March for Life, Washington, DC 2010

There are two words that come to mind when I think about participating in the March for Life January 22, 2010 in Washington, D.C....humility and freedom. My oldest daughter Mallorie joined me in the march. She works and goes to grad school in D.C., close to the White House at The Institute of World Politics. With my fully stocked backpack (extra sweaters, a scarf, etc.), we headed for the metro, along with one of the interns, Pawel. The forecast was dreary...high in the 40's with a chance of rain. Not exactly the weather this Floridian wants to be exposed to. Determined not to be a whiner, and comfy with my Wellies on, I was ready to brave the elements.

As we approached the crowds, some young people were handing out signs to carry once the march had started. So, Pawel and I each took one. They were two sided. One side said, "Women Do Regret Abortion" and the other, "Men Regret Lost Fatherhood." Seeing so many young people was overwhelming. (I read recently there were over 400,000 people marching that day.) A large group of women carrying signs that read, "I Regret My Abortion" made a significant impact on me. The bravery to carry that sign, announcing to the world one of the worst choices you made in your life, was humbling. Yet, their faces beamed of Christ's love and forgiveness.

Mallorie had been asked to find a friend of the Institute, the Lepanto Foundation, who had traveled here from Rome, Italy to participate in the march. After searching through the massive crowds, we saw their banner and made our way over to them. A woman representing the Foundation, Virginia, greeted us with a big smile.

The march was very peaceful with some groups singing hymns and others chanting "Pro-Life." To be in the middle of it all is an experience I will never forget and will always make an effort to participate in every chance I get. (I just pray for the ability to withstand the cold!!). I felt I was among friends. And, I was so proud of Mallorie for her commitment to Christ and her faith. I just wish the media would have portrayed the march as it truly was - beaming with so many young people, old people, women, and men who care about saving lives.

Thank you, Lord, for giving me the opportunity to experience what true humility feels like. I am forever grateful.

God bless,

Bonnie

Publication of Heavenly Healing

I am truly humbled with graces the Lord has so mercifully given to me despite mistakes I've made in this journey called life. As I sit today, contemplating something introspective to write, I find myself reflecting on my past. Immediately my thoughts turn to caring for my parents as each departed this earth, going Home to where they belong. At the time, my own wants and desires were on the back burner. But, it was MY choice to delay or even give thought to what I needed or aspired to in life. All I honestly cared about were: surviving each day with my sanity in check; hoping my daughters understood the importance of honoring mother and father; making sure each parent felt loved and cared for; and thankful that my sister Diane agreed to deal with vomiting as long as I dealt with bowel movements! Remembering the hard times makes where I am now seem almost...miraculous. I think if I would have known four years ago what my life would be like now, as an author, I wouldn't be as appreciative or humble as I feel now. But all my "adventures" that led up to this moment make sense. I wouldn't be who I am today were it not for the profuse craziness over the last 47 years. And for every person and every experience in the past, present and future, I thank the Lord for His abundant blessings. If He asked, I would do it all over again.

Thank you, Lord, for seeing my potential and making me live up to it on a daily basis.

God bless,

Bonnie

Another wedding!

December 19, 2009, my beautiful daughter Whitney married the love of her life, Kevin May. They have been together for six years and both finished grad school this past May, moving to Ft. Myers for employment. Which, I must say, is where I live! It has been such a joy to see the love they have for each other through thick and thin, especially over the last five months while living so close. I had the privilege of escorting my daughter down the aisle. The look on her face was enchanting. I could hardly take my eyes off her as we walked down the aisle to Ave Maria. When we began our walk to her future husband, I could see the look on his face from across the room. Sheer joy, excitement, and anticipation of marrying the woman he calls his MOO (my one and only!). As I kissed my daughter's cheek, telling her I loved her, my soon to be son-in-law came to take her hand. But before he escorted her off to a whole new life, he hugged me and said he loved me, and I him. I am thankful every day for the husbands God has sent for my two oldest daughters (of which both are named Kevin!). I couldn't have handpicked better men to love and cherish them. I pray every day for my youngest Taylor to have the same love as her sisters. And I think that young man has surfaced, both starting to fall in love. All I ask is a year off from weddings (my oldest got married last year!) and a college degree in her hand! But if he is the one, he is another man I would be proud to call my son-in-law! (Boy, I sure hope he doesn't read my blog! Taylor would shoot me!).

