Lent Day 21 - Forgive

Me? Stubborn? No, it's not stubbornness, it's just strength of mind or will the way I see it! When I feel very passionate about my viewpoint, it's hard to convince me otherwise. But when it's my way or the highway, how does that allow another to have their own point of view? I used to see everything as black or white . . . no shades of gray. Either you do or you don't. With age comes wisdom (thank GOD!). I can accept opinions in conflict with my own. I may be hurt or upset at first, but the love of Christ always leads me to forgiveness. I never want to disappoint Him. And when I don't forgive, I'm only hurting Our Lord. As long as I keep Him in the middle and see everything through His Eyes, compassion replaces vindication.

In today's Gospel (Matthew 18:21-35), Jesus is probably not offering Peter the explanation he was looking for:

Peter approached Jesus and asked him, "Lord, if my brother sins against me, how often must I forgive him? As many as seven times?"
Jesus answered, "I say to you, not seven times but seventy-seven times.
That is why the Kingdom of heaven may be likened to a king who decided to settle accounts with his servants. When he began the accounting, a debtor was brought before him who owed him a huge amount. Since he had no way of paying it back, his master ordered him to be sold, along with his wife, his children, and all his property, in payment of the debt.
At that, the servant fell down, did him homage, and said, 'Be patient with me, and I will pay you back in full.' Moved with compassion the master of that servant let him go and forgave him the loan. When that servant had left, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a much smaller amount. He seized him and started to choke him, demanding, 'Pay back what you owe.' Falling to his knees, his fellow servant begged him, 'Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.' But he refused. Instead, he had him put in prison until he paid back the debt. Now when his fellow servants saw what had happened, they were deeply disturbed, and went to their master and reported the whole affair. His master summoned him and said to him, 'You wicked servant! I forgave you your entire debt because you begged me to. Should you not have had pity on your fellow servant, as I had pity on you?' Then in anger his master handed him over to the torturers until he should pay back the whole debt. So will my heavenly Father do to you, unless each of you forgives your brother from your heart."

In the quote below from Staying in Place, Anne's words give me such a great visual . . . as a nurse, I know how crucial oxygen can be in those where it is deficient:

"God’s mercy is like oxygen. His friendship is so inviting, so unconditional and ever-present that we cannot avoid its eagerness to forgive and restore to relationship. God does not want people to teach limited mercy, but rather fullness of mercy."

Lay apostles, today let's strap on the oxygen mask and remember how loved we are by Our Creator. No matter our sins, He is ready and waiting to forgive. Let go of the anger or hurt clouding judgment of the offender. Remember, we are all imperfect. Contemplate how much we crave God's forgiveness for our own sins, allowing us to view others with this same compassion.

Thank you, Lord, for helping me to let go of pride and ego enough to forgive quickly when I am hurt or offended. This "forgiveness" stuff is hard work, but the end result is seeing You Face to face someday!

God bless,
Bonnie

Lent Day 20 - Afraid

Today the word "afraid" called my name in the Gospel, as it perfectly relates to a conversation I had this past weekend. Out to lunch with two women I am close to, the topic of martyrs came up. I recalled a dream I had while writing Heavenly Healing. I was in our local church, praying in front of the Blessed Sacrament. There were about 5 other Adorers scattered throughout the pews, when I heard scuffling in the back of the church. I turned around and saw a few masked men coming toward me. One of them came right up to me, pointed a gun at my forehead and asked, "Would you die for Him?" I didn't hesitate. I said, "Yes." He pulled the trigger and the impact of the bullet woke me as if actually shot. I was a bit disoriented as I jumped out of bed . . . the dream felt so real. That dream was a key moment in my life. Just years earlier, I would have been too afraid to say yes, and probably would have lied to stay alive.

As I was telling the two women this experience, one of them said, "But you wouldn't actually say 'yes' if it really happened, would you?" With no hesitation, I said "Of course I would say yes and die for Him!" She was shocked, going on further, "So if a demented person walked in this door right now, and you knew he was mentally ill and pointing a gun, you wouldn't say something to save your life?" I then told her I would never deny Him, ever. The look on her face made me realize how important it is to spread the Gospel messages and words from all of Heaven in the Volumes.

We are all heading to the same place, and I know He controls the day I am called home. Whether I am shot, drown, or die peacefully in my sleep, I am ready. Not that I am asking Him to take me now! But, if we fear death, are we really trusting God? It has taken this apostolate to form me, to learn to trust in Christ, no matter what is happening in my environment. It's not always easy and I can't say human fear wouldn't take over if confronted with the scenario from my dream. But my answer will always be "yes." Be not afraid!

In today's Gospel (Matthew 1:16, 18-21, 24A), Joseph had to overcome his human concerns about Mary, and follow the Lord's plan:

Jacob was the father of Joseph, the husband of Mary. Of her was born Jesus who is called the Christ.

Now this is how the birth of Jesus Christ came about. When his mother Mary was betrothed to Joseph, but before they lived together, she was found with child through the Holy Spirit. Joseph her husband, since he was a righteous man, yet unwilling to expose her to shame, decided to divorce her quietly. Such was his intention when, behold, the angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, "Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary your wife into your home. For it is through the Holy Spirit that this child has been conceived in her. She will bear a son and you are to name him Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins." When Joseph awoke, he did as the angel of the Lord had commanded him and took his wife into his home.

In Anne a lay apostle's book Staying in Place, she illuminates how important it is to stand firm in our love of God and commitment to Him:

"Many people remain in place, offering God’s love to others long after they have ‘felt’ an experience of love. Those children of the Father understand, in simplicity, that the best response they can make to God’s love is to bring it to others. Those who accept God’s love simply, need the least amount of persuasion and maintenance. God, in a real sense, gives them everything. They have been given the whole inheritance. They do not feel this, yet they serve on because they know this to be true intellectually. Really, whatever it takes to keep us serving is available to us in the moments we need help. On one day, one thing will provide what we need. On another day, it will be something else. This is important because if something consoles us one day and we lose it another day, we must not be afraid that we can no longer persevere. Instead, we should rest in the certainty that we no longer need that type of glue, and the newest type will be offered to us so that we can stick out our commitments to the spread of the Father’s love."

Lay apostles, do you let fear control your life? Not just the fear of death, but fear of what others will think of you? If your answer is yes, dig into the Bible. Read about the lives of Saints. Read the Volumes. I promise the more you understand Our Lord, the easier it is to let go of fear.

Thank you, Lord, for teaching me love and commitment to You trumps everything!

God bless,
Bonnie

Lent Day 17 - Respect

Last night Jay and I attended the Faith & Ale/Faith & Wine event with speaker Stephen Ray. Now that is one energetic man!

The depth in his understanding of biblical history ignites my desire even more to dig deeper as this is the history of my heavenly family. He is a storyteller extraordinaire, bringing to life the Truth of our Catholic faith. His comparison of pagan times in the Old Testament to our world today was an eye opener . . . associating the two realities hadn't crossed my mind. Everything associated with pagan behavior . . . instant gratification, whatever made them feel better at the time, was only temporary. Lying, sex, lust, drunkenness, and even killing was standard. Eventually, this way of living was not sustainable for many and only led to misery. The lack of respect for what was good and holy only motivated the early Christians to continue on to be even bolder. The joy with which Christians being martyred embodied at their death caused a curiosity among the pagans . . . what did the Christians know that they didn't? How could they be joyful when faced with a lion charging in the Colosseum? Hence, the growth of our Christian heritage.

