Tuesday, March 29, 2016

It's Hard To Let Go of the Past

Do you ever think about wasted time? Well, today I am. And I have to admit, I could have planned my life, thus far, a little better. But then, planning that far in advance is not what Jesus wants for His Children. He asks us to stay in the present . . . to do everything to the best of our ability right now, in this moment. No looking back. Someone once told me to look at my life as my "journey," and to stop referring to my "failures." I heard a great quote from Zig Ziglar the other day. "Failure is an event, not a person." I figure that if I failed at something, it means at least I tried to succeed. God uses every moment we have to teach us . . . so no more wasted time. Just time to learn.

Todays Gospel (John 20: 11-18) finds the Resurrected Jesus urging Mary Magdalene not to waste time:

Mary Magdalene stayed outside the tomb weeping. And as she wept, she bent over into the tomb and saw two angels in white sitting there, one at the head and one at the feet where the Body of Jesus had been. And they said to her, “Woman, why are you weeping?” She said to them, “They have taken my Lord, and I don’t know where they laid him.” When she had said this, she turned around and saw Jesus there, but did not know it was Jesus. Jesus said to her, “Woman, why are you weeping? Whom are you looking for?” She thought it was the gardener and said to him, “Sir, if you carried him away, tell me where you laid him, and I will take him.” Jesus said to her, “Mary!” She turned and said to him in Hebrew, “Rabbouni,” 
which means Teacher. Jesus said to her, “Stop holding on to me, for I have not yet ascended to the Father. But go to my brothers and tell them, ‘I am going to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God.’” Mary went and announced to the disciples, “I have seen the Lord,” and then reported what he had told her.


In Volume Three, God the Father directs us to focus on Him:

"At times in the history of mankind, most souls on earth were moving in the general direction of heaven. At this time, most souls are languishing along the way. Many are wasting their time on earth and are not coming in this direction at all. In this way, souls are lost. As a God of mercy, I send all manner of signs and warnings. In this time, however, most of My signs are being ignored. Such is the level of distraction, that My souls no sooner see a sign and experience  My call, then they allow themselves to be distracted and pulled back into the world. Children, pay attention. You must focus on Me and on your path. You must be disciplined if you are to remain on the path to salvation. And believe Me when I say that all other roads lead nowhere. My children belong with each other, loving Me. Hear My call of love, now, while I can offer you a soft and gentle transition to holiness. There is coming a time, as you have been told, when the transition will only be possible with violence. It will be a shock to you if you do not respond now. Children, if you are not following My words, if you are not united with Me, if you do not acknowledge and respect My dominion over both you and your world, you are going to be uncomfortable and frightened. These times are over. My time is coming. There will be gladness, it is true. It is what My children have prayed for. But change is difficult for those without a firm understanding and belief in the next world. If you were asked to hand your life to Me this day, and account for it fully, how would you feel?"

Lay apostles, read the Bible. Read the Volumes. Focus on Him and there will be no wasted time. 

Thank you, Lord, for the lessons and challenges in my life. Help me to use my time wisely, for Your Glory!

God bless,
Bonnie

Monday, March 28, 2016

From Little White Lies . . .

A few years ago, Jay and I met one of his old MBA professors from FGCU for lunch. Conversation never lagged and time flew by quickly. He knew I was in the process of publishing my book (Can You Text Me Directions?) and we began to discuss the mission (Direction for Our Times) on which I have based my books. I don't remember how the flow of conversation shifted to "lying," but he told us of an experiment he challenged his students with one semester. First, he asked the class, "How many of you tell lies?" Hardly any hands went up. Then he assigned a project. They were to keep a journal for one week and write down every time they told a lie, big or small . . . anything that wasn't the truth. At the end of the week, the students were to bring in their journal. The conclusion of almost every student? They were shocked how many times they lied during the week! From little white lies such as "I'm not feeling well" when they didn't want to accept an invitation to go out somewhere . . . to lies about their whereabouts when asked. Just as the chief priests told the soldiers to lie about the Resurrection of Christ, we tend to deny the Truth of His Resurrection at times . . . is it out of fear that we deny Him? It's time to be bold and proclaim His Glory, lay apostles. 

In todays Gospel (Matthew 28: 8-15), the lies of the chief priests do no one any good:


Mary Magdalene and the other Mary went away quickly from the tomb, fearful yet overjoyed,
and ran to announce the news to his disciples. And behold, Jesus met them on their way and greeted them. They approached, embraced his feet, and did him homage. Then Jesus said to them, “Do not be afraid. Go tell my brothers to go to Galilee, and there they will see me.”

While they were going, some of the guard went into the city and told the chief priests all that had happened. The chief priests assembled with the elders and took counsel; then they gave a large sum of money to the soldiers, telling them, “You are to say, ‘His disciples came by night and stole him while we were asleep.’ And if this gets to the ears of the governor, we will satisfy him and keep you out of trouble.” The soldiers took the money and did as they were instructed. And this story has circulated among the Jews to the present day.


In Anne a lay apostle's book Whispers From the Cross, she asks us to remember not to fear the Truth:


"We must never reject the beautiful lessons God wishes to teach us. We should instead view everything as training and tuition and accept that only through learning today’s lesson will we be fit for tomorrow’s service. So expect persecutions. Expect lies to be told and distortions to erupt. Christ will never allow the enemy to overcome us! If we feel overcome, so be it. God is not overcome. God’s plan for Jesus was perfect and it included His Passion and death. What do we fear? Similar treatment? Think of our brothers, Saints Peter and Paul. They viewed such treatments as a privilege and so must we."


Lay apostles, take time to think about the little "white lies" we hear and tell on a daily basis. Next time the temptation arises, remember lies are not of Christ. 

Thank you, Lord, for guiding me to the Truth. Help me to remember not to fear!

God bless,
Bonnie

Sunday, March 27, 2016

Easter 2016 - HE IS RISEN!

Happy Easter, lay apostles! My Lenten journey brought peace and patience . . . but it doesn't stop here. I intend to continue my journey with the Risen Jesus now. If it's even possible, I fall more in love with Him every day. The more I trust Him, the more I feel His guidance and love. This is a day to rejoice, my friends! But don't forget His Passion in everyday crosses we bear. Remember, our physical death on earth is our first day we will see Our Sweet Jesus!

