Friday, March 31, 2017

Lent Day 31 - Secret

I haven't let the thoughts of others get to me for a while. A few years ago a situation arose unexpectedly, throwing me for a loop. I had been put in a leadership role, inviting others to help successfully execute the task. At first, everyone was on board and wanted to help. Soon it became apparent one person realized she wasn't in control of the event. And so it began. Negativity came first. Then subtle threats of disruption and secretly making comments behind my back to the other players in the group (who happened to be my good friends). Quite frankly, I wasn't surprised. My gut when first inviting this person to join the team was outright hesitancy. But, she knew the ropes in this area and I thought I could make it would work. The moment I realized her cooperation going south, I took myself out of the communication role with her as I continued to lead the team. I can't say I wasn't angry or disappointed. But Jay quickly reminded me (after I warned him I was going to react as a human first, then calmer to react as a lay apostle!) exactly Who was in control of this project. We so quickly forget Christ is ever present with us and responsible for outcomes we may not have anticipated. The project ended up being canceled, which was a blessing in disguise. His timing, not mine.

The Gospel today (John 7:1-2, 10, 25-30) shows us the faith Jesus had in God, not fearing the thoughts of others:

Jesus moved about within Galilee; he did not wish to travel in Judea,
because the Jews were trying to kill him. But the Jewish feast of Tabernacles was near.

But when his brothers had gone up to the feast, he himself also went up, not openly but as it were in secret.

Some of the inhabitants of Jerusalem said, "Is he not the one they are trying to kill? And look, he is speaking openly and they say nothing to him. Could the authorities have realized that he is the Christ? But we know where he is from. When the Christ comes, no one will know where he is from." So Jesus cried out in the temple area as he was teaching and said, "You know me and also know where I am from. Yet I did not come on my own, but the one who sent me, whom you do not know, is true. I know him, because I am from him, and he sent me." So they tried to arrest him, but no one laid a hand upon him, because his hour had not yet come.

The beauty of the quote below from Anne in her book Staying in Place is . . . there is no secret we can keep from God, and our motives must be fixed on Him:

"Jesus also showed me Himself as He travelled to the place of His death. I saw the condemnation, the irrational and seemingly unlimited hatred. (Hatred is always limited in power because it can only end in destruction and death. Whereas love is unlimited in power because it sparks continual life, growth and transformation.) Jesus showed me this in order to help me navigate something in my own life but I saw that He had the power, through the Father, to stop the whole thing. He could have easily showed all of His tormentors the truth about themselves. With words full of power and truth, He could have shown He was God by revealing to them each one secret truth that only God could know. There were ways He could have avoided the Crucifixion. But He overcame that part of His nature. He quashed it. He remained fixed in His humanity, driven by a Spirit which colluded only with the Father. The Trinity had been given complete dominion in the Lord’s humanity so He was like a person with blinders on. In a sense He allowed the hatred, abuse and viciousness to drive Him further and further into love and the Father’s will. He KNEW the Father’s love and there was no choice for Him to make of desisting from the path. Therefore, He cast Himself into the role of the Crucified One with no out. He allowed Himself no opting out of the experience. The fullness of the suffering was taken with exactitude. Had he lived through it in His humanity, would He later have asked Himself, “Why did I allow them to do this to Me?”

No. He did it for love of His Father and His Father’s children, all of whom He considers His brothers and sisters and all of whom He considers as indispensable to the loving creation of the Father that is humanity."

Lay apostles, there are going to be times we are tempted toward anger . . . when things don't work out the way we want them to. Instead of looking at a situation with a worldly view, look with a heavenly view. Understand the driving force behind events. Things may go adrift because the outcome isn't what He would want. Most importantly, ignore the thoughts/secrets of others who condemn. He sees us and our intentions as they truly are. It really is all that matters.

Thank you, Lord, for your calming peace and understanding when things become difficult. I couldn't do it without You!

God bless,
Bonnie

Thursday, March 30, 2017

Stations of the Cross - from Anne a lay apostle

Stations of the Cross from the book Whispers from the Cross.

1st Station- Jesus is condemned

The condemnation of Christ was anticipated and was part, perhaps the greatest part, of God’s plan for Jesus and for us. Tabor and Calvary. Transfiguration and Crucifixion. Both woven into the tapestry of the life of the Blameless One. Jesus was unjustly judged and condemned. When we share that experience, we must accept it quietly, like Christ.

2nd Station- Jesus accepts his cross

Accepting the cross is not a momentary action without consequences. It is a doorway through which we walk, entering an ongoing experience of Calvary as one who follows Christ.

3rd Station- Jesus falls the first time

Life throws us to the ground, whether through our own failures or the failures of others. This should not discourage us, even though discouragement accompanies the experience. Sometimes, even in the same day, following Christ requires a series of decisions to rise and continue on.

4th Station- Jesus meets his mother

Often our pain is increased by the reaction of others to our suffering. This painful prism of misunderstanding is another facet of the cross and should be viewed as such. Our Blessed Mother understands our pain perfectly, and,  just as she never left her Son, she will never leave us.

5th Station- Simon helps Jesus

We resemble Christ when we move to assist another who struggles to manage a cross and Christ Himself is pleased when we humble ourselves and accept the help of others.

6th Station- Veronica wipes the face of Jesus

We are prompted through charity and mercy to help others. Others are blessed and consoled. And we take away with us the imprint of God’s goodness flowing through us, conforming us more completely to Jesus as He makes His way into the world.

7th Station- Jesus falls the second time

Oh sad disappointment! More pain. Still, the journey remains incomplete. Must we continue? We rise and return to the cross, to the plan unfulfilled.

8th Station- Jesus consoles the women of Jerusalem

Pity the women who share the dreadful concern of Mary for the children of God. Each person is someone’s child and holds the hopes and prayers of a mother that the world will be gentle and kind. Oh Jesus, give us your mercy for others.

9th Station- Jesus falls the third time

The commitment is to the death. The Collapsed knows only that life remains and, as such, must be offered until it is exhausted. Up. Onward. God will sustain. Let the Spirit drive us forward.

10th Station- Jesus is stripped of His garments

How sublime is the offering of standing naked before those who hate us and yet, in some way, less cruel than standing stripped before those who love us. Oh Jesus, give us the trust to endure all humiliation with confidence in the ultimate triumph of God’s love.

11th Station- Jesus is nailed to the Cross

Agony and relief. Total commitment leaves less room for question. We ask not ‘if ’ anymore. We ask simply, ‘how’, moment by moment in life’s anguish.

12th Station- Jesus dies on the Cross

Perseverance is the jewel of all jewels. Do not doubt the triumph. Do not back away from the course.

13th Station- Jesus is laid in the arms of His Mother

Quiet at last. A grief complete, but pregnant with joy. Humanity endures total stillness, even while time awaits the birth of all hope, the triumph of triumphs.

14th Station- Jesus is laid in the tomb

The body is reposed and the life is concluded, returned to timelessness once again.

Oh Jesus, help us to remember that the opportunity to serve you on earth will end. Give us the grace to be laid to rest after a life of offering, knowing that on each day we recognized you as our beloved King and lived, to the best of our ability, our allegiance to the Father. Give us the power of the Holy Spirit that we may continue to love in every circumstance life presents. Amen

Lent Day 30 - Accept

His melanoma had been diagnosed in 2004; surgery on his upper back left a gaping hole as if he had been blasted in the back with a cannonball. My father was pretty upset after the surgery . . . mad he allowed my sister and I to convince him to have the melanoma removed. When a new lesion was found and diagnosed as malignant metastatic melanoma on his leg early 2005, he was in complete denial. The results of the PET scan came on my birthday. My father's cancer had metastasized to his brain, lungs, and bones. Having forced my father to have this scan done, he blew off the results. "Doctors are only out to make money," he would say. This was in April 2005. By September, he was living in my home, completely wheelchair bound. A few weeks before his death in January 2006, he asked me if he would be in his own apartment again. This was an important moment for my dad and me . . . he knew he would get the full, unedited truth from me . . . no sugarcoating. Finally, at the end, he was ready to accept the truth. I told him no, he would be spending the rest of his days with me. I promised him I would be by his side the entire time. He quietly said "OK" and we continued to discuss the Super Bowl. There comes a time, hopefully sooner rather than later, we all need to accept the truth. Truth in our human condition. Truth in what Sacred Scripture tells us. Truth in what the Volumes reveal.

