Good Friday of the Lord's Passion

Gospel John 18:1—19:42

Jesus went out with his disciples across the Kidron valley 

to where there was a garden, 

into which he and his disciples entered.

Judas his betrayer also knew the place, 

because Jesus had often met there with his disciples.

So Judas got a band of soldiers and guards 

from the chief priests and the Pharisees 

and went there with lanterns, torches, and weapons.

Jesus, knowing everything that was going to happen to him, 

went out and said to them, "Whom are you looking for?"

They answered him, "Jesus the Nazorean."

He said to them, "I AM."

Judas his betrayer was also with them.

When he said to them, "I AM, " 

they turned away and fell to the ground.

So he again asked them,

"Whom are you looking for?"

They said, "Jesus the Nazorean."

Jesus answered,

"I told you that I AM.

So if you are looking for me, let these men go."

This was to fulfill what he had said, 

"I have not lost any of those you gave me."

Then Simon Peter, who had a sword, drew it, 

struck the high priest's slave, and cut off his right ear.

The slave's name was Malchus.

Jesus said to Peter,

"Put your sword into its scabbard.

Shall I not drink the cup that the Father gave me?"

So the band of soldiers, the tribune, and the Jewish guards seized Jesus,

bound him, and brought him to Annas first.

He was the father-in-law of Caiaphas, 

who was high priest that year.

It was Caiaphas who had counseled the Jews 

that it was better that one man should die rather than the people.

Simon Peter and another disciple followed Jesus.

Now the other disciple was known to the high priest, 

and he entered the courtyard of the high priest with Jesus.

But Peter stood at the gate outside.

So the other disciple, the acquaintance of the high priest, 

went out and spoke to the gatekeeper and brought Peter in.

Then the maid who was the gatekeeper said to Peter, 

"You are not one of this man's disciples, are you?"

He said, "I am not."

Now the slaves and the guards were standing around a charcoal fire

that they had made, because it was cold,

and were warming themselves.

Peter was also standing there keeping warm.

The high priest questioned Jesus 

about his disciples and about his doctrine.

Jesus answered him,

"I have spoken publicly to the world.

I have always taught in a synagogue 

or in the temple area where all the Jews gather, 

and in secret I have said nothing. Why ask me?

Ask those who heard me what I said to them.

They know what I said."

When he had said this, 

one of the temple guards standing there struck Jesus and said, 

"Is this the way you answer the high priest?"

Jesus answered him,

"If I have spoken wrongly, testify to the wrong; 

but if I have spoken rightly, why do you strike me?"

Then Annas sent him bound to Caiaphas the high priest.

Now Simon Peter was standing there keeping warm.

And they said to him,

"You are not one of his disciples, are you?"

He denied it and said,

"I am not."

One of the slaves of the high priest, 

a relative of the one whose ear Peter had cut off, said, 

"Didn't I see you in the garden with him?"

Again Peter denied it.

And immediately the cock crowed.

Then they brought Jesus from Caiaphas to the praetorium.

It was morning.

And they themselves did not enter the praetorium, 

in order not to be defiled so that they could eat the Passover.

So Pilate came out to them and said, 

"What charge do you bring against this man?"

They answered and said to him,

"If he were not a criminal, 

we would not have handed him over to you."

At this, Pilate said to them, 

"Take him yourselves, and judge him according to your law."

The Jews answered him, 

"We do not have the right to execute anyone, " 

in order that the word of Jesus might be fulfilled

that he said indicating the kind of death he would die.

So Pilate went back into the praetorium 

and summoned Jesus and said to him, 

"Are you the King of the Jews?"

Jesus answered,

"Do you say this on your own 

or have others told you about me?"

Pilate answered,

"I am not a Jew, am I?

Your own nation and the chief priests handed you over to me.

What have you done?"

Jesus answered,

"My kingdom does not belong to this world.

If my kingdom did belong to this world, 

my attendants would be fighting 

to keep me from being handed over to the Jews.

But as it is, my kingdom is not here."

So Pilate said to him,

"Then you are a king?"

Jesus answered,

"You say I am a king.

For this I was born and for this I came into the world, 

to testify to the truth.

Everyone who belongs to the truth listens to my voice."

Pilate said to him, "What is truth?"

When he had said this,

he again went out to the Jews and said to them,

"I find no guilt in him.

But you have a custom that I release one prisoner to you at Passover.

Do you want me to release to you the King of the Jews?"

They cried out again,

"Not this one but Barabbas!"

Now Barabbas was a revolutionary.

Then Pilate took Jesus and had him scourged.

And the soldiers wove a crown out of thorns and placed it on his head, 

and clothed him in a purple cloak, 

and they came to him and said,

"Hail, King of the Jews!"

And they struck him repeatedly.

Once more Pilate went out and said to them, 

"Look, I am bringing him out to you, 

so that you may know that I find no guilt in him."

So Jesus came out, 

wearing the crown of thorns and the purple cloak.

And he said to them, "Behold, the man!"

When the chief priests and the guards saw him they cried out, 

"Crucify him, crucify him!"

Pilate said to them,

"Take him yourselves and crucify him.

I find no guilt in him."

The Jews answered, 

"We have a law, and according to that law he ought to die, 

because he made himself the Son of God."

Now when Pilate heard this statement,

he became even more afraid, 

and went back into the praetorium and said to Jesus, 

"Where are you from?"

Jesus did not answer him.

So Pilate said to him,

"Do you not speak to me?

Do you not know that I have power to release you 

and I have power to crucify you?"

Jesus answered him,

"You would have no power over me 

if it had not been given to you from above.

For this reason the one who handed me over to you

has the greater sin."

Consequently, Pilate tried to release him; but the Jews cried out, 

"If you release him, you are not a Friend of Caesar.

Everyone who makes himself a king opposes Caesar."

When Pilate heard these words he brought Jesus out 

and seated him on the judge's bench 

in the place called Stone Pavement, in Hebrew, Gabbatha.

It was preparation day for Passover, and it was about noon.

And he said to the Jews,

"Behold, your king!"

They cried out,

"Take him away, take him away! Crucify him!"

Pilate said to them,

"Shall I crucify your king?"

The chief priests answered,

"We have no king but Caesar."

Then he handed him over to them to be crucified.

So they took Jesus, and, carrying the cross himself, 

he went out to what is called the Place of the Skull, 

in Hebrew, Golgotha.

There they crucified him, and with him two others, 

one on either side, with Jesus in the middle.

Pilate also had an inscription written and put on the cross.

It read,

"Jesus the Nazorean, the King of the Jews."

Now many of the Jews read this inscription, 

because the place where Jesus was crucified was near the city; 

and it was written in Hebrew, Latin, and Greek.

So the chief priests of the Jews said to Pilate, 

"Do not write 'The King of the Jews,'

but that he said, 'I am the King of the Jews'."

Pilate answered,

"What I have written, I have written."

When the soldiers had crucified Jesus, 

they took his clothes and divided them into four shares, 

a share for each soldier.

They also took his tunic, but the tunic was seamless, 

woven in one piece from the top down.

So they said to one another, 

"Let's not tear it, but cast lots for it to see whose it will be, " 

in order that the passage of Scripture might be fulfilled that says:

They divided my garments among them,

and for my vesture they cast lots.

This is what the soldiers did.

Standing by the cross of Jesus were his mother

and his mother's sister, Mary the wife of Clopas,

and Mary of Magdala.

When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple there whom he loved

he said to his mother, "Woman, behold, your son."

Then he said to the disciple,

"Behold, your mother."

And from that hour the disciple took her into his home.

After this, aware that everything was now finished, 

in order that the Scripture might be fulfilled, 

Jesus said, "I thirst."

There was a vessel filled with common wine.

So they put a sponge soaked in wine on a sprig of hyssop 

and put it up to his mouth.

When Jesus had taken the wine, he said,

"It is finished."

And bowing his head, he handed over the spirit.

Here all kneel and pause for a short time.

Now since it was preparation day,

in order that the bodies might not remain on the cross on the sabbath,

for the sabbath day of that week was a solemn one, 

the Jews asked Pilate that their legs be broken 

and that they be taken down.

So the soldiers came and broke the legs of the first 

and then of the other one who was crucified with Jesus.

But when they came to Jesus and saw that he was already dead, 

they did not break his legs, 

but one soldier thrust his lance into his side, 

and immediately blood and water flowed out.

An eyewitness has testified, and his testimony is true; 

he knows that he is speaking the truth, 

so that you also may come to believe.

For this happened so that the Scripture passage might be fulfilled:

Not a bone of it will be broken.

And again another passage says:

They will look upon him whom they have pierced.

After this, Joseph of Arimathea, 

secretly a disciple of Jesus for fear of the Jews, 

asked Pilate if he could remove the body of Jesus.

And Pilate permitted it.

So he came and took his body.

Nicodemus, the one who had first come to him at night, 

also came bringing a mixture of myrrh and aloes 

weighing about one hundred pounds.

