Anne's First Thursday Talk

March 2016 First Thursday Talk for prayer groups and personal reflection. Available in both video and text (below).

 

 

(click photo to play video)

Good evening. We are walking together steadily through Lent. And like Jesus, we experience temptations. We can certainly be tempted to lose sight of the reasons why we take on Lenten offerings of purification or prayer. But it is good that we remind ourselves that there is a divide to be crossed between our human instincts and our higher instincts.

What is important? Why do penance? Why commit to more disciplined prayer? What might be God’s goals in drawing us into periods where we try to put some order on the demands of our body or the distractions of our soul? Well, anyone listening has, at some point, probably had a moment when he or she experienced God’s love, God’s presence. Maybe we felt certainty that we were loved. Maybe we had an experience of watching someone pray and knowing, really knowing that God was present. And then we wanted that, too, in a longing to do better and to be at peace. We were, in some way, inspired. Maybe this happened on a pilgrimage, or in prayer or simply as we walked down a street or maybe it was in a dream, what psychology would call a BIG dream, that we remember and that comes back to us.

What is relevant about these moments of grace? Well, we are humble at those moments. We feel an overall feeling that there is a plan, we are part of it and even while we need to strive for greater holiness, always, we are somehow fit to contribute and indeed, we are asked to contribute. At the lowest points of people’s lives, they have to be reminded by us, their brothers and sisters, that they are important and that their contribution is needed. But generally, after an experience of God, we feel calm and energized. We feel like everything will probably be just fine.

I remember a mother telling me this story. She was single and had adopted two daughters on her own. She knew that she had her hands full but somewhere in her, she wondered if she should adopt one more child. Now everyone would say to her, you can’t. It’s too much. Forget about it. And so she went on. But one night she had a dream. And in the dream, she saw Our Lady holding a little boy. And Our Lady said to her in the dream, you do not have to do this. But he is here for you if you want to take him.

Well, that was it. From that moment this woman knew she had a son. She simply had to find him. And so she looked in China, where she had adopted her two daughters. The only boys up for adoption had disabilities, which was fine. And one day, she found a picture of a little boy and in her heart, she instantly recognized him. She had certainty. And when she showed the picture to another family member, who had advised her not to adopt another child, that family member said, ‘Go. Get him fast. He’s part of our family’. And so she did. And when the process was difficult she remembered that dream and it sustained her. And periodically she would think of it, and the wonder and awe she first felt would flood back to her. And she knew that she was not alone and that she was acting in union with God and for God.

Sometimes, when we need something badly, just at the right time, it comes. There is the saying which we at the lay apostolate would agree with that we do not believe in miracles, we rely on them. This is true for us. God makes himself known regularly. But I think God does this for all of us. And I think we need to better recognize and celebrate these moments as gifts. God is guiding us and He could only love us, regardless of our condition. So we are not trying to prove anything to God through Lenten practices. We are trying to cross the divide from no self-awareness to greater self-awareness.

When we try to get our bodies in line, and our bodies object, either through fasting or rising early or what have you….we become aware of attachments. And when we try to pray more often or in a more disciplined manner, we become aware of how disconnected we can be from God’s reassurance, peace and direction.

And when we try to forgive and it is difficult, we become aware of how badly hurt we were or still are. And so, the more we learn about ourselves in God’s light, the more we know where our difficulties are and where our strengths lie. This is good for us and God wants us to grow. And if we never investigate or challenge our ways of being or thinking, we can be prone to drifting. And we can lose altitude on the mountain of holiness. We can slip down, and backwards and of course, land badly. Because we all know, there is an easy way and a hard way.

And so maybe lent is about submitting ourselves to a little bit of scrutiny in God’s light, partially by challenging our habits and testing our prayer lives. And maybe, just maybe, we can look back at some of our difficulties in life and recognize that in those difficulties we found growth that we did not think possible and strength that we never knew we had. And so, if that is true, then it must be true that any difficulties we have now, our current struggles, also hold growth opportunities and God will again give us all of the strength that we need. Because we weren’t built to be overwhelmed by life. We were built to transform through the circumstances we have to negotiate. We have what it takes to do what God needs us to do. If we want to add 10 more things to our day, over and above what God needs from us, well, then, we might find ourselves in trouble, overwhelmed. The temptation to be overwhelmed through a lack of balance in life is real. But balance is a movable target and while it might not be possible to find balance in each day, it can be sought in each week, month and year.

