behind you is your obedience to My Church.'

I rejoiced in the happiness of those around me and delighted in the steadiness with which they moved, never backsliding. I understood clearly that if a soul left obedience the support would be jeopardized. I asked Jesus a question because I am bothered by something. I said, 'Lord, what about the cases where people act in obedience but are really unkind? They are obeying but something is terribly wrong.' Jesus drew my attention to the Ring of Defiance, the ring of people at the base of the mountain that repulsed others. I understood that while some appeared to obey in deed or in behavior, they lacked the spirit of obedience. Jesus told me that I would know quite quickly if the spirit of obedience was lacking in a soul because I would experience arrogance from these people. They pretend to obey but in their hearts they have no love. Their obedience feeds their arrogance and they use the pretense of obedience to hold themselves above others. People experience superiority and coldness from them. I know some of these people and it is very repugnant. They can be cruel and indifferent. It is another case of others being the mirror in which they admire themselves. I said, 'Lord, they do a lot of work.' He said 'Yes, and they demand full payment from Me. They present each deed to Me with a demand for recompense.' I remained quiet, such was the dreadfulness of this. Jesus, in response to my unasked question said, 'They will be repaid for their deeds but they will spend time in purgatory learning about love and humility.' I was very aware that those climbing the mountain could rest in their obedience when they became tired or discouraged. They could actually lean back into it for a time until their courage returned. God is pleased with this."

Lay apostles, what are we binding on earth? Is it love, patience, service and humility? If it isn't, we have some work to do! I know I take my eyes off the mountain of holiness every once in a while, and when I do, my actions and decisions aren't stellar. Allowing the world to draw my attention away from the end goal (eternity with Christ) is usually short-lived. And when I can quickly get myself back on track, the world is a much kinder, peaceful place!

Thank you, Lord, for Your messages in the Volumes and the wisdom You have blessed Your servant Anne with. I wouldn't be who I am today without this mission!

God bless,
Bonnie

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

Don't ask me why the song "Changes" by David Bowie came to mind after reading the Gospel today (Matthew 18:1-5, 10, 12-14)! As I sit here contemplating the words below spoken by Christ, my thoughts are overwhelmed with our grandchildren . . . especially our newest additions Christian and Savannah (both about to turn 1 next month)! The first child is definitely a big change . . . but the second child, well, it's all about time management. Change is good. Upon occasion, the changes we need to make elicit groans of growing pains . . . getting out of our comfort zone to become wiser, holier. Changes Jesus asks of us require being childlike, not childish. It's time, lay apostles, to see our faith through the eyes of a child. It's time to change behaviors which lead us away from Christ.

The disciples approached Jesus and said, “Who is the greatest in the Kingdom of heaven?” He called a child over, placed it in their midst, and said, “Amen, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will not enter the Kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the Kingdom of heaven. And whoever receives one child such as this in my name receives me.

“See that you do not despise one of these little ones, for I say to you that their angels in heaven always look upon the face of my heavenly Father.”

In the October Monthly Message, Jesus asks us not to fear change:

"Dearest apostles, so brave, I am with you. I do not tell you that you will be overcome. I do not tell you that you have been given work that is impossible for you to complete. Those messages do not come from Me. Instead, I tell you that you will persevere and ultimately triumph. Our mission of mercy does not falter, even though the steps of my little apostles sometimes falter. This mission pushes through the world with a steadiness that defies all attempts against it. My apostles experience fear at times. This is not a problem for Me or this mission. Fear is to be expected. Bring your fear to Me and explain to Me exactly what threatens you. If you do this, I can remove your fear. I will convince you that in My presence, with My power, everything is possible. You have an expectation of your little boat crashing against rocks. I will never allow this. If I am steering the boat that is your work, you will be carried safely. Push on into each day with courage, understanding that while you may not be able, I am able. You may lack courage, but I have courage. You sometimes walk in darkness, but I have the light with which to see exactly where your footsteps are taking you. Dear apostles, it is a time for hard work, yes, but a time for great glory, also. Rejoice. I am with you."

Lay apostles, change can be scary! Questions of doubt will swirl. What is our life going to be like if we change this behavior or that behavior? How are others going to judge the "new" me? Can I handle the change? Can I stick to the change? The answer to all of the above is "yes!" We can do anything through Christ who is our strength!