In todays Gospel (John 20:1-9), I can imagine the confusion of the disciples, not yet grasping the Resurrection:

On the first day of the week, Mary of Magdala came to the tomb early in the morning, while it was still dark,  and saw the stone removed from the tomb. So she ran and went to Simon Peter  and to the other disciple whom Jesus loved, and told them,  “They have taken the Lord from the tomb, and we don’t know where they put him.” So Peter and the other disciple went out and came to the tomb. They both ran, but the other disciple ran faster than Peter  and arrived at the tomb first;  he bent down and saw the burial cloths there, but did not go in.

When Simon Peter arrived after him, he went into the tomb and saw the burial cloths there,  and the cloth that had covered his head,  not with the burial cloths but rolled up in a separate place. Then the other disciple also went in, the one who had arrived at the tomb first, and he saw and believed. For they did not yet understand the Scripture that he had to rise from the dead.

In Anne a lay apostle's book Climbing the Mountain, she describes one of her experiences of heaven, perfect for this Easter Sunday:

"We went through heaven via the same route. I felt joy and freedom. The greatest joy is asking Jesus questions. We turned right sooner than the Passion and I saw yet another vast structure. Jesus told me that this was the house of the Resurrection. He asked me to describe what I saw.

I saw millions of souls in rapture. They were riveted to the raised area in the front. I saw Jesus there. He looked similar to the Divine Mercy image only real. His hair was dark brown, it seemed to me. He was beautiful. He was love. All souls looked on Him and I understood that they had completed the study of the Passion. These souls were enraptured. There was another area and I asked Jesus what was there. He explained that His tomb was there. As I understand it, you can revisit the whole experience. In looking at these souls I was struck that they were in complete communion with Jesus. They were in Easter Sunday joy. It also ran through my head that some of them were there for millions of years. That was the longest time I could humanly attach to it. They were not bored. They were in ecstasy. The term millions of years means nothing, of course. It’s just my way of saying a really long time. Jesus said, “Anne, this is important. These souls have entered into the mystery of the Resurrection. The greatest understanding of man on earth cannot compare to the smallest kernel of understanding in heaven. With understanding comes joy and wonder and reverence. It is for this reason souls gaze so long upon the Risen Christ.  I make all of this available in heaven and souls come here often. Souls are welcome to rest in any of the heavenly mysteries. All is understood here. All is accepted. All is just. Souls feel only peace.”"

Enjoy your day today, lay apostles. Know Our Lord and Savior died so we could live. Work as hard for Him as He did for us. He is worth it all!

Thank you, Lord, for sacrificing so much for me (and all Your Children). Help me to stay in a Lenten frame of mind . . . always!

God bless,

Bonnie

Saturday, March 26, 2016

Holy Saturday

Today is a day of waiting . . . waiting for our Risen Christ. Waiting for a new season of hope. We are an Easter people, and tomorrow is a grand celebration. May you all have a holy and blessed Easter.   

Todays Gospel (Luke 24:1-12) shows even those closest to Christ still had some doubt:

At daybreak on the first day of the week  the women who had come from Galilee with Jesus  took the spices they had prepared and went to the tomb. They found the stone rolled away from the tomb; but when they entered, they did not find the body of the Lord Jesus. While they were puzzling over this, behold, two men in dazzling garments appeared to them. They were terrified and bowed their faces to the ground.  They said to them, “Why do you seek the living one among the dead? He is not here, but he has been raised. Remember what he said to you while he was still in Galilee, that the Son of Man must be handed over to sinners and be crucified, and rise on the third day.” And they remembered his words. Then they returned from the tomb and announced all these things to the eleven and to all the others. The women were Mary Magdalene, Joanna, and Mary the mother of James; the others who accompanied them also told this to the apostles, but their story seemed like nonsense and they did not believe them. But Peter got up and ran to the tomb, bent down, and saw the burial cloths alone; then he went home amazed at what had happened.

In Anne a lay apostle's book Serving in Clarity, she suggests we must seek to understand:

"With obedience comes humility and with humility comes obedience. You might say one feeds the other. Again, this does not mean we cannot question decisions or requests. It is normal to seek clarity when we do not understand. But we must do so respectfully, mindful of the presence of God in others and careful not to influence others to doubt. Those who challenge in arrogance know what I am saying and those whose spirit is false and duplicitous are known to God. How often the enemy speaks with pretend innocence and with no intention of accepting God’s clarity. How often the enemy sets up a holy man for ambush. The enemy thinks he is very clever indeed but God reads souls, my friends. He knows what is in our hearts. Now, if we are quite certain that a given human authority claiming to represent the Church has it wrong, clearly we have a dilemma and because we are dealing with humanity this can happen. In such times we must be very prayerful, saying, “Jesus, surely You are aware that You have a problem here.” We must speak our conscience honestly, respectfully and privately to the authority in question and then leave the Lord to get on with His job, continuing on our walk to personal holiness via the path of obedience. Spiritual direction in these situations is invaluable." 

Lay apostles, think about the apostles and followers of Jesus today and what they must have been experiencing finding the tomb empty.  Celebrate tomorrow as they did when Jesus appeared to them. 

Thank you, Lord, for giving me hope and faith. Tomorrow will truly be a celebration!

God bless,

Bonnie

Friday, March 25, 2016

Good Friday

A few years ago I was talking with my youngest daughter Taylor while we babysat my grandson Colton. I looked at this baby boy and thought about Jesus. I asked Taylor if she could imagine the anguish our Blessed Mother must have felt watching her Baby Boy be tortured. It brought tears to our eyes. This morning, as we think about Our Savior facing this day over 2,000 years ago, we must offer Our Lady sympathy for the pain she endured watching her Son scourged, then nailed to a tree, dying a criminal's death. Thank Our Lord for enduring such terror for us. 