They took the body of Jesus 

and bound it with burial cloths along with the spices, 

according to the Jewish burial custom.

Now in the place where he had been crucified there was a garden, 

and in the garden a new tomb, in which no one had yet been buried.

So they laid Jesus there because of the Jewish preparation day; 

for the tomb was close by.

Holy Thursday - Love

Holy Thursday invokes visions of Jesus calmly washing the feet of His disciples, knowing His hour had come and the inhumane torture He was about to endure. I try to imagine what He must have been feeling . . . thinking. Sad because those He loved would betray Him? Frustrated He would be put to death like a criminal? Anxious about the pain of the first whip to strike His Body?  Probably. He was human. But He is also looking at the big picture, thinking about us and God's Will for Him. He knows His death leads to our salvation. This contemplation leads me to think about Jay and our girls, sons-in-law, and grandchildren. I would do anything for them. I would die for them. If I knew my death would save them, I would do it in a heartbeat. I can see myself, for their sake, being calm and loving the night before; trying to assure them of the destination I had been working toward before I died. Trying to help them live a better life by walking closely with Christ in humility. Jesus loved His disciples as deeply as we love our spouses, children and grandchildren. We must all remember on this Maundy Thursday how the Son of God humbly washed the feet of those He loved . . . including the man who would betray Him. It's all about love, isn't it? Loving others despite their intentions. Forgive them, Lord, for they know not what they do.

In the Gospel today (John 13:1-15), Jesus doesn't skip a beat in teaching His disciples the meaning of service to others:

Before the feast of Passover, Jesus knew that his hour had come to pass from this world to the Father. He loved his own in the world and he loved them to the end. The devil had already induced Judas, son of Simon the Iscariot, to hand him over. So, during supper,  fully aware that the Father had put everything into his power and that he had come from God and was returning to God, he rose from supper and took off his outer garments. He took a towel and tied it around his waist. Then he poured water into a basin and began to wash the disciples’ feet and dry them with the towel around his waist. He came to Simon Peter, who said to him,  “Master, are you going to wash my feet?” Jesus answered and said to him, “What I am doing, you do not understand now, but you will understand later.” Peter said to him, “You will never wash my feet.” Jesus answered him,  “Unless I wash you, you will have no inheritance with me.” Simon Peter said to him,  “Master, then not only my feet, but my hands and head as well.” Jesus said to him,  “Whoever has bathed has no need except to have his feet washed, for he is clean all over;  so you are clean, but not all.” For he knew who would betray him; for this reason, he said, “Not all of you are clean.”

So when he had washed their feet and put his garments back on and reclined at table again,  he said to them, “Do you realize what I have done for you? You call me ‘teacher’ and ‘master,’ and rightly so, for indeed I am. If I, therefore, the master and teacher, have washed your feet,  you ought to wash one another’s feet. I have given you a model to follow,  so that as I have done for you, you should also do.”

Anne's book Staying in Place provides such clarity and food for thought:

"The Father, in His heart, suffered with Christ in the Passion. Yes, in the way Jesus knew that God would never abandon Him and that He was loved by His Father, so we, too, know these things, even when our temptations reach despair. Total despair, or true despair, is actually rejection of God. Because grace is always present. And grace was there for Jesus. What was Jesus in His beautiful humanity but a collection of cells which vibrated together as matter? How can we believe that God is not with us when without His ongoing decision and action, our being would cease to vibrate and fall to the ground in death, stillness, engaged in the opposite of the process which occurs in the womb? At death the body then cooperates with natural law and decomposes, the opposite of the rapid and extraordinary process that occurs between conception and birth.

Jesus, did not make His way into time through ordinary circumstances. Rather, it was an action of the Trinity which resulted in this body taking form. Therefore, we have a different circumstance. Jesus chose to take human form and Jesus chose to depart from His life for the time between His death and Resurrection. Therein we note the difference. He picked up His life at conception. He showed us how to express holy human essence during His life. He laid down His life for us according to the plan of the Father. Then, in answer to all hope, He picked it up again at the Resurrection. He was choosing and acting all the time. While He did not choose the manner of His torture, which is important, He chose to submit to it."

Lay apostles, imagine this is your last day on this earth. How would you spend it? Organize your day with this in mind. Call a loved one; attend daily Mass; babysit for a young mother; talk to your children about Jesus and humility (even if your children are 50!). Live this day, then the next day, and the next as if your last. I couldn't imagine any better preparation to meet our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ!

Thank you, Lord, for Your humble service and love the night before Your death. I promise to do my best to live each day as my last.

God bless,

Bonnie  

Wednesday of Holy Week - Ego

Letting go of unnecessary struggles is not easy. Dictionary.com defines the word struggle as "to be coping with inability to perform well or to win; contend with difficulty." Do we struggle out of fear? Fear we will lose; fear we will be shamed; fear of death; fear of (you insert the word)?  Decisions we make based on fear do not involve God, they usually involve ego. There is a great acronym for the word EGO: Edging God Out. So why do we let our egos get in the way? Because it's familiar. Because if we don't protect our fragile egos, who will? The answer to the question is easy . . . God. He is our Great Protector. I firmly believe, as a result of this mission, it doesn't matter what threats or conditions I endure. He is worth the fight. After all, He fought for us and died for our sins. It's the least we can do for Him.

In today's Gospel (Matthew 26:14-25), the betrayal continues:

One of the Twelve, who was called Judas Iscariot,  went to the chief priests and said, “What are you willing to give me if I hand him over to you?” They paid him thirty pieces of silver, and from that time on he looked for an opportunity to hand him over.

On the first day of the Feast of Unleavened Bread, the disciples approached Jesus and said,

“Where do you want us to prepare for you to eat the Passover?” He said, “Go into the city to a certain man and tell him, ‘The teacher says, My appointed time draws near;  in your house I shall celebrate the Passover with my disciples.”" The disciples then did as Jesus had ordered, and prepared the Passover.

When it was evening, he reclined at table with the Twelve. And while they were eating, he said,  “Amen, I say to you, one of you will betray me.” Deeply distressed at this, they began to say to him one after another, “Surely it is not I, Lord?” He said in reply, “He who has dipped his hand into the dish with me is the one who will betray me. The Son of Man indeed goes, as it is written of him, but woe to that man by whom the Son of Man is betrayed. It would be better for that man if he had never been born.” Then Judas, his betrayer, said in reply, “Surely it is not I, Rabbi?” He answered, “You have said so.”

In her book Staying in Place, Anne flawlessly explains the importance of keeping our ego in check:

"We must be vigilant stewards of our minds, not in a neurotic way, obviously, but in a loving way. If someone is speaking and we feel fear, we must be aware of that and then reset our minds to wonder, awe and joy. We must do it, because while others can point to it, only we have direct access to our minds with the ability to self-direct change. It must be that in the mind of God there is a plan for renewal which encompasses this training of our minds, thus protecting the Shepherd’s ability to have ongoing communication with His sheep. You cannot separate sheep, after all, if they are directly connected to the Shepherd. This will become more and more important in the future. But the future is always now so we must prepare without delay. 

Given our advances, it will come to be that people will confuse their mind with God’s. A greater awareness of what is being called consciousness will come. And while a few people on Earth fully embrace God’s mind, most do not. But if one allows pride to take root, one will be persuaded that he or she fully represents God. Why do Christians need to be aware of this? Because when it comes, people will attribute all manner of plans to God which will not actually be God’s plans. What will happen is really as old as the hills. People will be tricked into thinking they are God. That in their minds they have captured God or that they are in possession of God’s will and truth merely through an act of desire. This is heretical. We are not God. We have the capability and possibility of working with God, and for God as collaborators or co-creators. But that does not make us God. That makes us God’s children who seek to be good children. There is to come a grave problem in this regard and it will draw people from true relationship with the mind of God our Father. Be alert, apostles.

This is not to say one should be paranoid. One must not be a ‘pouncer,' who fears all other representations of relationship with God. God is Father to all humanity, after all. But neither can one integrate a way of thinking which builds itself on a primary flaw, that is, that we are acting as God through an act of the ego, that we can ego-will God or possess God, or that we have caged God in us, in a manner of speaking. This is like
saying, I AM. We should be saying, He IS. Trying to expose this, one feels apologetic at one’s inadequacy. However, let the reader look for arrogance, pride and a person pointing to himself or herself as the one bringing about anything that is good even as he or she purports to be humble. Oh the sickening sight of false humility. Better to be openly prideful than to pretend humility, which is like forcing everyone to watch a film instead of offering something real."

Lay apostles, what are you struggling with today? Think about it. Write it down if you have to. Then let it go. Let Jesus heal your woundedness. Aim to please Him, not your own ego. It's not easy, but every day that you let bits and pieces of your struggles go, the easier it is to handle bumps in the road that may arise in the future.

Thank you, Lord, for my life, my struggles, my fears. Continue to remind me to rely on You when fear begins to creep in. I honestly don't know how people do it without You!

