Jay and I were blessed to be a part of a client's end of life process with her and her husband. After completing a round of chemotherapy, she learned her cancer treatments failed and new tumors were forming in her lungs. Her pain had become uncontrollable, so we stepped in upon their request. After a week of going back and forth to her oncologist's office, trying to get her an appointment with a pain specialist who was booked and couldn't get her in until the following Monday, they ended up taking her to hospice. Her faith was incredibly strong and secure. She was ready to go if it was God's will. Well, as I had seen with my own mother after regaining pain control, she began to improve! One week after being admitted to hospice, they were telling her/her husband it was time to check out. Her response . . . check out as in heaven or check out of hospice! She was able to spend the rest of her time on earth in the comfort of her own home with 24/hr care. During her last month, she had a constant flow of visitors, held prayer group meeting in her living room, and felt incredibly blessed God gave her the extra time with her husband and friends. She was in her seventies, but always had the energy of a 30-year-old and dying was not slowing her down.
For the last 2 weeks of her life, every time we called to confirm our scheduled visit with her, her husband would ask that we postpone our visit because she had other people coming over or she wasn't feeling well. So here is where today's Gospel made me think of this particular circumstance . . . we gladly stepped in to help them (she did not have children), they embraced us as their family. We spent a lot of time helping with all aspects of their lives, and (remember this is my thought process!) they didn't have time to see us? Honestly, I hate to admit it, but it miffed me a little. As always, talking it out with my husband (forever the optimist) made me realize it is NOT ABOUT ME! They were not my family, had their own lives, and though they loved us and we loved them, it was about her journey toward eternity. It was about my service to her and her husband, with no expectations of anything in return. Not always an easy lesson, but such an important life skill to shoot for! It's now been almost a year since she passed and Jay still meets with her husband every other week for coffee. There are so many grieving people in the world. How can we make their lives easier in some small (or big) way?
In today's Gospel (Matthew 20: 20-28), Jesus gives His disciples a lesson in humility:
Then the mother of the sons of Zebedee approached Jesus with her sons and did him homage, wishing to ask him for something. He said to her, “What do you wish?” She answered him, “Command that these two sons of mine sit, one at your right and the other at your left, in your kingdom.” Jesus said in reply, “You do not know what you are asking. Can you drink the chalice that I am going to drink?” They said to him, “We can.”
He replied, “My chalice you will indeed drink, but to sit at my right and at my left, this is not mine to give but is for those for whom it has been prepared by my Father.” When the ten heard this, they became indignant at the two brothers. But Jesus summoned them and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and the great ones make their authority over them felt. But it shall not be so among you. Rather, whoever wishes to be great among you shall be your servant; whoever wishes to be first among you shall be your slave. Just so, the Son of Man did not come to be served but to serve and to give his life as a ransom for many.”
In the February 2011 Monthly Message, Jesus clarifies the importance of our uniqueness:
“Truly, I know that there are times when you wonder why I have placed you where I have placed you. I hope, dear apostles, that these times are brief. I hope that you will spend less time wondering why you are serving in a given role and more time wondering how to serve more completely in the role given to you. You see, comparisons to others will never bear fruit. You are unique. The work I have for you is unique and you must beware of the habit of dragging your vocation behind you as though it were something so heavy that it destroyed your joy.”
Serving others without wanting to be served in return is not always the easiest of Jesus' requests! Occasionally, I do want relationships to be reciprocal. But when they are not, I pray for a servant's heart. I pray for Christ to take away the desire to be needed/loved in return. I pray the Litany of Humility, something I need to get back in the habit of reading every day. Today, lay apostles, serve someone with no anticipation of anything in return. Bring Jesus to those in need of His Love without any strings attached. Not in the mood to serve today? Ask Him for the graces to make the first move!
Thank you, Lord, for showing me what true service to others looks like. Please send me the graces to follow in Your footsteps and serve without ceasing.
God bless,
Bonnie
For the last 2 weeks of her life, every time we called to confirm our scheduled visit with her, her husband would ask that we postpone our visit because she had other people coming over or she wasn't feeling well. So here is where today's Gospel made me think of this particular circumstance . . . we gladly stepped in to help them (she did not have children), they embraced us as their family. We spent a lot of time helping with all aspects of their lives, and (remember this is my thought process!) they didn't have time to see us? Honestly, I hate to admit it, but it miffed me a little. As always, talking it out with my husband (forever the optimist) made me realize it is NOT ABOUT ME! They were not my family, had their own lives, and though they loved us and we loved them, it was about her journey toward eternity. It was about my service to her and her husband, with no expectations of anything in return. Not always an easy lesson, but such an important life skill to shoot for! It's now been almost a year since she passed and Jay still meets with her husband every other week for coffee. There are so many grieving people in the world. How can we make their lives easier in some small (or big) way?
In today's Gospel (Matthew 20: 20-28), Jesus gives His disciples a lesson in humility:
Then the mother of the sons of Zebedee approached Jesus with her sons and did him homage, wishing to ask him for something. He said to her, “What do you wish?” She answered him, “Command that these two sons of mine sit, one at your right and the other at your left, in your kingdom.” Jesus said in reply, “You do not know what you are asking. Can you drink the chalice that I am going to drink?” They said to him, “We can.”
He replied, “My chalice you will indeed drink, but to sit at my right and at my left, this is not mine to give but is for those for whom it has been prepared by my Father.” When the ten heard this, they became indignant at the two brothers. But Jesus summoned them and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and the great ones make their authority over them felt. But it shall not be so among you. Rather, whoever wishes to be great among you shall be your servant; whoever wishes to be first among you shall be your slave. Just so, the Son of Man did not come to be served but to serve and to give his life as a ransom for many.”
In the February 2011 Monthly Message, Jesus clarifies the importance of our uniqueness:
“Truly, I know that there are times when you wonder why I have placed you where I have placed you. I hope, dear apostles, that these times are brief. I hope that you will spend less time wondering why you are serving in a given role and more time wondering how to serve more completely in the role given to you. You see, comparisons to others will never bear fruit. You are unique. The work I have for you is unique and you must beware of the habit of dragging your vocation behind you as though it were something so heavy that it destroyed your joy.”
Serving others without wanting to be served in return is not always the easiest of Jesus' requests! Occasionally, I do want relationships to be reciprocal. But when they are not, I pray for a servant's heart. I pray for Christ to take away the desire to be needed/loved in return. I pray the Litany of Humility, something I need to get back in the habit of reading every day. Today, lay apostles, serve someone with no anticipation of anything in return. Bring Jesus to those in need of His Love without any strings attached. Not in the mood to serve today? Ask Him for the graces to make the first move!
Thank you, Lord, for showing me what true service to others looks like. Please send me the graces to follow in Your footsteps and serve without ceasing.
God bless,
Bonnie
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