Todays Gospel (John 18:1-19, 42) takes my breath away . . . and the reason I pray the Sorrowful Mysteries for almost every Rosary I pray. There is nothing I suffer even close to what Jesus suffered. Read this and you will understand the sacrifice He made for us:

Jesus went out with his disciples across the Kidron valley  to where there was a garden,  into which he and his disciples entered. Judas his betrayer also knew the place,  because Jesus had often met there with his disciples. So Judas got a band of soldiers and guards  from the chief priests and the Pharisees  and went there with lanterns, torches, and weapons. Jesus, knowing everything that was going to happen to him,  went out and said to them, “Whom are you looking for?” They answered him, “Jesus the Nazorean.” He said to them, “I AM.” Judas his betrayer was also with them. When he said to them, “I AM, “  they turned away and fell to the ground. So he again asked them, “Whom are you looking for?” They said, “Jesus the Nazorean.” Jesus answered, “I told you that I AM. So if you are looking for me, let these men go.” This was to fulfill what he had said,  “I have not lost any of those you gave me.” Then Simon Peter, who had a sword, drew it,  struck the high priest’s slave, and cut off his right ear. The slave’s name was Malchus. Jesus said to Peter, “Put your sword into its scabbard. Shall I not drink the cup that the Father gave me?”

So the band of soldiers, the tribune, and the Jewish guards seized Jesus, bound him, and brought him to Annas first. He was the father-in-law of Caiaphas, who was high priest that year. It was Caiaphas who had counseled the Jews that it was better that one man should die rather than the people.

Simon Peter and another disciple followed Jesus. Now the other disciple was known to the high priest,  and he entered the courtyard of the high priest with Jesus. But Peter stood at the gate outside. So the other disciple, the acquaintance of the high priest,  went out and spoke to the gatekeeper and brought Peter in. Then the maid who was the gatekeeper said to Peter,  “You are not one of this man’s disciples, are you?” He said, “I am not.” Now the slaves and the guards were standing around a charcoal fire that they had made, because it was cold, and were warming themselves. Peter was also standing there keeping warm.

The high priest questioned Jesus  about his disciples and about his doctrine. Jesus answered him, “I have spoken publicly to the world. I have always taught in a synagogue  or in the temple area where all the Jews gather,  and in secret I have said nothing. Why ask me? Ask those who heard me what I said to them. They know what I said.” When he had said this,  one of the temple guards standing there struck Jesus and said,  “Is this the way you answer the high priest?” Jesus answered him, “If I have spoken wrongly, testify to the wrong; but if I have spoken rightly, why do you strike me?” Then Annas sent him bound to Caiaphas the high priest.

Now Simon Peter was standing there keeping warm. And they said to him, “You are not one of his disciples, are you?” He denied it and said, “I am not.” One of the slaves of the high priest,  a relative of the one whose ear Peter had cut off, said,  “Didn’t I see you in the garden with him?” Again Peter denied it. And immediately the cock crowed.

Then they brought Jesus from Caiaphas to the praetorium. It was morning. And they themselves did not enter the praetorium,  in order not to be defiled so that they could eat the Passover. So Pilate came out to them and said,  “What charge do you bring against this man?” They answered and said to him, “If he were not a criminal,  we would not have handed him over to you.” At this, Pilate said to them,  “Take him yourselves, and judge him according to your law.” The Jews answered him,  “We do not have the right to execute anyone, “ in order that the word of Jesus might be fulfilled that he said indicating the kind of death he would die. So Pilate went back into the praetorium and summoned Jesus and said to him,  “Are you the King of the Jews?” Jesus answered, “Do you say this on your own  or have others told you about me?” Pilate answered, “I am not a Jew, am I? Your own nation and the chief priests handed you over to me. What have you done?” Jesus answered, “My kingdom does not belong to this world. If my kingdom did belong to this world, my attendants would be fighting  to keep me from being handed over to the Jews. But as it is, my kingdom is not here.” So Pilate said to him, “Then you are a king?” Jesus answered, “You say I am a king. For this I was born and for this I came into the world,  to testify to the truth. Everyone who belongs to the truth listens to my voice.” Pilate said to him, “What is truth?”

When he had said this, he again went out to the Jews and said to them, “I find no guilt in him. But you have a custom that I release one prisoner to you at Passover. Do you want me to release to you the King of the Jews?” They cried out again, “Not this one but Barabbas!” Now Barabbas was a revolutionary.

Then Pilate took Jesus and had him scourged. And the soldiers wove a crown out of thorns and placed it on his head, and clothed him in a purple cloak, and they came to him and said, “Hail, King of the Jews!” And they struck him repeatedly. Once more Pilate went out and said to them,  “Look, I am bringing him out to you,  so that you may know that I find no guilt in him.” So Jesus came out,  wearing the crown of thorns and the purple cloak. And he said to them, “Behold, the man!” When the chief priests and the guards saw him they cried out,  “Crucify him, crucify him!” Pilate said to them, “Take him yourselves and crucify him. I find no guilt in him.” The Jews answered,  “We have a law, and according to that law he ought to die,  because he made himself the Son of God.” Now when Pilate heard this statement, he became even more afraid,  and went back into the praetorium and said to Jesus, “Where are you from?” Jesus did not answer him. So Pilate said to him, “Do you not speak to me? Do you not know that I have power to release you  and I have power to crucify you?” Jesus answered him, “You would have no power over me  if it had not been given to you from above. For this reason the one who handed me over to you has the greater sin.” Consequently, Pilate tried to release him; but the Jews cried out,  “If you release him, you are not a Friend of Caesar. Everyone who makes himself a king opposes Caesar.”

When Pilate heard these words he brought Jesus out  and seated him on the judge’s bench  in the place called Stone Pavement, in Hebrew, Gabbatha. It was preparation day for Passover, and it was about noon. And he said to the Jews, “Behold, your king!” They cried out, “Take him away, take him away! Crucify him!” Pilate said to them, “Shall I crucify your king?” The chief priests answered, “We have no king but Caesar.” Then he handed him over to them to be crucified.

So they took Jesus, and, carrying the cross himself,  he went out to what is called the Place of the Skull,  in Hebrew, Golgotha. There they crucified him, and with him two others,  one on either side, with Jesus in the middle. Pilate also had an inscription written and put on the cross. It read, “Jesus the Nazorean, the King of the Jews.” Now many of the Jews read this inscription,  because the place where Jesus was crucified was near the city;  and it was written in Hebrew, Latin, and Greek. So the chief priests of the Jews said to Pilate,  “Do not write ‘The King of the Jews,’ but that he said, ‘I am the King of the Jews’.” Pilate answered, “What I have written, I have written.”