God bless,

Bonnie

The Lay Apostle Way

by Anne, a lay apostle

The apostolate, through the spiritual writings, offers a way in which contemporary Catholics can understand their relationship to Jesus, yes, but also to the Church and to the secular world and its activities, too.
The apostolate, through the formation programs, offers a path for growth in self-awareness, which will always contribute to greater holiness, greater wellness and greater and greater compassion for self, others and even for the broken and damaging systems which man seems only ever able to create and then recreate.

What will happen when enough people accept a fuller formation? What will happen is that the Church, through a person here and another there, will begin to look less like a broken and damaging secular system and more like a heavenly creation which remains on earth but which points most consistently to the next life.

We, lay apostles, advance into the being and action of the Church through our commitment to the Sacramental life. When we reference Sacramental life in this context, we reference our determination to allow the Sacramental life to transform us. We will engage in a radical acceptance of our own shadow, which we acknowledge, even as we push off from it into greater and greater acquisition of the virtues.

Our presentation of our faith will be virtue based, rather than sin based. We will submit to learning about the goodness and love of Christ in Scripture and seek to recognise that same goodness in ourselves and others and strive to make that goodness grow, expand and develop out into the family, parish and diocese.

Our commitment to the family, parish and diocese will become part of our conversation so that we can build identity as Catholics, part of something greater than ourselves. In those three arenas we will build the international Church into a powerful force for Jesus Christ to become, not just present in the Eucharist, priesthood and in each of us but in our work, our systems of government and the very breath of the earth.

We acknowledge our Father as creator of our home, the earth, and we take responsibility for our impact on the earth, which is for all of God’s children. We, as a Catholic movement, will seek to impact and support efforts which protect water, soil and air, the support for God’s people and creatures. We will not knowingly destroy what God has created and we will begin to examine our relationship with the resources without which man’s life will not be sustainable in certain areas of this planet. God, Himself, will insure that man can flourish in some areas of the earth. We seek to make those areas as many as possible and as large as possible.

We will strive for balance in our own lives, recognising it as a human and spiritual need. This means we will seek to maintain a proper relationship with work and play and also with learning, which we accept must be ongoing through our lives in recognition of the limitless mystery of that which is invisible to us in our current state of being.

Our learning will be curious and happy, with an open attitude toward health and the sciences. We will strive to be respectful toward different belief systems, expecting that people will look differently and wish to concentrate on different matters, even concerning spirituality. One person will be attracted to one expression of the Church and another person will be attracted to another expression of the Church. We will celebrate this diversity and encourage it, knowing that the Body needs all parts.

While we accept that perfect unity can only occur in Heaven, we will aim for unity as a goal in our faith communities, large and small. When disunity threatens, we will ask ourselves where we must move to meet another in a unified place. This type of self-examination will be a part of our way, an ongoing methodology with which to remain open in love toward all of God’s children. We will ‘trial identify’ with others, putting ourselves in their place as a contemplative exercise of understanding another’s life experience, view and position. Even when unity becomes seemingly impossible, this practice will assist us in maintaining our peace. We hope always for union and reunion in Heaven.

Our recognition that we are one ‘stream’ in the Church helps us to respect and hold hope for other legitimate movements which hydrate the Church on earth. Our commitment to the diocesan structure, however, steers us toward that which will assist the whole Church and which is relevant to the whole Church congregation. In that way, we retain our fluidity and the flexibility to serve the local bishop in the needs which he identifies and in the manner which he expresses for our particular diocese. That stated, our methodology will always include the three pronged strategy, combining human, spiritual and catechetical programs which develop people most fully and completely.
Formation of the young will be understood as deeply important to Our Lady, Queen of the Church and also her son, the Returning King. As such we will make it our priority, too, whenever possible, as appropriate, by which we mean that other urgent needs do not take precedence. This balanced methodology will insure that any young people receiving formation from us will be receiving that which is age appropriate, kind and includes elements from all three parts of our methodology.

Ongoing formation for adults, by which we mean increasing the development of personal holiness, will be viewed as the primary preparation for equipping people to work with youth. Unless an adult can identify specific areas where he or she needs to develop greater holiness, that person will be considered in need of greater preparation.

Finally, our efforts internationally will always strive to be harnessed to the needs of the families from which we come, the parishes in which we take part and the dioceses in which we live. This will protect us from any notion that our duty can be abandoned. If one is not obliged locally, one is then free to serve in other arenas. The goal is not to limit or restrict but to preserve and protect the need for contribution and focus on family, parish and local diocese as a means for renewing the Church.

'Behold, I make all things new' (Rev. 21:5). 

Tuesday of Holy Week - Betrayal

Betrayal . . . a word and action none of us want to experience, but cannot avoid. I immediately think of when my youngest daughter Taylor was 14 years old . . . she experienced the ultimate teenage betrayal. Her crush on the blond-haired, blue-eyed quarterback freshman year was every girl's dream guy.  The first week of school he saw her in between classes and asked if she needed help finding her class. Boom!  That's all it took to become her first high school crush. Excited about him approaching her, she rushed to tell her best friend of 5 years. She described him to a tee, every detail she could remember. A few weeks later, her best friend was dating him. Taylor was devastated (and my heart was broken for her). The fact that someone who knows us better than anyone else can so easily betray us in what seems like overnight is unfathomable . . . painful. If we struggle with it, imagine how our Savior must have felt.

In todays Gospel (John 13:21-33, 36-38), Jesus identifies his betrayer:

Reclining at table with his disciples, Jesus was deeply troubled and testified, “Amen, amen, I say to you, one of you will betray me.” The disciples looked at one another, at a loss as to whom he meant. One of his disciples, the one whom Jesus loved, was reclining at Jesus’ side. So Simon Peter nodded to him to find out whom he meant. He leaned back against Jesus’ chest and said to him, “Master, who is it?” Jesus answered, “It is the one to whom I hand the morsel after I have dipped it.” So he dipped the morsel and took it and handed it to Judas, son of Simon the Iscariot. After Judas took the morsel, Satan entered him. So Jesus said to him, “What you are going to do, do quickly.” Now none of those reclining at table realized why he said this to him. Some thought that since Judas kept the money bag, Jesus had told him, “Buy what we need for the feast,” or to give something to the poor. So Judas took the morsel and left at once. And it was night.

When he had left, Jesus said, “Now is the Son of Man glorified, and God is glorified in him. If God is glorified in him, God will also glorify him in himself, and he will glorify him at once. My children, I will be with you only a little while longer. You will look for me, and as I told the Jews, ‘Where I go you cannot come,’ so now I say it to you.”

Simon Peter said to him, “Master, where are you going?” Jesus answered him, “Where I am going, you cannot follow me now, though you will follow later.” Peter said to him, “Master, why can I not follow you now? I will lay down my life for you.” Jesus answered, “Will you lay down your life for me? Amen, amen, I say to you, the cock will not crow before you deny me three times.”

In Anne a lay apostle's book Staying in Place, she sees betrayal in a different light:

"Clearly, love is different from what people initially think when they hear the word. Love is vaster. Love demands a response and an honest acknowledgement of both frailty and vulnerability. We love with hearts that have been broken or with hearts that will be broken. Christ’s heart was broken at falseness, inconsistency and betrayal. We want to be as faithful as Christ was in our love for God in each other. But we must accept that we will fall short. If we have a full grasp of our teachings, we can negotiate our weaknesses, always striving for growth. But without each vocation integrating the teachings actively and ‘out loud’, so to speak, nobody really knows what this Christianity of ours is supposed to look like.

We desist from causing pain because Christ would desist from causing pain. We refrain from revenge because Christ refrained from revenge. We persist in our beliefs, at whatever cost, because Christ persisted in His beliefs, even to the highest possible cost. We are followers of the Great Love embodied in the Son. We do not claim goodness. Rather we use it to point most accurately at the One we follow. We are Christians through the greatest and most sublime act of the Creator, that of becoming one of us.

And so we take our turn in the perpetuation of Love, which, it must be said again, is very vast indeed."

Lay apostles, as you contemplate the last days of Jesus this week, think about how you have handled betrayals in the past. And after reading the quote from Anne's book, how will you face them in the future? See it for what it is . . . the enemy using whatever it takes to draw you off the path to heaven.

Thank you, Lord, for Your suffering in the last days of Your Life. Help us to remember the pain and betrayal You encountered from those who were the closest to Your Sacred Heart. And, forgive them as You did.

God bless,

Bonnie

Friday of the Fifth Week of Lent - Understand

Understanding circumstances in which decisions are made can be perplexing . . . but there is always more to the story. Unless we are the ones conducting the action, how can we judge? It's hard at times to trust Someone knows what's better for me than me myself! The older I get the more I am able to give up control and allow Him to lead the way. I understand He intimately knows the bigger picture of my life. The lesson? Trust that the One with more background information knows what He is doing and is in charge!

