Changing learned behavior

As children, our environment affects how we learn, live, and love. When that environment is dysfunctional, certain coping mechanisms develop. Disappointment, hurt, and feelings of abandonment can control our need to feel loved and wanted as teens, potentially continuing into adulthood. How do we act to make people need and love us? Rage, power and control, to name a few. This bad behavior according to my daughter, a behavior analyst, is called "junk behavior." If we make a big enough fuss, those around us will cave in and do what we want. But, giving in to junk behavior allows the person throwing the temper tantrum to believe they are justified in their actions with no consequences. And so history repeats itself generation after generation.

Why do we feel the need to act out to get attention or tolerate junk behavior from others? Fear. Fear no one will love us or need us, so any attention, good or bad, temporarily satisfies. Some of us grow up in households with a demanding parent, teaching us to love despite the bad behavior. Some of us have complete control over our parents, being catered to at the slightest hint of dissatisfaction. Let's stop bad behavior from repeating. The Blessed Mother has this to say about fear in Volume Three:

"This fear is the result of the lack of faith that has settled upon this world. Faithful souls need to be told that fear is not going to help the situation and fear will make people respond in panic. What is necessary is calm, a trust that can only be achieved through a daily prayer regimen."

And, this from St. Gertrude in Volume Seven:

"When I felt fear I began to praise God. In this way I turned the fear into a prayer and trained myself to allow Jesus to eradicate my fears. He always did."

If we completely abandon ourselves to Christ, fear dissipates. Yes, we may fail at times in love and business. People will be disappointed in us. People will abandon us. People will even hate us. And that is OK. If we have the right intentions and work for the glory of God in everything we do, we cannot fail in His Eyes.

Thank you, Lord, for all the work You are doing to eradicate my fears. Forgive my missteps along the way (lots of forgiveness needed!) and continue to guide me up the mountain of holiness.

God bless,

Bonnie