Thank you, Lord, for the perseverance to fight through changes in my life. I feel secure knowing Your Hands are lovingly redirecting when necessary!

God bless,
Bonnie

Deciphering Scripture

A few years ago I had a "brain fart" after reading todays Gospel. (Ok, had to use one of the best lines from the movie GI Jane!) I struggled with its meaning and relating it to my life. Here it is from John 12:24-26:

Jesus said to his disciples: "Amen, amen, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains just a grain of wheat; but if it dies, it produces much fruit. Whoever loves his life loses it, and whoever hates his life in this world will preserve it for eternal life. Whoever serves me must follow me, and where I am, there also will my servant be.The Father will honor whoever serves me."

The part where my brain malfunctioned is bolded above. I didn't want to waste time deciphering what this meant and decided to email my priest. Right after I hit the send button, I reread the sentence again. Then it dawned on me. And, I emailed him again with this:

"So, if we love living here on earth too much, we fear dying and don't look forward to heaven. But if we focus on heaven, and anticipate the day we get there, we will have eternal life. Did I get it right?"

His response:

"Indeed!"

Now as I type this blog post and read that sentence again, it's perfectly clear. It's about climbing the mountain of holiness, with eyes looking toward heaven and not the world. It's about sacrifice, loneliness, being wronged and all other degrees of humility we endure on earth. But it's doing it and suffering through it knowing our reward when we die will be paradise . . . heaven. Our time on earth is so limited, I have a lot of catching up to do!

In Anne a lay apostle's book Climbing the Mountain, she describes unity to Christ in heaven and on earth:

“Truly, the Kingdom of God is within us because Jesus IS the Kingdom of God. I state clearly that in heaven, nobody reacts when Jesus enters an area. Some souls smiled at me or acknowledged me in welcome, but they did not acknowledge Jesus. I found this odd until I understood that Jesus never leaves any of these souls. The same way I experienced Him, they experienced Him. This is the sublime truth that can create peace in every soul. There is no restlessness, no hungering, no longing, no fear, no anxiety, and no disturbance possible when you are united to Jesus. And He is with you. On earth, we must believe this in faith. This is the treasure without price. Many souls on earth search frantically, looking for this state of mystical paradise. But, like Dorothy wearing the red shoes in the Wizard of Oz, this mystical state is with them all along and their search is doomed at its inception unless the soul looks within. If we begin our climb up the mountain of holiness each day, we will be accepting that Christ is within us. At the top of this mountain is unity with Jesus, yes, and that unity is a guaranteed thing if we desire it. The higher we climb, the more we labor for holiness and for the Kingdom on the path that He has marked out for us, and the more we honor Jesus within our souls.”

Lay apostles, don't waste another day wishing life was easier, we were richer, or others understood us better. Embrace the challenges we are presented with in life as just that . . . a challenge which will bring us closer to unity with Christ. Don't wait until diaster strikes to start praying. Start praying despite disaster striking. And, don't ever stop.

Thank you, Lord, for teaching me to walk with You through stormy weather despite the thunder claps and lightening bolts all around me. And, for the common sense not to hold an umbrella overhead where the strike could electrocute me!

God bless,
Bonnie

Suffer With A Smile

Humidity and flat ironed curly hair just don't mix. I leave the house with nice straight hair and within minutes I can feel my hair expanding . . . the image of Bozo the Clown comes to mind! ;-) Last year my beautiful 16 year old (at the time) niece arrived from Colorado to spend 11 days in sunny Florida. One night we took her to the beach for dinner . . . she hadn't seen a beach since she was about 2 years old. Her childlike excitement of stepping foot on the sand, searching for seashells and carefully watching for jelly fish washed ashore was enchanting. Despite the heat and quickly frizzing locks, God blessed us with a sunset we will all remember forever. It was spectacular! Since last summer, Maddy has been to School of Holiness in Ireland, and has learned to see others and situations through the Eyes of Christ. Times can be challenging and/or painful, but we must train ourselves to stay focused on Him. So, suffer with a smile . . . for His Gifts are all around us . . . all we have to do is remember to see the beauty.





In todays Gospel (Matthew 16:24-28), Jesus asks us to endure suffering on earth in His Name . . . and our reward will be great in heaven:

Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wishes to come after me must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. What profit would there be for one to gain the whole world and forfeit his life? Or what can one give in exchange for his life? For the Son of Man will come with his angels in his Father’s glory, and then he will repay each according to his conduct. Amen, I say to you, there are some standing here who will not taste death until they see the Son of Man coming in his Kingdom.”