In today's Gospel (John 10:31-42), Jesus attempts to "educate" again:

The Jews picked up rocks to stone Jesus. Jesus answered them, "I have shown you many good works from my Father. For which of these are you trying to stone me?" The Jews answered him, "We are not stoning you for a good work but for blasphemy. You, a man, are making yourself God."
Jesus answered them, "Is it not written in your law, 'I said, 'You are gods"'?  If it calls them gods to whom the word of God came, and Scripture cannot be set aside, can you say that the one whom the Father has consecrated and sent into the world blasphemes because I said, 'I am the Son of God'?  If I do not perform my Father's works, do not believe me; but if I perform them, even if you do not believe me, believe the works, so that you may realize and understand that the Father is in me and I am in the Father." Then they tried again to arrest him; but he escaped from their power.

He went back across the Jordan to the place where John first baptized, and there he remained.  Many came to him and said, "John performed no sign, but everything John said about this man was true." And many there began to believe in him.

In Anne's book Staying in Place, she makes a great point . . . anything can change in an instant: 

"We can all remember a day which began like any other and ended in extraordinarily altered circumstances. Sometimes we say, “I wish it were yesterday and this thing had not happened.” And sometimes we say, “Thank God it is not yesterday before this wonderful thing happened.”

Expectations. Be careful about them, dear friends. We must understand whether or not our expectations are reasonable to our circumstances, and then begin the process of freeing ourselves from them because there are no guarantees. Life is changeable. Anyone who has dealt with an abrupt natural disaster or the death of a loved one can vouch for the need of freedom from expectations. Most of us will say that in some instance in life, what we expected to happen did not happen and, while devastated at the time, we now thank God for the altered course as we see the wonderful impact on our development and circumstances.

If we allow them, our crosses truly become our joys."

Lay apostles, let's all appreciate what we have and experience today, understanding life is a roller coaster. If today turns out to be less than stellar, there is always one Person waiting to console . . . Christ is ready and waiting!

Thank you, Lord, for understanding me better than I can possibly understand myself!

God bless,
Bonnie

Lent Day 38 - Deny

Justifications. We human beings are so good at justifying our misbehavior . . . our sin. We choose to live in the darkness because living in the Light means believing and obeying God and His Word in Scripture. It means, if you are a lay apostle of this mission, BELIEVING and ACTING ON the messages from Jesus and all of heaven. God doesn't expect us to be perfect. But He does expect us to love as He loves; forgive as He forgives; and most importantly, NEVER deny Him or His Son. I recently heard the words "I put it out to the universe" come from a young Christian's mouth (Jay knows this is a pet peeve of mine!). Probably the look of horror on my face made them quickly say, "umm, God." Since when do we refer to Our Lord as the "universe?" Some may think I am overreacting. But to me, this is denying Our Creator. The "universe" is some unknown entity floating around in the darkness. I know "universe" is very New Age thinking and focuses on 'you' the individual instead of service to God and His Children. Maybe this term is an excuse to live in the darkness and not in reality, allowing for justification of sins? Maybe it's easier if the "universe" denies you and not God? I don't know the answer as this is so far from my thought process. If you are a Christian, think next time you "put it out to the universe." God is the Creator of all. Use His Sacred Name always and give credit where credit is due.

Today's Gospel (John 8:51-59) makes me realize how PATIENT our Dear Jesus was with those denying Him:

Jesus said to the Jews: “Amen, amen, I say to you, whoever keeps my word will never see death.”  So the Jews said to him, “Now we are sure that you are possessed. Abraham died, as did the prophets, yet you say, ‘Whoever keeps my word will never taste death.’ Are you greater than our father Abraham, who died?  Or the prophets, who died? Who do you make yourself out to be?”  Jesus answered, “If I glorify myself, my glory is worth nothing; but it is my Father who glorifies me, of whom you say, ‘He is our God.’ You do not know him, but I know him. And if I should say that I do not know him, I would be like you a liar. But I do know him and I keep his word.  Abraham your father rejoiced to see my day; he saw it and was glad.”  So the Jews said to him, “You are not yet fifty years old and you have seen Abraham?” Jesus said to them, “Amen, amen, I say to you, before Abraham came to be, I AM.” So they picked up stones to throw at him; but Jesus hid and went out of the temple area.

Anne gives us a great reminder in her book Staying in Place:

"Does God experience human feelings? The better question would be, do we experience divine feelings? Only in the idea that God is far, far away, with no real connection to His children can we deny that God has feelings. And as Scripture tells us that the Lord takes delight in his children (Psalm 149:4), we must accept and take responsibility for the truth that the Lord also feels rejected by his children at times, and not just other children, but us, too."

Lay apostles, do you stand up for Jesus? When you hear someone denying Him in one way or another, do you speak up in His defense? Or do you let it go because of potential backlash? Personally, I feel offended for Him and I try to defend our Beautiful Savior who died for me to the best of my ability. If I don't, who will? He is calling us to action . . . now.

Thank you, Lord, for reminding me in the Gospel today the importance of gently reminding those who deny You of Who they will meet when it's time to go home.

God bless,
Bonnie

Lent Day 37 - Free

The word "free" grabbed me today in the Gospel. As I contemplate its meaning in my life, the first thing that comes to mind is the freedom to worship my Catholic faith in the United States. I am free to discuss Christ with anyone who will listen. I am free to acknowledge my President ends every talk with "God bless you and God bless America!" And, I'm free to choose how to live my life by the choices I make every day. By freely giving up my will for His (albeit a struggle at times), I am able to recognize the agony and the beauty of the Lenten journey to the Resurrection of Our Lord on Easter Sunday. The connection between suffering and joy surfaces and begins to make more and more sense with every Gospel I read. As Jesus says today, "the truth will set you free."

John 8:31-42:

Jesus said to those Jews who believed in him, "If you remain in my word, you will truly be my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." They answered him, "We are descendants of Abraham and have never been enslaved to anyone. How can you say, 'You will become free'?" Jesus answered them, "Amen, amen, I say to you, everyone who commits sin is a slave of sin. A slave does not remain in a household forever, but a son always remains. So if the Son frees you, then you will truly be free. I know that you are descendants of Abraham. But you are trying to kill me, because my word has no room among you. I tell you what I have seen in the Father's presence; then do what you have heard from the Father." They answered and said to him, "Our father is Abraham." Jesus said to them, "If you were Abraham's children, you would be doing the works of Abraham. But now you are trying to kill me, a man who has told you the truth that I heard from God; Abraham did not do this. You are doing the works of your father!" So they said to him, "We were not born of fornication. We have one Father, God." Jesus said to them, "If God were your Father, you would love me, for I came from God and am here; I did not come on my own, but he sent me."

The following quote from Anne a lay apostle's book Staying in Place describes the importance of the gift Jesus gave us:

"It is important to distinguish between sacrificial actions that Jesus took, prompted by the Spirit and the manner of His tortures, prompted by the sin of his tormentors. Any teaching which insinuates that Jesus masochistically chose the manner of His torture is in error. We should watch for this in the future.

The Father, who moves through all matter, accompanied Christ the whole way. The Father, who moves through all matter, accompanies us the whole way. We are one with Christ in our suffering because we are also sons and daughters of God, albeit adopted. God decided He would come into being and absorb all rejection for all time to free us from this burden. In a sense, it is God at His best and highest expression of Father, relieving unmanageable burdens of guilt for His children. Who would reject this Savior who absorbs our guilt into His own body? There is sweetness in this that we might miss. This was kindness itself. This was truly God stooping low on our behalf. This is benevolence. He gave all in His little human essence. Why do I say ‘little human essence’? Because when looking at it from the eyes of the Father, Jesus Christ on Earth was as little and as vulnerable in His humanity as we are in our humanity. He was equally adorable and cherished. He was delightful. I think that God would want to direct our focus to the fact that Jesus shared our human state, viewing all of humanity as equal in dignity. He came to lift the whole thing up, to direct us toward the sanctity of all human life. He came to absorb our guilt, yes, and to give us hope, yes, and also to ask that we view this same Christ in every human person. Jesus possessed God and lived in union with God, and so can we. We must choose God and then live our choice, as Jesus did."

Lay apostles, are you fighting letting go of your past? Making decisions based on what others will think of you or your actions? We have been given the tools we need in the Gospels and in the Volumes to change our lives, freely choosing God's Will over our own. How will you let go just a little bit today? 

Thank you, Lord, for the gift of free will. Sorry it has taken me so long to see the beauty of giving it back to You. 

God bless,

Bonnie

Lent Day 36 - Alone

Distractions exist in abundance, don't they?  As a writer, alone in my environment, I constantly battle a wandering mind.  The simplest things can draw me away from the task at hand. When I'm at a loss for words, I check my email. Distraction. The buzzer goes off on my dryer signaling clothes needing to be folded. Distraction. Huge stacks of paperwork in need of filing. Big distraction!  And, boy, being in our commercial real estate office during the day . . . well, distractions abound! My conscience warns me to stay on track.  But old habits die hard. Excuses are made. Over time, my conscience may begin to accept the excuses as fact. I become lax in full focus and eventually become frustrated things aren't moving faster. Sounds a lot like our faith journey, right?  If we let the world dictate how we act and feel, how can we act and feel as God desires?  If we deviate from what is good and just, how can we ever escape our sins? We can't do it alone. That is a fact! Relying on Christ through prayer and with focus, His Abundant Graces will never disappoint.