In today's Gospel (John 5:31-47), Jesus asks us to accept the Truth:

Jesus said to the Jews:  “If I testify on my own behalf, my testimony is not true. But there is another who testifies on my behalf, and I know that the testimony he gives on my behalf is true. You sent emissaries to John, and he testified to the truth. I do not accept human testimony, but I say this so that you may be saved. He was a burning and shining lamp, and for a while you were content to rejoice in his light. But I have testimony greater than John’s. The works that the Father gave me to accomplish, these works that I perform testify on my behalf that the Father has sent me. Moreover, the Father who sent me has testified on my behalf. But you have never heard his voice nor seen his form, and you do not have his word remaining in you, because you do not believe in the one whom he has sent. You search the Scriptures, because you think you have eternal life through them; even they testify on my behalf. But you do not want to come to me to have life.

“I do not accept human praise; moreover, I know that you do not have the love of God in you.  I came in the name of my Father, but you do not accept me; yet if another comes in his own name, you will accept him. How can you believe, when you accept praise from one another and do not seek the praise that comes from the only God? Do not think that I will accuse you before the Father: the one who will accuse you is Moses, in whom you have placed your hope. For if you had believed Moses, you would have believed me, because he wrote about me.  But if you do not believe his writings, how will you believe my words?”

In Anne's book Staying in Place, the following quote is clear . . . understanding Christ allows us to accept our own truth:

"Clearly, love is different from what people initially think when they hear the word. Love is vaster. Love demands a response and an honest acknowledgement of both frailty and vulnerability. We love with hearts that have been broken or with hearts that will be broken. Christ’s heart was broken at falseness, inconsistency and betrayal. We want to be as faithful as Christ was in our love for God in each other. But we must accept that we will fall short. If we have a full grasp of our teachings, we can negotiate our weaknesses, always striving for growth. But without each vocation integrating the teachings actively and ‘out loud’, so to speak, nobody really knows what this Christianity of ours is supposed to look like."

Lay apostles, have you accepted the Truth? Do you believe what you read in Sacred Scripture or do you look at it as the ramblings of a distant past? Read the Volumes to help you make sense of it all. The Gospel will begin to resonate deep within instead of in one ear and out the other.

Thank you, Lord, for Your Words in the Volumes.  They have made the Bible come alive for me.

God bless,
Bonnie

Wednesday, March 29, 2017

Lent Day 29 - Work

Today is a "Mimi day" as my grandson Colton calls it. Every Wednesday I work from home. Around noon, I pick up Colt and Savannah from preschool and the afternoon is usually filled with building the bullet train track with Colt, playing Barbies with Savannah, swinging on the swingset in the backyard and a multitude of other activities they may be in the mood for! As I sit here with them both on my bed while they watch Thomas the Train on my iPad, I am feeling overwhelmed with God's graces. I feel so grateful . . . grateful for the gift of grandchildren I love so dearly; grateful for the ability to work from home when I need to; and especially grateful today for a loving husband who understands and appreciates the importance of having this special time with the kids every week. The work we do to support ourselves, our families and our faith communities, when done in honor of Christ, allows His Love to flow through us to those He has chosen to place in our path. 

In the Gospel today (John 5:17-30), Jesus demonstrates the importance of focusing on our work in honor of Him:

Jesus answered the Jews: "My Father is at work until now, so I am at work." For this reason they tried all the more to kill him, because he not only broke the sabbath but he also called God his own father, making himself equal to God.

Jesus answered and said to them, "Amen, amen, I say to you, the Son cannot do anything on his own, but only what he sees the Father doing; for what he does, the Son will do also. For the Father loves the Son and shows him everything that he himself does, and he will show him greater works than these, so that you may be amazed. For just as the Father raises the dead and gives life, so also does the Son give life to whomever he wishes. Nor does the Father judge anyone, but he has given all judgment to the Son, so that all may honor the Son just as they honor the Father. Whoever does not honor the Son does not honor the Father who sent him. Amen, amen, I say to you, whoever hears my word and believes in the one who sent me has eternal life and will not come to condemnation, but has passed from death to life. Amen, amen, I say to you, the hour is coming and is now here when the dead will hear the voice of the Son of God, and those who hear will live. For just as the Father has life in himself, so also he gave to the Son the possession of life in himself. And he gave him power to exercise judgment, because he is the Son of Man. Do not be amazed at this, because the hour is coming in which all who are in the tombs will hear his voice and will come out, those who have done good deeds to the resurrection of life, but those who have done wicked deeds to the resurrection of condemnation.

"I cannot do anything on my own; I judge as I hear, and my judgment is just, because I do not seek my own will but the will of the one who sent me."

In Anne a lay apostle's book Staying in Place, she leads us to understand our work benefitting others will ultimately draw us closer to Christ:

"The most severe temptations will not sway us if we focus on our work, studying people’s pain and asking ourselves where love wants to go in the moment. The inevitable ups and downs of our experience as Catholics in the Church will not shake our resolve because we do not stare into the Church demanding something but stare into the people around us offering something. The sacramental graces of the Church sustain us along with our relationship with Christ in the Eucharist. Contemplation of people and their wounds will inspire us to give generously of all that we have."

Lay apostles, how do you approach your daily work? With dread or with joy? With love or with hostility? As Anne says in the above quote, remember people God places in our lives are wounded too . . . approach them with Jesus in mind. Follow the Lord's path with the same joy in service.

Thank you, Lord, for allowing me to continue to learn how to work harder at loving others and striving to be the light You designed me to shine.

God bless,
Bonnie






Tuesday, March 28, 2017

Lent Day 28 - Persecute

Jay enjoys ticker symbols racing across the TV in our commercial real estate office. He keeps CNBC on silent to be able to glance up once in a while to see how our stocks are performing. Personally, keeping this #FakeNews station on annoys me once in awhile when all I see is negative headlines regarding our patriotic President! President Trump suffers so much persecution from the biased, flagrant media. But then, it's the standard nowadays, isn't it? Thank God he doesn't seem fazed by any of it and continues his mission of Making America Great Again!

There has always been persecution . . . the most prominent being Christ. The more I think about this, the more unruffled I feel. If people insisted on murdering the Son of God, what makes me think anyone is free of inhumane behavior or attacks?  So, how do we handle all the criticism and insanity? We do just as Jesus did. Pick up our cross and continue in perseverance with the end goal in mind . . . heaven.

The Gospel today (John 5:1-16) demonstrates the insanity Jesus encountered is no different than the liberal media of today:

There was a feast of the Jews, and Jesus went up to Jerusalem. Now there is in Jerusalem at the Sheep Gate a pool called in Hebrew Bethesda, with five porticoes. In these lay a large number of ill, blind, lame, and crippled. One man was there who had been ill for thirty-eight years. When Jesus saw him lying there and knew that he had been ill for a long time, he said to him, "Do you want to be well?" The sick man answered him, "Sir, I have no one to put me into the pool when the water is stirred up; while I am on my way, someone else gets down there before me." Jesus said to him, "Rise, take up your mat, and walk." Immediately the man became well, took up his mat, and walked.

Now that day was a sabbath. So the Jews said to the man who was cured, "It is the sabbath, and it is not lawful for you to carry your mat."  He answered them, "The man who made me well told me, 'Take up your mat and walk.'" They asked him, "Who is the man who told you, 'Take it up and walk'?" The man who was healed did not know who it was, for Jesus had slipped away, since there was a crowd there. After this Jesus found him in the temple area and said to him, "Look, you are well; do not sin any more, so that nothing worse may happen to you." The man went and told the Jews that Jesus was the one who had made him well. Therefore, the Jews began to persecute Jesus because he did this on a sabbath.

The quote below from Anne in her book Staying in Place is perfect . . . let the Lord handle those who persecute:

"Regarding circumstances outside of our control? Those are the Lord’s affair. Healthy detachment protects us from disillusionment when we are persecuted and we must see the hand of God where the institutional Church acts protectively. Women, in particular, cannot fail to honor the massive contribution of our sisters gone before us. We must persevere in their footsteps, caring for all beloved men, women and children and actively assisting in the formation of the next generation. We protect the development of the Church by ongoing contribution in order to balance what can only be viewed as lopsided ministry where it is all male. Complementarity in Church leadership is the future. We must all, male and female, contemplate what that should look like and no doubt suffer to bring it about."

Lay apostles, persecution is the norm, so why are we surprised when we see it occur on the evening news? It's wrong, yes. It's inhumane at times, yes. View your persecutions with Jesus in mind. The next time you are chastised, take it on the chin for Christ, no matter how harsh the reality is. See it for what it is . . . harassment because of our beliefs. And, fear within the persecutor because his actions may be contrary to a belief system they refuse to follow due to sin they are not willing to give up. Think about it the next time you feel judged. And respond as Christ did.

Thank you, Lord, for bravery in persecutions. Without You, I am nothing. With You, I am humble. Give me the courage I need to make it home to heaven.