When the soldiers had crucified Jesus, they took his clothes and divided them into four shares, a share for each soldier. They also took his tunic, but the tunic was seamless,  woven in one piece from the top down. So they said to one another,  “Let’s not tear it, but cast lots for it to see whose it will be, “ in order that the passage of Scripture might be fulfilled that says: They divided my garments among them, and for my vesture they cast lots. This is what the soldiers did. Standing by the cross of Jesus were his mother and his mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary of Magdala. When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple there whom he loved he said to his mother, “Woman, behold, your son.” Then he said to the disciple, “Behold, your mother.” And from that hour the disciple took her into his home.

After this, aware that everything was now finished,  in order that the Scripture might be fulfilled,  Jesus said, “I thirst.” There was a vessel filled with common wine. So they put a sponge soaked in wine on a sprig of hyssop and put it up to his mouth. When Jesus had taken the wine, he said, “It is finished.” And bowing his head, he handed over the spirit.

Here all kneel and pause for a short time.

Now since it was preparation day, in order that the bodies might not remain on the cross on the sabbath, for the sabbath day of that week was a solemn one,  the Jews asked Pilate that their legs be broken and that they be taken down. So the soldiers came and broke the legs of the first and then of the other one who was crucified with Jesus. But when they came to Jesus and saw that he was already dead, they did not break his legs, but one soldier thrust his lance into his side, and immediately blood and water flowed out. An eyewitness has testified, and his testimony is true; he knows that he is speaking the truth,  so that you also may come to believe. For this happened so that the Scripture passage might be fulfilled: Not a bone of it will be broken. And again another passage says: They will look upon him whom they have pierced.

After this, Joseph of Arimathea,  secretly a disciple of Jesus for fear of the Jews,  asked Pilate if he could remove the body of Jesus. And Pilate permitted it. So he came and took his body. Nicodemus, the one who had first come to him at night,  also came bringing a mixture of myrrh and aloes weighing about one hundred pounds. They took the body of Jesus and bound it with burial cloths along with the spices, according to the Jewish burial custom. Now in the place where he had been crucified there was a garden, and in the garden a new tomb, in which no one had yet been buried. So they laid Jesus there because of the Jewish preparation day; for the tomb was close by.

In Volume One, Anne a lay apostle describes one Good Friday she experienced, learning the value of suffering for Jesus:

"On Good Friday, for example, I was in my own spiritual and personal anguish and was going to take a bath after a long, long, horrid day filled with all manner of suffering. I ran the water in the bathroom, and I heard Him calling me to kneel down and say the Sorrowful Mysteries. I tried to ignore Him. I mean, I have to stress the dreadfulness of the day, which had been offered up for my Jesus. I went back into the bathroom and interiorly heard Him give an anguished, tortured call to me to come and comfort Him. It was from a soul, a person, a human in agony. I went back into my bedroom and knelt down and said the Rosary as best I could, given my fatigue. Afterwards I went in to take a bath and He called me again. Like an overdone mother I glanced at Him interiorly as if to say, “Are You kidding me?” And He said, “Now it is My turn to comfort you. You left too quickly.” I went back and knelt down and we conversed about suffering and its value. Afterwards I was peaceful, trusting that He would lift my difficulties when He desired. The point of that story is that He listens to the prayers, as He did that night. He listened to my Rosary and only then did He move to speak with me. Based on my experience of God’s goodness, He only wanted to comfort me, and His cry of anguish was the only way to get me back to Him to pray. Had He prompted me saying, “I want to comfort you,” I would have said, “Forget it, Jesus. It’s all for You,” really being just too tired and despondent to interact. I’m not expressing this well. He used His anguish to comfort me. This is what He does."

Lay apostles, make this day calm and contemplative. Continually thank Jesus for His suffering. Thank Him for your life.

Thank you, Lord, for dying so my sins would be forgiven. Thank you, Blessed Mother, for enduring the suffering watching your Son must have caused in your heart.

God bless,

Bonnie

Thursday, March 24, 2016

Holy Thursday - Service To Others

Waitressing has to be one of the most difficult jobs on this earth. It requires a ton of humility as some patrons command you cower to their needs. My short stint as a waitress at Denny's while in high school helped shape my awareness and thankfulness to those who serve on a daily basis. Quite the rebellious teen, I didn't handle rude people very well. But I never expressed my "pissed offness" to the customer's face. A very experienced waitress training me seriously expressed how to handle rude customers . . . behind the scenes. I know you know where this is going . . . not something I'm proud of, but man, sure felt good at the time. I won't go into detail, but watching a jerk drink the coffee I added an "extra something" to gave me such pleasure! Of course, shame on the waitress for teaching me at an early age about revenge.  So, what did I take away from this experience? I always try to be kind to those who serve me. And I try to serve others to the best of my ability. The next time you find yourself beginning to take your bad mood out on the hard working waitress (or waiter), remember my blog post today. And, for heaven's sake, be kind! We are all the same underneath, and have chosen paths that lead to where we are today. 

Todays Gospel (John 13:1-15) immediately makes me think of Pope Francis and his Christlike behavior . . . behavior every priest and lay person should emulate:

Before the feast of Passover, Jesus knew that his hour had come to pass from this world to the Father. He loved his own in the world and he loved them to the end. The devil had already induced Judas, son of Simon the Iscariot, to hand him over. So, during supper,  fully aware that the Father had put everything into his power and that he had come from God and was returning to God,  he rose from supper and took off his outer garments. He took a towel and tied it around his waist. Then he poured water into a basin  and began to wash the disciples’ feet  and dry them with the towel around his waist. He came to Simon Peter, who said to him,  “Master, are you going to wash my feet?” Jesus answered and said to him, “What I am doing, you do not understand now, but you will understand later.” Peter said to him, “You will never wash my feet.” Jesus answered him, “Unless I wash you, you will have no inheritance with me.” Simon Peter said to him,  “Master, then not only my feet, but my hands and head as well.” Jesus said to him,  “Whoever has bathed has no need except to have his feet washed, for he is clean all over;  so you are clean, but not all.” For he knew who would betray him; for this reason, he said, “Not all of you are clean.”

