Gospel Words Today: Holding On

There are just some things hard to let go of at times . . . past hurts, ego, mistakes made, traumatic events. When I read the Gospel today, I started thinking about the depth of the wounds now healing in my heart. Instead of holding on to anger, pride or mistrust, through Christ, I can look past offenders to the fact I have been the offender periodically in my lifetime. I know I have never done anything mean intentionally (well, maybe when I was young and my little sister wouldn't give me my Barbie back!). But if I have hurt someone, especially someone I love, I want them to forgive me, not hold on to the hurt for years as we all have seen, heard of or experienced in families. Instead of holding on to the unpleasant memories, I try to view them as imperfect people making imperfect decisions . . . myself included. And that is my prayer when they think of me. Placing Christ in the forefront, I have better clarity gazing through His Eyes.

In today's Gospel (John 20:11-18), Jesus tells us to let go of earthly attachments:

Mary Magdalene stayed outside the tomb weeping. And as she wept, she bent over into the tomb and saw two angels in white sitting there, one at the head and one at the feet where the Body of Jesus had been. And they said to her, "Woman, why are you weeping?" She said to them, "They have taken my Lord, and I don't know where they laid him." When she had said this, she turned around and saw Jesus there, but did not know it was Jesus. Jesus said to her, "Woman, why are you weeping? Whom are you looking for?" She thought it was the gardener and said to him, "Sir, if you carried him away, tell me where you laid him, and I will take him." Jesus said to her, "Mary!" She turned and said to him in Hebrew, "Rabbouni,"  which means Teacher. Jesus said to her, "Stop holding on to me, for I have not yet ascended to the Father. But go to my brothers and tell them, 'I am going to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God.'" Mary went and announced to the disciples, "I have seen the Lord," and then reported what he had told her.

I love the following from Staying in Place . . . it's time to move onward and upward:

"The offenders abused the power that came with representing God. Note that we gave them the power, which speaks to our need for development, too.

There now. A deep breath must be taken by all and a new way found. We must seek a new way. What is the past is the past and those who cling to it soon wither because it no longer feeds. Those who preach it find few takers because it no longer inspires. The Gospel message is always fresh, as stated. We can all look back with today’s knowledge and perhaps find little spots where we, too, got it wrong, perhaps in actions which, while not elevating to the criminal level, lacked mercy and honest human expression and thus distorted God. We must all accept our collective need for development, along with our faith expression. What was enough in the past now must be updated because it is no longer enough to hold the love that is God. We have to ‘up our game’ and be more mindful of integrating our humanity with our Christianity. That means that ugly behavior is ugly behavior and we should call ourselves on it instead of spiritualizing it. Because we can all point to a person or a group of people and say, ‘If that is the Catholic Church, count me out.’ There is actually a case to be made that if a ship is sinking, you jump in a mechanism for survival that has been hard wired.

However, and this is a big however, all families are dysfunctional to some degree and our faith family has predictably proven itself no different. While some need to leave to heal, some need to stay to repair and recover the family, sweep up the glass, face the neighbors and yes, deal with any outstanding legal matters, may the Lord bless our bishops."

Lay apostles, what past sins or hurts or opinions are you holding on to? First, ask yourself WHY you are holding on to them. When you figure out the WHY, contemplate where Jesus fits into the equation. There is a wonderful little book called Thoughtful Men and Women of God: A Guide to Contemplative Prayer to assist you in the healing process. It is time well spent with Our Lord. Give it a try. It's time to stop holding on and begin living your life for Christ!

Thank you, Lord, for the ability to heal the wounds acquired over my lifetime.

God bless,

Bonnie

Gospel Thoughts Today: Who Do You Follow?

A few years ago Jay and I were watching the last installment of The Bible on the History Channel. From the moment the soldiers came to arrest Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane, I could barely contain myself (The Passion of the Christ invokes the same). Throughout His torture, I wondered about His disciples. Were they so fearful for their human lives they went into hiding, nowhere to be found at the cross?  Did they feel immense anger or frustration knowing they couldn't save Christ as it would spoil God's plan?  And when Peter denied Christ three times . . . well, I can imagine how disgusted Peter was with himself. Is covering up the truth for fear of an unknown outcome = not trusting Jesus? I think it does. He is the Truth, the Way and the Life.  We have the benefit of the Bible, the Volumes, and all God has provided over the last 2,000 + years. Stand up for Christ. Don't remain quiet when others deny Him. It's time to be bold, lay apostles. Admit you know theTruth!

Today's Gospel (Matthew 28:8-15) should prove lies will only lead you away from Christ:

Mary Magdalene and the other Mary went away quickly from the tomb, fearful yet overjoyed, and ran to announce the news to his disciples. And behold, Jesus met them on their way and greeted them. They approached, embraced his feet, and did him homage. Then Jesus said to them, “Do not be afraid. Go tell my brothers to go to Galilee, and there they will see me.”

While they were going, some of the guards went into the city and told the chief priests all that had happened. The chief priests assembled with the elders and took counsel; then they gave a large sum of money to the soldiers, telling them, “You are to say, ‘His disciples came by night and stole him while we were asleep.’ And if this gets to the ears of the governor, we will satisfy him and keep you out of trouble.” The soldiers took the money and did as they were instructed. And this story has circulated among the Jews to the present day.

In Volume Five, Jesus the Redeemer makes it plain and simple . . . choose Him or choose the enemy:

"I assure you that a human being does not have the right to choose against God. That is not one of the choices you have been allowed. So when a soul chooses against God, he chooses to follow the enemy. Again, this is simple. The father of lies draws souls but only those souls who say “yes” to the darkness. Choose Me, then follow Me. You would not choose Me and then follow a path that leads away from Me. Many are doing just that because they do not like the earthly sacrifices that come with following My course. Little ones, you will laugh at the nothings of this earth when you die in your body and are born into your eternity. If you have sacrificed your eternity or your crown in heaven for the nothings of this world, your regret and bitterness will be profound. This is not for you. You are for heaven so I want you to learn all about Me, your Redeemer, and God, My Father, and all of our saints and true servants. I want you to learn about My Church on earth. I want you to have the answers when someone asks you why you follow this carpenter’s Son."