Jay and I discussed Stephen's talk on the way home last night. What message stood out to me? It's time to be BOLD! It's time to turn the pagan ideology developing in our world again into a world of faith and decency. It begins with each one of us taking the first step! Spread the love of Jesus in your words and actions. Initiate it today!

In today's Gospel (Matthew 21:33-43, 45-46), Jesus uses the vineyard owner parable to teach us how selfishness and lack of respect will not lead to living life with Christ in eternity:

Jesus said to the chief priests and the elders of the people: “Hear another parable. There was a landowner who planted a vineyard, put a hedge around it, dug a wine press in it, and built a tower. Then he leased it to tenants and went on a journey. When vintage time drew near, he sent his servants to the tenants to obtain his produce. But the tenants seized the servants and one they beat, another they killed, and a third they stoned. Again he sent other servants, more numerous than the first ones, but they treated them in the same way. Finally, he sent his son to them, thinking, ‘They will respect my son.’ But when the tenants saw the son, they said to one another, ‘This is the heir. Come, let us kill him and acquire his inheritance.’ They seized him, threw him out of the vineyard, and killed him. What will the owner of the vineyard do to those tenants when he comes?” They answered him, “He will put those wretched men to a wretched death and lease his vineyard to other tenants who will give him the produce at the proper times.” Jesus said to them, “Did you never read in the Scriptures:

The stone that the builders rejected has become the cornerstone; by the Lord has this been done, and it is wonderful in our eyes?

Therefore, I say to you, the Kingdom of God will be taken away from you and given to a people that will produce its fruit.” When the chief priests and the Pharisees heard his parables, they knew that he was speaking about them. And although they were attempting to arrest him, they feared the crowds, for they regarded him as a prophet.

The following from Anne in her book Staying in Place flawlessly reveals we are responsible to choose how we respect others and ourselves:

"It is often through the negotiation of one’s wounds that God is discovered. It is in the decision to choose what is good, again and again, despite hurts that leads us to wellness. It is in the discovery that despite all of life’s confusion, we remain intact because God, the Source, never leaves us. Dignity cannot be bestowed upon us by others, even though we can discover and rediscover it through the compassion and respect of others. Our dignity has been bestowed upon us by our Creator.
Our dignity cannot be destroyed, diminished or obliterated. We are the only ones who can choose to reject our dignity. Let each person stand confidently and declare, 'God in me is good.'"

Lay apostles, do you recognize the state of our world today? The disrespect of everything good and holy is overwhelming at times, isn't it? The beauty of reading the Gospels and messages from all of heaven in the Volumes reminds us times have been difficult in the past and Christ overcame it all. He is still in control . . . always has been and always will be. Let's band together and live as Jesus specifically details in the Gospels. It's all there! We just need to dig in deeper and respect His directions.

Thank you, Lord, for leading me to Your incredibly talented servants who proclaim Your Words in a way I can understand clearly! You are so merciful!

God bless,
Bonnie

Lent Day 16 - Suffering

Suffering . . . the word itself is enough to send anyone running in the opposite direction! While contemplating this "word" from the Gospel today, my thoughts shifted to caring for my parents at end of life. Dad's end was distinctly different from Mom. Dad always had a pretty good attitude and never once complained after surrendering his once independent life to living in my home full time. He accepted his suffering like a champion (metastatic malignant melanoma), and when he asked for pain medication, which he rarely did, I knew it was pretty bad. Every day for those precious four months I had with him (24/7) were filled with routine . . . morning coffee, out to the patio to smoke, and 10am Price is Right during the week! Afternoons were spent watching sports and occasional rides to Target (his favorite store!) just to get him out of the house. Despite the good days, the suffering was mutual. To see my strong, sports loving father wither away into a thin, frail man broke my heart at times. His last moment on Earth was exactly what he had asked for and what my sister and I promised . . . we would be holding his hand when he took his last breath. It was as calm and peaceful as he had lived most of his life.

Now, my mother on the other hand . . . well, let's just say her end of life was consistent with her life on earth. A lifetime of mental illness was full of highs and lows. I know, in my heart, she suffered her purgatory on Earth. Always tormented by her traumatic childhood, her last weeks in hospice seemed she would leave this earth just as tormented. It was Lent and a visiting priest came in to see her. After he left, my sister and I read to mom (she wasn't responding at this point, but constantly scowling) from a Lenten devotional which happened to be on forgiveness that day. There were so many people who had hurt my mom as a child, and I believe she had held those hurts close. We encouraged her to forgive her tormenters so she could move on to paradise. That evening, something had changed . . . Mom had the most peaceful look on her face. And it remained until she passed away a few days later. Not only was she relieved of her earthly suffering, but my sister and I could release ours too.

Today's Gospel (Luke 16:19-31) reminds us that suffering on earth is worth our eternity in heaven:

Jesus said to the Pharisees: “There was a rich man who dressed in purple garments and fine linen and dined sumptuously each day. And lying at his door was a poor man named Lazarus, covered with sores, who would gladly have eaten his fill of the scraps that fell from the rich man’s table. Dogs even used to come and lick his sores. When the poor man died, he was carried away by angels to the bosom of Abraham. The rich man also died and was buried, and from the netherworld, where he was in torment, he raised his eyes and saw Abraham far off and Lazarus at his side. And he cried out, ‘Father Abraham, have pity on me. Send Lazarus to dip the tip of his finger in water and cool my tongue, for I am suffering torment in these flames.’ Abraham replied, ‘My child, remember that you received what was good during your lifetime while Lazarus likewise received what was bad; but now he is comforted here, whereas you are tormented. Moreover, between us and you a great chasm is established to prevent anyone from crossing who might wish to go from our side to yours or from your side to ours.’ He said, ‘Then I beg you, father, send him to my father’s house, for I have five brothers, so that he may warn them, lest they too come to this place of torment.’ But Abraham replied, ‘They have Moses and the prophets.

Let them listen to them.’ He said, ‘Oh no, father Abraham, but if someone from the dead goes to them, they will repent.’ Then Abraham said, ‘If they will not listen to Moses and the prophets, neither will they be persuaded if someone should rise from the dead.’“

The quote by Anne below from Staying in Place correlates so well with my thought process today and spotlights my Lenten objective:

"For our Apostolate, let us focus on the people God has placed in our care. For us, Church must be found in the needs of God’s children around us. If we become temporarily discouraged by mistreatment in the Church, then we will look to the people in whom God has placed the Church around us, and we will persevere. The Church as the Bride of Christ is a spiritual institution. The most severe temptations will not sway us if we focus on our work, studying people’s pain and asking ourselves where love wants to go in the moment. The inevitable ups and downs of our experience as Catholics in the Church will not shake our resolve because we do not stare into the Church demanding something but stare into the people around us offering something. The sacramental graces of the Church sustain us along with our relationship with Christ in the Eucharist. Contemplation of people and their wounds will inspire us to give generously of all that we have.

Christ was not usually thanked and blessed. He was usually rejected and distorted. He is the One we follow. His experience will be ours, undoubtedly, to a greater or lesser degree. Suffering should not alarm us, but confirm us in our service."

Lay apostles, we all have suffered spiritually, mentally, emotionally or physically to one degree or another over the span of our lives so far. I love the last line in the above quote by Anne, "Suffering should not alarm us, but confirm us in our service." Suffering is not unique to certain people. My suffering is exclusive to me. As much as I would like things to go differently at times, it's not the path Jesus has in mind. The older I get, the more my eyes are opened to the reality that is life. Mentally preparing for any suffering can be done on a daily basis . . . by trusting Our Lord is maneuvering us around for His Glory!