In Volume Two, Jesus shows us by focusing on Him instead of ourselves, we can bring His love and kindness to others:

"If you are hurried, you will miss My cue and the soul will remain without necessary consolation and guidance. Children, this is the state of affairs all over your world at this time. Do you notice that loneliness and despair are everywhere? Children, you will not find loneliness and despair where I am. Indeed, even in the most wretched of circumstances, if I am present, you will see eyes that smile and offer kindness, and you will see great hope, even in the face of suffering and death. So what is missing in your world? I am missing. Few souls allow Me to work through them. When I am allowed, you will see hope begin to flourish again. Faces will be more at peace and joy will flow naturally from one soul to another. I will put such joy in your faces that you will be unable to conceal your unity with Me. Crosses will feel lighter and hold great meaning. Children, I have so much to offer you, both in these words and in My constant presence in your lives. So do not turn away, even for a day. Draw closer to Me, that We may proceed. What feels difficult to you, anticipating changes in your life, will come easily. That is another promise I make to you."

Lay apostles, how do you endure suffering? Loneliness? Tragedy? I used to try to handle it alone. Now, I couldn't do it without Him. Maybe it's my age . . . but I sure wish I would have had the Volumes 40 years ago. I would have smiled more.

Thank you, Lord, for teaching me to suffer with a smile. I haven't perfected it yet, but I am learning!

God bless,
Bonnie

Captive Body, Free Soul

This is a post I wrote a few years ago . . . and just wanted to resurrect it as it flows so perfectly with todays Gospel:

My younger sister began her nursing career in prison. No, she was not convicted of a crime. But took care of those who were. She has a very kind heart and found the population to be quite diverse. Some were angry and noncompliant; some quiet and manageable. There is one common denominator among all the prisoners—they are sinners just like those of us outside the walls of confinement. They are sinners that took it one step further, becoming captive behind bars. Despite their choices, they are still children of God and need our prayers.

Direction for Our Times is blessed with a woman named Mary Carter working with the prison ministry for this apostolate. I received a forwarded message from DFOT yesterday with the following statement from Mary:

"I got a very special phone call very late last night from one man who ministers at the Otero Federal Prison. He had distributed the latest order of DFOT booklets to the incarcerated along with vol 2 & vol 7. He was so filled with joy as the prisoners expressed their extreme gratitude. They all gathered together last night to pray for us! He said that when he used to go in to see the men, they would only want to do small talk, now they want to skip the small talk. They want to know more about Jesus. They want bibles and rosaries now too. (And we're talking hundreds and hundreds of men here!)

As for myself, I don't even know how to begin to express my gratitude for the support this apostolate has provided to help me in my outreach. I am speechless when I think of the sacrifice that some have had to go through to ensure I have the resources I need to distribute. May Jesus bless them doubly for their generosity. I love them with every fiber of my being."

Incredible, right? If you are interested in changing the lives of prisoners through Christ, here is a link to get you started: http://www.prisonfellowship.org/prison-fellowship-home

In todays Gospel (Matthew 15:21-28) we see the Canaanite woman demonstrate her belief Jesus is the Messiah, not losing hope for her daughter's healing:

At that time Jesus withdrew to the region of Tyre and Sidon. And behold, a Canaanite woman of that district came and called out, "Have pity on me, Lord, Son of David! My daughter is tormented by a demon." But he did not say a word in answer to her. His disciples came and asked him, "Send her away, for she keeps calling out after us." He said in reply, "I was sent only to the lost sheep of the house of Israel." But the woman came and did him homage, saying, "Lord, help me." He said in reply, "It is not right to take the food of the children and throw it to the dogs." She said, "Please, Lord, for even the dogs eat the scraps that fall from the table of their masters." Then Jesus said to her in reply, "O woman, great is your faith! Let it be done for you as you wish." And her daughter was healed from that hour.

