Collecting testimonies for my first book Heavenly Healing sometimes consisted of two to three-hour telephone conversations. Each lay apostle graciously opened their lives to a total stranger. I cried with some, laughed with some. It was such an honor to speak with others who were touched by the apostolate. The Gospel today (Mark 7:1-13) reminded me of one of those three-hour conversations. I knew it was going to be a long call when within the first 5 minutes she disclosed her struggle with bipolar disorder. Just like my mother (dx of bipolar), this woman loved to talk! She imparted a realization that really struck me . . . before she began reading the Volumes, she would walk into her church looking very pious on the outside. But on the inside, everything was scrambled. She thought if she appeared a certain way, no one would know about her mental illness. No one would judge her. She actually convinced herself she was a much better Catholic than all the others because she carried a Rosary in her hand. Life in the privacy of her own home was chaotic. Reading the Volumes made her realize He loves us all, no matter what we suffer from. We are human. She learned, with the best of her ability, to make the inside match the outside. And, avoid judging others who appeared unholy to her. Accepting our flaws, weaknesses, and crosses is a harsh reality. The kicker is to understand God accepts us, warts and all. Each of us is on our own unique journey. We suffer/carry crosses unknown, at times, to those we love and interact with on a daily basis. Unite your suffering to Christ's Passion . . . stop worrying about what others think.
Today, Jesus asks us to stay focused and release our human tendencies of automatic judgment:
When the Pharisees with some scribes who had come from Jerusalem gathered around Jesus, they observed that some of his disciples ate their meals with unclean, that is, unwashed, hands. (For the Pharisees and, in fact, all Jews, do not eat without carefully washing their hands, keeping the tradition of the elders. And on coming from the marketplace they do not eat without purifying themselves. And there are many other things that they have traditionally observed, the purification of cups and jugs and kettles and beds.) So the Pharisees and scribes questioned him, “Why do your disciples not follow the tradition of the elders but instead eat a meal with unclean hands?” He responded, “Well did Isaiah prophesy about you hypocrites, as it is written:
This people honors me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me; in vain do they worship me, teaching as doctrines human precepts.
You disregard God’s commandment but cling to human tradition.” He went on to say, “How well you have set aside the commandment of God in order to uphold your tradition! For Moses said, Honor your father and your mother, and Whoever curses father or mother shall die. Yet you say, ‘If someone says to father or mother, “Any support you might have had from me is qorban”’ (meaning, dedicated to God), you allow him to do nothing more for his father or mother. You nullify the word of God in favor of your tradition that you have handed on. And you do many such things.”
In the Monthly Message from February 2011, Jesus reminds us not to compare ourselves to others as we are each unique:
"Dearest apostles, I am here, waiting to listen to your pleas. I hear your hearts as they groan in the loneliness of serving Heaven when others around you do not. You serve alongside those who either live according to the standards of the world or live serving out a call that is different from yours. Truly, I know that there are times when you wonder why I have placed you where I have placed you. I hope, dear apostles, that these times are brief. I hope that you will spend less time wondering why you are serving in a given role and more time wondering how to serve more completely in the role given to you. You see, comparisons to others will never bear fruit. You are unique. The work I have for you is unique and you must beware of the habit of dragging your vocation behind you as though it were something so heavy that it destroys your joy. This is not how an apostle lives out a vocation. An apostle views his vocation as a prism through which opportunities for holiness and joy splash out in countless beautiful and varied ways. Truly, others should view you and your vocation as inseparable. You should become your vocation. Oh dear apostles, I know that you carry crosses associated with your holy vocations, but do you not see that these crosses, carried with dignity, illustrate my presence in your life and indeed, in the world, more than anything else? In every circumstance, I bless you and receive you into my heart where you find the direction and reassurance you require. In every moment there is grace available for you and for others through you. The more grace I flow through you, the more the world is blessed and the more you are sanctified. Move toward me, closer and closer in your hearts and in your actions and, truly, the world will find the love it craves. Look at how God’s children drink in kindness, as though they were parched for want of it. Yes, you are sacrificing in order to answer my call but the plan is working and the world is being renewed through the efforts of all men of good will. Rejoice then, despite your cross. We are advancing the one righteous cause, that is, the cause of love."