Thank you, Lord, for the prep you have done in my heart and mind to bring me to where I am today. Although I have so much more to learn and practice, I know trusting in You will sustain me.

God bless,
Bonnie

Lent Day 15 - Authority

My book, Heavenly Healing, not only made me an author for the first time, but taught me many lessons in the process. After reading today's Gospel and contemplating why the word "authority" spoke to me, Anne a lay apostle immediately came to mind. Heavenly Healing is a book of testimonies from lay apostles all over the world who had been blessed by the Apostolate of Jesus Christ the Returning King. The first time I heard Anne speak, it was like drinking water from a fire hose! Jesus grabbed my heart that day, truly beginning my journey toward eternity. A few years later, after devouring every Volume, every Heaven Speaks booklet, Climbing the Mountain and Mist of Mercy, I wanted to write. I needed to write. After publishing a few articles in Christian magazines, I felt the Lord leading me to something bigger . . . I just wasn't sure what that was.  Soon I found myself sitting across from Anne, interviewing her. Eleven years and four books later, our relationship has grown into a wonderful friendship, and to this day, she remains the most faith-filled woman I know (and she is the first to say she is imperfect!). God has genuinely given me a mentor to climb the mountain of holiness with.

So, why did I think of Anne when I contemplated the word "authority" in today's Gospel? Because she gives God the authority He deserves in everything she does, says and writes. It's never been about her, it's about what Jesus desires. She is constantly seeking His Will, encouraging everyone to do the same. 

Matthew 20:17-28:

As Jesus was going up to Jerusalem, he took the Twelve disciples aside by themselves, and said to them on the way, "Behold, we are going up to Jerusalem, and the Son of Man will be handed over to the chief priests and the scribes, and they will condemn him to death, and hand him over to the Gentiles to be mocked and scourged and crucified, and he will be raised on the third day."

Then the mother of the sons of Zebedee approached Jesus with her sons and did him homage, wishing to ask him for something. He said to her, "What do you wish?" She answered him, "Command that these two sons of mine sit, one at your right and the other at your left, in your kingdom." Jesus said in reply, "You do not know what you are asking.
Can you drink the chalice that I am going to drink?" They said to him, "We can." He replied, "My chalice you will indeed drink, but to sit at my right and at my left, this is not mine to give but is for those for whom it has been prepared by my Father." When the ten heard this, they became indignant at the two brothers. But Jesus summoned them and said, "You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and the great ones make their authority over them felt. But it shall not be so among you. Rather, whoever wishes to be great among you shall be your servant; whoever wishes to be first among you shall be your slave. Just so, the Son of Man did not come to be served but to serve
and to give his life as a ransom for many."

In Anne a lay apostle's book Staying in Place, she reminds us that desiring Truth is ultimately our path to knowing God:

"Perhaps what is needed is a firmer connection to the mind of God. What is the mind of God?

Well, any encounter with the Father would bring one to understand authority. The Father radiates authority. Real authority, of course, comes from Truth. Full Truth, that is. Not shades of the Truth, not self-serving slants on the Truth and certainly not the Truth arbitrated for any one given historical point of history. The Truth never changes but here is the reality of our relationship to the Truth. At given historical points, God seems to allow us to go deeper into the Truth, to discover in greater detail its unchanging elements. And it is those true elements that withstand the test of time, as Divine Mercy has withstood the test of time. It has proved itself to be a true revelation for all times. But people were not ready for it prior to its revealed moment and possibly only through time will we absorb and apply it more fully."

Lay apostles, how connected do you feel to God right now? Are you taking time this Lent to develop your relationship with Him? How does today's Gospel speak to you? My connection to Him is through our morning/spiritual readings, prayers at meals, weekly Adoration, praying the Rosary and going to Mass. The more I get to know Him, the more I feel the need to give up self-will . . . to let Him take the reins.

Thank you, Lord, for being the Authority in my life. It seems so much easier when I let You lead!

God bless,
Bonnie

Lent Day 14 - Practice

My 4-year-old grandson Colton loves speed. The faster something goes, the bigger the grin on his sweet face. For Christmas this past year, Santa brought him a go-cart . . . I mean a real one with the capability of going up to 25 mph! The first time he sat in his shiny new machine to take it for a spin, the speed control hadn't been set and he took off like a bullet! Luckily no damage to him or any surrounding property occurred, but the speed bug hit him! With a little practice, determination and coordination, this kid shockingly mastered his (5 mph max speed set!) driving skills! At age 4!!! Here is a short video I took of him this past weekend, donuts being his favorite thing to do right now:

As with Colt's advancing driving skills, the more we "practice" our faith, living the life Jesus died to give us, the more enriched our lives become . . . the easier it is to master love, kindness, service to others, and compassion. 

In today's Gospel (Matthew 23:1-12), Jesus teaches us the value of practicing what you preach:

Jesus spoke to the crowds and to his disciples, saying, "The scribes and the Pharisees have taken their seat on the chair of Moses. Therefore, do and observe all things whatsoever they tell you, but do not follow their example. For they preach but they do not practice. They tie up heavy burdens hard to carry and lay them on people's shoulders, but they will not lift a finger to move them. All their works are performed to be seen. They widen their phylacteries and lengthen their tassels. They love places of honor at banquets, seats of honor in synagogues,
greetings in marketplaces, and the salutation 'Rabbi.' As for you, do not be called 'Rabbi.' You have but one teacher, and you are all brothers.
Call no one on earth your father; you have but one Father in heaven.
Do not be called 'Master'; you have but one master, the Christ. The greatest among you must be your servant. Whoever exalts himself will be humbled; but whoever humbles himself will be exalted."

Anne has written one of my favorite lines in her book Staying in Place, ithe first sentence in the quote below:

"If we expect life to occasionally feel like a rodeo instead of an orderly procession of happy events, we will be in a greater state of readiness for our life experience.

Self-pity is the enemy of wellness and joy. Self-pity is the enemy of virtue. Self-pity targets initiative and accomplishment. Jesus Christ kept working from the cross of His death, organizing care for His mother, obtaining forgiveness for His persecutors, doing the hard work to wrap His head around His circumstances, even asking, 'My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?'

My friends, if we are breathing, life has expectations of us. Today’s expectations could jump to a far higher level at any moment. We must prepare to serve. And when we are most disappointed, we must practice finding what is good around us, what is pure, even when it is only pure sorrow. Then we might say with profound gratitude, 'Thank you, Jesus that someone taught me to believe in the next life, where all of this suffering will have evaporated and where I will be united with loved ones in safety and celebration, free from pain, harm and threat.'”

Lay apostles, how are you practicing your faith this Lent? I figure if I can do it a little better every day, I am heading in the right direction. By reading/learning more about my Catholic faith, demonstrating patience when difficult and loving unconditionally, my road to Heaven becomes very clear. I just need to keep my blinders on when distractions come my way . . . which takes a lot of practice!

Thank you, Lord, for the lessons learned by watching my 4-year-old grandson mastering his go-cart! Your lessons are everywhere!

God bless,
Bonnie

Lent Day 13 - Merciful

It's easy to get caught up in noise. It's easy to try to predict reasons behind erratic behavior. Analyzing every possible scenario is exhausting. So why try? Well, it's just how my brain works. Luckily, I have learned that when my brain starts calculating worst case and best case scenarios, it's time to call in the Big Guy. My job is to love and be merciful, leading by example. And, set very clear boundaries. 