Lay apostles, what has Lent and the joy of Easter done for your spiritual life this year? I feel clarity, calm and fearless. After reading Volume Five, I have never felt so focused.

Thank you, Lord, for all the protection You offer when I stand up for You. Please continue to open my eyes to Your Truth.

God bless,

Bonnie

Holy Gospel According to John

Gospel Today: John 18:1—19:42

Jesus went out with his disciples across the Kidron valley 

to where there was a garden, 

into which he and his disciples entered.

Judas his betrayer also knew the place, 

because Jesus had often met there with his disciples.

So Judas got a band of soldiers and guards 

from the chief priests and the Pharisees 

and went there with lanterns, torches, and weapons.

Jesus, knowing everything that was going to happen to him, 

went out and said to them, "Whom are you looking for?"

They answered him, "Jesus the Nazorean."

He said to them, "I AM."

Judas his betrayer was also with them.

When he said to them, "I AM, " 

they turned away and fell to the ground.

So he again asked them,

"Whom are you looking for?"

They said, "Jesus the Nazorean."

Jesus answered,

"I told you that I AM.

So if you are looking for me, let these men go."

This was to fulfill what he had said, 

"I have not lost any of those you gave me."

Then Simon Peter, who had a sword, drew it, 

struck the high priest's slave, and cut off his right ear.

The slave's name was Malchus.

Jesus said to Peter,

"Put your sword into its scabbard.

Shall I not drink the cup that the Father gave me?"

So the band of soldiers, the tribune, and the Jewish guards seized Jesus,

bound him, and brought him to Annas first.

He was the father-in-law of Caiaphas, 

who was high priest that year.

It was Caiaphas who had counseled the Jews 

that it was better that one man should die rather than the people.

Simon Peter and another disciple followed Jesus.

Now the other disciple was known to the high priest, 

and he entered the courtyard of the high priest with Jesus.

But Peter stood at the gate outside.

So the other disciple, the acquaintance of the high priest, 

went out and spoke to the gatekeeper and brought Peter in.

Then the maid who was the gatekeeper said to Peter, 

"You are not one of this man's disciples, are you?"

He said, "I am not."

Now the slaves and the guards were standing around a charcoal fire

that they had made, because it was cold,

and were warming themselves.

Peter was also standing there keeping warm.

The high priest questioned Jesus 

about his disciples and about his doctrine.

Jesus answered him,

"I have spoken publicly to the world.

I have always taught in a synagogue 

or in the temple area where all the Jews gather, 

and in secret I have said nothing. Why ask me?

Ask those who heard me what I said to them.

They know what I said."

When he had said this, 

one of the temple guards standing there struck Jesus and said, 

"Is this the way you answer the high priest?"

Jesus answered him,

"If I have spoken wrongly, testify to the wrong; 

but if I have spoken rightly, why do you strike me?"

Then Annas sent him bound to Caiaphas the high priest.

Now Simon Peter was standing there keeping warm.

And they said to him,

"You are not one of his disciples, are you?"

He denied it and said,

"I am not."

One of the slaves of the high priest, 

a relative of the one whose ear Peter had cut off, said, 

"Didn't I see you in the garden with him?"

Again Peter denied it.

And immediately the cock crowed.

Then they brought Jesus from Caiaphas to the praetorium.

It was morning.

And they themselves did not enter the praetorium, 

in order not to be defiled so that they could eat the Passover.

So Pilate came out to them and said, 

"What charge do you bring against this man?"

They answered and said to him,

"If he were not a criminal, 

we would not have handed him over to you."

At this, Pilate said to them, 

"Take him yourselves, and judge him according to your law."

The Jews answered him, 

"We do not have the right to execute anyone, " 

in order that the word of Jesus might be fulfilled

that he said indicating the kind of death he would die.

So Pilate went back into the praetorium 

and summoned Jesus and said to him, 

"Are you the King of the Jews?"

Jesus answered,

"Do you say this on your own 

or have others told you about me?"

Pilate answered,

"I am not a Jew, am I?

Your own nation and the chief priests handed you over to me.

What have you done?"

Jesus answered,

"My kingdom does not belong to this world.

If my kingdom did belong to this world, 

my attendants would be fighting 

to keep me from being handed over to the Jews.

But as it is, my kingdom is not here."

So Pilate said to him,

"Then you are a king?"

Jesus answered,

"You say I am a king.

For this I was born and for this I came into the world, 

to testify to the truth.

Everyone who belongs to the truth listens to my voice."

Pilate said to him, "What is truth?"

When he had said this,

he again went out to the Jews and said to them,

"I find no guilt in him.

But you have a custom that I release one prisoner to you at Passover.

Do you want me to release to you the King of the Jews?"

They cried out again,

"Not this one but Barabbas!"

Now Barabbas was a revolutionary.

Then Pilate took Jesus and had him scourged.

And the soldiers wove a crown out of thorns and placed it on his head, 

and clothed him in a purple cloak, 

and they came to him and said,

"Hail, King of the Jews!"

And they struck him repeatedly.

Once more Pilate went out and said to them, 

"Look, I am bringing him out to you, 

so that you may know that I find no guilt in him."

So Jesus came out, 

wearing the crown of thorns and the purple cloak.

And he said to them, "Behold, the man!"

When the chief priests and the guards saw him they cried out, 

"Crucify him, crucify him!"

Pilate said to them,

"Take him yourselves and crucify him.

I find no guilt in him."

The Jews answered, 

"We have a law, and according to that law he ought to die, 

because he made himself the Son of God."

