Lost sheep. Wounded little boys and girls carrying out their lives without ever healing from childhood hurts. Being a lay apostle means taking responsibility for our actions and words. And most importantly, striving for a compassionate heart. I can imagine Jesus looking down on our world today, His heart moved at the amount of hatred, anger, and lack of faith His Children wander about their day with, searching for something to fill the gaping hole that only He can fill. Anyone can say they are a Christian. But the only way to truly be a Christian is to love and live as Jesus did while He was on the earth and continues to love us from heaven. We can't say we "tried" His way, it failed for one reason or another, so we are not going to try anymore. It just doesn't work like that. He would never desert one of us because we've sinned. He continues to forgive us and see the best we have to offer. As a parent, there is nothing my children or grandchildren could say or do to make me stop trying . . . to stop caring about them. I may sit back while they learn their own lessons just as I had to learn my own. But I will ALWAYS be there for them, just as the Prodigal Son's father was waiting with open arms. Remember how moved Jesus was seeing those 5,000 people in the Gospel today. Nothing has changed.
In today's Gospel (Matthew 14:13-21), our dear sweet Jesus' heart swells as He observes His lost sheep:
When Jesus heard of the death of John the Baptist, he withdrew in a boat to a deserted place by himself. The crowds heard of this and followed him on foot from their towns. When he disembarked and saw the vast crowd, his heart was moved with pity for them, and he cured their sick. When it was evening, the disciples approached him and said, “This is a deserted place and it is already late; dismiss the crowds so that they can go to the villages and buy food for themselves.” He said to them, “There is no need for them to go away; give them some food yourselves.” But they said to him, “Five loaves and two fish are all we have here.” Then he said, “Bring them here to me,” and he ordered the crowds to sit down on the grass. Taking the five loaves and the two fish, and looking up to heaven, he said the blessing, broke the loaves, and gave them to the disciples, who in turn gave them to the crowds. They all ate and were satisfied, and they picked up the fragments left over – twelve wicker baskets full. Those who ate were about five thousand men, not counting women and children.
In Anne a lay apostle's new book Suspended in Mystery, Jesus directs us to compassion:
“When we gaze into a still lake, we can see our own reflection. I am that way, too. When you gaze at my figure on the cross, you see me, and my love for you, but you also come to see yourself reflected back. Spending time with me acts as a mirror and you begin to understand yourself better. Why is this important? Because when you understand my physical brokenness on the cross and feel compassion for me, you come to understand your own brokenness and feel compassion for yourself. I want this for you. I want you to be loving toward yourself and understanding and compassionate. When you accept that I submitted to a plan that was bigger than one day, you can learn that your difficult days also contribute to a greater plan than you can see in one moment. You can learn to trust in God’s outcomes, even when your life seems full of pain and suffering and uncertainty. God’s outcomes are so full of love and truth that any suffering is quickly obscured. When you can see the value in suffering, it becomes easy to bear, such as physical labor for a physical goal. ‘It is worth it’, one thinks to one’s self. When you can see no value to suffering, such as in the case when innocence is offended and injured, there is a great need to trust in the certainty that the Father will bring both healing and justice. This need is the difference between peace and often grave disturbance and even torment. The Father wills recovery for all. Recovery is available and it is a certainty in the heavenly kingdom. But often, through prayer, recovery comes on Earth, and any suffering you endure contributes to enormous development. I want this for you. I want you to benefit from any cross you have carried. I want you to know that I am with you in any cross you carry today. I will lead you to the answers just as the Father led me through my life. I have the answers for you."
Lay apostles, is there someone in your life who has hurt or offended you? Have you hurt or offended someone? Do you have compassion for yourself? As Jesus says in the quote above, "I want you to be loving toward yourself and understanding and compassionate." How can we be compassionate toward others if not compassionate to ourselves? Strive for the Heart of Christ.
Thank you, Lord, for reminding me to love and not hate. To have compassion for myself on this journey. To pray for bitter people or those trying to alter my journey to holiness. And . . . remember the importance of dusting off my sandals, moving on to the next adventure!
God bless,
Bonnie
In today's Gospel (Matthew 14:13-21), our dear sweet Jesus' heart swells as He observes His lost sheep:
When Jesus heard of the death of John the Baptist, he withdrew in a boat to a deserted place by himself. The crowds heard of this and followed him on foot from their towns. When he disembarked and saw the vast crowd, his heart was moved with pity for them, and he cured their sick. When it was evening, the disciples approached him and said, “This is a deserted place and it is already late; dismiss the crowds so that they can go to the villages and buy food for themselves.” He said to them, “There is no need for them to go away; give them some food yourselves.” But they said to him, “Five loaves and two fish are all we have here.” Then he said, “Bring them here to me,” and he ordered the crowds to sit down on the grass. Taking the five loaves and the two fish, and looking up to heaven, he said the blessing, broke the loaves, and gave them to the disciples, who in turn gave them to the crowds. They all ate and were satisfied, and they picked up the fragments left over – twelve wicker baskets full. Those who ate were about five thousand men, not counting women and children.
In Anne a lay apostle's new book Suspended in Mystery, Jesus directs us to compassion:
“When we gaze into a still lake, we can see our own reflection. I am that way, too. When you gaze at my figure on the cross, you see me, and my love for you, but you also come to see yourself reflected back. Spending time with me acts as a mirror and you begin to understand yourself better. Why is this important? Because when you understand my physical brokenness on the cross and feel compassion for me, you come to understand your own brokenness and feel compassion for yourself. I want this for you. I want you to be loving toward yourself and understanding and compassionate. When you accept that I submitted to a plan that was bigger than one day, you can learn that your difficult days also contribute to a greater plan than you can see in one moment. You can learn to trust in God’s outcomes, even when your life seems full of pain and suffering and uncertainty. God’s outcomes are so full of love and truth that any suffering is quickly obscured. When you can see the value in suffering, it becomes easy to bear, such as physical labor for a physical goal. ‘It is worth it’, one thinks to one’s self. When you can see no value to suffering, such as in the case when innocence is offended and injured, there is a great need to trust in the certainty that the Father will bring both healing and justice. This need is the difference between peace and often grave disturbance and even torment. The Father wills recovery for all. Recovery is available and it is a certainty in the heavenly kingdom. But often, through prayer, recovery comes on Earth, and any suffering you endure contributes to enormous development. I want this for you. I want you to benefit from any cross you have carried. I want you to know that I am with you in any cross you carry today. I will lead you to the answers just as the Father led me through my life. I have the answers for you."
Lay apostles, is there someone in your life who has hurt or offended you? Have you hurt or offended someone? Do you have compassion for yourself? As Jesus says in the quote above, "I want you to be loving toward yourself and understanding and compassionate." How can we be compassionate toward others if not compassionate to ourselves? Strive for the Heart of Christ.
Thank you, Lord, for reminding me to love and not hate. To have compassion for myself on this journey. To pray for bitter people or those trying to alter my journey to holiness. And . . . remember the importance of dusting off my sandals, moving on to the next adventure!
God bless,
Bonnie
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