In today’s Gospel (John 8:21-30), Jesus shows us the way to our salvation is through the Father:

Jesus said to the Pharisees: "I am going away and you will look for me,
but you will die in your sin. Where I am going you cannot come." So the Jews said, "He is not going to kill himself, is he, because he said, 'Where I am going you cannot come'?" He said to them, "You belong to what is below, I belong to what is above. You belong to this world, but I do not belong to this world. That is why I told you that you will die in your sins. For if you do not believe that I AM, you will die in your sins." So they said to him, "Who are you?" Jesus said to them, "What I told you from the beginning. I have much to say about you in condemnation. But the one who sent me is true, and what I heard from him I tell the world." They did not realize that he was speaking to them of the Father. So Jesus said to them, "When you lift up the Son of Man, then you will realize that I AM, and that I do nothing on my own, but I say only what the Father taught me. The one who sent me is with me. He has not left me alone, because I always do what is pleasing to him." Because he spoke this way, many came to believe in him.

I couldn't agree more with Anne in the following quote from Staying in Place:

"Truly, we must exist bearing the tension of what is our fallen nature and what is God. This existence creates tension because one cannot advance alone. God is needed for transformation."

Lay apostles of all ages, what path are you following in your life?  The rocky yet heavenly path to Jesus or the easy sinful path while on this earth?  I am far from perfect.  But I am moving in the right direction despite a few steps backward once in a while! The key is, I flounder when I try to do it alone.

Thank you, Lord, for allowing me to stumble alone once in a while, always bringing me back to You and Your Love so mercifully!

God bless,
Bonnie

Lent Day 35 - Stone

Of The Stoners and The Stoned - by guest blogger Annie Clarke

Lent is a time of self-reflection and change. It’s a time for looking a little deeper into yourself, and weeding out what doesn’t need to be there. We all accumulate a lot of mistakes and wounds throughout each year, and there’s no better time than Lent to get rid of whatever is holding us back from holiness. It gives us the opportunity to spring clean our souls, the same way we air out our houses after a long winter.

Todays Gospel (John 8:1-11) reminded me of the importance of self-examination, and of how equally we need not concern ourselves with the spring-cleaning of another person’s soul:

But Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him.

But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground. At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” “No one, sir,” she said. “Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”

This parable is a great example of God’s mercy and forgiveness. But the human element of the story does not end where the Scripture passage does. For the woman in question, it would not have been as simple as skipping out the door cheerfully whistling a got-out-of-jail-free tune. I wonder how the woman felt when all the haters slunk out the back. She would have had to forgive them, and all those who shamed and humiliated her. But in the face of God’s total lack of condemnation, she might also have had to forgive herself for her past mistakes, as well as (potentially) struggle to live in a different way. Forgiveness can be such a painful process, yet the act of not forgiving usually brings a lot more suffering than it’s alternative. Fortunately, God forgives a lot quicker than we do. 

In the Heaven Speaks To Those Who Struggle To Forgive booklet, Jesus says:

“How blessed I am that you take a moment to read these words. I am God. I am complete, and yet your simple act of reading My words gives Me glory. You are important to Me and you are important to My family, which includes all men of good will. Because I love you and because I need your help, I wish to give you the opportunity to find greater peace in your heart. It is clear to Me that many suffer from hidden wounds. The only way for these wounds to heal is for the carrier of the wound to forgive the one who inflicted the injury. My dear child, this can be difficult. When a wound finds a home in the heart, it becomes comfortable there. It must be loosened and shifted. Both a willingness to forgive and a spirit of forgiveness are necessary because it is these things that make the wound uncomfortable. The wound then begins to dislodge. This reawakens the pain but only temporarily until the wound is removed altogether. I want to begin this process in you. If you proceed in the process of forgiveness with Me, you will find that forgiveness floods your heart. Your wounds will be gone. I have the power to heal every one of your wounds. When you try to do this alone, you do not experience success and you find that bitterness persists. Bitterness characterizes My enemy. Forgiveness characterizes Me. You, a beloved little child of God, seek to find peace in your heart. You will only find peace if you step into the stream of goodness. This stream is like a river of grace with which I desire to bathe you, removing all pain and injury. What will remain in your soul is joy. This joy, this heavenly peace, will be obtained by accepting your flaws and accepting the flaws of others. You see, My friend, if you accept the flaws and sins of others, you will soften in attitude toward yourself. I love you. I accept you. I need you to accept yourself so that you will be at peace in My Kingdom and it is through forgiving others that you will find acceptance of your own humanity.”

In order to grow closer to God, we need to remove any obstacles that keep us from Him, starting within our own selves. Bitterness and resentment don’t benefit anyone. A friend once remarked to me that holding on to bitterness and anger is like swallowing poison and expecting your enemy to die. So ask yourself, who are you angry with? Who do you need to forgive? What unspeakable hurt can you allow God to eradicate from your soul in order to find peace and progress this Lenten season? In the parable of the Stoning of the Woman, who would you be – and how will you carry it on?

God bless,

Annie

Monthly Message for April

We continue our cycle of monthly messages for 2017 with the message from April 1, 2009 for our prayer groups and personal reflection.

April 1, 2009

Jesus

My beloved apostles, please know that you obtain a constant stream of grace for the world. You do this by serving so generously. Your generosity obtains for others sublime graces of calm and peace, sublime graces of charity and truth and sublime graces of conversion and perseverance. When you see how heaven has used your service, you will rejoice that you gave so willingly and consistently. My friends, you should not be distracted by your feelings. Your feelings are like the smallest stems of grass blowing in the wind, so quickly do they pass. Do not be tormented. Simply allow feelings of temptation to move along and concentrate on the truth which is that you have remained in My holy company. If you do this, you will be less distracted. You will be able to say, “Today I am sad, tomorrow I may be happy, the next day I may feel fear and afterwards rejoicing. What difference does it make as long as I am united to My Jesus and serving His kingdom?” Yes, many in this time find that they are so distracted by their feelings that they question their decision to serve at all. This is the ultimate degree of temptation. If I did not wish you to serve, I would not have called you into service. I need My chosen ones to remain closely tied to their decision to bring My light to others. Only in this way will the renewal push further into the world. Submit your feelings to me. When your feelings make you doubtful, sit with Me and together we will examine them, one by one. If examined in My company, you will see that your feelings in no way change My truth, which is that you have been formed to serve Me. Truly, I need your service. Please be loyal to your decision for heavenly service as you live your time on earth. If you remain faithful, I can do many things. I am with you. I am directing all that occurs in your life. We walk together and together we will triumph over all temptations. 

 

 

Lent Day 31 - Secret

I haven't let the thoughts of others get to me for a while. A few years ago a situation arose unexpectedly, throwing me for a loop. I had been put in a leadership role, inviting others to help successfully execute the task. At first, everyone was on board and wanted to help. Soon it became apparent one person realized she wasn't in control of the event. And so it began. Negativity came first. Then subtle threats of disruption and secretly making comments behind my back to the other players in the group (who happened to be my good friends). Quite frankly, I wasn't surprised. My gut when first inviting this person to join the team was outright hesitancy. But, she knew the ropes in this area and I thought I could make it would work. The moment I realized her cooperation going south, I took myself out of the communication role with her as I continued to lead the team. I can't say I wasn't angry or disappointed. But Jay quickly reminded me (after I warned him I was going to react as a human first, then calmer to react as a lay apostle!) exactly Who was in control of this project. We so quickly forget Christ is ever present with us and responsible for outcomes we may not have anticipated. The project ended up being canceled, which was a blessing in disguise. His timing, not mine.

The Gospel today (John 7:1-2, 10, 25-30) shows us the faith Jesus had in God, not fearing the thoughts of others:

Jesus moved about within Galilee; he did not wish to travel in Judea,
because the Jews were trying to kill him. But the Jewish feast of Tabernacles was near.

But when his brothers had gone up to the feast, he himself also went up, not openly but as it were in secret.

Some of the inhabitants of Jerusalem said, "Is he not the one they are trying to kill? And look, he is speaking openly and they say nothing to him. Could the authorities have realized that he is the Christ? But we know where he is from. When the Christ comes, no one will know where he is from." So Jesus cried out in the temple area as he was teaching and said, "You know me and also know where I am from. Yet I did not come on my own, but the one who sent me, whom you do not know, is true. I know him, because I am from him, and he sent me." So they tried to arrest him, but no one laid a hand upon him, because his hour had not yet come.