Now when Pilate heard this statement,

he became even more afraid, 

and went back into the praetorium and said to Jesus, 

"Where are you from?"

Jesus did not answer him.

So Pilate said to him,

"Do you not speak to me?

Do you not know that I have power to release you 

and I have power to crucify you?"

Jesus answered him,

"You would have no power over me 

if it had not been given to you from above.

For this reason the one who handed me over to you

has the greater sin."

Consequently, Pilate tried to release him; but the Jews cried out, 

"If you release him, you are not a Friend of Caesar.

Everyone who makes himself a king opposes Caesar."

When Pilate heard these words he brought Jesus out 

and seated him on the judge's bench 

in the place called Stone Pavement, in Hebrew, Gabbatha.

It was preparation day for Passover, and it was about noon.

And he said to the Jews,

"Behold, your king!"

They cried out,

"Take him away, take him away! Crucify him!"

Pilate said to them,

"Shall I crucify your king?"

The chief priests answered,

"We have no king but Caesar."

Then he handed him over to them to be crucified.

So they took Jesus, and, carrying the cross himself, 

he went out to what is called the Place of the Skull, 

in Hebrew, Golgotha.

There they crucified him, and with him two others, 

one on either side, with Jesus in the middle.

Pilate also had an inscription written and put on the cross.

It read,

"Jesus the Nazorean, the King of the Jews."

Now many of the Jews read this inscription, 

because the place where Jesus was crucified was near the city; 

and it was written in Hebrew, Latin, and Greek.

So the chief priests of the Jews said to Pilate, 

"Do not write 'The King of the Jews,'

but that he said, 'I am the King of the Jews'."

Pilate answered,

"What I have written, I have written."

When the soldiers had crucified Jesus, 

they took his clothes and divided them into four shares, 

a share for each soldier.

They also took his tunic, but the tunic was seamless, 

woven in one piece from the top down.

So they said to one another, 

"Let's not tear it, but cast lots for it to see whose it will be, " 

in order that the passage of Scripture might be fulfilled that says:

They divided my garments among them,

and for my vesture they cast lots.

This is what the soldiers did.

Standing by the cross of Jesus were his mother

and his mother's sister, Mary the wife of Clopas,

and Mary of Magdala.

When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple there whom he loved

he said to his mother, "Woman, behold, your son."

Then he said to the disciple,

"Behold, your mother."

And from that hour the disciple took her into his home.

After this, aware that everything was now finished, 

in order that the Scripture might be fulfilled, 

Jesus said, "I thirst."

There was a vessel filled with common wine.

So they put a sponge soaked in wine on a sprig of hyssop 

and put it up to his mouth.

When Jesus had taken the wine, he said,

"It is finished."

And bowing his head, he handed over the spirit.

Here all kneel and pause for a short time.

Now since it was preparation day,

in order that the bodies might not remain on the cross on the sabbath,

for the sabbath day of that week was a solemn one, 

the Jews asked Pilate that their legs be broken 

and that they be taken down.

So the soldiers came and broke the legs of the first 

and then of the other one who was crucified with Jesus.

But when they came to Jesus and saw that he was already dead, 

they did not break his legs, 

but one soldier thrust his lance into his side, 

and immediately blood and water flowed out.

An eyewitness has testified, and his testimony is true; 

he knows that he is speaking the truth, 

so that you also may come to believe.

For this happened so that the Scripture passage might be fulfilled:

Not a bone of it will be broken.

And again another passage says:

They will look upon him whom they have pierced.

After this, Joseph of Arimathea, 

secretly a disciple of Jesus for fear of the Jews, 

asked Pilate if he could remove the body of Jesus.

And Pilate permitted it.

So he came and took his body.

Nicodemus, the one who had first come to him at night, 

also came bringing a mixture of myrrh and aloes 

weighing about one hundred pounds.

They took the body of Jesus 

and bound it with burial cloths along with the spices, 

according to the Jewish burial custom.

Now in the place where he had been crucified there was a garden, 

and in the garden a new tomb, in which no one had yet been buried.

So they laid Jesus there because of the Jewish preparation day; 

for the tomb was close by.

Holy Thursday - Serving Others with Humility

Waitressing has to be one of the most difficult jobs on this earth. It requires a ton of humility as some patrons command you cower to their needs. My short stint as a waitress at Denny's while in high school helped shape my awareness and thankfulness to those who serve on a daily basis. Quite the rebellious teen, I didn't handle rude people very well. But I never expressed my "pissed offness" to the customer's face. A very experienced waitress training me seriously expressed how to handle rude customers . . . behind the scenes. I know you know where this is going . . . not something I'm proud of, but man, sure felt good at the time. I won't go into detail, but watching a jerk drink the coffee I added an "extra something" to gave me such pleasure! Of course, shame on the waitress for teaching me at an early age about revenge.  So, what did I take away from this experience? I always try to be kind to those who serve me. And I try to serve others to the best of my ability. The next time you find yourself beginning to take your bad mood out on the hard working waitress (or waiter), remember my blog post today. And, for heaven's sake, be kind! We are all the same underneath, and have chosen paths that lead to where we are today. 

Today's Gospel (John 13:1-15) immediately makes me think of Pope Francis and his Christlike behavior . . . behavior every priest and lay person should emulate:

Before the feast of Passover, Jesus knew that his hour had come to pass from this world to the Father. He loved his own in the world and he loved them to the end. The devil had already induced Judas, son of Simon the Iscariot, to hand him over. So, during supper,  fully aware that the Father had put everything into his power and that he had come from God and was returning to God,  he rose from supper and took off his outer garments. He took a towel and tied it around his waist. Then he poured water into a basin  and began to wash the disciples’ feet  and dry them with the towel around his waist. He came to Simon Peter, who said to him,  “Master, are you going to wash my feet?” Jesus answered and said to him, “What I am doing, you do not understand now, but you will understand later.” Peter said to him, “You will never wash my feet.” Jesus answered him, “Unless I wash you, you will have no inheritance with me.” Simon Peter said to him,  “Master, then not only my feet, but my hands and head as well.” Jesus said to him,  “Whoever has bathed has no need except to have his feet washed, for he is clean all over;  so you are clean, but not all.” For he knew who would betray him; for this reason, he said, “Not all of you are clean.”