God bless,
Bonnie

Monday, March 27, 2017

Lent Day 27 - Honor

How do I honor Christ?

After reading the Gospel this morning, the word "honor" pervaded my thoughts. Honor means to regard with great respect; to fulfill (an obligation) or keep (an agreement). I know God doesn't have a problem fulfilling His part of the covenant with us. It's my human countenance that loses focus at times, allowing the world to dictate my ability to remain peaceful. My thoughts can quickly deteriorate, depending on the conflict ensuing. When I begin to "go there" in my head, the internal battle usually arises, causing me to feel unsettled. I know I am not respecting Christ and all He has done to get me to where I am today. So, how do I honor Him in these circumstances?  I honor Him by accepting His Mercy, even when I feel I don't deserve it. I honor Him by giving up more and more of my free will in exchange for an eternity with Him.

The Gospel today (John 4:43-54) teaches us not to ignore the graces He shows us on a daily basis:

At that time Jesus left [Samaria] for Galilee. For Jesus himself testified
that a prophet has no honor in his native place. When he came into Galilee, the Galileans welcomed him, since they had seen all he had done in Jerusalem at the feast; for they themselves had gone to the feast.

Then he returned to Cana in Galilee, where he had made the water wine.
Now there was a royal official whose son was ill in Capernaum. When he heard that Jesus had arrived in Galilee from Judea, he went to him and asked him to come down and heal his son, who was near death. Jesus said to him, "Unless you people see signs and wonders, you will not believe." The royal official said to him, "Sir, come down before my child dies." Jesus said to him, "You may go; your son will live." The man believed what Jesus said to him and left. While the man was on his way back, his slaves met him and told him that his boy would live. He asked them when he began to recover. They told him, "The fever left him yesterday, about one in the afternoon." The father realized that just at that time Jesus had said to him, "Your son will live," and he and his whole household came to believe. Now this was the second sign Jesus did
when he came to Galilee from Judea.

In Anne's book Staying in Place, she wisely reminds us of the honor Our Lord grants His Children:

"What is a sacrament? According to our Catechism, a sacrament is an outward and visible sign of an inward, invisible grace (St. Augustine). What is grace? Grace is a gift from God. We do not earn a gift. We cannot purchase one. It has to be given and the joy of receiving a gift is two-fold. One, we enjoy the gift itself, particularly if we need it and if it has practical application. Two, we are heartened and consoled that the Giver has contemplated us favorably, in love and earnest desire for connection. When someone earnestly desires connection with us and His motives are selfless, then we cannot help but be touched.


Our God is not a God of limitations and the only thing He is unwilling to interfere with is the action of our free will. If we insist on rejection of God and the family of God, then God will honor our choice."

Lay apostles, think about how you honor God today. Is it through a kind word or smile? Visiting Him in Adoration? Showing patience with a loved one? Whatever it is, make the effort and remember it's a two-way street. God always honors us . . . let's give Him the same in return!

Thank you, Lord, for reminding me honor goes both ways. Help me to honor You in all I do.

God bless,
Bonnie

Friday, March 24, 2017

Lent Day 24 - Love

It's been 10 years since the death of my mother. Today as I write my blog, I'm reminded of all the love she tried her best to give to her family as we tried our best in return despite her lifelong mental illness roller coaster. Loving in a difficult situation can be challenging, frustrating, and, unexpectedly entertaining:

It was a quiet evening at Hope Hospice that night back in 2007. Unresponsive at this point, Mom seemed comfortable in her hi-tech bed. My sister Diane and I spent three and a half long weeks by Mom's side, 24/7. One night, in particular, we had the TV show "Jeopardy!" lingering in the background. I will tell you right upfront, I suck at this game (of course, depending on the subject . . . 70's music and movies I can be fierce competition!). As usual, I half-listened to the "answers" not quick enough to figure out the "question." The final Jeopardy! "answer" was read . . . something about a Spanish painter and I knew the answer! I yelled out "Miro!" The response from the players . . . "Who is Miro!" I started woohooing, proud I finally got one right! Within seconds, Mom's nurse came running in. "Is everything ok?" she asked calmly with an empathetic look on her face. All of the sudden, I realized I was in hospice, and loud noises coming from a room are usually cries of grief at the loss of a loved one. I assured her there was no change in Mom, and I just got a little excited about getting the final Jeopardy! question right. She just smiled and nodded, closing the door behind her, I'm sure, to keep the noise level down!

In today's Gospel (Mark 12:28-34), Jesus accentuates that love is the key to His Heart:

One of the scribes came to Jesus and asked him, "Which is the first of all the commandments?" Jesus replied, "The first is this: Hear, O Israel! The Lord our God is Lord alone! You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart,  with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength. The second is this: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. There is no other commandment greater than these." The scribe said to him, "Well said, teacher. You are right in saying, He is One and there is no other than he. And to love him with all your heart, with all your understanding, 
with all your strength, and to love your neighbor as yourself is worth more than all burnt offerings and sacrifices." And when Jesus saw that he answered with understanding, he said to him, "You are not far from the Kingdom of God." And no one dared to ask him any more questions.

Boy does this quote from Anne's book Staying in Place nail why God's Love is crucial in creating a healthier, healed self:

"When we insist on healthy practices which reject superstition and which put people directly in relationship with God, we will feel lighter and more effective as Christians called to create what is fresh and healthy. When people insist on talking about Satan and evil we will equally insist on talking about Jesus Christ and His goodness. Mercy and love will replace fear, hatred, suspicion and distortion. Mercy and love. What was terribly incomplete must now be replaced with what is at least MORE complete and aimed at ever greater completeness."

Lay apostles, even in the most difficult situation, search for the good . . . the love that can be infused. Whether that love is for God, another person, or even yourself, make it a habit to bring every obstacle faced to the Foot of the Cross. Sometimes it's hard to determine good in adversity, but it can be done. Give it a try today if you are blessed with a challenge . . . He is waiting to send you heavenly love and graces.

Thank you, Lord, for continually reminding me through the Gospels and Anne's exquisite writing that God = Love. And, with His Love comes healing and peace.

God bless,
Bonnie



Thursday, March 23, 2017

Lent Day 23 - Overcomes

Two of my daughters have been skydiving.  A friend skydives almost every weekend, with a total of over 700 jumps to date. The thought of leaping out of an airplane scares me to death. What if the parachute doesn't open?  What if you forget when to pull the cord to release it?  There are rules and regulations to assure the best outcome when jumping.  An experienced instructor teaches you about the equipment so you understand everything about the huge thing strapped to your back.  And, you listen very carefully, right?  You don't want to plunge 100 mph to your death! I am not an adrenaline junky in any way, shape or form.  But ask anyone to describe the experience and they will tell you it's liberating.  One minute of pure heaven . . . a leap of faith.  

Isn't belief in God like skydiving?  We need Christ, priests, and pastors (instructors) to guide and teach us about the Bible (equipment) so we are ready for the day we are called to heaven (the jump).  Take a leap of faith.  Overcome fears. Start implementing those rules and regulations daily knowing the Great Instructor wants us to arrive safe and sound. Believe.


The Gospel reading today (Luke 11:14-23) leaves me with this thought . . . Jesus is and was one patient, focused Man:

Jesus was driving out a demon that was mute, and when the demon had gone out, the mute man spoke and the crowds were amazed. Some of them said, "By the power of Beelzebul, the prince of demons, he drives out demons." Others, to test him, asked him for a sign from heaven. But he knew their thoughts and said to them, "Every kingdom divided against itself will be laid waste and house will fall against house. And if Satan is divided against himself,  how will his kingdom stand? For you say that it is by Beelzebul that I drive out demons. If I, then, drive out demons by Beelzebul, by whom do your own people drive them out? Therefore they will be your judges. But if it is by the finger of God that I drive out demons, then the Kingdom of God has come upon you. When a strong man fully armed guards his palace, his possessions are safe. But when one stronger than he attacks and overcomes him, he takes away the armor on which he relied and distributes the spoils. Whoever is not with me is against me, and whoever does not gather with me scatters."

Anne a lay apostle encourages us to overcome negativity and remain connected to each other in her book Staying in Place:


"If I believe in God, then I must accept that at times I am acting outside of His will. I must be interested in His pain at any separation from me that He experiences from these actions. Humanity being what it is, I must be encouraged to acknowledge these ruptures in relationship and set about healing and forgiving myself through the acceptance of responsibility. I must remain open to experiencing the sorrow that this causes both of us, meaning self and God. We, working together in relationship, overcome the negative actions and Jesus brings about healing for us. The beauty of this is the humble and contrite spirit that comes after this process. If we contemplate the mind of God in all of the areas of our lives, we will begin to allow God access to every corner and then something wonderful will occur."