Thank you, Lord, for the beauty and love I see in my daughters' eyes and the eyes of the men they love. You are so good to me!

God bless,

Bonnie

Heavenly Healing

I can hardly believe Heavenly Healing is going to be a reality December 28th! The support I have received from DFOT, lay apostles and my family is humbling. One of the biggest blessings through all of this is my publisher, Jim Gilboy and CMJ Marian Publishers. Jim is one of the kindest, God-loving men I have ever met. I feel protected by him. How many authors can say that about their publisher? I know he has my best interest at heart. Thank you, Jim, for being placed directly in my life by Our Lord and Savior to publish this book of love and hope. Heavenly Healing can be pre-ordered on CMJ's website: cmjbooks.com.

With love,

Bonnie

Temptations

As much as I want to believe I can resist temptation through my faith and love of Jesus, I am only a weak human being. But Lucifer (a very devout Catholic man told me to never call him satan or the devil as Lucifer is his angelic name and he hates to hear it!) knows when we are vulnerable and seeks to distract us with temptation at any given moment. A few months ago, I found myself going down a path that would only lead to mortal sin. Although I kept praying the Rosary every day, going to daily Mass, and reading from the Volumes, my heart was being pulled in a different direction. Insecurities derived from my childhood were being fed a poisonous piece of chocolate cake. So, instead of praying for my own strength, I kept reminding Our Lord of how weak I was. I needed the mindset of others to change, be distracted away from me. I called in the assistance of my two favorite saints, St. Faustina and St. Therese of Lisieux. Slowly, circumstances began changing; attitudes were shifting; and relationships were morphing into positive friendships. I am in awe, to say the least, at the power of heaven's assistance in protecting us while climbing the mountain. They saved me from stumbling back to where I began, with my eyes blinded by the worldly view. Despite the few steps backward, I am charging full force up that mountain to heaven with the confidence knowing I have some pretty powerful Friends!

Thank you, Jesus, for allowing me to know the true power of prayer. You are so merciful.

God bless,

Bonnie

Yes, prayers can be answered...in God's time, not ours!

Please forgive me for the lack of blogging last month as I was in the middle of having my prayers answered! My middle daughter Whitney and her fiance Kevin finished their Master's degrees and were looking for employment. With all my daughters grown, in college, and even married, it has been quite lonely without them. They are my life, my joy and most of all, a precious gift from God. Whitney and Kevin talked about moving back to Ft. Myers but would go where the jobs were. I had been going to Eucharistic Adoration once a week and praying for a job to open up for them here, close to home (God willing). To make a long story short, my future son-in-law got a job offer...guess where? Ft. Myers!! God is so good to me! They will temporarily be living with us until they purchase a home. This is going to be a fun ride!

Thank you, Lord, for listening to my prayers and giving me the patience to wait for them to be answered.

God bless,

Bonnie

Proud to be a Catholic!

I am still on cloud nine...My youngest daughter Taylor (age 20) and I (along with my friend Karen and her son Tim) went to the Eucharistic Day of Renewal in Justice, IL this past weekend. Friday night we attended the Re-Charge event, the youth division of DFOT headed by Nora McCarthy. I couldn't have asked for more seeing my daughter enjoy hanging out with a group of young discerning men and women (who, by the way, I adore!). Keith, Patrick, Ryan, Tim, Karen Anne, Emma, Kathleen, and Janie are young people discerning for the priesthood and religious life. They are full of energy and make it cool to be Catholic.

I was asked to do the first reading at the Mass on Saturday. Now, I don't have a problem getting up in front of a huge crowd to speak when I know the subject VERY well. But, doing a reading with some words in the bible that are foreign, that's a whole other cup of tea! Genesis 18 was the reading. I'm not sure which Bible I was reading from, but words like "womanly periods dried up" and "sexual pleasure" were in this version!! And, it was so long!! I could feel my voice shaking, but kept my pace slow while reading. But, I survived and my daughter said I did a great job. Well, what else could she say?