So when he had washed their feet  and put his garments back on and reclined at table again, he said to them, “Do you realize what I have done for you? You call me ‘teacher’ and ‘master,’ and rightly so, for indeed I am. If I, therefore, the master and teacher, have washed your feet,  you ought to wash one another’s feet. I have given you a model to follow,  so that as I have done for you, you should also do.”

In the Monthly Message of May 2006, Jesus asks us to commit to our "jobs" every day with kindness and humility:

"Do not think that your Jesus misunderstands the difficulty associated with suffering. Always consider the suffering I accepted in the world, on the cross in My final hours of course, but also throughout My life. I did not spend My time on earth in comfort and leisure. I worked hard each day and often did without things that souls today take for granted. Consider My life on earth in its entirety. Dearest apostle, My friend, I lived as quietly as possible. I prayed for you every day. I offered comfort and assistance to others in pain or in need. I committed Myself to My duty each day and never deviated from My responsibilities. I did this because I knew that you would benefit from a model to follow. You see, I spent each day on earth aware of your life. When I was tempted to become disheartened, I thought of you, struggling, and I disciplined Myself to be brave and hopeful. I offered My struggles to God the Father and asked that in return, He grant you graces of courage and hope. I did not waste any time on earth, My beloved."

Lay apostles, how do you treat those who serve you? Realize they go home to a family, a sick child, a lonely empty home, an abusive relationship. Most of us work very hard at our jobs, and don't need the added pressure of condemnation. So, give the hardworking waitress a little extra if she/he served you well. And remember, service to others is what Christ is all about.

God bless,
Bonnie

Wednesday of Holy Week: Judas Was Not the Nicest Apostle

Blog post today from my favorite young adult writer, Annie:

Let’s start with a quick poll: Hands up anybody who has never felt betrayed or let down before. Did you put your hand up? If so, Congratulations! You are probably the only person ever in the history of the world who doesn’t know what that feels like. Betrayal is possibly one of the hardest experiences that we can live through. If you’ve ever been disappointed by another in this way (and we’ve established that the odds aren’t good that you haven’t), you know what I’m talking about. The pain is much worse when the person who turned against you was someone you never would have expected to hurt you. To be scorned and disrespected by someone who was supposed to love you is one of the greatest shocks I think there is. 

In today’s Gospel (Matthew 26:14-25), we are shown that Jesus Himself was no stranger to the concept of disloyalty.

One of the Twelve, who was called Judas Iscariot, went to the chief priests and said, “What are you willing to give me if I hand him over to you?” They paid him thirty pieces of silver, and from that time on he looked for an opportunity to hand him over.

On the first day of the Feast of Unleavened Bread, the disciples approached Jesus and said, “Where do you want us to prepare for you to eat the Passover?” He said, “Go into the city to a certain man and tell him, ‘The teacher says, As My appointed time draws near;  in your house I shall celebrate the Passover with my disciples.”‘“The disciples then did as Jesus had ordered, and prepared the Passover.

When it was evening, he reclined at table with the Twelve. And while they were eating, he said,  “Amen, I say to you, one of you will betray me.” Deeply distressed at this, they began to say to him one after another, “Surely it is not I, Lord?” He said in reply, “He who has dipped his hand into the dish with me is the one who will betray me. The Son of Man indeed goes, as it is written of him, but woe to that man by whom the Son of Man is betrayed. It would be better for that man if he had never been born.” Then Judas, his betrayer, said in reply, “Surely it is not I, Rabbi?” He answered, “You have said so.”

Let this sink in for a moment. Jesus, the Son of God, the most awesome Person who ever walked the planet (except maybe for Wolverine? but I don’t know if I’m allowed to think that) was betrayed by one of His closest friends. Judas was one of His twelve apostles, one of the men He trusted most, one of the few people that He chose to be constantly by His side throughout His earthly ministry. How must he have felt when Judas turned against Him? When you think of your experience of betrayal, remember to connect those feelings to Christ’s, because he went through it too. Those of you who are tempted to blame yourselves or think that there is something wrong with you, that some inherent flaw in you must have caused this person to treat you this poorly, that you are not lovable; you’re not, and you’re wrong. It happened to Jesus, so it literally happens to the best of us. Do not feel ashamed by what happened to you. The wrong that others do to you is never a reflection of you, just another person’s mistake, for which they are probably suffering also.

Jesus encourages us in the booklet Heaven Speaks to Those Who Experience Tragedy to allow ourselves the healing process and to bring our sorrows to Him:

"My friend, there are events in every life that stand out as difficult and life-altering. This tragedy, this abrupt change of course, will stand out to you, I know. When you feel a sense of shock, a sense of stunning upset in your life, you must look for me. I am there. I do not remain with My children, day after day, and then abandon them when they most need my support. Your grief is understandable and I will support you in it. You will not always understand why I allowed a certain thing to happen. In your expected inability to understand, you will challenge me. You will say, “God, how could you have allowed this? God, where are You? God, why have You abandoned us?” My friends, bring those questions directly to me because I, Myself, am the most sympathetic listener when it comes to these heartfelt cries of anguish. You see, I cried these cries Myself. In my humanity, on the cross, I felt abandoned. In My humanity, on the cross, I questioned the value of God’s plan. From My viewpoint, nailed to a piece of wood and raised aloft as a subject of total rejection and derision, it appeared that I suffered more than anyone. It appeared that none could know the extent of My pain. My beloved child, I tell you this so that you will understand that I, your Savior, grasp the depth of your pain. I will walk you through each moment of anguish, surrounding you with heaven’s graces. No. You will not be left to walk alone through this tragedy."