I would like to end with a great quote from one of my favorite saints, St. Therese, the Little Flower:


Many people say, "I don't have the courage to make this sacrifice." Let them do what I did: exert a great effort. God never refuses that first grace which gives one the courage to act; afterwards the heart is strengthened.

Thank you, Lord, for all the lessons/Scriptures You have given us to overcome anything . . . please give me excellent recall of those lessons when I am confronted!

God bless,
Bonnie 

Wednesday, March 22, 2017

Lent Day 22 - Law

Why did the word "law" jump out from the Gospel today? Hmmm . . . after the Comey hearing yesterday, it's hard to swallow the degree to which our country was compromised over the last 8 years. When our own FBI and NSA can't even tell the truth, it's no wonder the lawlessness has grown out of hand. It's been an education making sense of what is really taking place in DC (and the world)! But I have discovered a gold mine in truth . . . a radio show called YourVoice radio hosted by Bill Mitchell (@mitchellvii). Bill's "tweets" kept me off the edge prior to President Trump's election. His radio broadcast provided an incandescent positivity along with solid explanations as to what was actually happening (and not being covered by #FakeNews) in politics. Bill's show is comprised of extremely informed co-hosts and guests from all realms.  Real people, the #NewMedia. President Trump inherited quite a mess, but I have full confidence he is a big part of the answer. He has been chosen to restore the law in this country. As Christians, our calling is the same . . . to shine the Light of Christ to all those in darkness. Live the commandments to the best of our ability, knowing we are all imperfect and will falter at times. The "laws" of Christ are there to protect and guide us, just as the U.S. Constitution was written to safeguard every American. Obedience to the laws allows us to live the freedoms so many have died for, especially Our Savior, Jesus Christ!

In today's Gospel (Matthew 5:17-19), Jesus asks us to set a good example for others:

Jesus said to his disciples: "Do not think that I have come to abolish the law or the prophets. I have come not to abolish but to fulfill. Amen, I say to you, until heaven and earth pass away, not the smallest letter or the smallest part of a letter will pass from the law, until all things have taken place. Therefore, whoever breaks one of the least of these commandments and teaches others to do so will be called least in the Kingdom of heaven. But whoever obeys and teaches these commandments will be called greatest in the Kingdom of heaven."

I love Anne's quote below from Staying in Place . . . especially the implications when a law is not taken seriously:

"We cannot accuse others but excuse ourselves. We must allow for God to come through all, regardless of their condition, regardless of their wounds and fallen natures. Why is this important and why does it sound so basic? Well, it is basic. But the law of gravity is also basic, and the ramifications of that law are layered and sometimes end in tragedy when that law is ignored."

Lay apostles, today, let's focus on how we are following the laws . . . God's and our country. We must set an example of peaceful obedience, kindness replacing anger. In a world full of conflict, the laws of God and His Truth will always prevail!

Thank you, Lord, for people like Bill Mitchell who want to see prosperity and peace cultivated among Your Children.

God bless,
Bonnie

Tuesday, March 21, 2017

Lent Day 21 - Forgive

Me? Stubborn? No, it's not stubbornness, it's just strength of mind or will the way I see it! When I feel very passionate about my viewpoint, it's hard to convince me otherwise. But when it's my way or the highway, how does that allow another to have their own point of view? I used to see everything as black or white . . . no shades of gray. Either you do or you don't. With age comes wisdom (thank GOD!). I can accept opinions in conflict with my own. I may be hurt or upset at first, but the love of Christ always leads me to forgiveness. I never want to disappoint Him. And when I don't forgive, I'm only hurting Our Lord. As long as I keep Him in the middle and see everything through His Eyes, compassion replaces vindication.

In today's Gospel (Matthew 18:21-35), Jesus is probably not offering Peter the explanation he was looking for:

Peter approached Jesus and asked him, "Lord, if my brother sins against me, how often must I forgive him? As many as seven times?"
Jesus answered, "I say to you, not seven times but seventy-seven times.
That is why the Kingdom of heaven may be likened to a king who decided to settle accounts with his servants. When he began the accounting, a debtor was brought before him who owed him a huge amount. Since he had no way of paying it back, his master ordered him to be sold, along with his wife, his children, and all his property, in payment of the debt.
At that, the servant fell down, did him homage, and said, 'Be patient with me, and I will pay you back in full.' Moved with compassion the master of that servant let him go and forgave him the loan. When that servant had left, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a much smaller amount. He seized him and started to choke him, demanding, 'Pay back what you owe.' Falling to his knees, his fellow servant begged him, 'Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.' But he refused. Instead, he had him put in prison until he paid back the debt. Now when his fellow servants saw what had happened, they were deeply disturbed, and went to their master and reported the whole affair. His master summoned him and said to him, 'You wicked servant! I forgave you your entire debt because you begged me to. Should you not have had pity on your fellow servant, as I had pity on you?' Then in anger his master handed him over to the torturers until he should pay back the whole debt. So will my heavenly Father do to you, unless each of you forgives your brother from your heart."

In the quote below from Staying in Place, Anne's words give me such a great visual . . . as a nurse, I know how crucial oxygen can be in those where it is deficient:

"God’s mercy is like oxygen. His friendship is so inviting, so unconditional and ever-present that we cannot avoid its eagerness to forgive and restore to relationship. God does not want people to teach limited mercy, but rather fullness of mercy."

Lay apostles, today let's strap on the oxygen mask and remember how loved we are by Our Creator. No matter our sins, He is ready and waiting to forgive. Let go of the anger or hurt clouding judgment of the offender. Remember, we are all imperfect. Contemplate how much we crave God's forgiveness for our own sins, allowing us to view others with this same compassion.

Thank you, Lord, for helping me to let go of pride and ego enough to forgive quickly when I am hurt or offended. This "forgiveness" stuff is hard work, but the end result is seeing You Face to face someday!

God bless,
Bonnie

Monday, March 20, 2017

Lent Day 20 - Afraid

Today the word "afraid" called my name in the Gospel, as it perfectly relates to a conversation I had this past weekend. Out to lunch with two women I am close to, the topic of martyrs came up. I recalled a dream I had while writing Heavenly Healing. I was in our local church, praying in front of the Blessed Sacrament. There were about 5 other Adorers scattered throughout the pews, when I heard scuffling in the back of the church. I turned around and saw a few masked men coming toward me. One of them came right up to me, pointed a gun at my forehead and asked, "Would you die for Him?" I didn't hesitate. I said, "Yes." He pulled the trigger and the impact of the bullet woke me as if actually shot. I was a bit disoriented as I jumped out of bed . . . the dream felt so real. That dream was a key moment in my life. Just years earlier, I would have been too afraid to say yes, and probably would have lied to stay alive.

As I was telling the two women this experience, one of them said, "But you wouldn't actually say 'yes' if it really happened, would you?" With no hesitation, I said "Of course I would say yes and die for Him!" She was shocked, going on further, "So if a demented person walked in this door right now, and you knew he was mentally ill and pointing a gun, you wouldn't say something to save your life?" I then told her I would never deny Him, ever. The look on her face made me realize how important it is to spread the Gospel messages and words from all of Heaven in the Volumes.

We are all heading to the same place, and I know He controls the day I am called home. Whether I am shot, drown, or die peacefully in my sleep, I am ready. Not that I am asking Him to take me now! But, if we fear death, are we really trusting God? It has taken this apostolate to form me, to learn to trust in Christ, no matter what is happening in my environment. It's not always easy and I can't say human fear wouldn't take over if confronted with the scenario from my dream. But my answer will always be "yes." Be not afraid!

In today's Gospel (Matthew 1:16, 18-21, 24A), Joseph had to overcome his human concerns about Mary, and follow the Lord's plan:

Jacob was the father of Joseph, the husband of Mary. Of her was born Jesus who is called the Christ.

Now this is how the birth of Jesus Christ came about. When his mother Mary was betrothed to Joseph, but before they lived together, she was found with child through the Holy Spirit. Joseph her husband, since he was a righteous man, yet unwilling to expose her to shame, decided to divorce her quietly. Such was his intention when, behold, the angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, "Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary your wife into your home. For it is through the Holy Spirit that this child has been conceived in her. She will bear a son and you are to name him Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins." When Joseph awoke, he did as the angel of the Lord had commanded him and took his wife into his home.

