Believing . . . Not Always So Easy

I want to sit here and tell you I trust God completely in everything . . . that I don't worry about a thing. But the truth is, at times, believing is not always so easy. When I become apprehensive about any given situation, my first thought is how to prepare myself for possible devastation . . . not "ok God, I'm giving You this one!" So what does that mean? Well, lay apostles, it means I am only human and a work in progress. The art of going to Him first takes practice. It's called blind faith, right? Resting in His merciful arms, knowing He planned my life before I was even born is a calming thought. (“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations.” Jeremiah 1:5) It helps to regain peace in my constantly overactive brain. There is a song by a group named Building 429 called "I Believe." I think this first verse sums it all up for me:

  

Walk blindly to the light 

and reach out for His hand 

Don’t ask any questions 

and don’t try to understand 

Open up your mind 

and then open up your heart 

You will see that you 

and me aren't very far apart 

Todays Gospel (Mark 6:1-6) reminded me to never forget what I claim to believe . . . He is my Savior:

Jesus departed from there and came to his native place, accompanied by his disciples. When the sabbath came he began to teach in the synagogue, and many who heard him were astonished.  They said, “Where did this man get all this?  What kind of wisdom has been given him?  What mighty deeds are wrought by his hands! Is he not the carpenter, the son of Mary, and the brother of James and Joseph and Judas and Simon? And are not his sisters here with us?”  And they took offense at him.  Jesus said to them, “A prophet is not without honor except in his native place and among his own kin and in his own house.”  So he was not able to perform any mighty deed there, apart from curing a few sick people by laying his hands on them. He was amazed at their lack of faith.

In Anne a lay apostle's book The Mist of Mercy, she describes so perfectly the difference between saying you believe in Christ and actually living your life for Him:

"Jesus began to talk about souls. He said that purgatory prompts and completes the process of self-acceptance. Jesus explained this. Some souls understand that Jesus exists. They believe in God. They do not live this belief, however, and they do not make decisions based on their belief. They do not serve. Some souls understand that Jesus exists. They believe in God. They make many decisions based on this belief and live good lives. They serve partially. Some souls understand that Jesus exists. They believe in God. They live this belief and make most or all of their decisions based on this belief. These souls are saints. They serve in near totality. It is a challenge for a person to conform his life to something he has not seen but therein lay the merit of our earthly service. We do not see this heavenly Kingdom. We do not see the saints who have gone before us. We cannot touch the stones or trees or water in heaven. We are, however, given great grace in our souls with which to understand and believe the truths of God. The Sacraments provide treasures of grace to strengthen our understanding of God. Souls who live for the world deny these truths. They do not wish to believe because they do not wish to serve God. They desire their own will. When these souls die, they have to come to terms with the fact that they knew God existed and chose against Him on some occasions. They have to admit and acknowledge that they knew of God’s existence because this is the land of truth and there is no bantering or word play. The truth is plain to see here. On earth souls try to tie each other up in knots with clever arguments designed to distract from the truth. This will not work in the heavenly Kingdom. We will be able to relax there and there will be no need to be clever in that respect. This will be a relief because one gets tired of having to constantly expose the enemy’s distortions and traps."  

Lay apostles, no one ever said this life would be without suffering. If Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, the Son of God suffered . . . well, we have nothing to complain about. When anxiety, fear, pain or suffering cause us to go into "protect ourselves" mode, remember, He has your back. No matter what. So, believe the words of the Gospel to be true. Let's not let Him be amazed at our lack of faith!

Thank you, Lord, for the trials and tribulations of this life. Help me to turn to You first and foremost for comfort and healing.

God bless,
Bonnie