When the people we love let us down, it throws everything we thought we knew into confusion. Maybe you’re like me, and it makes you want to burn down buildings or punch pillows in the throat (and by pillows I mean people, but that sounds more aggressive). Or maybe you’re also like me and you are tempted to shut yourself off to all people forever because clearly nobody in the WHOLE WORLD can be trusted EVER AGAIN. (Maybe you’re much less dramatic than me and you respond maturely and positively to distressing social circumstances, but I don’t really have anything new to tell you people, you probably have it figured out better than I do.) There are a couple of problems with these responses. One, there are legal problems with burning down buildings you don’t own, especially if they are someone’s house. Two, when we harden our hearts to people, we necessarily harden our hearts to God. Closing ourselves off to God is going to be a lot more harmful to us than whatever injury is inflicted upon us by others. So let’s open ourselves up to Him instead.

Also, when you’re ready to, pray for your Judas. You’ve gotta feel bad for someone who even Jesus said would be better off not born, so let’s limit the amount of Judas’ in the world with our forgiveness. I know it’s hard, but you never know what hell might have put them in the position to hurt you. We hurt Jesus all the time, each and every one of us, and He forgives us readily. We can learn so much from Him if we are willing to try.

Congratulations on surviving Lent guys! We’re almost there!

Annie

Gospel Thoughts Today: Betrayal

Betrayal . . . a word and action none of us want to experience, but cannot avoid. I immediately think of when my youngest daughter Taylor was 14 years old . . . she experienced the ultimate teenage betrayal. Her crush on the blond-haired, blue-eyed quarterback freshman year was every girl's dream guy.  The first week of school he saw her in between classes and asked if she needed help finding her class. Boom!  That's all it took to become her first high school crush. Excited about him approaching her, she rushed to tell her best friend of 5 years. She described him to a tee, every detail she could remember. A few weeks later, her best friend was dating him. Taylor was devastated (and my heart was broken for her). The fact that someone who knows us better than anyone else can so easily betray us in what seems like overnight is unfathomable . . . painful. If we struggle with it, imagine how our Savior must have felt.

In today's Gospel (John 13:21-33, 36-38), Jesus identifies his betrayer:

Reclining at table with his disciples, Jesus was deeply troubled and testified, “Amen, amen, I say to you, one of you will betray me.” The disciples looked at one another, at a loss as to whom he meant. One of his disciples, the one whom Jesus loved, was reclining at Jesus’ side. So Simon Peter nodded to him to find out whom he meant. He leaned back against Jesus’ chest and said to him, “Master, who is it?” Jesus answered, “It is the one to whom I hand the morsel after I have dipped it.” So he dipped the morsel and took it and handed it to Judas, son of Simon the Iscariot. After Judas took the morsel, Satan entered him. So Jesus said to him, “What you are going to do, do quickly.” Now none of those reclining at table realized why he said this to him. Some thought that since Judas kept the money bag, Jesus had told him, “Buy what we need for the feast,” or to give something to the poor. So Judas took the morsel and left at once. And it was night.

When he had left, Jesus said, “Now is the Son of Man glorified, and God is glorified in him. If God is glorified in him, God will also glorify him in himself, and he will glorify him at once. My children, I will be with you only a little while longer. You will look for me, and as I told the Jews, ‘Where I go you cannot come,’ so now I say it to you.”

Simon Peter said to him, “Master, where are you going?” Jesus answered him, “Where I am going, you cannot follow me now, though you will follow later.” Peter said to him, “Master, why can I not follow you now? I will lay down my life for you.” Jesus answered, “Will you lay down your life for me? Amen, amen, I say to you, the cock will not crow before you deny me three times.”

In Anne a lay apostle's book Staying in Place, she sees betrayal in a different light:

"Clearly, love is different from what people initially think when they hear the word. Love is vaster. Love demands a response and an honest acknowledgement of both frailty and vulnerability. We love with hearts that have been broken or with hearts that will be broken. Christ’s heart was broken at falseness, inconsistency and betrayal. We want to be as faithful as Christ was in our love for God in each other. But we must accept that we will fall short. If we have a full grasp of our teachings, we can negotiate our weaknesses, always striving for growth. But without each vocation integrating the teachings actively and ‘out loud’, so to speak, nobody really knows what this Christianity of ours is supposed to look like.

We desist from causing pain because Christ would desist from causing pain. We refrain from revenge because Christ refrained from revenge. We persist in our beliefs, at whatever cost, because Christ persisted in His beliefs, even to the highest possible cost. We are followers of the Great Love embodied in the Son. We do not claim goodness. Rather we use it to point most accurately at the One we follow. We are Christians through the greatest and most sublime act of the Creator, that of becoming one of us.

And so we take our turn in the perpetuation of Love, which, it must be said again, is very vast indeed."

Lay apostles, as you contemplate the last days of Jesus this week, think about how you have handled betrayals in the past. And after reading the quote from Anne's book, how will you face them in the future? See it for what it is . . . the enemy using whatever it takes to draw you off the path to heaven.

Thank you, Lord, for Your suffering in the last days of Your Life. Help us to remember the pain and betrayal You encountered from those who were the closest to Your Sacred Heart. And, forgive them as You did.

God bless,

Bonnie

Monday of Holy Week - What is Your Attitude Going to Be?

