It's easy to get caught up in chaos. It's easy to try to predict reasons behind erratic behavior. Analyzing every possible scenario is exhausting. So why try? Well, it's just how my brain works. Luckily, I have learned that when my brain starts calculating worst case and best case scenarios, it's time to call in the Big Guy. My job is to love, leading by example. And, set very clear boundaries.
Reminds me of an incident when my three girls were teenagers. It was around the time Ricky Martin was the big teen heartthrob. He had just opened a restaurant in Miami, so we decided it would be a fun day trip. (The girls were hoping they would get a glimpse of him, although it was highly unlikely). We were on the highway for about 20 minutes, when my oldest Mallorie was arguing with her youngest sister Taylor. The first "girls, stop the fighting" calmly escaped my lips. They quieted for about 5 minutes. Then, the bickering began again. Now my voice was a little louder. "Girls, if you argue one more time we are turning around and going home," I said (regretfully after I realized I would have to follow through with the threat!). "Noooooo, mom, we won't fight anymore. We promise!" I was actually pretty excited to visit the restaurant, too, so I hoped they would get along for the next hour. Mind you, my middle daughter Whitney stayed out of the conflict. After the first warning, she reiterated my words to her sisters. After the second warning, she was starting to get upset with them. We were about 10 miles from Alligator Alley where turning around wasn't an option for quite awhile. Then from the back seat, it happened. I can't remember who started it. "OK, no Ricky Martin today! You guys blew it!" Got off at the next exit and turned around with three girls crying and apologizing and begging for another chance. Although they knew I almost always followed through with my threats (I did let some things slip once in a while!). The lesson is, stop the chaos. I am completely aware teenagers = drama. But as adults, unacceptable behavior is just that . . . unacceptable. With clear boundaries intact, nothing can disturb my peace anymore. I love unconditionally, but won't hesitate to pull off the highway and head back home!
In todays Gospel (Luke 6:36-38), Jesus talks about U-turns:
Jesus said to his disciples: “Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful. Stop judging and you will not be judged. Stop condemning and you will not be condemned. Forgive and you will be forgiven. Give and gifts will be given to you; a good measure, packed together, shaken down, and overflowing, will be poured into your lap. For the measure with which you measure will in return be measured out to you.”
In Volume Four, Jesus encourages us to remain peaceful, allowing Him to fill the void. He is ready to help you turn around:
Reminds me of an incident when my three girls were teenagers. It was around the time Ricky Martin was the big teen heartthrob. He had just opened a restaurant in Miami, so we decided it would be a fun day trip. (The girls were hoping they would get a glimpse of him, although it was highly unlikely). We were on the highway for about 20 minutes, when my oldest Mallorie was arguing with her youngest sister Taylor. The first "girls, stop the fighting" calmly escaped my lips. They quieted for about 5 minutes. Then, the bickering began again. Now my voice was a little louder. "Girls, if you argue one more time we are turning around and going home," I said (regretfully after I realized I would have to follow through with the threat!). "Noooooo, mom, we won't fight anymore. We promise!" I was actually pretty excited to visit the restaurant, too, so I hoped they would get along for the next hour. Mind you, my middle daughter Whitney stayed out of the conflict. After the first warning, she reiterated my words to her sisters. After the second warning, she was starting to get upset with them. We were about 10 miles from Alligator Alley where turning around wasn't an option for quite awhile. Then from the back seat, it happened. I can't remember who started it. "OK, no Ricky Martin today! You guys blew it!" Got off at the next exit and turned around with three girls crying and apologizing and begging for another chance. Although they knew I almost always followed through with my threats (I did let some things slip once in a while!). The lesson is, stop the chaos. I am completely aware teenagers = drama. But as adults, unacceptable behavior is just that . . . unacceptable. With clear boundaries intact, nothing can disturb my peace anymore. I love unconditionally, but won't hesitate to pull off the highway and head back home!
In todays Gospel (Luke 6:36-38), Jesus talks about U-turns:
Jesus said to his disciples: “Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful. Stop judging and you will not be judged. Stop condemning and you will not be condemned. Forgive and you will be forgiven. Give and gifts will be given to you; a good measure, packed together, shaken down, and overflowing, will be poured into your lap. For the measure with which you measure will in return be measured out to you.”
In Volume Four, Jesus encourages us to remain peaceful, allowing Him to fill the void. He is ready to help you turn around:
"I want you to look closely today at your life, at your relationships, and at your level of contentment. Do you have true peace? Are others drawn to you because love flows from you? Do you communicate joy to others? That is what I offer. You should possess true peace and security and joy and love should flow from you. Not a false peace, offered by the world and those that avoid Me. That peace does not last and does not pierce the boundary of your soul. The temporary peace offered by the world numbs your pain for a time, leading you to believe you have found the object of your search. Then that feeling wears off and you begin to search again, always looking for that thing which can only be found in Me. Shall I minister to you? Would you like Me to infuse your soul with courage and joy? Dear one, that is what I do for My true followers. They do not escape life’s difficulties. They have a steadiness that sets them apart from those who do not follow Me and who do not take advantage of heaven’s gifts. I want to share these gifts. On this day I want you to tell Me all day long that you believe in Me. You may not feel this. You may have a difficult time even forming the words. But in your heart, all of this day, tell Me this. I can then give you graces that will help your disbelief. We will begin to shift the stubborn doubts sowed by the father of lies. You have nothing to lose."
Lay apostles, Jay has an analogy I love when things become chaotic. An American gentleman one day goes to India. He's meeting with an Indian executive on the first floor of a high rise building. Behind the executive is a large glass window through which he observes people outside the building spinning in circles. Finally he interrupts the executive and asks what the people outside were doing. The executive explains it is part of a religious sect called the Whirling Dervishes. They whirl because it's part of their belief system. The American asked him "how do you deal with them whirling directly outside your building?" He responds, "I don't do anything. I leave them alone. Don't allow them to disturb me. I allow them to whirl because they are going to do it wherever they are." The moral of the story is even though some people choose to whirl, we can allow them to do so without getting caught up in their vortex of chaos. We can choose to detach with love. In doing so, we will obtain more clarity, peacefulness and energy to do His Will.
Thank you, Lord, for helping me step away with love from chaotic behavior. Thank you especially for a partner who is wise and has a desire to focus on Your Will.
God bless,
Bonnie
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