Suffering . . . the word itself is enough to send anyone running in the opposite direction! While contemplating this "word" from the Gospel today, my thoughts shifted to caring for my parents at end of life. Dad's end was distinctly different from Mom's. Dad always had a pretty good attitude and never once complained after surrendering his once independent life to living in my home full time. He accepted his suffering like a champion (metastatic malignant melanoma), and when he asked for pain medication, which he rarely did, I knew it was pretty bad. Every day for those precious four months I had with him (24/7) were filled with routine . . . morning coffee, out to the patio to smoke, and 10am Price is Right during the week! Afternoons were spent watching sports and occasional rides to Target (his favorite store!) just to get him out of the house. Despite the good days, the suffering was mutual. To see my strong, sports-loving father wither away into a thin, frail man broke my heart at times. His last moment on Earth was exactly what he had asked for and what my sister and I promised . . . we would be holding his hand when he took his last breath. It was as calm and peaceful as he had lived most of his life.
Now, my mother on the other hand . . . well, let's just say her end of life was consistent with her life on earth. A lifetime of mental illness was full of highs and lows. I know, in my heart, she suffered her purgatory on Earth. Always tormented by her traumatic childhood, her last weeks in hospice seemed she would leave this earth just as tormented. It was Lent and a visiting priest came in to see her. After he left, my sister and I read to mom (she wasn't responding at this point, but constantly scowling) from a Lenten devotional which happened to be on forgiveness that day. There were so many people who had hurt my mom as a child, and I believe she had held those hurts close. We encouraged her to forgive her tormenters so she could move on to paradise. That evening, something had changed . . . Mom had the most peaceful look on her face. And it remained until she passed away a few days later. Not only was she relieved of her earthly suffering, but now my sister and I could release ours too.
Today's Gospel (Luke 16:19-31) reminds us that suffering on earth is worth our eternity in heaven:
Jesus said to the Pharisees: “There was a rich man who dressed in purple garments and fine linen and dined sumptuously each day. And lying at his door was a poor man named Lazarus, covered with sores, who would gladly have eaten his fill of the scraps that fell from the rich man’s table. Dogs even used to come and lick his sores. When the poor man died, he was carried away by angels to the bosom of Abraham. The rich man also died and was buried, and from the netherworld, where he was in torment, he raised his eyes and saw Abraham far off and Lazarus at his side. And he cried out, ‘Father Abraham, have pity on me. Send Lazarus to dip the tip of his finger in water and cool my tongue, for I am suffering torment in these flames.’ Abraham replied, ‘My child, remember that you received what was good during your lifetime while Lazarus likewise received what was bad; but now he is comforted here, whereas you are tormented. Moreover, between us and you a great chasm is established to prevent anyone from crossing who might wish to go from our side to yours or from your side to ours.’ He said, ‘Then I beg you, father, send him to my father’s house, for I have five brothers, so that he may warn them, lest they too come to this place of torment.’ But Abraham replied, ‘They have Moses and the prophets.
Let them listen to them.’ He said, ‘Oh no, father Abraham, but if someone from the dead goes to them, they will repent.’ Then Abraham said, ‘If they will not listen to Moses and the prophets, neither will they be persuaded if someone should rise from the dead.’“
The quote by Anne below from her book Staying in Place correlates so well with my thought process today and spotlights my Lenten objective:
"For our Apostolate, let us focus on the people God has placed in our care. For us, Church must be found in the needs of God’s children around us. If we become temporarily discouraged by mistreatment in the Church, then we will look to the people in whom God has placed the Church around us, and we will persevere. The Church as the Bride of Christ is a spiritual institution. The most severe temptations will not sway us if we focus on our work, studying people’s pain and asking ourselves where love wants to go in the moment. The inevitable ups and downs of our experience as Catholics in the Church will not shake our resolve because we do not stare into the Church demanding something but stare into the people around us offering something. The sacramental graces of the Church sustain us along with our relationship with Christ in the Eucharist. Contemplation of people and their wounds will inspire us to give generously of all that we have.
Christ was not usually thanked and blessed. He was usually rejected and distorted. He is the One we follow. His experience will be ours, undoubtedly, to a greater or lesser degree. Suffering should not alarm us, but confirm us in our service."