Writing this blog allows me to express how I am feeling. Others may not like what I have to say, but my thoughts are my thoughts. I am nothing special. But I am a lay apostle trying to do everything the Lord asks of me with love and kindness for this mission. I keep myself in check with those I love and trust, making sure I interpret meaning and intent in what I read and hear. It's very sad when others take their misery out on me.  Sometimes the truth hurts. I know it hurts because there have been many truths about myself I've had to look at over the last 12 years since becoming a lay apostle. So, when you read something on my blog that offends you, think about why it offends. Is there some truth to it? Is it something you don't want to admit about yourself because if you did it would mean you are flawed just like me? 

In today's Gospel (John 12:1-11), see how others assume the worst with a selfish attitude when what was being done was for the Lord:

Six days before Passover Jesus came to Bethany, where Lazarus was, whom Jesus had raised from the dead. They gave a dinner for him there, and Martha served, while Lazarus was one of those reclining at table with him.  Mary took a liter of costly perfumed oil made from genuine aromatic nard and anointed the feet of Jesus and dried them with her hair; the house was filled with the fragrance of the oil.  Then Judas the Iscariot, one of his disciples, and the one who would betray him, said, “Why was this oil not sold for three hundred days’ wages and given to the poor?” He said this not because he cared about the poor but because he was a thief and held the money bag and used to steal the contributions. So Jesus said, “Leave her alone. Let her keep this for the day of my burial. You always have the poor with you, but you do not always have me.”

The large crowd of the Jews found out that he was there and came, not only because of him, but also to see Lazarus, whom he had raised from the dead. And the chief priests plotted to kill Lazarus too, because many of the Jews were turning away and believing in Jesus because of him.

In Anne a lay apostle's book The Mist of Mercy, she beautifully describes the traps of evil:

"As lay apostles, we must look into each relationship in our lives and be certain that we follow Godly principles. We must seek to be genuinely giving, with an awareness that we should strive to set an example of Christlike behavior to each other. The devil does not want this, of course. The devil wants to use us to exploit those around us. People cooperate by using others, perhaps for sex, for money, for power, or ego. We must be scrupulous not to fall into these traps. There is no benefit to reading, or indeed writing a work such as this if we use it only to identify the flaws of others. We must search tirelessly for our own flaws, using the example set by Jesus Christ as our behavioral goal."

Lay apostles, think before you speak . . . read before you send. Don't let the traps of piety, power or ego get in the way of Christlike behavior. We are all servants of heaven. Serve the best you can. It's all any of us can do.

Thank you, Lord, for allowing the true joy and happiness being a lay apostle brings. You have strengthened me with Your Words and those surrounding me.

God bless,

Bonnie

Gospel Thoughts Today: Understanding

Understanding circumstances in which decisions are made can be perplexing . . . but there is always more to the story. Unless we are the ones conducting the action, how can we judge? It's hard at times to trust Someone knows what's better for me than me myself! The older I get the more I am able to give up control and allow Him to lead the way. I understand He intimately knows the bigger picture of my life. The lesson? Trust that the One with more background information knows what He is doing and is in charge!

In today's Gospel (John 10:31-42), Jesus attempts to "educate" again:

The Jews picked up rocks to stone Jesus. Jesus answered them, "I have shown you many good works from my Father. For which of these are you trying to stone me?" The Jews answered him, "We are not stoning you for a good work but for blasphemy. You, a man, are making yourself God."

Jesus answered them, "Is it not written in your law, 'I said, 'You are gods"'?  If it calls them gods to whom the word of God came, and Scripture cannot be set aside, can you say that the one whom the Father has consecrated and sent into the world blasphemes because I said, 'I am the Son of God'?  If I do not perform my Father's works, do not believe me; but if I perform them, even if you do not believe me, believe the works, so that you may realize and understand that the Father is in me and I am in the Father." Then they tried again to arrest him; but he escaped from their power.

He went back across the Jordan to the place where John first baptized, and there he remained.  Many came to him and said, "John performed no sign, but everything John said about this man was true." And many there began to believe in him.

In Anne's book Staying in Place, she makes a great point . . . anything can change in an instant: 

"We can all remember a day which began like any other and ended in extraordinarily altered circumstances. Sometimes we say, “I wish it were yesterday and this thing had not happened.” And sometimes we say, “Thank God it is not yesterday before this wonderful thing happened.”

Expectations. Be careful about them, dear friends. We must understand whether or not our expectations are reasonable to our circumstances, and then begin the process of freeing ourselves from them because there are no guarantees. Life is changeable. Anyone who has dealt with an abrupt natural disaster or the death of a loved one can vouch for the need of freedom from expectations. Most of us will say that in some instance in life, what we expected to happen did not happen and, while devastated at the time, we now thank God for the altered course as we see the wonderful impact on our development and circumstances.

If we allow them, our crosses truly become our joys."

Lay apostles, let's all appreciate what we have and experience today, understanding life is a roller coaster. If today turns out to be less than stellar, there is always one Person waiting to console . . . Christ is ready and waiting!

Thank you, Lord, for understanding me better than I can possibly understand myself!

God bless,
Bonnie

Gospel Thoughts Today: Justifications

Justifications. We human beings are so good at justifying our misbehavior . . . our sin. We choose to live in the darkness because living in the Light means believing and obeying God and His Word in Scripture. It means, if you are a lay apostle of this mission, BELIEVING and ACTING ON the messages from Jesus and all of heaven. God doesn't expect us to be perfect. But He does expect us to love as He loves; forgive as He forgives; and most importantly, NEVER deny Him or His Son. I recently heard the words "I put it out to the universe" come from a young Christian's mouth. Probably the look of horror on my face made them quickly say, "umm, God." Since when do we refer to Our Lord as the "universe?" Some may think I am overreacting. But to me, this is denying Our Creator. The "universe" is some unknown entity floating around in the darkness. I know "universe" is very New Age thinking and focuses around 'you' the individual instead of service to God and His Children. Maybe this term is an excuse to live in the darkness and not in reality, allowing for justification of sins. Maybe it's easier if the "universe" denies you and not God. I don't know the answer as this is so far from my thought process. If you are a Christian, think next time you "put it out to the universe." God is the Creator of all, so please use His Sacred Name and give credit where credit is due. He is the One we will all see upon our death . . . do you really want to deny Him now?

