Wednesday, April 12, 2017

Wednesday of Holy Week - Ego

Letting go of unnecessary struggles is not easy. Dictionary.com defines the word struggle as "to be coping with inability to perform well or to win; contend with difficulty." Do we struggle out of fear? Fear we will lose; fear we will be shamed; fear of death; fear of (you insert the word)?  Decisions we make based on fear do not involve God, they usually involve ego. There is a great acronym for the word EGO: Edging God Out. So why do we let our egos get in the way? Because it's familiar. Because if we don't protect our fragile egos, who will? The answer to the question is easy . . . God. He is our Great Protector. I firmly believe, as a result of this mission, it doesn't matter what threats or conditions I endure. He is worth the fight. After all, He fought for us and died for our sins. It's the least we can do for Him.

In today's Gospel (Matthew 26:14-25), the betrayal continues:

One of the Twelve, who was called Judas Iscariot,  went to the chief priests and said, “What are you willing to give me if I hand him over to you?” They paid him thirty pieces of silver, and from that time on he looked for an opportunity to hand him over.

On the first day of the Feast of Unleavened Bread, the disciples approached Jesus and said,

“Where do you want us to prepare for you to eat the Passover?” He said, “Go into the city to a certain man and tell him, ‘The teacher says, My appointed time draws near;  in your house I shall celebrate the Passover with my disciples.”" The disciples then did as Jesus had ordered, and prepared the Passover.

When it was evening, he reclined at table with the Twelve. And while they were eating, he said,  “Amen, I say to you, one of you will betray me.” Deeply distressed at this, they began to say to him one after another, “Surely it is not I, Lord?” He said in reply, “He who has dipped his hand into the dish with me is the one who will betray me. The Son of Man indeed goes, as it is written of him, but woe to that man by whom the Son of Man is betrayed. It would be better for that man if he had never been born.” Then Judas, his betrayer, said in reply, “Surely it is not I, Rabbi?” He answered, “You have said so.”

In her book Staying in Place, Anne flawlessly explains the importance of keeping our ego in check:

"We must be vigilant stewards of our minds, not in a neurotic way, obviously, but in a loving way. If someone is speaking and we feel fear, we must be aware of that and then reset our minds to wonder, awe and joy. We must do it, because while others can point to it, only we have direct access to our minds with the ability to self-direct change. It must be that in the mind of God there is a plan for renewal which encompasses this training of our minds, thus protecting the Shepherd’s ability to have ongoing communication with His sheep. You cannot separate sheep, after all, if they are directly connected to the Shepherd. This will become more and more important in the future. But the future is always now so we must prepare without delay. 

Given our advances, it will come to be that people will confuse their mind with God’s. A greater awareness of what is being called consciousness will come. And while a few people on Earth fully embrace God’s mind, most do not. But if one allows pride to take root, one will be persuaded that he or she fully represents God. Why do Christians need to be aware of this? Because when it comes, people will attribute all manner of plans to God which will not actually be God’s plans. What will happen is really as old as the hills. People will be tricked into thinking they are God. That in their minds they have captured God or that they are in possession of God’s will and truth merely through an act of desire. This is heretical. We are not God. We have the capability and possibility of working with God, and for God as collaborators or co-creators. But that does not make us God. That makes us God’s children who seek to be good children. There is to come a grave problem in this regard and it will draw people from true relationship with the mind of God our Father. Be alert, apostles.

This is not to say one should be paranoid. One must not be a ‘pouncer,' who fears all other representations of relationship with God. God is Father to all humanity, after all. But neither can one integrate a way of thinking which builds itself on a primary flaw, that is, that we are acting as God through an act of the ego, that we can ego-will God or possess God, or that we have caged God in us, in a manner of speaking. This is like
saying, I AM. We should be saying, He IS. Trying to expose this, one feels apologetic at one’s inadequacy. However, let the reader look for arrogance, pride and a person pointing to himself or herself as the one bringing about anything that is good even as he or she purports to be humble. Oh the sickening sight of false humility. Better to be openly prideful than to pretend humility, which is like forcing everyone to watch a film instead of offering something real."

Lay apostles, what are you struggling with today? Think about it. Write it down if you have to. Then let it go. Let Jesus heal your woundedness. Aim to please Him, not your own ego. It's not easy, but every day that you let bits and pieces of your struggles go, the easier it is to handle bumps in the road that may arise in the future.

Thank you, Lord, for my life, my struggles, my fears. Continue to remind me to rely on You when fear begins to creep in. I honestly don't know how people do it without You!

God bless,

Bonnie



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