Me? Stubborn? No, it's not stubbornness, it's just strength of mind or will the way I see it. When I feel very passionate about my viewpoint, it's hard to convince me otherwise. But when it's my way or the highway, how does that allow another to have their own viewpoint? I used to see everything as black or white . . . no shades of gray in between. Either you do or you don't. With age comes wisdom (thank GOD!). I can accept opinions in conflict with my own. I may be hurt or upset at first, but the love of Christ always leads me to forgiveness. I never want to disappoint Him. And when I don't forgive, I'm hurting Him. As long as I keep Him in the middle, I can't see anything other than His way.
In todays Gospel (Matthew 18:21-35), Peter is probably not so thrilled with Jesus' response to his question:
Peter approached Jesus and asked him, “Lord, if my brother sins against me, how often must I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus answered, “I say to you, not seven times but seventy-seven times. That is why the Kingdom of heaven may be likened to a king who decided to settle accounts with his servants. When he began the accounting, a debtor was brought before him who owed him a huge amount. Since he had no way of paying it back, his master ordered him to be sold, along with his wife, his children, and all his property, in payment of the debt. At that, the servant fell down, did him homage, and said, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay you back in full.’ Moved with compassion the master of that servant let him go and forgave him the loan. When that servant had left, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a much smaller amount. He seized him and started to choke him, demanding, ‘Pay back what you owe.’ Falling to his knees, his fellow servant begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.’ But he refused. Instead, he had him put in prison until he paid back the debt. Now when his fellow servants saw what had happened, they were deeply disturbed, and went to their master and reported the whole affair. His master summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you your entire debt because you begged me to. Should you not have had pity on your fellow servant, as I had pity on you?’ Then in anger his master handed him over to the torturers until he should pay back the whole debt. So will my heavenly Father do to you, unless each of you forgives your brother from your heart.”
In Volume Five, Jesus asks us to accept our suffering to save souls, and that includes forgiving and asking for forgiveness:
"My faithful ones have always suffered in the world, in some way or another. If you understand that this is a time of suffering and that your suffering is redemptive in nature, you will not anguish over the fact that you are suffering. Many of My little ones make their suffering far worse than it has to be by bemoaning that they are suffering at all. Do not say to yourself, “It is unfair and unjust that I suffer.” Say to yourself always, “I will give my suffering to Jesus for the sake of the work He must do to save others.” Say to yourself, “I am sinful in nature, despite my knowledge and belief in God, so any suffering I do is just, because I have sinned.” Now little ones, I have forgiven you everything many times over. Many of you have difficulty understanding the depth of My forgiving nature and you confess the same sin, sometimes several times. You are forgiven and I forget your sins, but I ask you to suffer, not because you are sinful creatures. I ask you to suffer because many of the souls you work and live with every day may choose to go to hell if I do not have this suffering with which to obtain the great torrent of grace necessary to convert them. There is little time. Even given the fact that earthly time and heavenly time differ, there is little time."
Lay apostles, don't waste any more time in anger or bitterness. As Jesus says above, time is running out. Make the change today. And as Peter learned in the Gospel above, forgive and forgive over and over. Forgiving doesn't mean staying in a dangerous situation. It means forgive the offender and move on the best you can. We are all flawed in some way. If we weren't, we wouldn't need God to save us. Reading the above quote from Volume Five, I know He is asking us to choose our path. I choose Him.
Thank you, Lord, for Volume Five. I am more focused. You make forgiving so easy when we focus on You.
God bless,
Bonnie
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