As expected, Anne's talk was, to say the least, inspiring. One point driven to the core was how much we hurt our beautiful Savior when we sin. Whether that be by addictions, pornography, even lying, He is with us in every moment. Something I need to remember when I am tempted by choices that will only benefit me, not the Heavenly Kingdom. But, I am only human and I sin. I am a sinner. There is only one perfect person that walked the face of this earth sinless. And He died for us so that our sins would be forgiven. Could you say you would die for someone so that their sins would be forgiven? People you don't even know?

Thank you, Jesus, for the sacrifice of Yourself, for me, Bonnie Shoemaker and everyone walking the face of this earth.

God bless,

Bonnie

Oh, the people you will meet...

My life as a lay apostle has been fruitful. Not only has my faith life grown tremendously, but the friendships I've made through writing Heavenly Healing are blessings. This morning is a shining example of God's goodness. The first time I met Judy, it was to record her testimony for the book. She lives close, so I met her for morning Mass in her parish. Little did I know when I saw this ray of sunshine she would become one of my very dear friends. A friend with the ability to understand me on a level many don't. After Mass, we decided to drive to Dunkin Donuts, the closest place to grab a cup of coffee. The connection was immediate. We talked for over 3 hours, only stopping because Judy had an appointment she was already late for. In parting, we both felt like we had known each other for decades, saying I love you to each other as we hugged goodbye. Judy volunteers full-time, glorifying God in everything she touches. She runs the parish store, serves at the local soup kitchen, leads many prayer groups, and started the first Lay Apostle prayer group in Florida. She takes on anything the Lord asks of her. She has enriched my life and filled a place in my heart that only she can fill. I am forever grateful to Our Lord and Savior for one of the truest friendships I have ever had.

Thank you, Lord, for filling the holes in my heart with friends like Judy, giving me added strength to follow in Your footsteps.

God bless,

Bonnie

Completed manuscript!!

Just a quick note...MY MANUSCRIPT IS COMPLETED!!!!! Yeah! I handed it off to Jane at Direction for our Times as she heads to Ireland tomorrow. She and Anne will hopefully get a chance to edit and read it. I can't tell you how good it feels to have completed my first book! I just pray it is what Jesus wants from me. Thank you to all for the love and support, and testimonies! I am forever thankful!

I must have done something good...

I love that song from The Sound of Music, don't you?  

But it rings true for me.  Some days I sit in amazement at the task the Lord has handed me in writing the testimony book for this apostolate.  He has entrusted me with the words of those who have been changed by Anne's messages from heaven.  I have traveled to meet lay apostles all over, Denver, Loveland, Dallas, Kailua, and in my own home state of Florida.   I have received beautiful testimonies from all over the world.  My love for Jesus and all of heaven grows stronger every day.  I have made so many new friends through this project.  Friends I will be in contact with forever.  They have all touched my heart and I am so thankful they let me into their lives.  

And, I finally have a title for the book:  Heavenly Healing.  Perfect, isn't it?  The title wasn't all my idea.  I knew I wanted the word "healing" but couldn't get it right.  So, I emailed Fr. Darragh (Anne's spiritual director) and asked for some Divine Intervention.  I asked for Anne to pray about it.  Then, a few days later, I received an email from Father with Anne's suggestion.  It was exactly what Jesus wanted it to be called.  It's perfect.

Thank you, Lord, for seeing past all my flaws and mistakes I've made.  I couldn't imagine working for anyone else!

Blessings, 

Bonnie S.

P.S.  As I promised the Lord, I have quit Botox injections.  I'm going on 7 months now.  I keep praying for Him to make it a gradual transition!

Clarity

The Lord has a great sense of humor.  I wanted some clarity in my life.  Sitting in the small chapel of Holy Trinity Abbey in Balleyjamesduff, Ireland for New Years Eve mass, I told the Lord I was ready to see whatever He was ready to reveal to me.  Anything.  I could handle it.  Father Jarrod began mass and welcomed my husband Steve and I to the Abbey.  We had spent a few hours with Father earlier that day, eating lunch with him, Fr. Killian, and Brother Brian.  After receiving the Holy Eucharist, I returned to my pew, kneeling in prayer.  

