Tuesday, August 20, 2019

Gospel Thoughts Today: Chosen Last

Yes, I was one of those kids usually chosen last for the kickball, dodgeball or softball team. P.E. class was something I dreaded in my younger days. I was short and thin . . . and sucked at most sports.  I think it was more a lack of confidence than skill, but I tried. In kickball, I usually sent it flying right into the arms of the opposing team. In dodgeball, I was usually the target as I wasn't as fast on my feet. In softball, by the time I ran with all my might to first base, I was already out and the opposing team heading to the dugout for their turn at bat. As you can imagine, as I matured I had an aching desire to be first . . . the best at whatever I attempted. To the point of being a perfectionist. An over the top perfectionist. Whenever things didn't turn out my way, the wounded little girl who was always chosen last emerged and she was not a happy camper! With time (and this apostolate!), the concept of humility and rejoicing for those chosen over me, those loved more than I, and trusting Christ with every outcome has become the way I try to live my life. Being last means lifting others up . . . remaining small so my ego doesn't get in the way. I have learned being the dreaded last pick is actually a place of honor in the Lord's Eyes.

Todays Gospel (Matthew 19:23-30) spells it out . . . the first will be last and the last will be first:

Jesus said to his disciples: “Amen, I say to you, it will be hard for one who is rich to enter the Kingdom of heaven. Again I say to you, it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for one who is rich to enter the Kingdom of God.” When the disciples heard this, they were greatly astonished and said, “Who then can be saved?” Jesus looked at them and said, “For men this is impossible, but for God all things are possible.” Then Peter said to him in reply, “We have given up everything and followed you. What will there be for us?” Jesus said to them, “Amen, I say to you that you who have followed me, in the new age, when the Son of Man is seated on his throne of glory, will yourselves sit on twelve thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel. And everyone who has given up houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or lands for the sake of my name will receive a hundred times more, and will inherit eternal life. But many who are first will be last, and the last will be first.”

In Volume Seven, St. Gertrude advises us to compare ourselves to Christ, not the world:

"Dear brothers and sisters, along with detachment you must practice humility. You have words from heaven, but what will you do with these words? Will you understand that God is calling you to be an apostle? Truly, that is the case. Have you answered that call? You will be first in heaven, my friends, but you must allow yourself to be last on earth. You have been given great spiritual food, along with many spiritual graces. You will not want to waste these graces by continuing to march to the tune of the enemy. Step out of that group that follows the world and follow us, your heavenly friends. We are humble because we compare ourselves to Christ. Compare yourself to Him and you will also feel humble. When you are humble, He can make you great. It is not hard to understand if you are detached from the world. Heaven is so different. When you consider worldly thinking, just reverse it and often you will find yourself thinking in heavenly terms."

Lay apostles, there are times when our hard work doesn't get rewarded. How do we react when this occurs? Our human instinct is to be hurt, upset, feel abandoned, or angry. If we attempt what St. Gertrude is suggesting above, when considering worldly thinking, just reverse it! Strive to be humble in everything. Look at hurtful events as blessings. Remember He will never abandon us. Be joyful instead of angry.

Thank you, Lord, for all the lessons and especially for Your Words in the Gospel today. I promise to strive for humility over ego! Please continue to remind me when I start thinking as the world thinks!

God bless,
Bonnie


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