So when he had washed their feet  and put his garments back on and reclined at table again, he said to them, “Do you realize what I have done for you? You call me ‘teacher’ and ‘master,’ and rightly so, for indeed I am. If I, therefore, the master and teacher, have washed your feet,  you ought to wash one another’s feet. I have given you a model to follow,  so that as I have done for you, you should also do.”

In the Monthly Message of May 2006, Jesus asks us to commit to our "jobs" every day with kindness and humility:

"Do not think that your Jesus misunderstands the difficulty associated with suffering. Always consider the suffering I accepted in the world, on the cross in My final hours of course, but also throughout My life. I did not spend My time on earth in comfort and leisure. I worked hard each day and often did without things that souls today take for granted. Consider My life on earth in its entirety. Dearest apostle, My friend, I lived as quietly as possible. I prayed for you every day. I offered comfort and assistance to others in pain or in need. I committed Myself to My duty each day and never deviated from My responsibilities. I did this because I knew that you would benefit from a model to follow. You see, I spent each day on earth aware of your life. When I was tempted to become disheartened, I thought of you, struggling, and I disciplined Myself to be brave and hopeful. I offered My struggles to God the Father and asked that in return, He grant you graces of courage and hope. I did not waste any time on earth, My beloved."

Lay apostles, how do you treat those who serve you? Realize they go home to a family, a sick child, a lonely empty home, an abusive relationship. Most of us work very hard at our jobs, and don't need the added pressure of condemnation. So, give the hardworking waitress a little extra if she/he served you well. And remember, service to others is what Christ is all about.

God bless,

Bonnie

Wednesday, March 23, 2016

Wednesday of Holy Week: Judas Was Not the Nicest Apostle

Let’s start with a quick poll: Hands up anybody who has never felt betrayed or let down before. Did you put your hand up? If so, Congratulations! You are probably the only person ever in the history of the world who doesn’t know what that feels like. Betrayal is possibly one of the hardest experiences that we can live through. If you’ve ever been disappointed by another in this way (and we’ve established that the odds aren’t good that you haven’t), you know what I’m talking about. The pain is much worse when the person who turned against you was someone you never would have expected to hurt you. To be scorned and disrespected by someone who was supposed to love you is one of the greatest shocks I think there is. 

In today’s Gospel (Matthew 26:14-25), we are shown that Jesus Himself was no stranger to the concept of disloyalty.

One of the Twelve, who was called Judas Iscariot, went to the chief priests and said, “What are you willing to give me if I hand him over to you?” They paid him thirty pieces of silver, and from that time on he looked for an opportunity to hand him over.

On the first day of the Feast of Unleavened Bread, the disciples approached Jesus and said, “Where do you want us to prepare for you to eat the Passover?” He said, “Go into the city to a certain man and tell him, ‘The teacher says, As My appointed time draws near;  in your house I shall celebrate the Passover with my disciples.”‘“The disciples then did as Jesus had ordered, and prepared the Passover.

When it was evening, he reclined at table with the Twelve. And while they were eating, he said,  “Amen, I say to you, one of you will betray me.” Deeply distressed at this, they began to say to him one after another, “Surely it is not I, Lord?” He said in reply, “He who has dipped his hand into the dish with me is the one who will betray me. The Son of Man indeed goes, as it is written of him, but woe to that man by whom the Son of Man is betrayed. It would be better for that man if he had never been born.” Then Judas, his betrayer, said in reply, “Surely it is not I, Rabbi?” He answered, “You have said so.”

Let this sink in for a moment. Jesus, the Son of God, the most awesome Person who ever walked the planet (except maybe for Wolverine? but I don’t know if I’m allowed to think that) was betrayed by one of His closest friends. Judas was one of His twelve apostles, one of the men He trusted most, one of the few people that He chose to be constantly by His side throughout His earthly ministry. How must he have felt when Judas turned against Him? When you think of your experience of betrayal, remember to connect those feelings to Christ’s, because he went through it too. Those of you who are tempted to blame yourselves or think that there is something wrong with you, that some inherent flaw in you must have caused this person to treat you this poorly, that you are not lovable; you’re not, and you’re wrong. It happened to Jesus, so it literally happens to the best of us. Do not feel ashamed by what happened to you. The wrong that others do to you is never a reflection of you, just another person’s mistake, for which they are probably suffering also.

Jesus encourages us in the booklet Heaven Speaks to Those Who Experience Tragedy to allow ourselves the healing process and to bring our sorrows to Him:

"My friend, there are events in every life that stand out as difficult and life-altering. This tragedy, this abrupt change of course, will stand out to you, I know. When you feel a sense of shock, a sense of stunning upset in your life, you must look for me. I am there. I do not remain with My children, day after day, and then abandon them when they most need my support. Your grief is understandable and I will support you in it. You will not always understand why I allowed a certain thing to happen. In your expected inability to understand, you will challenge me. You will say, “God, how could you have allowed this? God, where are You? God, why have You abandoned us?” My friends, bring those questions directly to me because I, Myself, am the most sympathetic listener when it comes to these heartfelt cries of anguish. You see, I cried these cries Myself. In my humanity, on the cross, I felt abandoned. In My humanity, on the cross, I questioned the value of God’s plan. From My viewpoint, nailed to a piece of wood and raised aloft as a subject of total rejection and derision, it appeared that I suffered more than anyone. It appeared that none could know the extent of My pain. My beloved child, I tell you this so that you will understand that I, your Savior, grasp the depth of your pain. I will walk you through each moment of anguish, surrounding you with heaven’s graces. No. You will not be left to walk alone through this tragedy."

When the people we love let us down, it throws everything we thought we knew into confusion. Maybe you’re like me, and it makes you want to burn down buildings or punch pillows in the throat (and by pillows I mean people, but that sounds more aggressive). Or maybe you’re also like me and you are tempted to shut yourself off to all people forever because clearly nobody in the WHOLE WORLD can be trusted EVER AGAIN. (Maybe you’re much less dramatic than me and you respond maturely and positively to distressing social circumstances, but I don’t really have anything new to tell you people, you probably have it figured out better than I do.) There are a couple of problems with these responses. One, there are legal problems with burning down buildings you don’t own, especially if they are someone’s house. Two, when we harden our hearts to people, we necessarily harden our hearts to God. Closing ourselves off to God is going to be a lot more harmful to us than whatever injury is inflicted upon us by others. So let’s open ourselves up to Him instead.