Then, out of the blue, I hear loud and clear, "Stop the Botox."  Huh?  Where did that come from?  It was so random. I hate to admit to my vanity, but years ago a friend talked me into getting Botox in my forehead.  It took years off my aging face.  I was hooked.  Like an alcoholic needing a drink or an addict needing a fix, I faithfully got my injections every four to five months.  Now, Jesus was asking me to stop?  I began negotiating with Him - anything else, Lord, I will gladly do.  The thought of discontinuing something that made me feel better about myself was disturbing.  Maybe it wasn't Jesus talking, just my mind wandering.  Uh huh.  

The next evening we attended the monthly lay apostle prayer group at St. Anne's in Bailieboro.  This is Anne's parish and she was there to give her talk before praying the Luminous Mysteries.  I again began to pray about clarity.  Did You really want me to stop the Botox?  Then, I felt the Lord's presence.  Within my soul I heard, "it's not about what's on the outside.  It's about what's on the inside for my lay apostles."  Ok, Lord, I hear You.  How could I refuse the request?  

Thank you, Lord, for speaking to me with words (aka Botox!) specifically to make me hear You.  

Blessings,

Bonnie S.

The Test of Faith

First, I want to wish all a very Merry Christmas.  This past week has been exhausting, to say the least.  I'm not referring to last minute shopping, which was the distraction I needed at the time.  In taking a stand for my faith and love of our Lord on a delicate issue within my family, an avalanche of wounding words and attacks on my Christianity materialized.  My heart was wounded.  In a way it had never been before.  After apologizing for causing waves via email, the attacks continued, one hurtful email after another.  My daughters were amazing and supportive, outraged at the slurs thrown at their mother.  As I carefully constructed an email defending myself and my faith, I felt the Lord prompt me to walk away from the computer before I hit the send button.  I found myself walking into the garage and pondering what the defensive email could evoke in those attacking.  After a few minutes, I went back and deleted the email.  In my second attempt at responding, the Lord placed graces in my heart to show His love and compassion.  

I have to give credit where credit is due.  The Volumes, Climbing the Mountain, Mist of Mercy and Serving in Clarity have changed my heart.  For those who know me, my family is my lifeline.  I would never have imagined such a huge rift would occur when taking a stand for decency.  But, the evil one knows where your vulnerabilities are, and will pounce when he sees the opportunity.  All I can say is, if this is all he has, bring it on!  The love and support of my daughters, husband, younger sister and fellow lay apostles through this difficult time has shown me what is most important in life.  The road of a Christian is a bumpy one.  And those that truly love you with the same goal of climbing the mountain to our beautiful Jesus' arms make the bumpy road a little less jolting.

Thank you Lord, for allowing others to refuel me with Your Love when I am down and in need of encouragement.  

Blessings,

Bonnie S.

Off to Ireland for the new year

Good morning, fellow (and future) lay apostles!  

I heard someone say the start of your new year sets the course for the year to come.  Well, I am going to have one amazing 2009!  My husband and I will be traveling to Ireland December 29th to visit Holy Trinity Abbey and attend the Lay Apostle prayer group at St. Anne's January 1st in Bailieborough.  To hear the monthly message from Jesus as given to Anne, a lay apostle will be the highlight of my trip.  I anticipate the first of every month, as do all lay apostles.  To hear the message firsthand, before the rest of the world, feels like a privilege.  January 2nd I will be meeting with Anne and Fr. Darragh (Anne's spiritual director) at the DFOT mission office to discuss the testimony book and determine a timeline.  I know Jesus has a plan for me, and I couldn't be more thankful He chose this apostolate as my destiny.  

Thank you, Lord, for the overflowing graces and Your loving guidance as I embark on the most important work of my life.

Blessings, 

Bonnie S.

A Time For Thanksgiving

I have been an "empty nester" for almost 2 years now.  I am adjusting to the quiet life and actually enjoy it at times.  This Thanksgiving two of my daughters are not able to come home to celebrate with us.  So, this year, it's just three of us.  Last night my youngest daughter arrived as she and her sisters normally do, honking the horn relentlessly until I come running out the door to greet them.  She jumped out of her car and headed right for my outstretched arms.  Oh, what a feeling!