Todays Gospel (John 8:51-59) makes me realize how PATIENT our Dear Jesus was with those denying Him:

Jesus said to the Jews: “Amen, amen, I say to you, whoever keeps my word will never see death.”  So the Jews said to him, “Now we are sure that you are possessed. Abraham died, as did the prophets, yet you say, ‘Whoever keeps my word will never taste death.’ Are you greater than our father Abraham, who died?  Or the prophets, who died? Who do you make yourself out to be?”  Jesus answered, “If I glorify myself, my glory is worth nothing; but it is my Father who glorifies me, of whom you say, ‘He is our God.’ You do not know him, but I know him. And if I should say that I do not know him, I would be like you a liar. But I do know him and I keep his word.  Abraham your father rejoiced to see my day; he saw it and was glad.”  So the Jews said to him, “You are not yet fifty years old and you have seen Abraham?” Jesus said to them, “Amen, amen, I say to you, before Abraham came to be, I AM.” So they picked up stones to throw at him; but Jesus hid and went out of the temple area.

In Volume One, Jesus calls us to be His Light on earth:

"People today, remarkably, blame God for all manner of hardship and badness. They use the fruits of sin to justify their failure to follow Me. Children, it is not I who have brought this darkness over the world. It is you, by your sin and failure to serve. There is enough food in the world. There should not be hunger. Medical care, also, can be spread around in a more effective manner. Humanitarian assistance to your poor and less advanced societies is an act of mercy and those who practice it are following My will, whether they know it or not. Truly, I want these acts of mercy from you. And I want you to stop blaming your God for your failures. Do not let others get away with this. Defend Me. And defend My priests and nuns. Vocations are down in your more advanced societies. I am sending you holy souls but you are not nurturing them. They receive no formation or direction and their gifts are not developed. Children, dear children, I need leaders now. I need every single one of you to turn your faces to heaven and agree to serve Me with your whole lives. The plan I have for you will amaze you. Be docile and let Jesus direct. Through this will come happiness and relief to so many. This will happen, My children. The darkness has lost its time now and I will have the world My way. You must see that this happens in your corner. Are you ready to walk with Me? I call you, My child. Waste no more time. Respond to Me now."

Lay apostles, do you stand up for Jesus? When you hear someone denying Him in one way or another, do you speak up in His defense? Or do you let it go because of potential backlash? Personally, I feel we all should be offended for Him and defend our Beautiful Savior who died for US!! If we don't, who will? He is calling us to action . . . now.

Thank you, Lord, for reminding me in the Gospel today the importance of gently reminding those who deny You of Who they will meet when it's time to go home.

God bless,
Bonnie

Gospel Thoughts Today: Indifference to Sin

Distractions exist in abundance, don't they?  As a writer, alone in my environment, I constantly battle a wandering mind.  The simplest things can draw me away from the task at hand. When I'm at a loss for words, I check my email. Distraction. The buzzer goes off on my dryer signaling clothes needing to be folded. Distraction. Huge stacks of paperwork in need of filing. Big distraction!  And, boy, being in our commercial real estate office during the day . . . well, distractions abound! My conscience warns me to stay on track.  But old habits die hard. Excuses are made. Over time, my conscience may begin to accept the excuses as fact. I become lax in full focus and eventually become frustrated things aren't moving faster. Sounds a lot like our faith journey, right?  If we let the world dictate how we act and feel, how can we act and feel as God desires?  If we deviate from what is good and just, how can we ever escape our sins? We can't do it alone. That is a fact! Relying on Christ through prayer and with focus, His Abundant Graces will never disappoint.

In today’s Gospel (John 8:21-30), Jesus shows us the way to our salvation is through the Father:

Jesus said to the Pharisees: "I am going away and you will look for me, but you will die in your sin. Where I am going you cannot come." So the Jews said, "He is not going to kill himself, is he, because he said, 'Where I am going you cannot come'?" He said to them, "You belong to what is below, I belong to what is above. You belong to this world, but I do not belong to this world. That is why I told you that you will die in your sins. For if you do not believe that I AM, you will die in your sins." So they said to him, "Who are you?" Jesus said to them, "What I told you from the beginning. I have much to say about you in condemnation. But the one who sent me is true, and what I heard from him I tell the world." They did not realize that he was speaking to them of the Father. So Jesus said to them, "When you lift up the Son of Man, then you will realize that I AM, and that I do nothing on my own, but I say only what the Father taught me. The one who sent me is with me. He has not left me alone, because I always do what is pleasing to him." Because he spoke this way, many came to believe in him.

I couldn't agree more with Anne in the following quote from her book Staying in Place:

"Truly, we must exist bearing the tension of what is our fallen nature and what is God. This existence creates tension because one cannot advance alone. God is needed for transformation."

Lay apostles of all ages, what path are you following in your life?  The rocky yet heavenly path to Jesus or the easy sinful path while on this earth?  I am far from perfect.  But I am moving in the right direction despite a few steps backward once in a while! The key is, I flounder when I try to do it alone.

Thank you, Lord, for allowing me to stumble alone once in a while, always bringing me back to You and Your Love so mercifully!

God bless,
Bonnie

Gospel Word Today: Afraid

Today the word "afraid" called my name in the Gospel, as it perfectly relates to a conversation I recall from last year. Out to lunch with two women I am close to, the topic of martyrs came up. I recalled a dream I had while writing Heavenly Healing. I was in our local church, praying in front of the Blessed Sacrament. There were about 5 other Adorers scattered throughout the pews, when I heard scuffling in the back of the church. I turned around and saw a few masked men coming toward me. One of them came right up to me, pointed a gun at my forehead and asked, "Would you die for Him?" I didn't hesitate. I said, "Yes." He pulled the trigger and the impact of the bullet woke me as if actually shot. I was a bit disoriented as I jumped out of bed . . . the dream felt so real. That dream was a key moment in my life. Just years earlier, I would have been too afraid to say yes, and probably would have lied to stay alive.