In Anne a lay apostle's book Staying in Place, she illuminates how important it is to stand firm in our love of God and commitment to Him:

"Many people remain in place, offering God’s love to others long after they have ‘felt’ an experience of love. Those children of the Father understand, in simplicity, that the best response they can make to God’s love is to bring it to others. Those who accept God’s love simply, need the least amount of persuasion and maintenance. God, in a real sense, gives them everything. They have been given the whole inheritance. They do not feel this, yet they serve on because they know this to be true intellectually. Really, whatever it takes to keep us serving is available to us in the moments we need help. On one day, one thing will provide what we need. On another day, it will be something else. This is important because if something consoles us one day and we lose it another day, we must not be afraid that we can no longer persevere. Instead, we should rest in the certainty that we no longer need that type of glue, and the newest type will be offered to us so that we can stick out our commitments to the spread of the Father’s love."

Lay apostles, do you let fear control your life? Not just the fear of death, but fear of what others will think of you? If your answer is yes, dig into the Bible. Read about the lives of Saints. Read the Volumes. I promise the more you understand Our Lord, the easier it is to let go of fear.

Thank you, Lord, for teaching me love and commitment to You trumps everything!

God bless,
Bonnie

Friday, March 17, 2017

Lent Day 17 - Respect

Last night Jay and I attended the Faith & Ale/Faith & Wine event with speaker Stephen Ray. Now that is one energetic man!


The depth in his understanding of biblical history ignites my desire even more to dig deeper as this is the history of my heavenly family. He is a storyteller extraordinaire, bringing to life the Truth of our Catholic faith. His comparison of pagan times in the Old Testament to our world today was an eye opener . . . associating the two realities hadn't crossed my mind. Everything associated with pagan behavior . . . instant gratification, whatever made them feel better at the time, was only temporary. Lying, sex, lust, drunkenness, and even killing was standard. Eventually, this way of living was not sustainable for many and only led to misery. The lack of respect for what was good and holy only motivated the early Christians to continue on to be even bolder. The joy with which Christians being martyred embodied at their death caused a curiosity among the pagans . . . what did the Christians know that they didn't? How could they be joyful when faced with a lion charging in the Colosseum? Hence, the growth of our Christian heritage.

Jay and I discussed Stephen's talk on the way home last night. What message stood out to me? It's time to be BOLD! It's time to turn the pagan ideology developing in our world again into a world of faith and decency. It begins with each one of us taking the first step! Spread the love of Jesus in your words and actions. Initiate it today!

In today's Gospel (Matthew 21:33-43, 45-46), Jesus uses the vineyard owner parable to teach us how selfishness and lack of respect will not lead to living life with Christ in eternity:

Jesus said to the chief priests and the elders of the people: “Hear another parable. There was a landowner who planted a vineyard, put a hedge around it, dug a wine press in it, and built a tower. Then he leased it to tenants and went on a journey. When vintage time drew near, he sent his servants to the tenants to obtain his produce. But the tenants seized the servants and one they beat, another they killed, and a third they stoned. Again he sent other servants, more numerous than the first ones, but they treated them in the same way. Finally, he sent his son to them, thinking, ‘They will respect my son.’ But when the tenants saw the son, they said to one another, ‘This is the heir. Come, let us kill him and acquire his inheritance.’ They seized him, threw him out of the vineyard, and killed him. What will the owner of the vineyard do to those tenants when he comes?” They answered him, “He will put those wretched men to a wretched death and lease his vineyard to other tenants who will give him the produce at the proper times.” Jesus said to them, “Did you never read in the Scriptures:

The stone that the builders rejected has become the cornerstone; by the Lord has this been done, and it is wonderful in our eyes?

Therefore, I say to you, the Kingdom of God will be taken away from you and given to a people that will produce its fruit.” When the chief priests and the Pharisees heard his parables, they knew that he was speaking about them. And although they were attempting to arrest him, they feared the crowds, for they regarded him as a prophet.

The following from Anne in her book Staying in Place flawlessly reveals we are responsible to choose how we respect others and ourselves:

"It is often through the negotiation of one’s wounds that God is discovered. It is in the decision to choose what is good, again and again, despite hurts that leads us to wellness. It is in the discovery that despite all of life’s confusion, we remain intact because God, the Source, never leaves us. Dignity cannot be bestowed upon us by others, even though we can discover and rediscover it through the compassion and respect of others. Our dignity has been bestowed upon us by our Creator.
Our dignity cannot be destroyed, diminished or obliterated. We are the only ones who can choose to reject our dignity. Let each person stand confidently and declare, 'God in me is good.'"

Lay apostles, do you recognize the state of our world today? The disrespect of everything good and holy is overwhelming at times, isn't it? The beauty of reading the Gospels and messages from all of heaven in the Volumes reminds us times have been difficult in the past and Christ overcame it all. He is still in control . . . always has been and always will be. Let's band together and live as Jesus specifically details in the Gospels. It's all there! We just need to dig in deeper and respect His directions.

Thank you, Lord, for leading me to Your incredibly talented servants who proclaim Your Words in a way I can understand clearly! You are so merciful!

God bless,
Bonnie

Thursday, March 16, 2017

Lent Day 16 - Suffering

Suffering . . . the word itself is enough to send anyone running in the opposite direction! While contemplating this "word" from the Gospel today, my thoughts shifted to caring for my parents at end of life. Dad's end was distinctly different from Mom. Dad always had a pretty good attitude and never once complained after surrendering his once independent life to living in my home full time. He accepted his suffering like a champion (metastatic malignant melanoma), and when he asked for pain medication, which he rarely did, I knew it was pretty bad. Every day for those precious four months I had with him (24/7) were filled with routine . . . morning coffee, out to the patio to smoke, and 10am Price is Right during the week! Afternoons were spent watching sports and occasional rides to Target (his favorite store!) just to get him out of the house. Despite the good days, the suffering was mutual. To see my strong, sports loving father wither away into a thin, frail man broke my heart at times. His last moment on Earth was exactly what he had asked for and what my sister and I promised . . . we would be holding his hand when he took his last breath. It was as calm and peaceful as he had lived most of his life.

Now, my mother on the other hand . . . well, let's just say her end of life was consistent with her life on earth. A lifetime of mental illness was full of highs and lows. I know, in my heart, she suffered her purgatory on Earth. Always tormented by her traumatic childhood, her last weeks in hospice seemed she would leave this earth just as tormented. It was Lent and a visiting priest came in to see her. After he left, my sister and I read to mom (she wasn't responding at this point, but constantly scowling) from a Lenten devotional which happened to be on forgiveness that day. There were so many people who had hurt my mom as a child, and I believe she had held those hurts close. We encouraged her to forgive her tormenters so she could move on to paradise. That evening, something had changed . . . Mom had the most peaceful look on her face. And it remained until she passed away a few days later. Not only was she relieved of her earthly suffering, but my sister and I could release ours too.

Today's Gospel (Luke 16:19-31) reminds us that suffering on earth is worth our eternity in heaven:

Jesus said to the Pharisees: “There was a rich man who dressed in purple garments and fine linen and dined sumptuously each day. And lying at his door was a poor man named Lazarus, covered with sores, who would gladly have eaten his fill of the scraps that fell from the rich man’s table. Dogs even used to come and lick his sores. When the poor man died, he was carried away by angels to the bosom of Abraham. The rich man also died and was buried, and from the netherworld, where he was in torment, he raised his eyes and saw Abraham far off and Lazarus at his side. And he cried out, ‘Father Abraham, have pity on me. Send Lazarus to dip the tip of his finger in water and cool my tongue, for I am suffering torment in these flames.’ Abraham replied, ‘My child, remember that you received what was good during your lifetime while Lazarus likewise received what was bad; but now he is comforted here, whereas you are tormented. Moreover, between us and you a great chasm is established to prevent anyone from crossing who might wish to go from our side to yours or from your side to ours.’ He said, ‘Then I beg you, father, send him to my father’s house, for I have five brothers, so that he may warn them, lest they too come to this place of torment.’ But Abraham replied, ‘They have Moses and the prophets.

Let them listen to them.’ He said, ‘Oh no, father Abraham, but if someone from the dead goes to them, they will repent.’ Then Abraham said, ‘If they will not listen to Moses and the prophets, neither will they be persuaded if someone should rise from the dead.’“

The quote by Anne below from Staying in Place correlates so well with my thought process today and spotlights my Lenten objective:

"For our Apostolate, let us focus on the people God has placed in our care. For us, Church must be found in the needs of God’s children around us. If we become temporarily discouraged by mistreatment in the Church, then we will look to the people in whom God has placed the Church around us, and we will persevere. The Church as the Bride of Christ is a spiritual institution. The most severe temptations will not sway us if we focus on our work, studying people’s pain and asking ourselves where love wants to go in the moment. The inevitable ups and downs of our experience as Catholics in the Church will not shake our resolve because we do not stare into the Church demanding something but stare into the people around us offering something. The sacramental graces of the Church sustain us along with our relationship with Christ in the Eucharist. Contemplation of people and their wounds will inspire us to give generously of all that we have.