We entertained ourselves most of the evening creating goofy pictures of the two of us on Mac Photo Booth.  I don't think I have laughed that hard for a long time.  I went to bed last night asking the Lord how I was worthy enough to be so blessed.  My youngest was so full of joy and light it was infectious.  She gave me the laughter I missed so much and I gave her the warmth and comfort of her mother's arms.  I have so much to be thankful for.  

Thank you, Lord, for the joy, laughter and love of my daughters.  May Your light shine within each of them forever.

Blessings, 

Bonnie S.

Change

When the monthly message for November 1 arrived, my stomach tensed a bit.  I reread it again.  Then, my phone rang.  "Mom," said my oldest daughter in a panicked voice.  "Did you read the monthly message from Jesus?  Does this mean Obama will be elected?"  My gut instinct as I read it for the first time duplicated my daughter's.  She is employed full time and a grad student at The Institute of World Politics in Washington, D.C.  And, I might add, a very conservative Republican.  I tried to console her, explaining it could mean any kind of change, not specifically Obama's potential presidency.  My words pacified her for the time being.  

Election night proved more challenging.  Nothing I said eased her disappointment or mine.  The next morning I located the monthly message and began to read it to her as she inched her way in D.C. traffic.  I repeated this part several times to etch it in her brain, and mine:  

In seeking the good of all of God's children, I must allow changes to come which will 

impact all of God's children.  I do this to bring about the goodness and peace I refer to but the change will be gradual in terms of the benefits to come.  Trust Me in every-

thing.

I must admit the words that once caused panic now comfort me.  Jesus continues to tell us the same thing over and over, TRUST ME!  Now, more than ever, is the time to heed His advice.

Thank you, Lord, for continually reminding me to trust You.  Bless me with the graces to pass Your peace on to others.

Blessings,

Bonnie S.

 

Tolerance

Where do we draw the line when others treat us with disrespect?  

Tacked to the corkboard I stare at every day while writing is a small pamphlet I received in the mail from the Oblates of St. Frances de Sales.  There is a section called "The Little Virtues."

There are "little virtues" to practice every day of the week.  Here they are:

God, throughout this week, grant me the grace to become more Christlike.  Each day, a step at a time, help me to become a saint through the practice of

The Little Virtues

Sunday:  A cheerful bearing with our own imperfections and limitations.

Monday:  Patient endurance of the small acts of selfishness and injustice of others.

Tuesday:  A gentle voice and a calm manner.

Wednesday:  An agreeable manner of answering those who speak disagreeably to us.

Thursday:  A cheerful tolerance of the tiresome tempers of our neighbors.

Friday:  A pleasant manner of accepting a refusal.

Saturday:  Showing appreciation even if we dislike being indebted.

These aren't easy to execute on a daily basis.  It takes practice.  I do see small changes in my behavior from daily reading of the virtues.  But the question still remains, after tolerating disrespect, what is the next step to heal our wounded heart?

The younger me would blow up on the spot and point out the impolite behavior.  But the older me tries to see the bigger picture.  I can't remember how many times I explained to my daughters growing up that when others say mean things or treat you badly, maybe someone treated them worse earlier and that hurt is being taken out on you.  Looking at the bigger picture helps the immediate pain, but sometimes it continues to linger until a resolution is achieved.

As hard as it can be, I am trying to kindly approach those that offend me in word or action.  No matter the outcome, I find peace in having done my part to get closure.  

Thank you, Lord, for St. Frances de Sales and his "little virtues."  

Blessings,

Bonnie

Back to the land of the living

As I slowly crawl my way back to reality, it is hard to believe my daughter's wedding quickly came and went faster than the blink of an eye.  She is now a happily married woman on her honeymoon with the man of her dreams.  Love at its best.  She was the most beautiful bride I have ever seen (of course, I'm not prejudiced!) and helping her adorn her wedding gown and veil in the small room provided at the church was overwhelming.  I stepped back and for an instant I saw my little curly headed blonde looking to me for comfort from a bad dream.  Now, 25 years later, she looks at me searching for that same comfort.  The tears in my eyes and smile on my face assure her everything will be ok.  

I knew all along that my son-in-law was heaven sent.  He adores my daughter and I have never doubted that.  But to see his face when she appeared to walk down the aisle, sheer love and joy (and a huge grin) took over his whole being.  What more could a mother ask for?