Reminds me of an incident when my three girls were teenagers. It was around the time Ricky Martin was the big teen heartthrob. He had just opened a restaurant in Miami, so we decided it would be a fun day trip. (The girls were hoping they would get a glimpse of him, although it was highly unlikely). We were on the highway for about 20 minutes, when my oldest Mallorie was arguing with her youngest sister Taylor. The first "girls, stop the fighting" calmly escaped my lips. They quieted for about 5 minutes. Then, the bickering began again. Now my voice was a little louder. "Girls, if you argue one more time we are turning around and going home," I said (regretfully after I realized I would have to follow through with the threat!). "Noooooo, mom, we won't fight anymore. We promise!"  I was actually pretty excited to visit the restaurant, too, so I hoped they would get along for the next hour. Mind you, my middle daughter Whitney stayed out of the conflict. After the first warning, she reiterated my words to her sisters. After the second warning, she was starting to get upset with them. We were about 10 miles from Alligator Alley and turning around wasn't an option for quite awhile. Then from the back seat, it happened. I can't remember who started it. "OK, no Ricky Martin today! You guys blew it!" Got off at the next exit and turned around with three girls crying and apologizing and begging for another chance, although they knew I almost always followed through with my threats (I did let some things slip once in a while!). The lesson is, stop the noise. I am completely aware teenagers = drama. But as adults, unacceptable behavior is just that . . . unacceptable.  With clear boundaries intact, it takes a lot to disturb my peace anymore. I love unconditionally, with mercy, but won't hesitate to pull off the highway and head back home!

In today's Gospel (Luke 6:36-38), Jesus talks about U-Turns:

Jesus said to his disciples: "Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.

"Stop judging and you will not be judged. Stop condemning and you will not be condemned. Forgive and you will be forgiven. Give and gifts will be given to you; a good measure, packed together, shaken down, and overflowing, will be poured into your lap. For the measure with which you measure will in return be measured out to you."

In Anne's book Staying in Place, she reminds us of Our God's great mercy and patience:

"People tend to put their past sins in the front seat, blocking their spirituality. In truth, God understands more than anyone why that person committed the sins he or she committed. People might believe that a harsh God has turned away from them but it will never be true. And if human beings judged them for mistakes or for sins, people do not forget that and they believe God is the same. God waits patiently, up the road, pointing to a hope- filled future, waiting to be noticed as a merciful, loving and understanding force for healing and change."

Lay apostles, Jay has an analogy I love when things become chaotic. An American gentleman one day goes to India. He's meeting with an Indian executive on the first floor of a high rise building. Behind the executive is a large glass window through which he observes people outside the building spinning in circles. Finally, he interrupts the executive and asks what the people outside were doing. The executive explains it is part of a religious sect called the Whirling Dervishes. They whirl because it's part of their belief system. The American asked him "how do you deal with them whirling directly outside your building?" He responds, "I don't do anything.  I leave them alone. Don't allow them to disturb me. I allow them to whirl because they are going to do it wherever they are." The moral of the story is even though some people choose to whirl, we can allow them to do so without getting caught up in their vortex of chaos. We can choose to detach with love and mercy. In doing so, we will obtain more clarity, peacefulness, and energy to do His Will.

Thank you, Lord, for getting me through the teenage years and now enjoying my adult daughters and grandchildren! So much easier being a grandparent!

God bless,

Bonnie

Lent Day 10 - Liable

Today's word from the Gospel . . . liable. 

The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines this as obligated according to law or equity. I hear this and all I can think of are the protesters spewing hatred and violence because they don't know what else to do with themselves. The question that comes to mind is . . . don't they have jobs? Responsibilities? A life? If only they would direct all that energy to cleaning up neighborhoods devestated by poverty and crime instead of destroying small businesses, leaving trash/debris everywhere for hard working men/women to clean up after them. Jesus's words today are so pertinent to the climate in America at this time. Intolerance is being lauded instead of integrity. Violence instead of kindness. Though we can judge an action, we can't judge a soul. Therefore, we must begin within, auditing our own behaviors and actions. Compliance with Our Lord's teaching today (Matthew 5:20-26) is all about accountability . . . making us liable:

Jesus said to his disciples:  "I tell you, unless your righteousness surpasses that of the scribes and Pharisees, you will not enter into the Kingdom of heaven.

"You have heard that it was said to your ancestors, You shall not kill; and whoever kills will be liable to judgment. But I say to you, whoever is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment, and whoever says to his brother, Raqa, will be answerable to the Sanhedrin, and whoever says, 'You fool,' will be liable to fiery Gehenna. Therefore, if you bring your gift to the altar, and there recall that your brother has anything against you, leave your gift there at the altar, go first and be reconciled with your brother, and then come and offer your gift. Settle with your opponent quickly while on the way to court. Otherwise, your opponent will hand you over to the judge, and the judge will hand you over to the guard, and you will be thrown into prison. Amen, I say to you, you will not be released until you have paid the last penny."

In Anne a lay apostle's book Staying in Place, her words/teaching hold true for each and every one of God's children:

"Like it or not, accept it or not, our Catholic Church is known for guilt complexes. People even use the word Catholic as an adjective for a certain type of guilt. Now, guilt is not a bad thing. Taking responsibility for one’s mistakes, especially when these mistakes elevate to the level of sin, is crucial for development. We must hold ourselves accountable for actions that hurt either ourselves or others. This is good formation and if taught correctly prompts the growth of integrity. Nothing is wrong on the face of that. As long as it allows for process and prompts people to ask the question ‘Why’? And also gives a path to adapt bad habits by providing a ‘How?’

Let us look at what can be called the other side of guilt, shame. What people are probably referencing when they say Catholic guilt is actually closer to shame. Shame is not from God. God does not want us to feel shame. The truth is that our sacramental life actually helps people to manage their guilt so they are not stuck in quagmires of shame which can cripple ongoing development as well as distort us and others. So it is crucial that we distinguish between the two and keep ourselves in a place of realistic understanding of our sins and patterns of sin. Perhaps we should break it down further.

Guilt communicates the following: ‘You did a bad thing.’ Or, far better, ‘I did a bad thing. I am capable of doing bad things.’ This is the truth. It is our condition as human beings. We have choices to make and sometimes, for various reasons, we make the wrong choices. The result can be sin which rightfully prompts guilt.

Shame communicates the following: ‘You are a bad person’. Or, sadly, ‘I am a bad person. I am not capable of good things anymore because the past actions I have committed mean I am permanently marked.’ This cruel distortion of the truth is immature, unrealistic, distorted and the enemy of all unity and peace and growth."

Lay apostles, we all have made poor choices which didn't exactly turn out as we thought they would, right? Unfortunately, our wounded humanity arises when we feel defeated or fearful, causing us to react. All Jesus is trying to tell us is when we do cause hurt, ask for forgiveness . . . make things right. And as Anne says, make sure you know the difference between guilt and shame. Don't let the enemy skew your thoughts, holding you back from being liable for your actions.

Thank you, Lord, for the crystal clear directions on how to be accountable/liable for my words and actions.

God bless,
Bonnie

Lent Day 9 - Ask

In today's Gospel (Matthew 7:7-12), the word "ask" caught my eye:

Jesus said to his disciples: "Ask and it will be given to you;
seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives; and the one who seeks, finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.
Which one of you would hand his son a stone when he asked for a loaf of bread, or a snake when he asked for a fish? If you then, who are wicked, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good things to those who ask him.

"Do to others whatever you would have them do to you.
This is the law and the prophets."