Christ was not usually thanked and blessed. He was usually rejected and distorted. He is the One we follow. His experience will be ours, undoubtedly, to a greater or lesser degree. Suffering should not alarm us, but confirm us in our service."

Lay apostles, we all have suffered spiritually, mentally, emotionally or physically to one degree or another over the span of our lives so far. I love the last line in the above quote by Anne, "Suffering should not alarm us, but confirm us in our service." Suffering is not unique to certain people. My suffering is exclusive to me. As much as I would like things to go differently at times, it's not the path Jesus has in mind. The older I get, the more my eyes are opened to the reality that is life. Mentally preparing for any suffering can be done on a daily basis . . . by trusting Our Lord is maneuvering us around for His Glory!

Thank you, Lord, for the prep you have done in my heart and mind to bring me to where I am today. Although I have so much more to learn and practice, I know trusting in You will sustain me.

God bless,
Bonnie

Wednesday, March 15, 2017

Lent Day 15 - Authority

My book, Heavenly Healing, not only made me an author for the first time, but taught me many lessons in the process. After reading today's Gospel and contemplating why the word "authority" spoke to me, Anne a lay apostle immediately came to mind. Heavenly Healing is a book of testimonies from lay apostles all over the world who had been blessed by the Apostolate of Jesus Christ the Returning King. The first time I heard Anne speak, it was like drinking water from a fire hose! Jesus grabbed my heart that day, truly beginning my journey toward eternity. A few years later, after devouring every Volume, every Heaven Speaks booklet, Climbing the Mountain and Mist of Mercy, I wanted to write. I needed to write. After publishing a few articles in Christian magazines, I felt the Lord leading me to something bigger . . . I just wasn't sure what that was.  Soon I found myself sitting across from Anne, interviewing her. Eleven years and four books later, our relationship has grown into a wonderful friendship, and to this day, she remains the most faith-filled woman I know (and she is the first to say she is imperfect!). God has genuinely given me a mentor to climb the mountain of holiness with.

So, why did I think of Anne when I contemplated the word "authority" in today's Gospel? Because she gives God the authority He deserves in everything she does, says and writes. It's never been about her, it's about what Jesus desires. She is constantly seeking His Will, encouraging everyone to do the same. 

Matthew 20:17-28:

As Jesus was going up to Jerusalem, he took the Twelve disciples aside by themselves, and said to them on the way, "Behold, we are going up to Jerusalem, and the Son of Man will be handed over to the chief priests and the scribes, and they will condemn him to death, and hand him over to the Gentiles to be mocked and scourged and crucified, and he will be raised on the third day."

Then the mother of the sons of Zebedee approached Jesus with her sons and did him homage, wishing to ask him for something. He said to her, "What do you wish?" She answered him, "Command that these two sons of mine sit, one at your right and the other at your left, in your kingdom." Jesus said in reply, "You do not know what you are asking.
Can you drink the chalice that I am going to drink?" They said to him, "We can." He replied, "My chalice you will indeed drink, but to sit at my right and at my left, this is not mine to give but is for those for whom it has been prepared by my Father." When the ten heard this, they became indignant at the two brothers. But Jesus summoned them and said, "You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and the great ones make their authority over them felt. But it shall not be so among you. Rather, whoever wishes to be great among you shall be your servant; whoever wishes to be first among you shall be your slave. Just so, the Son of Man did not come to be served but to serve
and to give his life as a ransom for many."


In Anne a lay apostle's book Staying in Place, she reminds us that desiring Truth is ultimately our path to knowing God:

"Perhaps what is needed is a firmer connection to the mind of God. What is the mind of God?


Well, any encounter with the Father would bring one to understand authority. The Father radiates authority. Real authority, of course, comes from Truth. Full Truth, that is. Not shades of the Truth, not self-serving slants on the Truth and certainly not the Truth arbitrated for any one given historical point of history. The Truth never changes but here is the reality of our relationship to the Truth. At given historical points, God seems to allow us to go deeper into the Truth, to discover in greater detail its unchanging elements. And it is those true elements that withstand the test of time, as Divine Mercy has withstood the test of time. It has proved itself to be a true revelation for all times. But people were not ready for it prior to its revealed moment and possibly only through time will we absorb and apply it more fully."

Lay apostles, how connected do you feel to God right now? Are you taking time this Lent to develop your relationship with Him? How does today's Gospel speak to you? My connection to Him is through our morning/spiritual readings, prayers at meals, weekly Adoration, praying the Rosary and going to Mass. The more I get to know Him, the more I feel the need to give up self-will . . . to let Him take the reins.

Thank you, Lord, for being the Authority in my life. It seems so much easier when I let You lead!

God bless,
Bonnie

Tuesday, March 14, 2017

Lent Day 14 - Practice

My 4-year-old grandson Colton loves speed. The faster something goes, the bigger the grin on his sweet face. For Christmas this past year, Santa brought him a go-cart . . . I mean a real one with the capability of going up to 25 mph! The first time he sat in his shiny new machine to take it for a spin, the speed control hadn't been set and he took off like a bullet! Luckily no damage to him or any surrounding property occurred, but the speed bug hit him! With a little practice, determination and coordination, this kid shockingly mastered his (5 mph max speed set!) driving skills! At age 4!!! Here is a short video I took of him this past weekend, donuts being his favorite thing to do right now:



As with Colt's advancing driving skills, the more we "practice" our faith, living the life Jesus died to give us, the more enriched our lives become . . . the easier it is to master love, kindness, service to others, and compassion. 

In today's Gospel (Matthew 23:1-12), Jesus teaches us the value of practicing what you preach:


Jesus spoke to the crowds and to his disciples, saying, "The scribes and the Pharisees have taken their seat on the chair of Moses. Therefore, do and observe all things whatsoever they tell you, but do not follow their example. For they preach but they do not practice. They tie up heavy burdens hard to carry and lay them on people's shoulders, but they will not lift a finger to move them. All their works are performed to be seen. They widen their phylacteries and lengthen their tassels. They love places of honor at banquets, seats of honor in synagogues,
greetings in marketplaces, and the salutation 'Rabbi.' As for you, do not be called 'Rabbi.' You have but one teacher, and you are all brothers.
Call no one on earth your father; you have but one Father in heaven.
Do not be called 'Master'; you have but one master, the Christ. The greatest among you must be your servant. Whoever exalts himself will be humbled; but whoever humbles himself will be exalted."


Anne has written one of my favorite lines in her book Staying in Place, ithe first sentence in the quote below:


"If we expect life to occasionally feel like a rodeo instead of an orderly procession of happy events, we will be in a greater state of readiness for our life experience.


Self-pity is the enemy of wellness and joy. Self-pity is the enemy of virtue. Self-pity targets initiative and accomplishment. Jesus Christ kept working from the cross of His death, organizing care for His mother, obtaining forgiveness for His persecutors, doing the hard work to wrap His head around His circumstances, even asking, 'My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?'

My friends, if we are breathing, life has expectations of us. Today’s expectations could jump to a far higher level at any moment. We must prepare to serve. And when we are most disappointed, we must practice finding what is good around us, what is pure, even when it is only pure sorrow. Then we might say with profound gratitude, 'Thank you, Jesus that someone taught me to believe in the next life, where all of this suffering will have evaporated and where I will be united with loved ones in safety and celebration, free from pain, harm and threat.'”

Lay apostles, how are you practicing your faith this Lent? I figure if I can do it a little better every day, I am heading in the right direction. By reading/learning more about my Catholic faith, demonstrating patience when difficult and loving unconditionally, my road to Heaven becomes very clear. I just need to keep my blinders on when distractions come my way . . . which takes a lot of practice!

Thank you, Lord, for the lessons learned by watching my 4-year-old grandson mastering his go-cart! Your lessons are everywhere!

God bless,
Bonnie



Monday, March 13, 2017

Lent Day 13 - Merciful

It's easy to get caught up in noise. It's easy to try to predict reasons behind erratic behavior. Analyzing every possible scenario is exhausting. So why try? Well, it's just how my brain works. Luckily, I have learned that when my brain starts calculating worst case and best case scenarios, it's time to call in the Big Guy. My job is to love and be merciful, leading by example. And, set very clear boundaries. 