Thank you, Lord, for allowing me the privilege of raising three daughters who love You and for the men You have sent to love them.

Blessings,

Bonnie S.

Living our Faith

There is a church in Lafayette, Colorado called Immaculate Conception we attend when my husband and I visit monthly.  For years the church operated out of a small building close to downtown (Lafayette is a VERY small town, one main street running through the center).  A new church has been erected about a mile away from the old building.  I enjoyed the services and Father Amundsen in the small church, but never really felt a connection to this parish.  The first time I attended mass in the new facility, I was immediately drawn to the passion and power the Lord had infused in my absence.  The sanctuary is beautiful and full of life.  But, most importantly, the people seem different.  Happier.  Maybe it's just me, but the Light of the Lord is present in smiles as we greet each other and offer peace. Maybe I wasn't paying attention before.  I didn't think I would ever find a church as wonderful as St. Cecilia's.  Immaculate Conception is my home away from home.  

In the sermon this weekend, the parable of the two sons whose father made a request of each was told.  One son replied "no" to his father and later decided to comply with the request. The other son said "yes" to his father's request and never complied.  Which son was worse?  

In living our faith, we must not only say we are Christians, but act like Christians in everything we do.  We need to say yes to Our Father and follow the path His Son has laid out for us.  We are only human and we will falter at times.  And when we do, the Lord is always there with a loving embrace to put us back on track again.

Thank you, Lord, for leading me back to the path when I tend to stray.

Blessings,

Bonnie S.

Good friends

Driving away with Starbucks in my rearview mirror, I couldn't help wonder how I got so lucky.  

Four of us met for coffee after our Lay Apostle prayer meeting today.  We laughed, discussed serious issues and, I believe, solved all the world problems in just a few hours!  Well, maybe on a local level, for now.  Our discussion was focused on a conflict that had arisen in our group.  First and foremost was navigating a path to resolving the issue as Jesus would want us to...with kindness and love.  If only everyone approached difficult situations with the compassion and insight displayed today...

Allocating time in their busy schedules to meet for coffee, these women have shared a piece of themselves with me over the last nine months and enriched my life more than they will ever know.  The beauty that exudes in abundance from each of them is blinding at times.  I feel privileged to be a part of this group.  

Thank you, Lord, for leading me to a place where my crosses become a little lighter.

Blessings,

Bonnie S.

Trusting in Him

An amazing thing happened to me a few weeks ago.  Now, get ready, I am going to reveal something about myself that not many know about.  After my first marriage ended in divorce, I ducked the issue of annulment for the last ten years.  I justified, in my own mind, that it WAS a valid marriage and didn't want my three daughters to be considered "illegitimate" in the eyes of the church.  I just couldn't do it.  Period.  The thought of not receiving communion for the length of time it takes for the annulment to come through was unbearable.  

But, as my relationship with Jesus becomes stronger, and the more trust I put in Him, the better things work out in the long run.  So, after the nudging of a woman I confided in from my prayer group, I decided it was time.  That Sunday I had to start doing the right thing in the eyes of my Catholic church.  And receiving communion without the annulment didn't feel right.  So, I let the others in my row pass as they made their way to the alter.   This was heartwrenching as communion has always been special to me.  After leaving church, I knew I made the right decision.  

I scheduled time with my priest to talk about a few things.  As he will be officiating at my daughter's wedding, I suppose he thought I wanted to talk about that.  I was so nervous to tell him about my situation, but a good friend calmed me down as I sat in the parking lot of the church.  I walked in Father's office and blurted out everything!  He sat there calmly listening and asked a few questions.  When I answered "no" to all three, he said "you don't need an annulment, you just need to file a 'lack of form' document."  WHAT????  He pulled out his book of Canon laws to make sure, and lo and behold, no annulment needed!  I began crying tears of joy and relief.  I can't tell you how heavy that cross was for ten years.  I think the news was a gift from Jesus that day.  No, I KNOW it was.  He is so good to me.  I must remember and give thanks daily for the strength he has bestowed upon me to make it through each and every challenge I face.  Trusting Him is becoming easier and easier the more I let Him handle things.  Trust comes in when accepting whatever happens as His will.  

Thank you, Lord, for showing me I CAN trust You in everything.  Your will be done.

Blessings,

Bonnie S.