Perhaps the measure of our condition could be found in our ability to experience wonder and awe and to ponder beauty and love. What do we find beautiful? What makes us pause and simply admire a thing or marvel? Where do we recognize God’s hand most often? Is it music? Art work? An ocean? A sky? A flower? A baby’s face or the face of an older person? What is it? Because, my friends, we should seek it out and revel in it. We should celebrate it in our memories, even. We should regularly sit quietly and recall moments of wonder and re-experience them in our minds.

We can all be prone to cynicism or fatalism and when this happens to us, we need to experience more wonder and awe. We need to seek it out. So let us ask ourselves this question.  What fills me with amazement? What lifts my thoughts to endless possibilities or causes me to stop in our tracks? What makes me laugh out loud in joy?

For some, it is stars. Others love animals or nature. Some people find it in science or in really lovely writing. God, I believe, can be glimpsed in these ways. And sometimes people who do not believe in God are mystified at belief. But I see it this way. If I were to say to you, this room is full of this, you cannot see it, but it’s keeping us all alive and without it we will all die. A person who has never been taught science would discount my sentence out of hand and say, there’s nothing in this room other than what I can see’. A person who has been taught science would think….’that’s obvious. She is talking about oxygen.’

We want to experience God as clearly as possible. We want to be open to the opportunities for wonder and awe that surround us. Our little human being is meant to live in harmony with the reality of our spirituality. We are capable of great things spiritually. But we have to want them, decide for them and go after them.

Think about a young person who tells you they want to be a doctor. This person never goes to class, drinks a lot, spends their college money foolishly and thinks that most doctors are really frauds who do not care about their patients. Would you be entirely convinced that this person would become a doctor in the future? No. And no matter what this person says, we would really query the desire. This person is not behaving like he wants to be a doctor.

In the same way, we are supposed to be heading for sainthood. Why should we want to become saints? Well, because a moment could come and we would not want to be caught unprepared. .Think about it. Jesus lived his life for His Father. And at the final moment of testing, what he did was quite logical. He proceeded. He took the next step into the Father’s will. He was prepared for the acceptance of his death by the daily offerings of his life. He was disciplined in putting the Father first and submitting to death for the sake of others. That’s not a little thing. But we are all called to do it in some fashion, each day. And when the really big trials come? Will we be fit for them, as Jesus was?

It depends. Are we attached to the opinions of others? or have we engaged with injustice and used it to become detached? Are we able to tell our bodies no. that we cannot just take everything they want? or do we justify bad habits and refuse to forgive, heal and grow? Do we live our faith, based on our feelings? Meaning, I don’t feel like going to mass or I don’t feel like going to confession? Do we gossip, negatively scrutinize ourselves and others or judge people whom we know little about? Do we keep company with people going in the opposite direction and fool ourselves into thinking it doesn’t affect us? Do we lack hope, for ourselves, others and the world? If these things describe us….should we be entirely convinced that we are headed in the most direct way for sainthood?

And that, my friends, is why we need Lent. To gently correct ourselves where we need correcting. To identify negative habits and patterns of thinking and behaving that are not helpful. But more importantly, to take on habits that are helpful and life giving. In Lent, we should practice accepting little challenges and trying to slip right back into wonder and awe as a way to heal on the spot. We can move through life with such lightness if we choose to. We can carry nothing into the next moments. In some kitchens there are signs that say, clean as you go. I certainly agree! And in life we should think of a sign that says grow as you go. And then we will use each situation as practice for even greater challenges.

Through Lent, let us each come to see more of the love of God and understand where we, too, can be selfless and courageous and willing to die to self for each other, like Jesus did for each one of us.

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