The beauty of the quote below from Anne in her book Staying in Place is . . . there is no secret we can keep from God, and our motives must be fixed on Him:

"Jesus also showed me Himself as He travelled to the place of His death. I saw the condemnation, the irrational and seemingly unlimited hatred. (Hatred is always limited in power because it can only end in destruction and death. Whereas love is unlimited in power because it sparks continual life, growth and transformation.) Jesus showed me this in order to help me navigate something in my own life but I saw that He had the power, through the Father, to stop the whole thing. He could have easily showed all of His tormentors the truth about themselves. With words full of power and truth, He could have shown He was God by revealing to them each one secret truth that only God could know. There were ways He could have avoided the Crucifixion. But He overcame that part of His nature. He quashed it. He remained fixed in His humanity, driven by a Spirit which colluded only with the Father. The Trinity had been given complete dominion in the Lord’s humanity so He was like a person with blinders on. In a sense He allowed the hatred, abuse and viciousness to drive Him further and further into love and the Father’s will. He KNEW the Father’s love and there was no choice for Him to make of desisting from the path. Therefore, He cast Himself into the role of the Crucified One with no out. He allowed Himself no opting out of the experience. The fullness of the suffering was taken with exactitude. Had he lived through it in His humanity, would He later have asked Himself, “Why did I allow them to do this to Me?”

No. He did it for love of His Father and His Father’s children, all of whom He considers His brothers and sisters and all of whom He considers as indispensable to the loving creation of the Father that is humanity."

Lay apostles, there are going to be times we are tempted toward anger . . . when things don't work out the way we want them to. Instead of looking at a situation with a worldly view, look with a heavenly view. Understand the driving force behind events. Things may go adrift because the outcome isn't what He would want. Most importantly, ignore the thoughts/secrets of others who condemn. He sees us and our intentions as they truly are. It really is all that matters.

Thank you, Lord, for your calming peace and understanding when things become difficult. I couldn't do it without You!

God bless,
Bonnie

Stations of the Cross - from Anne a lay apostle

Stations of the Cross from the book Whispers from the Cross.

1st Station- Jesus is condemned

The condemnation of Christ was anticipated and was part, perhaps the greatest part, of God’s plan for Jesus and for us. Tabor and Calvary. Transfiguration and Crucifixion. Both woven into the tapestry of the life of the Blameless One. Jesus was unjustly judged and condemned. When we share that experience, we must accept it quietly, like Christ.

2nd Station- Jesus accepts his cross

Accepting the cross is not a momentary action without consequences. It is a doorway through which we walk, entering an ongoing experience of Calvary as one who follows Christ.

3rd Station- Jesus falls the first time

Life throws us to the ground, whether through our own failures or the failures of others. This should not discourage us, even though discouragement accompanies the experience. Sometimes, even in the same day, following Christ requires a series of decisions to rise and continue on.

4th Station- Jesus meets his mother

Often our pain is increased by the reaction of others to our suffering. This painful prism of misunderstanding is another facet of the cross and should be viewed as such. Our Blessed Mother understands our pain perfectly, and,  just as she never left her Son, she will never leave us.

5th Station- Simon helps Jesus

We resemble Christ when we move to assist another who struggles to manage a cross and Christ Himself is pleased when we humble ourselves and accept the help of others.

6th Station- Veronica wipes the face of Jesus

We are prompted through charity and mercy to help others. Others are blessed and consoled. And we take away with us the imprint of God’s goodness flowing through us, conforming us more completely to Jesus as He makes His way into the world.

7th Station- Jesus falls the second time

Oh sad disappointment! More pain. Still, the journey remains incomplete. Must we continue? We rise and return to the cross, to the plan unfulfilled.

8th Station- Jesus consoles the women of Jerusalem

Pity the women who share the dreadful concern of Mary for the children of God. Each person is someone’s child and holds the hopes and prayers of a mother that the world will be gentle and kind. Oh Jesus, give us your mercy for others.

9th Station- Jesus falls the third time

The commitment is to the death. The Collapsed knows only that life remains and, as such, must be offered until it is exhausted. Up. Onward. God will sustain. Let the Spirit drive us forward.

10th Station- Jesus is stripped of His garments

How sublime is the offering of standing naked before those who hate us and yet, in some way, less cruel than standing stripped before those who love us. Oh Jesus, give us the trust to endure all humiliation with confidence in the ultimate triumph of God’s love.

11th Station- Jesus is nailed to the Cross

Agony and relief. Total commitment leaves less room for question. We ask not ‘if ’ anymore. We ask simply, ‘how’, moment by moment in life’s anguish.

12th Station- Jesus dies on the Cross

Perseverance is the jewel of all jewels. Do not doubt the triumph. Do not back away from the course.

13th Station- Jesus is laid in the arms of His Mother

Quiet at last. A grief complete, but pregnant with joy. Humanity endures total stillness, even while time awaits the birth of all hope, the triumph of triumphs.

14th Station- Jesus is laid in the tomb

The body is reposed and the life is concluded, returned to timelessness once again.

Oh Jesus, help us to remember that the opportunity to serve you on earth will end. Give us the grace to be laid to rest after a life of offering, knowing that on each day we recognized you as our beloved King and lived, to the best of our ability, our allegiance to the Father. Give us the power of the Holy Spirit that we may continue to love in every circumstance life presents. Amen

Lent Day 30 - Accept

His melanoma had been diagnosed in 2004; surgery on his upper back left a gaping hole as if he had been blasted in the back with a cannonball. My father was pretty upset after the surgery . . . mad he allowed my sister and I to convince him to have the melanoma removed. When a new lesion was found and diagnosed as malignant metastatic melanoma on his leg early 2005, he was in complete denial. The results of the PET scan came on my birthday. My father's cancer had metastasized to his brain, lungs, and bones. Having forced my father to have this scan done, he blew off the results. "Doctors are only out to make money," he would say. This was in April 2005. By September, he was living in my home, completely wheelchair bound. A few weeks before his death in January 2006, he asked me if he would be in his own apartment again. This was an important moment for my dad and me . . . he knew he would get the full, unedited truth from me . . . no sugarcoating. Finally, at the end, he was ready to accept the truth. I told him no, he would be spending the rest of his days with me. I promised him I would be by his side the entire time. He quietly said "OK" and we continued to discuss the Super Bowl. There comes a time, hopefully sooner rather than later, we all need to accept the truth. Truth in our human condition. Truth in what Sacred Scripture tells us. Truth in what the Volumes reveal.

In today's Gospel (John 5:31-47), Jesus asks us to accept the Truth:

Jesus said to the Jews:  “If I testify on my own behalf, my testimony is not true. But there is another who testifies on my behalf, and I know that the testimony he gives on my behalf is true. You sent emissaries to John, and he testified to the truth. I do not accept human testimony, but I say this so that you may be saved. He was a burning and shining lamp, and for a while you were content to rejoice in his light. But I have testimony greater than John’s. The works that the Father gave me to accomplish, these works that I perform testify on my behalf that the Father has sent me. Moreover, the Father who sent me has testified on my behalf. But you have never heard his voice nor seen his form, and you do not have his word remaining in you, because you do not believe in the one whom he has sent. You search the Scriptures, because you think you have eternal life through them; even they testify on my behalf. But you do not want to come to me to have life.

“I do not accept human praise; moreover, I know that you do not have the love of God in you.  I came in the name of my Father, but you do not accept me; yet if another comes in his own name, you will accept him. How can you believe, when you accept praise from one another and do not seek the praise that comes from the only God? Do not think that I will accuse you before the Father: the one who will accuse you is Moses, in whom you have placed your hope. For if you had believed Moses, you would have believed me, because he wrote about me.  But if you do not believe his writings, how will you believe my words?”

In Anne's book Staying in Place, the following quote is clear . . . understanding Christ allows us to accept our own truth:

"Clearly, love is different from what people initially think when they hear the word. Love is vaster. Love demands a response and an honest acknowledgement of both frailty and vulnerability. We love with hearts that have been broken or with hearts that will be broken. Christ’s heart was broken at falseness, inconsistency and betrayal. We want to be as faithful as Christ was in our love for God in each other. But we must accept that we will fall short. If we have a full grasp of our teachings, we can negotiate our weaknesses, always striving for growth. But without each vocation integrating the teachings actively and ‘out loud’, so to speak, nobody really knows what this Christianity of ours is supposed to look like."

Lay apostles, have you accepted the Truth? Do you believe what you read in Sacred Scripture or do you look at it as the ramblings of a distant past? Read the Volumes to help you make sense of it all. The Gospel will begin to resonate deep within instead of in one ear and out the other.

Thank you, Lord, for Your Words in the Volumes.  They have made the Bible come alive for me.