Lay apostles, I have been there before. Living a life which looks happy and carefree on the outside when I felt trapped on the inside. So how did I finally escape the secrets? I began by going to Confession the day I first saw Anne a lay apostle speak. Then, by slowly detaching from those judging me. Next, by realizing as long as I am making Jesus smile, all the others didn't matter. And finally, by speaking about what was hidden from my past to others . . . one on one, in a group, on this blog, at work. The freedom derived from being an open book is nothing other than miraculous.
Thank you, Lord, for protecting me as my true self is being revealed. And, for showing me those who truly love me don't care about my mistakes.
God bless,
Bonnie
Today, Jesus asks us to stay focused and release our human tendencies of automatic judgment:
When the Pharisees with some scribes who had come from Jerusalem gathered around Jesus, they observed that some of his disciples ate their meals with unclean, that is, unwashed, hands. (For the Pharisees and, in fact, all Jews, do not eat without carefully washing their hands, keeping the tradition of the elders. And on coming from the marketplace they do not eat without purifying themselves. And there are many other things that they have traditionally observed, the purification of cups and jugs and kettles and beds.) So the Pharisees and scribes questioned him, “Why do your disciples not follow the tradition of the elders but instead eat a meal with unclean hands?” He responded, “Well did Isaiah prophesy about you hypocrites, as it is written:
This people honors me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me; in vain do they worship me, teaching as doctrines human precepts.
You disregard God’s commandment but cling to human tradition.” He went on to say, “How well you have set aside the commandment of God in order to uphold your tradition! For Moses said, Honor your father and your mother, and Whoever curses father or mother shall die. Yet you say, ‘If someone says to father or mother, “Any support you might have had from me is qorban”’ (meaning, dedicated to God), you allow him to do nothing more for his father or mother. You nullify the word of God in favor of your tradition that you have handed on. And you do many such things.”
In the Monthly Message from February 2011, Jesus reminds us not to compare ourselves to others as we are each unique:
"Dearest apostles, I am here, waiting to listen to your pleas. I hear your hearts as they groan in the loneliness of serving Heaven when others around you do not. You serve alongside those who either live according to the standards of the world or live serving out a call that is different from yours. Truly, I know that there are times when you wonder why I have placed you where I have placed you. I hope, dear apostles, that these times are brief. I hope that you will spend less time wondering why you are serving in a given role and more time wondering how to serve more completely in the role given to you. You see, comparisons to others will never bear fruit. You are unique. The work I have for you is unique and you must beware of the habit of dragging your vocation behind you as though it were something so heavy that it destroys your joy. This is not how an apostle lives out a vocation. An apostle views his vocation as a prism through which opportunities for holiness and joy splash out in countless beautiful and varied ways. Truly, others should view you and your vocation as inseparable. You should become your vocation. Oh dear apostles, I know that you carry crosses associated with your holy vocations, but do you not see that these crosses, carried with dignity, illustrate my presence in your life and indeed, in the world, more than anything else? In every circumstance, I bless you and receive you into my heart where you find the direction and reassurance you require. In every moment there is grace available for you and for others through you. The more grace I flow through you, the more the world is blessed and the more you are sanctified. Move toward me, closer and closer in your hearts and in your actions and, truly, the world will find the love it craves. Look at how God’s children drink in kindness, as though they were parched for want of it. Yes, you are sacrificing in order to answer my call but the plan is working and the world is being renewed through the efforts of all men of good will. Rejoice then, despite your cross. We are advancing the one righteous cause, that is, the cause of love."
Lay apostles, I have been there before. Living a life which looks happy and carefree on the outside when I felt trapped on the inside. So how did I finally escape the secrets? I began by going to Confession the day I first saw Anne a lay apostle speak. Then, by slowly detaching from those judging me. Next, by realizing as long as I am making Jesus smile, all the others didn't matter. And finally, by speaking about what was hidden from my past to others . . . one on one, in a group, on this blog, at work. The freedom derived from being an open book is nothing other than miraculous.
Thank you, Lord, for protecting me as my true self is being revealed. And, for showing me those who truly love me don't care about my mistakes.
God bless,
Bonnie
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