Also, when you’re ready to, pray for your Judas. You’ve gotta feel bad for someone who even Jesus said would be better off not born, so let’s limit the amount of Judas’ in the world with our forgiveness. I know it’s hard, but you never know what hell might have put them in the position to hurt you. We hurt Jesus all the time, each and every one of us, and He forgives us readily. We can learn so much from Him if we are willing to try.

Congratulations on surviving Lent guys! We’re almost there!

Annie

Tuesday, March 22, 2016

Tuesday of Holy Week - Preparation is Key

Cooking was not exactly my forte. Ask my daughters and they will tell you I made a mean macaroni and cheese with random ingredients added for nutritious value when they were young. As a mother with three busy little girls, the microwave was my best friend. I even perfected microwave eggs (remember, girls?). If I ever stepped out of my microwave world, I was the type of cook to follow a recipe exactly . . . no guessing and it had to be perfectly measured. The preparation was key for me. In the end, my meals were always a hit. Now I don't really follow recipes to the tee after trying something new. I have learned to be comfortable with the knowledge and confidence acquired since those early days of cooking. I know I can bring something good to the table every time. But I would never have gained the fearlessness of creating something new if I wouldn't have prepared in the past.  As Christians, we must prepare ourselves for holiness on a daily basis. For when our time on earth is complete, I want Jesus to welcome me to heaven saying, "You did good, Bonnie. You prepared well." 

In todays Gospel (John 13:21-33, 36-38), Jesus not only prepares Himself for the following days, He prepares His apostles:

Reclining at table with his disciples, Jesus was deeply troubled and testified, “Amen, amen, I say to you, one of you will betray me.” The disciples looked at one another, at a loss as to whom he meant. One of his disciples, the one whom Jesus loved, was reclining at Jesus’ side. So Simon Peter nodded to him to find out whom he meant. He leaned back against Jesus’ chest and said to him, “Master, who is it?” Jesus answered, “It is the one to whom I hand the morsel after I have dipped it.” So he dipped the morsel and took it and handed it to Judas, son of Simon the Iscariot. After Judas took the morsel, Satan entered him. So Jesus said to him, “What you are going to do, do quickly.” Now none of those reclining at table realized why he said this to him. Some thought that since Judas kept the money bag, Jesus had told him, “Buy what we need for the feast,” or to give something to the poor. So Judas took the morsel and left at once. And it was night.

When he had left, Jesus said, “Now is the Son of Man glorified, and God is glorified in him. If God is glorified in him, God will also glorify him in himself, and he will glorify him at once. My children, I will be with you only a little while longer. You will look for me, and as I told the Jews, ‘Where I go you cannot come,’ so now I say it to you.”

Simon Peter said to him, “Master, where are you going?” Jesus answered him, “Where I am going, you cannot follow me now, though you will follow later.” Peter said to him, “Master, why can I not follow you now?  I will lay down my life for you.” Jesus answered, “Will you lay down your life for me? Amen, amen, I say to you, the cock will not crow before you deny me three times.”

In Volume Four, Jesus the King gives a perfect analogy on the importance of preparing for His return:

"My brothers and sisters of the world must prepare their hearts to welcome their King. In past times when groups of humanity were ruled by Kings, all would prepare for the return of their ruler following his absence. Well, I have been away from your world in the physical sense for many years. Now I prepare to return. I am ready. Your world is not. What must you do to be ready? My brothers and sisters in the world must prepare their hearts. How do you want Me to find you when I come back? Would you be so immersed in the world that My return will be an unpleasant and shocking interruption to your worship of the false gods of materialism and sensuality? That will not be good for you, dear soul, because you will not understand or fully experience the joy that is rightfully yours. You must prepare to claim that joy. You must set an example of peaceful and watchful readiness. When I find you, you will want to welcome Me in all recollected holiness. Do I demand that you become a saint overnight? My little soul, of course I do not. This is not even possible for you. I do not expect it. Like a welcomed and beloved guest, I look not at how high you have reached spiritually, but how willing you are to work with Me on your soul. I am looking for a calm acceptance that you are My subject and live in My Kingdom."

Lay apostles, as Lent draws to a close, do you feel you are, at the least, a little more prepared for the day you meet Jesus Face to face? If not, it's never too late to begin. 

God bless,

Bonnie

Monday, March 21, 2016

Monday of Holy Week - What is Your Attitude Going to Be?

Writing this blog allows me to express how I am feeling. Others may not like what I have to say, but my thoughts are my thoughts. I am nothing special. But I am a lay apostle trying to do everything the Lord asks of me with love and kindness for this mission. I keep myself in check with those I love and trust, making sure I interpret meaning and intent in what I read and hear. It's very sad when others take their misery out on me.  Sometimes the truth hurts. I know it hurts because there have been many truths about myself I've had to look at over the last 10 years since becoming a lay apostle. So, when you read something on my blog that offends you, think about why it offends. Is there some truth to it? Is it something you don't want to admit about yourself because if you did it would mean you are flawed just like me? 

In todays Gospel (John 12:1-11), see how others assume the worst with a selfish attitude when what was being done was for the Lord:

Six days before Passover Jesus came to Bethany, where Lazarus was, whom Jesus had raised from the dead. They gave a dinner for him there, and Martha served, while Lazarus was one of those reclining at table with him.  Mary took a liter of costly perfumed oil made from genuine aromatic nard and anointed the feet of Jesus and dried them with her hair; the house was filled with the fragrance of the oil.  Then Judas the Iscariot, one of his disciples, and the one who would betray him, said, “Why was this oil not sold for three hundred days’ wages and given to the poor?” He said this not because he cared about the poor but because he was a thief and held the money bag and used to steal the contributions. So Jesus said, “Leave her alone. Let her keep this for the day of my burial. You always have the poor with you, but you do not always have me.”

The large crowd of the Jews found out that he was there and came, not only because of him, but also to see Lazarus, whom he had raised from the dead. And the chief priests plotted to kill Lazarus too, because many of the Jews were turning away and believing in Jesus because of him.