God bless,
Bonnie

Lent Day 29 - Work

Today is a "Mimi day" as my grandson Colton calls it. Every Wednesday I work from home. Around noon, I pick up Colt and Savannah from preschool and the afternoon is usually filled with building the bullet train track with Colt, playing Barbies with Savannah, swinging on the swingset in the backyard and a multitude of other activities they may be in the mood for! As I sit here with them both on my bed while they watch Thomas the Train on my iPad, I am feeling overwhelmed with God's graces. I feel so grateful . . . grateful for the gift of grandchildren I love so dearly; grateful for the ability to work from home when I need to; and especially grateful today for a loving husband who understands and appreciates the importance of having this special time with the kids every week. The work we do to support ourselves, our families and our faith communities, when done in honor of Christ, allows His Love to flow through us to those He has chosen to place in our path. 

In the Gospel today (John 5:17-30), Jesus demonstrates the importance of focusing on our work in honor of Him:

Jesus answered the Jews: "My Father is at work until now, so I am at work." For this reason they tried all the more to kill him, because he not only broke the sabbath but he also called God his own father, making himself equal to God.

Jesus answered and said to them, "Amen, amen, I say to you, the Son cannot do anything on his own, but only what he sees the Father doing; for what he does, the Son will do also. For the Father loves the Son and shows him everything that he himself does, and he will show him greater works than these, so that you may be amazed. For just as the Father raises the dead and gives life, so also does the Son give life to whomever he wishes. Nor does the Father judge anyone, but he has given all judgment to the Son, so that all may honor the Son just as they honor the Father. Whoever does not honor the Son does not honor the Father who sent him. Amen, amen, I say to you, whoever hears my word and believes in the one who sent me has eternal life and will not come to condemnation, but has passed from death to life. Amen, amen, I say to you, the hour is coming and is now here when the dead will hear the voice of the Son of God, and those who hear will live. For just as the Father has life in himself, so also he gave to the Son the possession of life in himself. And he gave him power to exercise judgment, because he is the Son of Man. Do not be amazed at this, because the hour is coming in which all who are in the tombs will hear his voice and will come out, those who have done good deeds to the resurrection of life, but those who have done wicked deeds to the resurrection of condemnation.

"I cannot do anything on my own; I judge as I hear, and my judgment is just, because I do not seek my own will but the will of the one who sent me."

In Anne a lay apostle's book Staying in Place, she leads us to understand our work benefitting others will ultimately draw us closer to Christ:

"The most severe temptations will not sway us if we focus on our work, studying people’s pain and asking ourselves where love wants to go in the moment. The inevitable ups and downs of our experience as Catholics in the Church will not shake our resolve because we do not stare into the Church demanding something but stare into the people around us offering something. The sacramental graces of the Church sustain us along with our relationship with Christ in the Eucharist. Contemplation of people and their wounds will inspire us to give generously of all that we have."

Lay apostles, how do you approach your daily work? With dread or with joy? With love or with hostility? As Anne says in the above quote, remember people God places in our lives are wounded too . . . approach them with Jesus in mind. Follow the Lord's path with the same joy in service.

Thank you, Lord, for allowing me to continue to learn how to work harder at loving others and striving to be the light You designed me to shine.

God bless,
Bonnie

Lent Day 28 - Persecute

Jay enjoys ticker symbols racing across the TV in our commercial real estate office. He keeps CNBC on silent to be able to glance up once in a while to see how our stocks are performing. Personally, keeping this #FakeNews station on annoys me once in awhile when all I see is negative headlines regarding our patriotic President! President Trump suffers so much persecution from the biased, flagrant media. But then, it's the standard nowadays, isn't it? Thank God he doesn't seem fazed by any of it and continues his mission of Making America Great Again!

There has always been persecution . . . the most prominent being Christ. The more I think about this, the more unruffled I feel. If people insisted on murdering the Son of God, what makes me think anyone is free of inhumane behavior or attacks?  So, how do we handle all the criticism and insanity? We do just as Jesus did. Pick up our cross and continue in perseverance with the end goal in mind . . . heaven.

The Gospel today (John 5:1-16) demonstrates the insanity Jesus encountered is no different than the liberal media of today:

There was a feast of the Jews, and Jesus went up to Jerusalem. Now there is in Jerusalem at the Sheep Gate a pool called in Hebrew Bethesda, with five porticoes. In these lay a large number of ill, blind, lame, and crippled. One man was there who had been ill for thirty-eight years. When Jesus saw him lying there and knew that he had been ill for a long time, he said to him, "Do you want to be well?" The sick man answered him, "Sir, I have no one to put me into the pool when the water is stirred up; while I am on my way, someone else gets down there before me." Jesus said to him, "Rise, take up your mat, and walk." Immediately the man became well, took up his mat, and walked.

Now that day was a sabbath. So the Jews said to the man who was cured, "It is the sabbath, and it is not lawful for you to carry your mat."  He answered them, "The man who made me well told me, 'Take up your mat and walk.'" They asked him, "Who is the man who told you, 'Take it up and walk'?" The man who was healed did not know who it was, for Jesus had slipped away, since there was a crowd there. After this Jesus found him in the temple area and said to him, "Look, you are well; do not sin any more, so that nothing worse may happen to you." The man went and told the Jews that Jesus was the one who had made him well. Therefore, the Jews began to persecute Jesus because he did this on a sabbath.

The quote below from Anne in her book Staying in Place is perfect . . . let the Lord handle those who persecute:

"Regarding circumstances outside of our control? Those are the Lord’s affair. Healthy detachment protects us from disillusionment when we are persecuted and we must see the hand of God where the institutional Church acts protectively. Women, in particular, cannot fail to honor the massive contribution of our sisters gone before us. We must persevere in their footsteps, caring for all beloved men, women and children and actively assisting in the formation of the next generation. We protect the development of the Church by ongoing contribution in order to balance what can only be viewed as lopsided ministry where it is all male. Complementarity in Church leadership is the future. We must all, male and female, contemplate what that should look like and no doubt suffer to bring it about."

Lay apostles, persecution is the norm, so why are we surprised when we see it occur on the evening news? It's wrong, yes. It's inhumane at times, yes. View your persecutions with Jesus in mind. The next time you are chastised, take it on the chin for Christ, no matter how harsh the reality is. See it for what it is . . . harassment because of our beliefs. And, fear within the persecutor because his actions may be contrary to a belief system they refuse to follow due to sin they are not willing to give up. Think about it the next time you feel judged. And respond as Christ did.

Thank you, Lord, for bravery in persecutions. Without You, I am nothing. With You, I am humble. Give me the courage I need to make it home to heaven.

God bless,
Bonnie

Lent Day 27 - Honor

How do I honor Christ?

After reading the Gospel this morning, the word "honor" pervaded my thoughts. Honor means to regard with great respect; to fulfill (an obligation) or keep (an agreement). I know God doesn't have a problem fulfilling His part of the covenant with us. It's my human countenance that loses focus at times, allowing the world to dictate my ability to remain peaceful. My thoughts can quickly deteriorate, depending on the conflict ensuing. When I begin to "go there" in my head, the internal battle usually arises, causing me to feel unsettled. I know I am not respecting Christ and all He has done to get me to where I am today. So, how do I honor Him in these circumstances?  I honor Him by accepting His Mercy, even when I feel I don't deserve it. I honor Him by giving up more and more of my free will in exchange for an eternity with Him.

The Gospel today (John 4:43-54) teaches us not to ignore the graces He shows us on a daily basis:

At that time Jesus left [Samaria] for Galilee. For Jesus himself testified
that a prophet has no honor in his native place. When he came into Galilee, the Galileans welcomed him, since they had seen all he had done in Jerusalem at the feast; for they themselves had gone to the feast.

Then he returned to Cana in Galilee, where he had made the water wine.
Now there was a royal official whose son was ill in Capernaum. When he heard that Jesus had arrived in Galilee from Judea, he went to him and asked him to come down and heal his son, who was near death. Jesus said to him, "Unless you people see signs and wonders, you will not believe." The royal official said to him, "Sir, come down before my child dies." Jesus said to him, "You may go; your son will live." The man believed what Jesus said to him and left. While the man was on his way back, his slaves met him and told him that his boy would live. He asked them when he began to recover. They told him, "The fever left him yesterday, about one in the afternoon." The father realized that just at that time Jesus had said to him, "Your son will live," and he and his whole household came to believe. Now this was the second sign Jesus did
when he came to Galilee from Judea.

In Anne's book Staying in Place, she wisely reminds us of the honor Our Lord grants His Children:

"What is a sacrament? According to our Catechism, a sacrament is an outward and visible sign of an inward, invisible grace (St. Augustine). What is grace? Grace is a gift from God. We do not earn a gift. We cannot purchase one. It has to be given and the joy of receiving a gift is two-fold. One, we enjoy the gift itself, particularly if we need it and if it has practical application. Two, we are heartened and consoled that the Giver has contemplated us favorably, in love and earnest desire for connection. When someone earnestly desires connection with us and His motives are selfless, then we cannot help but be touched.


Our God is not a God of limitations and the only thing He is unwilling to interfere with is the action of our free will. If we insist on rejection of God and the family of God, then God will honor our choice."