Reminds me of an incident when my three girls were teenagers. It was around the time Ricky Martin was the big teen heartthrob. He had just opened a restaurant in Miami, so we decided it would be a fun day trip. (The girls were hoping they would get a glimpse of him, although it was highly unlikely). We were on the highway for about 20 minutes, when my oldest Mallorie was arguing with her youngest sister Taylor. The first "girls, stop the fighting" calmly escaped my lips. They quieted for about 5 minutes. Then, the bickering began again. Now my voice was a little louder. "Girls, if you argue one more time we are turning around and going home," I said (regretfully after I realized I would have to follow through with the threat!). "Noooooo, mom, we won't fight anymore. We promise!"  I was actually pretty excited to visit the restaurant, too, so I hoped they would get along for the next hour. Mind you, my middle daughter Whitney stayed out of the conflict. After the first warning, she reiterated my words to her sisters. After the second warning, she was starting to get upset with them. We were about 10 miles from Alligator Alley and turning around wasn't an option for quite awhile. Then from the back seat, it happened. I can't remember who started it. "OK, no Ricky Martin today! You guys blew it!" Got off at the next exit and turned around with three girls crying and apologizing and begging for another chance, although they knew I almost always followed through with my threats (I did let some things slip once in a while!). The lesson is, stop the noise. I am completely aware teenagers = drama. But as adults, unacceptable behavior is just that . . . unacceptable.  With clear boundaries intact, it takes a lot to disturb my peace anymore. I love unconditionally, with mercy, but won't hesitate to pull off the highway and head back home!


In today's Gospel (Luke 6:36-38), Jesus talks about U-Turns:

Jesus said to his disciples: "Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.

"Stop judging and you will not be judged. Stop condemning and you will not be condemned. Forgive and you will be forgiven. Give and gifts will be given to you; a good measure, packed together, shaken down, and overflowing, will be poured into your lap. For the measure with which you measure will in return be measured out to you."


In Anne's book Staying in Place, she reminds us of Our God's great mercy and patience:

"People tend to put their past sins in the front seat, blocking their spirituality. In truth, God understands more than anyone why that person committed the sins he or she committed. People might believe that a harsh God has turned away from them but it will never be true. And if human beings judged them for mistakes or for sins, people do not forget that and they believe God is the same. God waits patiently, up the road, pointing to a hope- filled future, waiting to be noticed as a merciful, loving and understanding force for healing and change."

Lay apostles, Jay has an analogy I love when things become chaotic. An American gentleman one day goes to India. He's meeting with an Indian executive on the first floor of a high rise building. Behind the executive is a large glass window through which he observes people outside the building spinning in circles. Finally, he interrupts the executive and asks what the people outside were doing. The executive explains it is part of a religious sect called the Whirling Dervishes. They whirl because it's part of their belief system. The American asked him "how do you deal with them whirling directly outside your building?" He responds, "I don't do anything.  I leave them alone. Don't allow them to disturb me. I allow them to whirl because they are going to do it wherever they are." The moral of the story is even though some people choose to whirl, we can allow them to do so without getting caught up in their vortex of chaos. We can choose to detach with love and mercy. In doing so, we will obtain more clarity, peacefulness, and energy to do His Will.

Thank you, Lord, for getting me through the teenage years and now enjoying my adult daughters and grandchildren! So much easier being a grandparent!

God bless,
Bonnie

Friday, March 10, 2017

Lent Day 10 - Liable

Today's word from the Gospel . . . liable. 

The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines this as obligated according to law or equity. I hear this and all I can think of are the protesters spewing hatred and violence because they don't know what else to do with themselves. The question that comes to mind is . . . don't they have jobs? Responsibilities? A life? If only they would direct all that energy to cleaning up neighborhoods devestated by poverty and crime instead of destroying small businesses, leaving trash/debris everywhere for hard working men/women to clean up after them. Jesus's words today are so pertinent to the climate in America at this time. Intolerance is being lauded instead of integrity. Violence instead of kindness. Though we can judge an action, we can't judge a soul. Therefore, we must begin within, auditing our own behaviors and actions. Compliance with Our Lord's teaching today (Matthew 5:20-26) is all about accountability . . . making us liable:


Jesus said to his disciples:  "I tell you, unless your righteousness surpasses that of the scribes and Pharisees, you will not enter into the Kingdom of heaven.

"You have heard that it was said to your ancestors, You shall not kill; and whoever kills will be liable to judgment. But I say to you, whoever is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment, and whoever says to his brother, Raqa, will be answerable to the Sanhedrin, and whoever says, 'You fool,' will be liable to fiery Gehenna. Therefore, if you bring your gift to the altar, and there recall that your brother has anything against you, leave your gift there at the altar, go first and be reconciled with your brother, and then come and offer your gift. Settle with your opponent quickly while on the way to court. Otherwise, your opponent will hand you over to the judge, and the judge will hand you over to the guard, and you will be thrown into prison. Amen, I say to you, you will not be released until you have paid the last penny."


In Anne a lay apostle's book Staying in Place, her words/teaching hold true for each and every one of God's children:

"Like it or not, accept it or not, our Catholic Church is known for guilt complexes. People even use the word Catholic as an adjective for a certain type of guilt. Now, guilt is not a bad thing. Taking responsibility for one’s mistakes, especially when these mistakes elevate to the level of sin, is crucial for development. We must hold ourselves accountable for actions that hurt either ourselves or others. This is good formation and if taught correctly prompts the growth of integrity. Nothing is wrong on the face of that. As long as it allows for process and prompts people to ask the question ‘Why’? And also gives a path to adapt bad habits by providing a ‘How?’

Let us look at what can be called the other side of guilt, shame. What people are probably referencing when they say Catholic guilt is actually closer to shame. Shame is not from God. God does not want us to feel shame. The truth is that our sacramental life actually helps people to manage their guilt so they are not stuck in quagmires of shame which can cripple ongoing development as well as distort us and others. So it is crucial that we distinguish between the two and keep ourselves in a place of realistic understanding of our sins and patterns of sin. Perhaps we should break it down further.



Guilt communicates the following: ‘You did a bad thing.’ Or, far better, ‘I did a bad thing. I am capable of doing bad things.’ This is the truth. It is our condition as human beings. We have choices to make and sometimes, for various reasons, we make the wrong choices. The result can be sin which rightfully prompts guilt.

Shame communicates the following: ‘You are a bad person’. Or, sadly, ‘I am a bad person. I am not capable of good things anymore because the past actions I have committed mean I am permanently marked.’ This cruel distortion of the truth is immature, unrealistic, distorted and the enemy of all unity and peace and growth."

Lay apostles, we all have made poor choices which didn't exactly turn out as we thought they would, right? Unfortunately, our wounded humanity arises when we feel defeated or fearful, causing us to react. All Jesus is trying to tell us is when we do cause hurt, ask for forgiveness . . . make things right. And as Anne says, make sure you know the difference between guilt and shame. Don't let the enemy skew your thoughts, holding you back from being liable for your actions.

Thank you, Lord, for the crystal clear directions on how to be accountable/liable for my words and actions.

God bless,
Bonnie

Thursday, March 9, 2017

Lent Day 9 - Ask

In today's Gospel (Matthew 7:7-12), the word "ask" caught my eye:

Jesus said to his disciples: "Ask and it will be given to you;
seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives; and the one who seeks, finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.
Which one of you would hand his son a stone when he asked for a loaf of bread, or a snake when he asked for a fish? If you then, who are wicked, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good things to those who ask him.

"Do to others whatever you would have them do to you.
This is the law and the prophets."

Jesus makes it so simple to ask Him for what we need. Now, the key is accepting what happens after we ask as His Will, not ours! The Gospel spells it out clearly . . . TRUST in Him and He will provide. It's so easy to fall into the trap of believing God doesn't hear your prayers when they are left unanswered. Alas, here is a question to ponder: Do I calmly go about my life, consciously aware He will guide me in the right direction to answer my prayer? Or, do I anticipate immediate change, becoming impatient with God when it doesn't occur fast enough? Believe in the Gospel. Believe in Jesus. He is in control.

In Anne a lay apostle's book Staying in Place, Jesus asks us to open our hearts and minds to the love of God. For when we do, He is able to give us everything we need and pray for:

"I am extending to you now a gift of calm, along with a gift of certainty. Ask me for these gifts and they shall be yours. You will be glad of your commitment to me. The cost to you is the relinquishment of self-will. The benefit to you is sublime and goes out to the whole world. You are standing in a place of conviction. Talk about conviction. Talk about your certainty of My presence in the world and My plan for the children of the Father who both radiates love and creates love. When you receive His love and offer it to others, it grows and grows and grows. But you must accept love. Perhaps that is another question for you to answer.

Do you believe that you are loved? Contemplate this question often. You are loved infinitely. When others hate you because of Me, the Father’s tenderness for you reflects His tenderness for Me during My passion. Believe this because you will then rejoice at your sufferings. Each opportunity to endure ridicule will be for you an indication of how close you are to Me. I love you. You are a part of Me and without you the body of Christ on Earth is less. Please remain steadfast in My plan for you."