As I was telling the two women this experience, one of them said, "But you wouldn't actually say 'yes' if it really happened, would you?" With no hesitation, I said "Of course I would say yes and die for Him!" She was shocked, going on further, "So if a demented person walked in this door right now, and you knew he was mentally ill and pointing a gun, you wouldn't say something to save your life?" I then told her I would never deny Him, ever. The look on her face made me realize how important it is to spread the Gospel messages and words from all of Heaven in the Volumes.

We are all heading to the same place, and I know He controls the day I am called home. Whether I am shot, drown, or die peacefully in my sleep, I am ready. Not that I am asking Him to take me now! But, if we fear death, are we really trusting God? It has taken this apostolate to form me, to learn to trust in Christ, no matter what is happening in my environment. It's not always easy and I can't say human fear wouldn't take over if confronted with the scenario from my dream. But my answer will always be "yes." Be not afraid!

In today's Gospel (Matthew 1:16, 18-21, 24A), Joseph had to overcome his human concerns about Mary, and follow the Lord's plan:

Jacob was the father of Joseph, the husband of Mary. Of her was born Jesus who is called the Christ.

Now this is how the birth of Jesus Christ came about. When his mother Mary was betrothed to Joseph, but before they lived together, she was found with child through the Holy Spirit. Joseph her husband, since he was a righteous man, yet unwilling to expose her to shame, decided to divorce her quietly. Such was his intention when, behold, the angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, "Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary your wife into your home. For it is through the Holy Spirit that this child has been conceived in her. She will bear a son and you are to name him Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins." When Joseph awoke, he did as the angel of the Lord had commanded him and took his wife into his home.

In Anne a lay apostle's book Staying in Place, she illuminates how important it is to stand firm in our love of God and commitment to Him:

"Many people remain in place, offering God’s love to others long after they have ‘felt’ an experience of love. Those children of the Father understand, in simplicity, that the best response they can make to God’s love is to bring it to others. Those who accept God’s love simply, need the least amount of persuasion and maintenance. God, in a real sense, gives them everything. They have been given the whole inheritance. They do not feel this, yet they serve on because they know this to be true intellectually. Really, whatever it takes to keep us serving is available to us in the moments we need help. On one day, one thing will provide what we need. On another day, it will be something else. This is important because if something consoles us one day and we lose it another day, we must not be afraid that we can no longer persevere. Instead, we should rest in the certainty that we no longer need that type of glue, and the newest type will be offered to us so that we can stick out our commitments to the spread of the Father’s love."

Lay apostles, do you let fear control your life? Not just the fear of death, but fear of what others will think of you? If your answer is yes, dig into the Bible. Read about the lives of Saints. Read the Volumes. I promise the more you understand Our Lord, the easier it is to let go of fear.

Thank you, Lord, for teaching me love and commitment to You trumps everything!

God bless,
Bonnie

Gospel Thoughts Today: Man Wanted to Kill Him

Very special guest blogger: my wonderful husband Jay!

Saint Pope John Paul II was a great man, a great pope and a rare individual! He was rare for many reasons. Mostly rare because he lived and was canonized both within our lifetime.

He was so joyful. He was humble. He was so much a people's Pope. The accolades go on but nothing stands out in my mind more than seeing pictures of the Pope face to face . . . with his assassin. 

The man who tried to take his life was sitting right in front of him and the Pope was patiently listening to the man, offering forgiveness. Yes . . . offering to forgive the man for the pain and suffering the Pope had endured.

Yes, Jesus would have done the same . . . but wasn't He God? Didn't He have it a little easier some how? The answer is no. He endured verbal humiliation, violent torture, and an excruciating death. And no, He did not experience it any less than you or I would. He experienced this world fully human. He suffered and He forgave.

Yes, we are called to do the same . . . and the leader of the Catholic Church worldwide did just that. In St. Pope John Paul II's words, he said, "Forgiveness is above all a personal choice, a decision of the heart to go against the natural instinct to pay back evil with evil."

Todays Gospel (John 7:1-2, 10, 25-30) shows many full of judgement:

Jesus moved about within Galilee; he did not wish to travel in Judea, because the Jews were trying to kill him. But the Jewish feast of Tabernacles was near.

But when his brothers had gone up to the feast, he himself also went up, not openly but as it were in secret. Some of the inhabitants of Jerusalem said, “Is he not the one they are trying to kill? And look, he is speaking openly and they say nothing to him. Could the authorities have realized that he is the Christ? But we know where he is from. When the Christ comes, no one will know where he is from.” So Jesus cried out in the temple area as he was teaching and said, “You know me and also know where I am from. Yet I did not come on my own, but the one who sent me, whom you do not know, is true. I know him, because I am from him, and he sent me.” So they tried to arrest him, but no one laid a hand upon him, because his hour had not yet come.

In the Monthly Message from September 2010, Jesus warns us not to judge:

“Allow Me to see to justice because only I am equipped to pass judgement. You must see to loving, despite any wounds you have suffered. I am the greatest victim of injustice so I am the best consoler. Bring your suffering to Me and I will send you away with love, which you will then continue to distribute on My behalf. Be serious about My work, dear apostles. It is important.” 

Lay apostles, we are being asked to be quick with mercy and slow to judge. Think about the times in your life where someone was extremely compassionate vs. other times someone judged you harshly. Know that God is a God of compassion and He calls us to be compassionate people. 

Thank you, Lord, for being compassionate with me, especially during times where I have judged others harshly.

In humility and gratitude,

Jay