Jesus makes it so simple to ask Him for what we need. Now, the key is accepting what happens after we ask as His Will, not ours! The Gospel spells it out clearly . . . TRUST in Him and He will provide. It's so easy to fall into the trap of believing God doesn't hear your prayers when they are left unanswered. Alas, here is a question to ponder: Do I calmly go about my life, consciously aware He will guide me in the right direction to answer my prayer? Or, do I anticipate immediate change, becoming impatient with God when it doesn't occur fast enough? Believe in the Gospel. Believe in Jesus. He is in control.

In Anne a lay apostle's book Staying in Place, Jesus asks us to open our hearts and minds to the love of God. For when we do, He is able to give us everything we need and pray for:

"I am extending to you now a gift of calm, along with a gift of certainty. Ask me for these gifts and they shall be yours. You will be glad of your commitment to me. The cost to you is the relinquishment of self-will. The benefit to you is sublime and goes out to the whole world. You are standing in a place of conviction. Talk about conviction. Talk about your certainty of My presence in the world and My plan for the children of the Father who both radiates love and creates love. When you receive His love and offer it to others, it grows and grows and grows. But you must accept love. Perhaps that is another question for you to answer.

Do you believe that you are loved? Contemplate this question often. You are loved infinitely. When others hate you because of Me, the Father’s tenderness for you reflects His tenderness for Me during My passion. Believe this because you will then rejoice at your sufferings. Each opportunity to endure ridicule will be for you an indication of how close you are to Me. I love you. You are a part of Me and without you the body of Christ on Earth is less. Please remain steadfast in My plan for you."

Lay apostles, WE ARE LOVED! Every one of us. Develop the confidence to fully follow the journey Christ has laid out for you and the courage to ask Him for graces in times of weakness or uncertainty. The more I trust Him, and I mean REALLY trust Him with my whole heart, the easier it is to handle the ups and downs I am faced with on a daily basis. 

Thank you, Lord, for Your beautiful words above . . . both in the Gospel and Staying in Place. Please be quick to remind me of Your passion and all You suffered for me so I can get back on track when I have gone a little off course!

God bless,

Bonnie

Lent Day 8 - Signs

Busy, busy, busy. The years seem to be flying by. Seems like just yesterday I became a grandma for the first time . . . now, four grandkids later, my oldest grandson starts kindergarten this fall! And, it has been almost nine months since our beautiful Catholic wedding at Tearmann Anama (Soul Sanctuary - DFOT HQ) in Ireland!  

This Lent, I am trying to slow down and savor every day . . . to take notice of all God has placed in my life, in full view. I see His blessing when my husband lovingly puts his arm around my shoulder while we pray in Adoration; in the delight of my granddaughter when she rushes into my arms when I pick her up from preschool. When life goes awry or busyness occupies our fleeting days, stop and notice the beauty, love and graces placed in your surroundings. He is everywhere . . . just slow down enough to notice.

Today's Gospel (Luke 11:29-32) provides a simple truth, stop searching for proof of God's existence, and look to His Son for confirmation:

While still more people gathered in the crowd, Jesus said to them, "This generation is an evil generation; it seeks a sign, but no sign will be given it, except the sign of Jonah.  Just as Jonah became a sign to the Ninevites, so will the Son of Man be to this generation. At the judgment the queen of the south will rise with the men of this generation and she will condemn them,
because she came from the ends of the earth to hear the wisdom of Solomon, and there is something greater than Solomon here.  At the judgment the men of Nineveh will arise with this generation and condemn it, because at the preaching of Jonah they repented, and there is something greater than Jonah here."

In Anne a lay apostle's new book Staying in Place: Recovery in the Church, she reminds us we are all here on Earth for a reason . . . and how important each of us are in leading others to Heaven:

"We are in a time of reform. The signs are all around us. While we must reform our hearts, we must also remember why we have been assembled and for what purpose. We are the yeast which is to raise the children of God toward the dignity of Heaven. Everyone counts. Everyone is crucially valuable. Everyone is lovable and has the dignity of the Father who created us." 

Lay apostles, if you haven't fully committed yourself to walking this journey with Christ, what is your hesitation? Think about that today. It's surprising how what we think is a hurdle is actually a curb. 

Thank you, Lord, for the constant reminders of Your love and the sense to know I am needed by You.

God bless,
Bonnie

Lent Day 7 - Babble

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, the word "babble" means to talk enthusiastically or excessively. Considering Jesus uses the word babble as a behavior not becoming of a Christian in today's Gospel . . . well, the Italian in me is hard to subdue when I am passionate about something or someone. There are times I am in conversation with a new acquaintance and find I need to remind myself over and over to listen instead of "babble."  Is my need to chime in the need to feel connected? To show I understand or can relate to the story at hand? I love to find common ground with people I meet, to bond on commonality. But that doesn't excuse my lack of listening at times. This prompted thinking about my prayer life. Do I listen to Him or give Him my long list of prayer requests? Usually it's the latter. One of my goals this Lent is to listen to Him more, and babble less. A goal once perfected, will (prayerfully!) spill over into everyday interactions.

In today's Gospel (Matthew 6:7-15), Jesus gives us the perfect prayer to live by:

Jesus said to his disciples: "In praying, do not babble like the pagans,
who think that they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them. Your Father knows what you need before you ask him.

"This is how you are to pray:

Our Father who art in heaven,

hallowed be thy name,

thy Kingdom come,

thy will be done,

on earth as it is in heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread;

and forgive us our trespasses,

as we forgive those who trespass against us;

and lead us not into temptation,

but deliver us from evil.

"If you forgive men their transgressions,

your heavenly Father will forgive you.

But if you do not forgive men,

neither will your Father forgive your transgressions."

In Anne a lay apostle's book Whispers From the Cross, she reminds us to be cautious of what comes out of our mouths: 

"In moments of useless communication when we are not in communion with Jesus, the enemy can come with temptation. Our talk is then subject to a dark influence. Our talk can then become subject to the enemy’s plan. In many ways and on many occasions we have furthered the plan of Satan through talking and other forms of communication that are not willed by heaven. Better we be mute than assist Satan in tearing down what the Lord attempts to build. Many things can happen in useless talking and random communication. Often what happens is destructive gossip. Before any communication, therefore, we must seek to determine if Jesus wants us to communicate. Is Jesus asking us to make this communication? Many times and probably most times the answer will be ‘No’. Jesus needs only the smallest percentage of the communications we make."

Lay apostles, let's take note of how much we listen to others today. Do we cut people off to "babble?" Do we finish their thoughts for them? I know I am guilty of this! Just a few moments ago when Jay was talking to me, I assumed I knew what he was trying to tell me and responded before he finished. He asked if he could continue his thought. The outcome was different than what I assumed. (Sorry my love!) Less babble, more listening for me!

Thank you, Lord, for reminding me to listen first, respond second (which I know is a common reminder for You in our relationship!).

God bless,

Bonnie 

Lent Day 6 - Inheritance

My word from the Gospel today: Inherit

This year will be the 10th anniversary of my mother's death. Hard to believe the time has flown by so quickly. My mother suffered many tragedies as a child, inducing a lifetime of mental illness. But there was one thing she was very clear on . . . her inheritance in heaven. She would always say, considering she was an orphan and a widow (after my father died), she surely would have the greatest riches in heaven. I remember thinking she might be spending a bit of time in purgatory before seeing those riches, but nevertheless, I knew she was right. So many search for their inheritance here on earth . . . thinking more money in their bank account means a better life. I've seen and heard about families feuding over an item left behind . . . coveting a material object instead of comforting each other for their loss of a loved one. It's time to let go of material things and start focusing on our heavenly inheritance. I will leave you with this quote from the movie Bella. The main female lead, Nina, says "I've done the research and ten out of ten people die." We are all heading in the same direction toward eternal life . . . we only have this one chance to aim for heaven. 