Lay apostles, WE ARE LOVED! Every one of us. Develop the confidence to fully follow the journey Christ has laid out for you and the courage to ask Him for graces in times of weakness or uncertainty. The more I trust Him, and I mean REALLY trust Him with my whole heart, the easier it is to handle the ups and downs I am faced with on a daily basis. 

Thank you, Lord, for Your beautiful words above . . . both in the Gospel and Staying in Place. Please be quick to remind me of Your passion and all You suffered for me so I can get back on track when I have gone a little off course!

God bless,
Bonnie

Wednesday, March 8, 2017

Lent Day 8 - Signs

Busy, busy, busy. The years seem to be flying by. Seems like just yesterday I became a grandma for the first time . . . now, four grandkids later, my oldest grandson starts kindergarten this fall! And, it has been almost nine months since our beautiful Catholic wedding at Tearmann Anama (Soul Sanctuary - DFOT HQ) in Ireland!  

This Lent, I am trying to slow down and savor every day . . . to take notice of all God has placed in my life, in full view. I see His blessing when my husband lovingly puts his arm around my shoulder while we pray in Adoration; in the delight of my granddaughter when she rushes into my arms when I pick her up from preschool. When life goes awry or busyness occupies our fleeting days, stop and notice the beauty, love and graces placed in your surroundings. He is everywhere . . . just slow down enough to notice.

Today's Gospel (Luke 11:29-32) provides a simple truth, stop searching for proof of God's existence, and look to His Son for confirmation:


While still more people gathered in the crowd, Jesus said to them, "This generation is an evil generation; it seeks a sign, but no sign will be given it, except the sign of Jonah.  Just as Jonah became a sign to the Ninevites, so will the Son of Man be to this generation. At the judgment the queen of the south will rise with the men of this generation and she will condemn them,
because she came from the ends of the earth to hear the wisdom of Solomon, and there is something greater than Solomon here.  At the judgment the men of Nineveh will arise with this generation and condemn it, because at the preaching of Jonah they repented, and there is something greater than Jonah here."


In Anne a lay apostle's new book Staying in Place: Recovery in the Church, she reminds us we are all here on Earth for a reason . . . and how important each of us are in leading others to Heaven:

"We are in a time of reform. The signs are all around us. While we must reform our hearts, we must also remember why we have been assembled and for what purpose. We are the yeast which is to raise the children of God toward the dignity of Heaven. Everyone counts. Everyone is crucially valuable. Everyone is lovable and has the dignity of the Father who created us." 

Lay apostles, if you haven't fully committed yourself to walking this journey with Christ, what is your hesitation? Think about that today. It's surprising how what we think is a hurdle is actually a curb. 

Thank you, Lord, for the constant reminders of Your love and the sense to know I am needed by You.

God bless,
Bonnie

Tuesday, March 7, 2017

Lent Day 7 - Babble

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, the word "babble" means to talk enthusiastically or excessively. Considering Jesus uses the word babble as a behavior not becoming of a Christian in today's Gospel . . . well, the Italian in me is hard to subdue when I am passionate about something or someone. There are times I am in conversation with a new acquaintance and find I need to remind myself over and over to listen instead of "babble."  Is my need to chime in the need to feel connected? To show I understand or can relate to the story at hand? I love to find common ground with people I meet, to bond on commonality. But that doesn't excuse my lack of listening at times. This prompted thinking about my prayer life. Do I listen to Him or give Him my long list of prayer requests? Usually it's the latter. One of my goals this Lent is to listen to Him more, and babble less. A goal once perfected, will (prayerfully!) spill over into everyday interactions.

In today's Gospel (Matthew 6:7-15), Jesus gives us the perfect prayer to live by:

Jesus said to his disciples: "In praying, do not babble like the pagans,
who think that they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them. Your Father knows what you need before you ask him.

"This is how you are to pray:

Our Father who art in heaven,
hallowed be thy name,
thy Kingdom come,
thy will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread;
and forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us;
and lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.

"If you forgive men their transgressions,
your heavenly Father will forgive you.
But if you do not forgive men,
neither will your Father forgive your transgressions."

In Anne a lay apostle's book Whispers From the Cross, she reminds us to be cautious of what comes out of our mouths: 

"In moments of useless communication when we are not in communion with Jesus, the enemy can come with temptation. Our talk is then subject to a dark influence. Our talk can then become subject to the enemy’s plan. In many ways and on many occasions we have furthered the plan of Satan through talking and other forms of communication that are not willed by heaven. Better we be mute than assist Satan in tearing down what the Lord attempts to build. Many things can happen in useless talking and random communication. Often what happens is destructive gossip. Before any communication, therefore, we must seek to determine if Jesus wants us to communicate. Is Jesus asking us to make this communication? Many times and probably most times the answer will be ‘No’. Jesus needs only the smallest percentage of the communications we make."

Lay apostles, let's take note of how much we listen to others today. Do we cut people off to "babble?" Do we finish their thoughts for them? I know I am guilty of this! Just a few moments ago when Jay was talking to me, I assumed I knew what he was trying to tell me and responded before he finished. He asked if he could continue his thought. The outcome was different than what I assumed. (Sorry my love!) Less babble, more listening for me!

Thank you, Lord, for reminding me to listen first, respond second (which I know is a common reminder for You in our relationship!).

God bless,
Bonnie 

Monday, March 6, 2017

Lent Day 6 - Inheritance

My word from the Gospel today: Inherit

This year will be the 10th anniversary of my mother's death. Hard to believe the time has flown by so quickly. My mother suffered many tragedies as a child, inducing a lifetime of mental illness. But there was one thing she was very clear on . . . her inheritance in heaven. She would always say, considering she was an orphan and a widow (after my father died), she surely would have the greatest riches in heaven. I remember thinking she might be spending a bit of time in purgatory before seeing those riches, but nevertheless, I knew she was right. So many search for their inheritance here on earth . . . thinking more money in their bank account means a better life. I've seen and heard about families feuding over an item left behind . . . coveting a material object instead of comforting each other for their loss of a loved one. It's time to let go of material things and start focusing on our heavenly inheritance. I will leave you with this quote from the movie Bella. The main female lead, Nina, says "I've done the research and ten out of ten people die." We are all heading in the same direction toward eternal life . . . we only have this one chance to aim for heaven. 

Today's Gospel (Matthew 25:31-46) couldn't be any clearer, and make my choice any easier . . . I want to be on the right side:

Jesus said to his disciples: "When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit upon his glorious throne, and all the nations will be assembled before him.  And he will separate them one from another, as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. He will place the sheep on his right and the goats on his left. Then the king will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father.
Inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, a stranger and you welcomed me, naked and you clothed me, ill and you cared for me, in prison and you visited me.' Then the righteous will answer him and say, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? When did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you?  When did we see you ill or in prison, and visit you?' And the king will say to them in reply, 'Amen, I say to you, whatever you did for one of these least brothers of mine, you did for me.' Then he will say to those on his left, 'Depart from me, you accursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the Devil and his angels. For I was hungry and you gave me no food, I was thirsty and you gave me no drink, a stranger and you gave me no welcome, naked and you gave me no clothing, ill and in prison, and you did not care for me.' Then they will answer and say, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or ill or in prison, and not minister to your needs?' He will answer them, 'Amen, I say to you, what you did not do for one of these least ones, you did not do for me.' And these will go off to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life."


God the Father in Volume Three speaks words of comfort, filled with Fatherly Advice:


"In heaven, you will have instant and constant communication with Me. We will take such joy in each other, dear children. There is a complete absence of want in heaven. You will search in vain for the poor, the troubled, and the sick. Everywhere you look you will view another tableau of peace and serenity. Souls will seek knowledge and find it. Souls will seek wisdom and obtain it. Souls will seek understanding from others and others will instantly understand them. Such sympathetic listening will take place in heaven, My children. You will know nothing of anxiety for loved ones in heaven because all will be well and all will be decided. There will be no uncertainty in the hearts of My children. Dear ones, this is your destiny. This is your inheritance for which you were created. Your time on earth is a small capsule of time designed to give you the opportunity to obtain your place in heaven. Use the gifts I have given you and you will find no limit to what you can achieve on earth. All heavenly help is available."

Lay apostles, today when thinking about our heavenly inheritance, think about loved ones who have gone before us. Think about how much they may have suffered on earth. Then reread the excerpt from Volume Three above. I know my mom is finally where she always longed to be . . . home in eternity with her Beloved Jesus.

Thank you, Lord, for all the wisdom in Your Gospels and in the Volumes. I can't imagine life without them. And, thank you for reminding me about what is waiting when I return home some day!

God bless,
Bonnie