In Anne a lay apostle's book The Mist of Mercy, she beautifully describes the traps of evil:

"As lay apostles, we must look into each relationship in our lives and be certain that we follow Godly principles. We must seek to be genuinely giving, with an awareness that we should strive to set an example of Christlike behavior to each other. The devil does not want this, of course. The devil wants to use us to exploit those around us. People cooperate by using others, perhaps for sex, for money, for power, or ego. We must be scrupulous not to fall into these traps. There is no benefit to reading, or indeed writing a work such as this if we use it only to identify the flaws of others. We must search tirelessly for our own flaws, using the example set by Jesus Christ as our behavioral goal."

Lay apostles, think before you speak . . . read before you send. Don't let the traps of piety, power or ego get in the way of Christlike behavior. We are all servants of heaven. Serve the best you can. It's all any of us can do.

Thank you, Lord, for allowing the true joy and happiness being a lay apostle brings. You have strengthened me with Your Words and those surrounding me.

God bless,

Bonnie

Sunday, March 20, 2016

Palm Sunday of the Lord’s Passion

Todays Gospel (Luke 22:14-23, 56) brings me to tears every time I read it . . . strengthening my will to fight for our dear Savior:

When the hour came, Jesus took his place at table with the apostles. He said to them,  “I have eagerly desired to eat this Passover with you before I suffer, for, I tell you, I shall not eat it again until there is fulfillment in the kingdom of God.” Then he took a cup, gave thanks, and said,  “Take this and share it among yourselves; for I tell you that from this time on I shall not drink of the fruit of the vine until the kingdom of God comes.” Then he took the bread, said the blessing, broke it, and gave it to them, saying, “This is my body, which will be given for you;  do this in memory of me.” And likewise the cup after they had eaten, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in my blood, which will be shed for you.

“And yet behold, the hand of the one who is to betray me is with me on the table; for the Son of Man indeed goes as it has been determined; but woe to that man by whom he is betrayed.” And they began to debate among themselves who among them would do such a deed.

Then an argument broke out among them about which of them should be regarded as the greatest. He said to them, “The kings of the Gentiles lord it over them and those in authority over them are addressed as ‘Benefactors’; but among you it shall not be so. Rather, let the greatest among you be as the youngest, and the leader as the servant. For who is greater:  the one seated at table or the one who serves? Is it not the one seated at table? I am among you as the one who serves. It is you who have stood by me in my trials; and I confer a kingdom on you,  just as my Father has conferred one on me, that you may eat and drink at my table in my kingdom; and you will sit on thrones judging the twelve tribes of Israel.

“Simon, Simon, behold Satan has demanded to sift all of you like wheat, but I have prayed that your own faith may not fail;  and once you have turned back,
you must strengthen your brothers.” He said to him, “Lord, I am prepared to go to prison and to die with you.” But he replied, “I tell you, Peter, before the cock crows this day, you will deny three times that you know me.”

He said to them, “When I sent you forth without a money bag or a sack or sandals, were you in need of anything?” “No, nothing, “ they replied. He said to them, “But now one who has a money bag should take it, and likewise a sack,  and one who does not have a sword should sell his cloak and buy one. For I tell you that this Scripture must be fulfilled in me, namely, He was counted among the wicked; and indeed what is written about me is coming to fulfillment.” Then they said, “Lord, look, there are two swords here.” But he replied, “It is enough!”

Then going out, he went, as was his custom, to the Mount of Olives, and the disciples followed him. When he arrived at the place he said to them,  “Pray that you may not undergo the test.” After withdrawing about a stone’s throw from them and kneeling, he prayed, saying, “Father, if you are willing, take this cup away from me;  still, not my will but yours be done.” And to strengthen him an angel from heaven appeared to him. He was in such agony and he prayed so fervently that his sweat became like drops of blood falling on the ground. When he rose from prayer and returned to his disciples, he found them sleeping from grief. He said to them, “Why are you sleeping? Get up and pray that you may not undergo the test.”

While he was still speaking, a crowd approached  and in front was one of the Twelve, a man named Judas. He went up to Jesus to kiss him. Jesus said to him, “Judas, are you betraying the Son of Man with a kiss?” His disciples realized what was about to happen, and they asked,  “Lord, shall we strike with a sword?” And one of them struck the high priest’s servant and cut off his right ear. But Jesus said in reply, “Stop, no more of this!” Then he touched the servant’s ear and healed him. And Jesus said to the chief priests and temple guards and elders who had come for him,  “Have you come out as against a robber, with swords and clubs? Day after day I was with you in the temple area, and you did not seize me; but this is your hour, the time for the power of darkness.”

After arresting him they led him away and took him into the house of the high priest; Peter was following at a distance. They lit a fire in the middle of the courtyard and sat around it, and Peter sat down with them. When a maid saw him seated in the light,  she looked intently at him and said, “This man too was with him.” But he denied it saying, “Woman, I do not know him.” A short while later someone else saw him and said,  “You too are one of them”; but Peter answered, “My friend, I am not.” About an hour later, still another insisted,  “Assuredly, this man too was with him, for he also is a Galilean.” But Peter said, “My friend, I do not know what you are talking about.” Just as he was saying this, the cock crowed, and the Lord turned and looked at Peter;  and Peter remembered the word of the Lord, how he had said to him, “Before the cock crows today, you will deny me three times.” He went out and began to weep bitterly. The men who held Jesus in custody were ridiculing and beating him. They blindfolded him and questioned him, saying, “Prophesy! Who is it that struck you?” And they reviled him in saying many other things against him.

When day came the council of elders of the people met,  both chief priests and scribes, and they brought him before their Sanhedrin. They said, “If you are the Christ, tell us,”  but he replied to them, “If I tell you, you will not believe, and if I question, you will not respond. But from this time on the Son of Man will be seated at the right hand of the power of God.” They all asked, “Are you then the Son of God?” He replied to them, “You say that I am.” Then they said, “What further need have we for testimony? We have heard it from his own mouth.”

Then the whole assembly of them arose and brought him before Pilate. They brought charges against him, saying,  “We found this man misleading our people; he opposes the payment of taxes to Caesar and maintains that he is the Christ, a king.”Pilate asked him, “Are you the king of the Jews?” He said to him in reply, “You say so.” Pilate then addressed the chief priests and the crowds,  “I find this man not guilty.” But they were adamant and said,  “He is inciting the people with his teaching throughout all Judea, from Galilee where he began even to here.”