In the booklet Heaven Speaks to Prisoners, Jesus consoles those isolated from society without hope:

“I wish to talk to those imprisoned, for any reason. Dear brothers and sisters, your Christian family needs you. Your prayers, your sacrifices have great power. If you unite your suffering to Me, I can use it to save many souls. For example, if you offer Me each day, I will take your offering and I will use it to soften the hearts of your family members who are separated from you. I will use your offering to undo any damage that your sins may have caused. I do not need to say that I will work miracles in your soul. I do not need to say that because you know this. It is part of My promise to all lay apostles. You have not lived a perfect life, whether or not you are guilty of the crimes for which you have been accused. Even if those crimes were not at issue, you have not been perfect. How do I know that? I will tell you. No man or woman is perfect. All are sinners. In My eyes, this makes you no worse than someone who is not imprisoned. Do you understand? You may feel the eyes of the world upon you in condemnation, but in the eyes of heaven you do not stand out. You are My friend. I am your friend. There are many souls not in prison, who are far guiltier than you. You are cherished and it is that which I have come to tell you. Rest your head against Me, your Jesus, and I will heal you.”

Lay apostles, as difficult as it may be praying for those incarcerated, they need the healing graces of Jesus. In your daily prayers, add a special intention for those in prison. Our Lord will take those prayers and put them to good use.

Thank you, Lord, for people like Mary Carter who love the hardest to love by spreading Your messages in the Volumes and Heaven Speaks booklets. Please bless the prison ministry with funding to continue this important task and remind prisoners although their bodies are captive, their souls are free to love and heal.

God bless,
Bonnie

Have You Conquered Your Biggest Fear?

Fear and trembling. Sheer terror. The sound of the most unforgettable musical score—the charging shark's rhythmic, escalating two notes—da dum, da dum . . . Most of us from the mid-70’s know it well. ‘Jaws’ singlehandedly caused an acute awareness of things swimming around in the ocean. Things that could bite me in half. I was thirteen years old living in southern California when I saw the movie. As a child I grew up near the Atlantic Ocean in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. I had been stung by a man ‘o war, thrown around by huge waves, and still never hesitated running through the sand hurling myself into the surf. Yet, after seeing this movie, I could barely stand in ankle-deep water. This fear turned into a phobia. Small fish swimming in schools would cause me to run for the safety of my towel. I was at the beach almost every afternoon when I started driving. Friends would be frolicking in the water, flirting the surfers while I “worked on my tan.”

In February of 2009, I had the opportunity to visit Oahu, Hawaii. On the flight to Hawaii, I had brought Volumes Seven, Nine and Ten. I wanted to become familiar with the contents of each in order to guide others in the future. The overall message I was getting was, have no fear. Trust Jesus. So I began thinking . . . the closer I get to Jesus and His Sacred Heart, the less I fear. Hmmm . . . what scares me? Not death. Not loss. Something to ponder. In the airport, walking to baggage claim, I saw a brochure with a white sandy beach on the cover. I grabbed it and threw it in my purse. On the drive to the hotel, I saw it. A full page ad in the brochure. In big yellow letters it beckoned: SWIM WITH THE SHARKS! Hawaii Shark Encounters. The biggest and safest shark cages in Hawaii. As seen on ESPN, Animal Planet, CNN.com, National Geographic, etc. Yes! My biggest fear, sharks! St. Gertrude spoke to me about fear in Volume Seven. I got it! I needed to face my biggest fear and TRUST JESUS! The adventure was booked!

Sleep didn’t come easily the night before. Anticipation of being surrounded by sharks crept into my dreams, waking me abruptly a couple of times through the night. Would a shark jump over the top of the cage and get in? Could they get through the bars? Over and over my mind replayed all the possible scenarios. I prayed most of the 45 minute drive to the North Shore. We arrived early for our excursion, giving us time to walk around and explore the area. As our boat pulled into the dock, I repeated over and over, ‘I trust You, Jesus.’ By the time I stepped foot on the boat, I felt calm. Chris and Phil, our guides, went over the rules, one of which was not to pet the sharks or let your hands or feet drift outside the cage. Our appendages look a lot like the bait they use to attract the sharks. Still calm, good. Typically when scooting through the water at high speeds and big swells, I panic. My mind immediately plays the scenario: high swells, the boat tips, I am in the water with sharks. The fear is paralyzing. But, not this time. As we hit the swells, I just held on, enjoying the scenery. We were heading three miles out to water 500 feet deep. As we approached the permanent buoy, two whales appeared about 200 feet from our boat. Our guides told us it was rare to see them this time of year in Hawaii. Then the sharks appeared, swimming around our boat. We were told the vibration of the boat attracted them. They knew they would be fed. Bait, of course.