Today's Gospel (Matthew 25:31-46) couldn't be any clearer, and make my choice any easier . . . I want to be on the right side:

Jesus said to his disciples: "When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit upon his glorious throne, and all the nations will be assembled before him.  And he will separate them one from another, as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. He will place the sheep on his right and the goats on his left. Then the king will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father.
Inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, a stranger and you welcomed me, naked and you clothed me, ill and you cared for me, in prison and you visited me.' Then the righteous will answer him and say, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? When did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you?  When did we see you ill or in prison, and visit you?' And the king will say to them in reply, 'Amen, I say to you, whatever you did for one of these least brothers of mine, you did for me.' Then he will say to those on his left, 'Depart from me, you accursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the Devil and his angels. For I was hungry and you gave me no food, I was thirsty and you gave me no drink, a stranger and you gave me no welcome, naked and you gave me no clothing, ill and in prison, and you did not care for me.' Then they will answer and say, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or ill or in prison, and not minister to your needs?' He will answer them, 'Amen, I say to you, what you did not do for one of these least ones, you did not do for me.' And these will go off to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life."

God the Father in Volume Three speaks words of comfort, filled with Fatherly Advice:

"In heaven, you will have instant and constant communication with Me. We will take such joy in each other, dear children. There is a complete absence of want in heaven. You will search in vain for the poor, the troubled, and the sick. Everywhere you look you will view another tableau of peace and serenity. Souls will seek knowledge and find it. Souls will seek wisdom and obtain it. Souls will seek understanding from others and others will instantly understand them. Such sympathetic listening will take place in heaven, My children. You will know nothing of anxiety for loved ones in heaven because all will be well and all will be decided. There will be no uncertainty in the hearts of My children. Dear ones, this is your destiny. This is your inheritance for which you were created. Your time on earth is a small capsule of time designed to give you the opportunity to obtain your place in heaven. Use the gifts I have given you and you will find no limit to what you can achieve on earth. All heavenly help is available."

Lay apostles, today when thinking about our heavenly inheritance, think about loved ones who have gone before us. Think about how much they may have suffered on earth. Then reread the excerpt from Volume Three above. I know my mom is finally where she always longed to be . . . home in eternity with her Beloved Jesus.

Thank you, Lord, for all the wisdom in Your Gospels and in the Volumes. I can't imagine life without them. And, thank you for reminding me about what is waiting when I return home some day!

God bless,
Bonnie

Lent Day 3 - Mourn

Weekly Adoration is invaluable. It's water to a thirsty soul . . . quiet time for just Jesus and me. My typical hour consists of first, the Rosary. Then, going through all family members/friends and praying for any intentions they may have or need. The hour usually flys by quickly. 

For Christmas this year, my daughter Whitney and my grandson Colt and granddaughter Savannah made me a Rosary. It bears the names of 4 little human beings I love and treasure with all my heart!

This past Tuesday Jay and I were visiting the Blessed Sacrament. I prayed my Rosary as I always do. Each decade I say a prayer for the grandchild whose name is colorfully displayed. After finishing the Sorrowful Mysteries, something made me get up to light candles, which I do sometimes, but not every visit. I felt drawn to light 4 candles specifically for my daughter Whitney, son-in-law Kevin, Colton and Savannah. As I approached my seat next to Jay, he whispered Kevin was calling my cell. By the time I reached for my phone, Kevin was calling Jay's cell. He stepped out and took the call. Jay returned and motioned for me to grab my things and come out. I knew something was wrong. Our baby Savannah (2 yrs old) was en route to the hospital via ambulance.  She had spiked a fever and became cyanotic (turning blue). We met them at the ER to find out it was a febrile seizure (A febrile seizure, also known as a fever fit or febrile convulsion, is a seizure associated with a high body temperature but without any serious underlying health issue. They most commonly occur in children between the ages of 6 months and 5 years). On the drive home, I could not stop thanking Our Merciful Lord for quick recovery and that this was not something life threatening. 

After reading today's Gospel (Matthew 9:14-15), the word "mourn" struck me . . . one minute my sweet grandbaby is in the ER, the next day I was playing Barbies with her as I gave her a bath. I was overwhelmed with gratitude and thanksgiving in that moment and that's why the word "mourn" stood out today. Each day should be filled with thankfulness for our loved ones because, in a blink, any one of us can be called home. Why spend the time mourning what could be when we have them flesh and blood with us today?

The disciples of John approached Jesus and said, "Why do we and the Pharisees fast much, but your disciples do not fast?" Jesus answered them, "Can the wedding guests mourn as long as the bridegroom is with them?

The days will come when the bridegroom is taken away from them, and then they will fast."

In Volume Four, Jesus tells us to mourn no more:

"Children of the world, look toward the light. Raise your eyes to all that is goodness. I come to you with joy and celebration. The time for mourning is past because God has taken His children back to His breast, never to be parted."

Lay apostles, let us celebrate all the Lord has blessed us with. We are surrounded by love always. God IS Love. He never leaves our side. Even in our darkest (or scariest) times, He is there to comfort if we only let Him. 

Thank you, Lord, for healing our baby girl Savannah. Please continue to protect her and our three grandsons so they grow up to live lives of faith and love of You.  

God bless,

Bonnie

Lent Day 2 - Rejection

The political atmosphere we encompass daily now is a barrage of negativity and, yes, fake news. Why are the people being paraded across social media so angry and violent? It has grown into brutal verbal and even physical attacks if one side doesn't agree with the other. In order to recoup my peace, I am finding the need to disconnect from the chaos (at least for an hour or so!) and focus on Jesus. As I read today's Gospel, the word "rejection" jumped out at me. I began thinking about the people "rejecting" our President and his desire to fix America. This question popped into my head: How do I act when I'm rejected? I'm hurt, I'm sad, or I'm annoyed. But through my faith (and with age), I have learned to subdue the pangs of rejection through prayer and thanksgiving for all the love that surrounds me.  There are many wounded people whose only recourse for their candidate losing the election is to make others feel as bad as they do. It's as if they themselves have been rejected. Many don't have Jesus to navigate out of the spiraling negativity. Many don't even have parents, a spouse, a significant other . . . someone to help ease the pain and confusion. The Son of Man endured rejection and He was Perfect, so why wouldn't His Words lead us in the right direction? There is Light at the end of the tunnel. And Jesus, the Most Experienced One, advises us in the Gospel (Luke 9:22-25) today:

Jesus said to his disciples: "The Son of Man must suffer greatly and be rejected by the elders, the chief priests, and the scribes,
and be killed and on the third day be raised."

Then he said to all, "If anyone wishes to come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it. What profit is there for one to gain the whole world yet lose or forfeit himself?"

In Anne a lay apostle's book Lessons in Love, she beautifully illustrates how Our Lord's unconditional love for His Children should inspire us to follow in His Footsteps:

"The greater the love we feel for others, the greater the craving for a reciprocal response of love. Our craving does not ensure that we will receive that which we crave, any more than the Lord’s craving for love from each man is satisfied. Happily, Jesus teaches us as much in rejection as He teaches us in acceptance, that is, the experience of rejection, being so consistent with the ongoing experience of Jesus Christ by humanity, enables us to further identify with the crucified Christ. When the Lord suffered Calvary, He suffered or experienced near-total rejection. This was His experience of it in His humanity, even though we know that not all mankind rejects Christ. Did this cause Him to return rejection or abandon His love for us? No. On the contrary, in the acceptance of those who rejected Him, Jesus set an example of heavenly and unconditional love. Jesus’ acceptance of the rejection of others in no way diminished His craving for the love of humanity. He craved love in both His humanity and His divinity until the moment of His death. He continues to crave our love and safety. The more we possess Christ, the more we recognize Christ and love Him in others."