On hearing this Pilate asked if the man was a Galilean;  and upon learning that he was under Herod’s jurisdiction, he sent him to Herod who was in Jerusalem at that time. Herod was very glad to see Jesus; he had been wanting to see him for a long time, for he had heard about him and had been hoping to see him perform some sign. He questioned him at length, but he gave him no answer. The chief priests and scribes, meanwhile, stood by accusing him harshly. Herod and his soldiers treated him contemptuously and mocked him, and after clothing him in resplendent garb, he sent him back to Pilate. Herod and Pilate became friends that very day, even though they had been enemies formerly. Pilate then summoned the chief priests, the rulers, and the people and said to them, “You brought this man to me and accused him of inciting the people to revolt. I have conducted my investigation in your presence and have not found this man guilty of the charges you have brought against him, nor did Herod, for he sent him back to us. So no capital crime has been committed by him. Therefore I shall have him flogged and then release him.”

But all together they shouted out, “Away with this man! Release Barabbas to us.”— Now Barabbas had been imprisoned for a rebellion that had taken place in the city and for murder. — Again Pilate addressed them, still wishing to release Jesus, but they continued their shouting, “Crucify him! Crucify him!” Pilate addressed them a third time, “What evil has this man done? I found him guilty of no capital crime. Therefore I shall have him flogged and then release him.” With loud shouts, however, they persisted in calling for his crucifixion, and their voices prevailed. The verdict of Pilate was that their demand should be granted. So he released the man who had been imprisoned for rebellion and murder, for whom they asked, and he handed Jesus over to them to deal with as they wished.

As they led him away they took hold of a certain Simon, a Cyrenian, who was coming in from the country; and after laying the cross on him, they made him carry it behind Jesus. A large crowd of people followed Jesus, including many women who mourned and lamented him. Jesus turned to them and said,  “Daughters of Jerusalem, do not weep for me; weep instead for yourselves and for your children for indeed, the days are coming when people will say, ‘Blessed are the barren, the wombs that never bore and the breasts that never nursed.’ At that time people will say to the mountains, ‘Fall upon us!’ and to the hills, ‘Cover us!’ for if these things are done when the wood is green what will happen when it is dry?” Now two others, both criminals, were led away with him to be executed.

When they came to the place called the Skull, they crucified him and the criminals there, one on his right, the other on his left. Then Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, they know not what they do.” They divided his garments by casting lots. The people stood by and watched; the rulers, meanwhile, sneered at him and said, “He saved others, let him save himself if he is the chosen one, the Christ of God.” Even the soldiers jeered at him. As they approached to offer him wine they called out, “If you are King of the Jews, save yourself.” Above him there was an inscription that read,  “This is the King of the Jews.”

Now one of the criminals hanging there reviled Jesus, saying, “Are you not the Christ? Save yourself and us.” The other, however, rebuking him, said in reply, “Have you no fear of God, for you are subject to the same condemnation? And indeed, we have been condemned justly, for the sentence we received corresponds to our crimes, but this man has done nothing criminal.” Then he said, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.” He replied to him, “Amen, I say to you, today you will be with me in Paradise.”

It was now about noon and darkness came over the whole land until three in the afternoon because of an eclipse of the sun. Then the veil of the temple was torn down the middle. Jesus cried out in a loud voice, “Father, into your hands I commend my spirit”; and when he had said this he breathed his last.

Here all kneel and pause for a short time.

The centurion who witnessed what had happened glorified God and said,“This man was innocent beyond doubt.” When all the people who had gathered for this spectacle saw what had happened, they returned home beating their breasts; but all his acquaintances stood at a distance, including the women who had followed him from Galilee and saw these events. Now there was a virtuous and righteous man named Joseph who, though he was a member of the council, had not consented to their plan of action. He came from the Jewish town of Arimathea and was awaiting the kingdom of God. He went to Pilate and asked for the body of Jesus. After he had taken the body down, he wrapped it in a linen cloth and laid him in a rock-hewn tomb in which no one had yet been buried. It was the day of preparation, and the sabbath was about to begin. The women who had come from Galilee with him followed behind, and when they had seen the tomb and the way in which his body was laid in it, they returned and prepared spices and perfumed oils. Then they rested on the sabbath according to the commandment.

In Anne a lay apostle’s book Transforming Grace, she beautifully paints a visual of why we continue to march on in our battle against evil:

“There are many layers to a person suffering through time, meaning, living his life in exile on earth. The man trapped in his humanity for the purposes of his own redemption and the furtherance of God’s kingdom receives the inevitable suffering in his mind, yes, but also in his heart. We can know that suffering will come to us and we can accept this suffering on behalf of the God who created us and the Son who redeemed us but our mind will have to work very hard indeed to steer into our innocence when we are innocent and steer out of the guilt others try to stamp onto our foreheads. This hard work of holding on to His innocence was no less for Christ. Indeed, so total was the Lord’s condemnation, so irrational was the Lord’s sentence that the mind of the man must have ‘tripped’ while trying to absorb it. 

We can also ‘trip’ intellectually when trying to absorb irrational attacks of others. We are sometimes guilty, it is true, and self- examination reveals that we are not blameless, regardless of how poorly or clumsily others handle our imperfection. But sometimes we are innocent and that work will be very important indeed because by suffering as victims we are drawn into a scene that can resemble the Passion. 

By witnessing others reject courage in favor of ambivalence and thus miss the opportunity to stand with us in righteousness, we can be drawn into disillusionment. Poor Jesus. How must He have felt about leadership as Pilate failed in courage and integrity? What was the wound when a man charged with protecting order stood back and allowed a mob, whipped into frenzied excitement, decide the fate of an innocent child of God? The disordered insistence of complete guilt alone should have alerted the leader that time was necessary to sift through the facts and allegations. But no. He stepped back. And Christ was delivered to the one who hates comfort and safety for all of God’s children. Yes, the wounds of Christ went far beyond the physical, deeply into His heart as God and as man.” 

Lay apostles, Jesus suffered terribly on earth. But His suffering hasn’t ended. So many turn away from the Passion, not acknowledging the love and mercy Christ offers His lost children. If we can lead even one person back to Him, we ease His pain of loss a little bit. What can you do today to show the love of Christ?

Thank you, Lord, for teaching me the importance of leading as many as You send me back to Your Sacred Heart!

God bless,

Bonnie