Lay apostles, we all have suffered spiritually, mentally, emotionally or physically to one degree or another over the span of our lives so far. I love the last line in the above quote by Anne, "Suffering should not alarm us, but confirm us in our service." Suffering is not unique to certain people. My suffering is exclusive to me. As much as I would like things to go differently at times, it's not the path Jesus has in mind. The older I get, the more my eyes are opened to the reality that life is full of ups and downs. Mentally preparing for any kind of suffering can be done on a daily basis . . . by trusting Our Lord is maneuvering us on our path for His Glory!
Thank you, Lord, for the preparation you have done in my heart and mind leading me to where I am today. Although I have so much more to learn and practice, I know trusting in You will sustain me.
God bless,
Bonnie
Now, my mother on the other hand . . . well, let's just say her end of life was consistent with her life on earth. A lifetime of mental illness was full of highs and lows. I know, in my heart, she suffered her purgatory on Earth. Always tormented by her traumatic childhood, her last weeks in hospice seemed she would leave this earth just as tormented. It was Lent and a visiting priest came in to see her. After he left, my sister and I read to mom (she wasn't responding at this point, but constantly scowling) from a Lenten devotional which happened to be on forgiveness that day. There were so many people who had hurt my mom as a child, and I believe she had held those hurts close. We encouraged her to forgive her tormenters so she could move on to paradise. That evening, something had changed . . . Mom had the most peaceful look on her face. And it remained until she passed away a few days later. Not only was she relieved of her earthly suffering, but now my sister and I could release ours too.
Today's Gospel (Luke 16:19-31) reminds us that suffering on earth is worth our eternity in heaven:
Jesus said to the Pharisees: “There was a rich man who dressed in purple garments and fine linen and dined sumptuously each day. And lying at his door was a poor man named Lazarus, covered with sores, who would gladly have eaten his fill of the scraps that fell from the rich man’s table. Dogs even used to come and lick his sores. When the poor man died, he was carried away by angels to the bosom of Abraham. The rich man also died and was buried, and from the netherworld, where he was in torment, he raised his eyes and saw Abraham far off and Lazarus at his side. And he cried out, ‘Father Abraham, have pity on me. Send Lazarus to dip the tip of his finger in water and cool my tongue, for I am suffering torment in these flames.’ Abraham replied, ‘My child, remember that you received what was good during your lifetime while Lazarus likewise received what was bad; but now he is comforted here, whereas you are tormented. Moreover, between us and you a great chasm is established to prevent anyone from crossing who might wish to go from our side to yours or from your side to ours.’ He said, ‘Then I beg you, father, send him to my father’s house, for I have five brothers, so that he may warn them, lest they too come to this place of torment.’ But Abraham replied, ‘They have Moses and the prophets.
Let them listen to them.’ He said, ‘Oh no, father Abraham, but if someone from the dead goes to them, they will repent.’ Then Abraham said, ‘If they will not listen to Moses and the prophets, neither will they be persuaded if someone should rise from the dead.’“
The quote by Anne below from her book Staying in Place correlates so well with my thought process today and spotlights my Lenten objective:
"For our Apostolate, let us focus on the people God has placed in our care. For us, Church must be found in the needs of God’s children around us. If we become temporarily discouraged by mistreatment in the Church, then we will look to the people in whom God has placed the Church around us, and we will persevere. The Church as the Bride of Christ is a spiritual institution. The most severe temptations will not sway us if we focus on our work, studying people’s pain and asking ourselves where love wants to go in the moment. The inevitable ups and downs of our experience as Catholics in the Church will not shake our resolve because we do not stare into the Church demanding something but stare into the people around us offering something. The sacramental graces of the Church sustain us along with our relationship with Christ in the Eucharist. Contemplation of people and their wounds will inspire us to give generously of all that we have.
Christ was not usually thanked and blessed. He was usually rejected and distorted. He is the One we follow. His experience will be ours, undoubtedly, to a greater or lesser degree. Suffering should not alarm us, but confirm us in our service."
Lay apostles, we all have suffered spiritually, mentally, emotionally or physically to one degree or another over the span of our lives so far. I love the last line in the above quote by Anne, "Suffering should not alarm us, but confirm us in our service." Suffering is not unique to certain people. My suffering is exclusive to me. As much as I would like things to go differently at times, it's not the path Jesus has in mind. The older I get, the more my eyes are opened to the reality that life is full of ups and downs. Mentally preparing for any kind of suffering can be done on a daily basis . . . by trusting Our Lord is maneuvering us on our path for His Glory!
Thank you, Lord, for the preparation you have done in my heart and mind leading me to where I am today. Although I have so much more to learn and practice, I know trusting in You will sustain me.
God bless,
Bonnie
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