Lay apostles, contemplate the Gospel today and remember how Jesus handled life's difficulties. Strive for unconditional love in every situation. As hard as that is to do at times, we should always attempt it when the opportunity arises! Remember, WWJD?

Thank you, Lord, for all the lessons in the Gospels. The are the salve to my pain and the icing on my cake!

God bless,
Bonnie

Monthly Message - March

We continue our cycle of monthly messages for 2017 with the message from March 1, 2009 for our prayer groups and personal reflection.

March 1, 2009

Jesus

My children, your work stretches out before you. How many serve? How many resist My will for them? When you consider others who do not seem to be serving Me, I want you to turn your face away. I want you to consider only My will for you in a given moment. This will protect you from many temptations. You can answer Me with simplicity when I ask you at the end of the day, “Have you served Me well today? ”You can simply say, “Yes, Lord. I have done My best.” Then you can lay down your worries and rest. Beloved apostles of God, do not be distracted by others. I know this is hard for you. I know that others can cause you upset. But if you consider how I have asked you to experience others, you will do better. I want you to view those around you as pilgrims journeying toward Me. That is what you are, after all. Can you deny others the need to move gradually to perfection when you, yourself are doing the same? You are involved in a process which means that you remain imperfect. Why would it be different for those around you? You have come to trust My loving compassion, My forgiveness and My uninterrupted affection. That is because you have come to know Me. If others do not know Me as well as you do, they will trust Me less. If they trust Me less, they will experience fear and this will cause them difficulty which moves out from the fear to greater and greater pain. If My apostles will accept that fear of being unloved is the source of great pain for others, My apostles will view the mistakes of others with compassion, as I do. Yes, the pain of humanity can only be remedied by loving compassion. This is why you are sent out by Me. You move into the world with heaven’s healing compassion. My apostles, perhaps you do not feel this compassion from others. Perhaps you feel that you are in need of compassion and find only condemnation. I make two remarks about this. One, please be willing to ask for understanding from other holy apostles and then accept what they offer to you in humility. Next, ask Me if I am judging you. Ask Me if I view you harshly. You know that I do not. I am pleased with whatever you offer Me in terms of fidelity and service. I am pleased with whatever you give to Me in terms of prayer and silence. I work so well in your little soul when you allow Me. I feel the greatest compassion for you. I am happy with your efforts to be holy and to love those around you. I rejoice in you. I rejoice in your commitment to Me. I urge you today in the most serious way to trust Me and trust in My plan for you.

Children of Mexico International

Good morning lay apostles! Today is Ash Wednesday and what better time to contemplate how to use the gifts God has blessed you with than to contribute time/money/prayers to a beautiful mission I learned about when writing my first book, Heavenly Healing. Margarita Fajardo gave her testimony for my book and her story was inspirational. She is one of the most humble servants of Christ I have been given the blessing of knowing. Here is a quick overview of her mission from their website:

The Children of Mexico International Story

On one of her many trips to Guadalajara, Mexico, California native and seasoned speech pathologist, Margarita Fajardo, had a life-altering experience when she visited an orphanage and met a young girl named Conchita. Conchita, born with cerebral palsy, was abandoned at the city dump.

Fortunately, a garbage collector found her and she was then given a home along with 19 other disabled children and young adults at a home called “Bienaventurados de Jesus.” The following year Margarita returned, bringing with her more therapists and equipment to help improve the lives of all the children thereby enhancing their communication skills. Thus, Children of Mexico International was created.

If you are interested in helping Margarita and her team, you can reach her at Tel: (650) 784 6092 or email: childrenofmex@gmail.com.

Click on this link to download the Application to join this beautiful mission here: https://www.childrenofmex.org/apply

God bless,
Bonnie

Ash Wednesday 2017 - What is Your Word?

My husband Jay, my sister Diane and I attended a Catholic seminar with Jeff Cavins a few weeks ago . . . a dynamic speaker with a great sense of humor! My sister had experienced Jeff's Great Bible Adventure series years ago and raved her knowledge of the Bible grew into a yearning to learn more about our faith and Our God. There were so many "pearls" we walked away with that day, one of them being his recommendation to read the daily Gospel, decipher what word jumped out at you, write it down and contemplate what God is trying to teach you with that word. Part of my Lenten journey is to put this into practice. So today, the word jumping out at me is "hypocrites." As I sat to contemplate this word, immediately my thoughts went to my loved ones. How many times do I pray they become holier? That they love Jesus and demonstrate it in their actions? I'm thinking Jesus needed me to see where I was being hypocritical in thinking I know what they lack and where they need to improve! I can only control my own holiness journey. I am not walking in anyone else's shoes but my own. The word hypocrite today means, for me, to pray more . . . and to focus on my own journey toward eternity.

In today's Gospel (Matthew 6:1-6, 16-18), Jesus is very clear . . . the internal journey toward salvation is what He asks us to concentrate on:

Jesus said to his disciples: "Take care not to perform righteous deeds in order that people may see them; otherwise, you will have no recompense from your heavenly Father. When you give alms, do not blow a trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets to win the praise of others. Amen, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you give alms, do not let your left hand know what your right is doing, so that your almsgiving may be secret. And your Father who sees in secret will repay you.

"When you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, who love to stand and pray in the synagogues and on street corners so that others may see them. Amen, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you pray, go to your inner room, close the door, and pray to your Father in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will repay you.

"When you fast, do not look gloomy like the hypocrites. They neglect their appearance, so that they may appear to others to be fasting. Amen, I say to you, they have received their reward.
But when you fast, anoint your head and wash your face, so that you may not appear to be fasting, except to your Father who is hidden. And your Father who sees what is hidden will repay you."

The quote below from Anne a lay apostle's book Lessons in Love connected the Gospel and my "word" perfectly, further defining my contemplation:

"Jesus will connect the one who seeks Him to holy fellowship when the time is right and persuade the searcher that while all Christians are human, all Christians are not hypocrites. This strategy for truly understanding what one is rejecting, seeks Christ in three ways: in Holy Scripture, in the Eucharist and ongoing life of the Church, and in other faithful Christians. These are good places to look for Jesus because He truly lives and ministers to us from these three places each day if we seek Him. What is the Lord’s experience of this time? I believe

that the Lord sees many of His children living outside of the safety of His Church and He is sorrowful. Why is He sorrowful? Is it because Jesus wants to control people? Is it because Jesus wants to be justified and powerful? Is He concerned about His glory? Hardly. Jesus is sorrowful because He wants to provide safety for His children and He cannot protect us when we reject Him. I believe that the Lord sees the spiritual and emotional and even physical danger of life lived in rebellion and He mourns our denial of these realities. What will help? Do we need more people preaching the Gospel? Yes. We do. At once. We need more truth tellers and fewer hypocritical representations of Christ. Do we need those preaching the Gospel to be humble? Yes. We require an increase in humility and a decrease in arrogance. The fact that those living in rebellion can be aggressive and hurtful is no excuse for us to respond with aggression and hurtfulness. We are called to be different. We should be different. Do we need greater obedience to the Magisterium of the Church? Yes. Only God knows how damaging the level of disobedience has been. Those serving in the Church who openly reject the teaching of the Church are hurting the Lord’s cause terribly. We are called to put on the mind of Christ, not the mind of the world. We just cannot all be leaders. Some of us have to follow. That is the point of the whole exercise ... to follow Christ as He manifests Himself through the teachings of the Church. Do we need more prayer? Yes. This is a compelling need for every Catholic. Less talk, more listening to heaven. We need all kinds of prayer in our days. If we learn to pray, we will learn to listen to the Holy Spirit and serve as He wills, not as we will."