After instructions and without hesitation, I went to the ladder. As I descended, I was having a conversation with Jesus the whole time. ‘If You want me to die in a shark attack, Your will be done.’ Down I went and was face to face with a 12 foot Galapogas shark. It was beautiful. I was able to look at it as one of God’s creatures, not a maneater. At one point, there had to be at least 15 to 20 sharks circling the cage. I did it. I conquered my biggest fear. Letting go and trusting God by accepting any outcome is incredibly freeing.

Just as I trusted Jesus in the shark cage, Peter had to trust and believe in our Savior as in the Gospel today (Matthew 14:22-36):

Jesus made the disciples get into a boat and precede him to the other side of the sea, while he dismissed the crowds. After doing so, he went up on the mountain by himself to pray. When it was evening he was there alone.Meanwhile the boat, already a few miles offshore, was being tossed about by the waves, for the wind was against it. During the fourth watch of the night,he came toward them, walking on the sea. When the disciples saw him walking on the sea they were terrified. "It is a ghost," they said, and they cried out in fear. At once Jesus spoke to them, "Take courage, it is I; do not be afraid." Peter said to him in reply, "Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water." He said, "Come." Peter got out of the boat and began to walk on the water toward Jesus. But when he saw how strong the wind was he became frightened; and, beginning to sink, he cried out, "Lord, save me!"Immediately Jesus stretched out his hand and caught him, and said to him, "O you of little faith, why did you doubt?" After they got into the boat, the wind died down. Those who were in the boat did him homage, saying, "Truly, you are the Son of God."

In Anne a lay apostle’s book Whispers from the Cross, she teaches us about Our Lady’s determination to inspire complete trust in her Son:

“Above ground a battle is being waged that is fierce and very ugly, really ugly but Our Lady’s gaze at the Father remains steady and the graces continue to be drawn out into the land. Our Lady is not afraid at all. ‘Determined’ would be a good way to describe her. Seeing this about her gives me great strength and courage because I can see that this is how it is done. Eyes on the Father, let the storm rage around you and trust in the ultimate triumph of goodness over evil. The prayers affect how it will be done and how quickly it will be accomplished but Our Lady, and by extension all of us, will win in the end.”

Lay apostles, think about your biggest fear. Then, think about facing it with Jesus. Much easier when you let Him be in control, accepting any outcome to be His. After all, the likelihood of being attacked by a shark is minute compared to being attacked by the evil one. Time to suit up with that spiritual armor and conquer all your fears.

Thank you, Lord, for teaching me how to be fearless with You by my side. Not sure I want to attempt to actually swim in open waters with sharks just yet, but Your Will be done!

God bless,
Bonnie

August 1st Monthly Message!

We continue our cycle of monthly messages for 2015 with the message from August 1, 2007 for our prayer groups and personal reflection.  

Jesus
  
A small child often prays that God will help him to be good. This prayer is pleasing to God. Indeed, which prayer is more pleasing? A child prays this prayer in humility and simplicity from a pure heart seeking even greater purity. It is this purity of heart that all apostles must seek. Each day should be filled with brief prayers of this kind. If an apostle wishes to reside with the Father, that apostle must become the child of the Father. God has no equal. Do not seek greatness. Seek goodness. My beloved ones, you know that I love you and that I am grateful for your service. You know that I am pleased with your progress. Do you wonder why your Jesus calls you constantly further into holiness? Do I do this for My benefit? Yes. I do. I take great joy in seeing you advance, it is true. And yet, it is for your own personal benefit, also, that I call you to strive for higher heights. I want you to become as holy as you can. As your holiness increases, my friends, so does your peace. As your peace increases, so does the peace in this world. It is for many reasons, all similar to these, that I beckon you to come further and further into My heart. You are called to come closer to Me and move further from distractions. You turn your face toward heaven and in doing so you turn your face away from the world, which seeks to draw you away from Me. For today, pledge your allegiance to the Father and then strive to become holier. “Father, help me to be good.” In each moment of your life there is an opportunity for goodness. Find the opportunities and try. Exert yourself, my beloved ones. Work for your holiness. If you were participating in a game, you would try to win. I want you to participate in your movement to holiness. I want you to make efforts throughout each day to choose the holiest course. I am with you in each moment, helping you. If you, my beloved apostles, will work with Me to become holier, I can reach others through you. But that is My affair. Your affair is to try to become as holy as possible. Have no fear. You are loved.