Lay apostles, think about how you honor God today. Is it through a kind word or smile? Visiting Him in Adoration? Showing patience with a loved one? Whatever it is, make the effort and remember it's a two-way street. God always honors us . . . let's give Him the same in return!

Thank you, Lord, for reminding me honor goes both ways. Help me to honor You in all I do.

God bless,
Bonnie

Lent Day 24 - Love

It's been 10 years since the death of my mother. Today as I write my blog, I'm reminded of all the love she tried her best to give to her family as we tried our best in return despite her lifelong mental illness roller coaster. Loving in a difficult situation can be challenging, frustrating, and, unexpectedly entertaining:

It was a quiet evening at Hope Hospice that night back in 2007. Unresponsive at this point, Mom seemed comfortable in her hi-tech bed. My sister Diane and I spent three and a half long weeks by Mom's side, 24/7. One night, in particular, we had the TV show "Jeopardy!" lingering in the background. I will tell you right upfront, I suck at this game (of course, depending on the subject . . . 70's music and movies I can be fierce competition!). As usual, I half-listened to the "answers" not quick enough to figure out the "question." The final Jeopardy! "answer" was read . . . something about a Spanish painter and I knew the answer! I yelled out "Miro!" The response from the players . . . "Who is Miro!" I started woohooing, proud I finally got one right! Within seconds, Mom's nurse came running in. "Is everything ok?" she asked calmly with an empathetic look on her face. All of the sudden, I realized I was in hospice, and loud noises coming from a room are usually cries of grief at the loss of a loved one. I assured her there was no change in Mom, and I just got a little excited about getting the final Jeopardy! question right. She just smiled and nodded, closing the door behind her, I'm sure, to keep the noise level down!

In today's Gospel (Mark 12:28-34), Jesus accentuates that love is the key to His Heart:

One of the scribes came to Jesus and asked him, "Which is the first of all the commandments?" Jesus replied, "The first is this: Hear, O Israel! The Lord our God is Lord alone! You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart,  with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength. The second is this: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. There is no other commandment greater than these." The scribe said to him, "Well said, teacher. You are right in saying, He is One and there is no other than he. And to love him with all your heart, with all your understanding, 
with all your strength, and to love your neighbor as yourself is worth more than all burnt offerings and sacrifices." And when Jesus saw that he answered with understanding, he said to him, "You are not far from the Kingdom of God." And no one dared to ask him any more questions.

Boy does this quote from Anne's book Staying in Place nail why God's Love is crucial in creating a healthier, healed self:

"When we insist on healthy practices which reject superstition and which put people directly in relationship with God, we will feel lighter and more effective as Christians called to create what is fresh and healthy. When people insist on talking about Satan and evil we will equally insist on talking about Jesus Christ and His goodness. Mercy and love will replace fear, hatred, suspicion and distortion. Mercy and love. What was terribly incomplete must now be replaced with what is at least MORE complete and aimed at ever greater completeness."

Lay apostles, even in the most difficult situation, search for the good . . . the love that can be infused. Whether that love is for God, another person, or even yourself, make it a habit to bring every obstacle faced to the Foot of the Cross. Sometimes it's hard to determine good in adversity, but it can be done. Give it a try today if you are blessed with a challenge . . . He is waiting to send you heavenly love and graces.

Thank you, Lord, for continually reminding me through the Gospels and Anne's exquisite writing that God = Love. And, with His Love comes healing and peace.

God bless,
Bonnie

Lent Day 23 - Overcomes

Two of my daughters have been skydiving.  A friend skydives almost every weekend, with a total of over 700 jumps to date. The thought of leaping out of an airplane scares me to death. What if the parachute doesn't open?  What if you forget when to pull the cord to release it?  There are rules and regulations to assure the best outcome when jumping.  An experienced instructor teaches you about the equipment so you understand everything about the huge thing strapped to your back.  And, you listen very carefully, right?  You don't want to plunge 100 mph to your death! I am not an adrenaline junky in any way, shape or form.  But ask anyone to describe the experience and they will tell you it's liberating.  One minute of pure heaven . . . a leap of faith.  

Isn't belief in God like skydiving?  We need Christ, priests, and pastors (instructors) to guide and teach us about the Bible (equipment) so we are ready for the day we are called to heaven (the jump).  Take a leap of faith.  Overcome fears. Start implementing those rules and regulations daily knowing the Great Instructor wants us to arrive safe and sound. Believe.

The Gospel reading today (Luke 11:14-23) leaves me with this thought . . . Jesus is and was one patient, focused Man:

Jesus was driving out a demon that was mute, and when the demon had gone out, the mute man spoke and the crowds were amazed. Some of them said, "By the power of Beelzebul, the prince of demons, he drives out demons." Others, to test him, asked him for a sign from heaven. But he knew their thoughts and said to them, "Every kingdom divided against itself will be laid waste and house will fall against house. And if Satan is divided against himself,  how will his kingdom stand? For you say that it is by Beelzebul that I drive out demons. If I, then, drive out demons by Beelzebul, by whom do your own people drive them out? Therefore they will be your judges. But if it is by the finger of God that I drive out demons, then the Kingdom of God has come upon you. When a strong man fully armed guards his palace, his possessions are safe. But when one stronger than he attacks and overcomes him, he takes away the armor on which he relied and distributes the spoils. Whoever is not with me is against me, and whoever does not gather with me scatters."

Anne a lay apostle encourages us to overcome negativity and remain connected to each other in her book Staying in Place:

"If I believe in God, then I must accept that at times I am acting outside of His will. I must be interested in His pain at any separation from me that He experiences from these actions. Humanity being what it is, I must be encouraged to acknowledge these ruptures in relationship and set about healing and forgiving myself through the acceptance of responsibility. I must remain open to experiencing the sorrow that this causes both of us, meaning self and God. We, working together in relationship, overcome the negative actions and Jesus brings about healing for us. The beauty of this is the humble and contrite spirit that comes after this process. If we contemplate the mind of God in all of the areas of our lives, we will begin to allow God access to every corner and then something wonderful will occur."

I would like to end with a great quote from one of my favorite saints, St. Therese, the Little Flower:


Many people say, "I don't have the courage to make this sacrifice." Let them do what I did: exert a great effort. God never refuses that first grace which gives one the courage to act; afterwards the heart is strengthened.

Thank you, Lord, for all the lessons/Scriptures You have given us to overcome anything . . . please give me excellent recall of those lessons when I am confronted!

God bless,
Bonnie 

Lent Day 22 - Law

Why did the word "law" jump out from the Gospel today? Hmmm . . . after the Comey hearing yesterday, it's hard to swallow the degree to which our country was compromised over the last 8 years. When our own FBI and NSA can't even tell the truth, it's no wonder the lawlessness has grown out of hand. It's been an education making sense of what is really taking place in DC (and the world)! But I have discovered a gold mine in truth . . . a radio show called YourVoice radio hosted by Bill Mitchell (@mitchellvii). Bill's "tweets" kept me off the edge prior to President Trump's election. His radio broadcast provided an incandescent positivity along with solid explanations as to what was actually happening (and not being covered by #FakeNews) in politics. Bill's show is comprised of extremely informed co-hosts and guests from all realms.  Real people, the #NewMedia. President Trump inherited quite a mess, but I have full confidence he is a big part of the answer. He has been chosen to restore the law in this country. As Christians, our calling is the same . . . to shine the Light of Christ to all those in darkness. Live the commandments to the best of our ability, knowing we are all imperfect and will falter at times. The "laws" of Christ are there to protect and guide us, just as the U.S. Constitution was written to safeguard every American. Obedience to the laws allows us to live the freedoms so many have died for, especially Our Savior, Jesus Christ!

In today's Gospel (Matthew 5:17-19), Jesus asks us to set a good example for others:

Jesus said to his disciples: "Do not think that I have come to abolish the law or the prophets. I have come not to abolish but to fulfill. Amen, I say to you, until heaven and earth pass away, not the smallest letter or the smallest part of a letter will pass from the law, until all things have taken place. Therefore, whoever breaks one of the least of these commandments and teaches others to do so will be called least in the Kingdom of heaven. But whoever obeys and teaches these commandments will be called greatest in the Kingdom of heaven."

I love Anne's quote below from Staying in Place . . . especially the implications when a law is not taken seriously:

"We cannot accuse others but excuse ourselves. We must allow for God to come through all, regardless of their condition, regardless of their wounds and fallen natures. Why is this important and why does it sound so basic? Well, it is basic. But the law of gravity is also basic, and the ramifications of that law are layered and sometimes end in tragedy when that law is ignored."

Lay apostles, today, let's focus on how we are following the laws . . . God's and our country. We must set an example of peaceful obedience, kindness replacing anger. In a world full of conflict, the laws of God and His Truth will always prevail!

Thank you, Lord, for people like Bill Mitchell who want to see prosperity and peace cultivated among Your Children.

God bless,
Bonnie