Here Dad . . . Just Put It On!

Guest blogger: Jay

In 1997, I was diagnosed with cancer. I was diagnosed on a Friday afternoon . . . and underwent surgery 6:30 a.m. the following Monday morning. Three weeks later I would begin chemotherapy because the cancer had spread.

Early one morning, about two weeks into the chemotherapy treatment, I heard the soft patter of my little four year old’s footsteps coming into my room. That morning something was different.  My little red head was obviously on a mission. She walked right up to the side of the bed, continued to bump against the mattress, and waited patiently for me to focus on her. As my eyes reluctantly slid open, I saw something I will never forget the rest of my life. In the dim light I woke to see my little one fully dressed for her day . . . her pre-kindergarden day . . . holding out one of my neck ties in front of her. As she offered the tie to me she said, "Here dad . . . just put it on!” At that moment I realized this was more than just a simple offer of a tie. This was my little one wanting things to be back to “normal." If only I would get up and put on my tie and go to work, as I had so many week days of her life . . . everything would be fine. She also had been spending a lot of time with aunts over the previous 30 days or so. Those days were even a blur to me with doctor’s appointments, CT scans, researching the disease along with all of the other responsibilities in life. I had not absorbed everything . . . how could she?

I knew that this was a teaching moment. I knew this was a time to instill confidence, answer her question, and begin including her more in the process. I sat up and gave her a big hug and kiss. As we both sat on the side of the bed, I shared with her I would not be getting dressed to go to work that day. That I needed to continue to go to get medicine for some time, but that once I was better, I would get back to wearing my ties. She seemed to be assured and relieved by that answer.

That day I saw the desire of my little one to be included. I saw . . . when she did not (nor could not) fully understand what was going on, turned to giving (serving) and believing (faith) that if I just put on my tie, everything would be ok. When I shared my answer, she completely accepted (trusted) my explanation.

Comparing the Gospel from 25May13 (Mark 10:13-16) and that special morning with Christine also made me realize that Jesus was not only ordering that no one keep the children away for just the children’s sake. In fact, I’m sure it was as much or more for the adult’s benefit. It is through watching and listening to the little ones that we re-learn what true joy, trust, unconditional love, service, and faith are:

People were bringing children to Jesus that he might touch them, but the disciples rebuked them. When Jesus saw this he became indignant and said to them, “Let the children come to me; do not prevent them, for the Kingdom of God belongs to such as these. Amen, I say to you, whoever does not accept the Kingdom of God like a child will not enter it.” Then he embraced the children and blessed them, placing his hands on them.

In Volume Six, St. Joseph speaks to fathers about the importance of spending time with their children:

"Your children are your treasure and they are also a large part of your salvation. You will gain the greatest of graces through your parenting of your children. To begin with the most fundamental advice, you must be with your children in order to properly parent them. Many fathers today view the role of father simply as a provider. They feel that as long as they are providing for their children’s material needs, their job has been completed. Fathers, you know this is not the case."

Lay apostles, today is a great day to reflect on the things that we knew were right as a child but that we may have discarded as adults in the name of being responsible. Do yourself a favor, spend some time with a child this weekend and give new life to why Jesus was admonishing that unless we accept the Kingdom of God like a child, we would not be able to enter.

Father, thank you for the ability to look back and regain what we may have discarded or lost along the way. Thank you for the ability to have new beginnings . . . over and over and over again! Thank you for the children in our lives who can continue to be our teachers as to how to live . . . and as to what are the truly important things in this life.

In gratitude and humility,

Jay