Lay apostles, how are you planning to grow closer to Our Lord this Lent? What has worked for you in the past? I love suggestions on increasing holiness! I am excited to get back on track with writing my daily blog and contemplating the "word" Jesus is trying to highlight to open my heart and mind to what He wants for me!

Thank you, Lord, for all the beautiful men and women You have brought into my life to educate and enrich my spiritual journey.

God bless,

Bonnie

The Power of God

It never fails. When things seem to be going smoothly, evil will, in all likelihood, cause a hiccup! And the hiccup always has to do with another's behavior in opposition of my core beliefs. There is appropriate behavior which I may not be in agreement with, but I respect because we are all individuals with our own way of doing things. Then there is inappropriate behavior . . . behaviors I avoid at all costs. When they are demonstrated right before my eyes, my immediate thought is "SERIOUSLY?" But then the Good Lord steps in to calm me down. All I have to do is start writing my blog post for the day and He always sends the calm I need. There will always be those demonstrating inappropriate behavior as in the parable from the Gospel today (Mark 12:1-12). Jesus can only do so much with me . . . it's my free will I am in control of and in need of remembering to focus on Him when others try to disrupt my peace:

Jesus began to speak to the chief priests, the scribes, and the elders in parables. “A man planted a vineyard, put a hedge around it, dug a wine press, and built a tower. Then he leased it to tenant farmers and left on a journey. At the proper time he sent a servant to the tenants to obtain from them some of the produce of the vineyard. But they seized him, beat him, and sent him away empty-handed. Again he sent them another servant. And that one they beat over the head and treated shamefully. He sent yet another whom they killed. So, too, many others; some they beat, others they killed. He had one other to send, a beloved son. He sent him to them last of all, thinking, ‘They will respect my son.’ But those tenants said to one another, ‘This is the heir. Come, let us kill him, and the inheritance will be ours.’ So they seized him and killed him, and threw him out of the vineyard. What then will the owner of the vineyard do? He will come, put the tenants to death, and give the vineyard to others. Have you not read this Scripture passage:

The stone that the builders rejected has become the cornerstone; by the Lord has this been done, and it is wonderful in our eyes?”

They were seeking to arrest him, but they feared the crowd, for they realized that he had addressed the parable to them. So they left him and went away.

In Anne a lay apostle's book The Mist of Mercy, her point is eloquently made . . . there is always going to be disruption in our lives . . . it's how we handle it that matters:

"During periods of duress, it is important that we be very gentle with ourselves. We must not condemn ourselves or judge ourselves more harshly than the Lord judges us. The enemy delights when we think, poor me. I’m not holy enough. Surely the Lord should cast me out of the family. Surely the Lord can do without the service of one who fails as I have just failed. We will all fail. We will at times lose patience with others. We will also, at times, mistakenly take the bait from the enemy and be drawn into upset and disorder. There are times when we will be the cause of the upset and disorder. But to beat ourselves up over failures is to prolong the enemy’s influence. Jesus has no need of perfect apostles or He would have created some. He needs us, in all of our imperfection. And He needs us to be humble so we must rejoice when we experience our humanity. If nothing else, mistakes remind us that Christ is King and we are not. Remember, too, that Jesus allows attacks. The devil has no power that Christ does not allow him. Jesus allows us to experience spiritual warfare so that we can grow in holiness and trust. With regard to spiritual warfare, my spiritual director often says, “Expect it. Count on it. See it coming.” We must expect resistance and become adept at weathering storms. It is terrifically helpful to have humility. Ask God for humility each day as without it you will be vulnerable. It is a standing joke in our family that a request to heaven for humility is usually answered within minutes. If you lack humility, my friends, you will inevitably land on your backside. In fairness, we all land like that at times. Our humanity guarantees it. Be assured though, that a lack of humility insures a far more painful
landing."

Lay apostles, spiritual warfare is all around us. Today, take it for what it is . . . evil trying to disrupt our peace. Focus on Christ and His Will. Please Him in every reaction, every word coming from your mouth. When I practice this way of thinking (and I am far from perfect in doing this!), things seem to blow over much quicker! The power of God and His Mercy are abundant!

Thank you, Lord, for all the comfort and protection You give me in times of angst.

God bless,
Bonnie

God's Love Flows Through Us

Happy New Year 2017! Hard to believe so much time has elapsed since my last post. Life has been busy, wonderful, challenging, miraculous and a list of many other adjectives I could formulate in my head! If you follow me on Twitter (@bonnieyoung22), you know my joy and excitement for the results of the presidential election (#MAGA!!!). For me, it was all about pro-life agendas, retaining our religious liberties, the appointment of conservative Supreme Court Justices to uphold the law, and a president who is pro-America. I truly believe there were so many people praying for President-elect Donald J. Trump to win, the Good Lord decided to give us a miracle! The power of prayer hopefully has been restored in many who have put it on the back burner. God IS mightier than those who oppose Him . . . we must never forget that. God's Love flows through us if we allow it to. And, we must give it freely . . . even to those who allow evil to reign in their lives. If we stop the flow of God's love and replace it with revenge, hatred, or bitterness, how will the recipient ever see the beauty of faith in our Mighty God? Let it begin with me!

Today's Gospel (Mark 1:7-11) makes one thing clear . . . God is in control:

This is what John the Baptist proclaimed: "One mightier than I is coming after me.  I am not worthy to stoop and loosen the thongs of his sandals.  I have baptized you with water; he will baptize you with the Holy Spirit."

It happened in those days that Jesus came from Nazareth of Galilee and was baptized in the Jordan by John.  On coming up out of the water he saw the heavens being torn open and the Spirit, like a dove, descending upon him.  And a voice came from the heavens, "You are my beloved Son; with you I am well pleased."

In Anne a lay apostle's book Whispers From the Cross, she beautifully illustrates God's power within each of us:

"There are days when the work we do for God is so steady that we do not look around. We serve without interruption, giving little thought to the bigger canvas on which God uses us to paint His story of renewal.

Sometimes we work very hard for long periods and during these periods God gives us all that we need to persist in His service. We have, during these periods of intensive service, little time to examine why we are serving God or what else we could be doing. We simply work. All is well. During these periods, God often withholds temptations of the more sublime variety, the “Do I really want to remain on this current course?” temptations. We barrel through the work, and God flows through us mightily even though we can be largely unaware of this. After a time, we get tired. Then comes a natural break. This can come in the form of an in-between period, or it is a time-off period. Perhaps we suffer with illness or a transition of service occurs. At those times, the floodgates can open.

God then allows us to struggle with the temptations necessary to secure our future service. The story with holiness, while written in the present, is concluded in the future. In other words, the end of the story is directly correlated to the action of the present. What will the end look like? That depends on what we choose today. The struggle we all experience of revulsion for the work that God wills for us is part of the work."

Lay apostles, what are you going to do differently in 2017? For me, I will, to the best of my ability, write more; love unconditionally (yes, I really try to pray for HRC!); be a better wife, mother, Mimi, sister, aunt and friend. I am so imperfect. But if I allow God to flow through me to others, His Divine Plan can continue to move forward in my life and the lives of those I love and come in contact with.

Thank you, Lord, for the reminder of the power of prayer. Help me to come to You first always!

God bless,
Bonnie